


ozone

by HEAVENTOZAKI



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Polyamory, Zodiac AU, also they all need a nice hug, theyre all doing their best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-05-07 16:40:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 88,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14675169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HEAVENTOZAKI/pseuds/HEAVENTOZAKI
Summary: In this world, there are people who can be born under a certain zodiac. You become that zodiac. Negative and positive, it's all that person. When they come of age, they get sent to a company, the most popular being JYPE.OR:Eight different girls have to live with a stranger for God knows how long. They're doing the best they can with some sick ass powers.





	1. nervous

**Author's Note:**

> i used to have this up on here but i got nervous and panicked and took it down,,, but i got a comment on aff saying that they'd wanna see it back on here so!! this is a whole mess.
> 
> ALSO please keep in mind that this isn't proofread/edited yet so there will more than likely be many mistakes.

You don't want anyone to know who you are.

But you're screwed because who you are is located on your wrist, a spot that's nearly impossible to hide. Especially during the summer.

People judge, and you have to live with the thought that one day, you will be taken away. His men and women always find you. There's a rumor that says that they are their own zodiac as well. I don't believe them; everyone hates the Zodiacs.

I've been past the legal age for a little while now, just waiting for them to come and take me. Mom doesn't like the thought, and she promises the fight, but you can never win against them.

Apparently your graduation doesn't mean much at all to the world. Of course they only care about if others are safe. It's stupid, and I can't understand it, because I don't remember the last time a Zodiac hurt someone.

The day always comes, I know this.

And you can never be prepared, but I can take what I want with me. So when the mark begins to pulse, I begin shoving things into my old, white bag, ranging from clothes to my paint and brushes.

It takes only an hour, and there's three quick knocks. I hear my mom gasp, and then a strangled cry, and it makes my heart drop and my stomach twist itself into knots. Getting it over quickly was always going to be the better option.

"Son Chaeyoung?"

"Yeah."  
~~~~  
??? P.O.V.  
~~~~

They fucking come to Japan? No, no. That's ridiculous.

God, what the fuck?

That's not him. It's not him.

It's fucking not.

Breathing does absolutely nothing, only serving to make my chest feel heavier. They won't take me away. They can't, can they? Not if his weird ass company is in Korea.

God.

They can.

The pulsing wasn't normal, I should have known.

What the hell am I gonna do? I can barely even fucking speak Korean.

Mina and Sana.

Jeongyeon.

Did they get them too? Please, no, this isn't happening-

"Hirai Momo?"

"Fuck off!"  
~~~~  
??? P.O.V.  
~~~~  
Bitter.

The only way to describe my dad's favourite coffee. Such a sweet man shouldn't drink this terrible coffee. Mom never likes it when he drinks it, always saying it makes his lips taste terrible and his breath worse than usual (a joke, but entertaining nevertheless).

I still wonder what America would have been like if I went a year ago. But I'm happier that I stayed, waiting to be taken to Korea. I've always wanted to go anyway.

My brother was lucky; he wasn't born as a Zodiac. I didn't make it out so lucky, being born as one of the most despised. I've never thought of myself as terrible, so it's confusing.

The pulsing didn't strike fear in me, but it did make me hope that Sana and Momo were alright. Especially Momo. She's always been more afraid of the idea of being taken away than Sana.

"Myoui Mina?"

"Did you take care of Momo?"  
~~~~  
??? P.O.V.  
~~~~

Now who the hell wants a homeless person to take away to be a slave?

Anyone and everyone, of course.

This isn't how I wanted my life to go, but when your parents are afraid of anyone born as a Zodiac, you're forced away. And it's damn stupid because they kept me for so many years before letting me go.

Oh, but it's only natural to lock me out as soon as I'm of age. They don't want anyone else to know what I am, and they definitely don't want his people to come and get me where everyone can see.

It's cold out here anyway.

"Im Nayeon?"

"I'll be happier if I go, right?"  
~~~~  
??? P.O.V.  
~~~~

Korea is just one place I miss. There's something different in the air there. Or it could just be because I was born there. I don't understand why Momo's parents thought it would be fantastic to take me away, but I'm somewhat grateful. Even if I'm an adult, I think it'd be difficult living on the streets alone.

Anyone who has to go through that... my heart goes out to them. I wish I could protect them like Momo's parents did for me.

Right. He took Momo, didn't he? It was always going to happen, I know. There's no running.

Protecting must not be my thing.

"Yoo Jeongyeon?"

"Where's Hirai Momo?"  
~~~~  
??? P.O.V.  
~~~~  
There are so many people in the world. Why did I have to be born as one of them? It's only fate that Momo and Mina were, too. I did always hear that you're more drawn to others like you.

Speaking of, I haven't heard from them in a couple of days. It has me feeling sick to my stomach. They've probably already gotten them. Does this mean that he's found Jeongyeon too?

I'm not so worried if I won't be alone. But it's impossible to not miss my parents. I don't know what I'd do if I had a younger brother or a younger sister. I don't think I'd be able to leave.

Korea shouldn't be terrible; Jeongyeon misses it, and her stories are so beautiful that I can always picture her home in my head. I think even I miss Korea sometimes and I've never been.

"Minatozaki Sana?"

"Is it as beautiful as they say?"  
~~~~  
??? P.O.V.  
~~~~  
"Mommy, please don't let them take me," My voice breaks as I try holding onto her tighter. It only serves to make the aching in my chest worse. "Dad, you'll make them leave, right?"

"I can't, darling. We'll visit you," my dad places a kiss on my forehead, and my pulse rises because this is real.

"Dad, no! I can't live there, I don't even know anyone!"

Composure is always something I have.

Not now however. It's normal for me to act this way, right? Being taken away from your family as soon as you're nineteen isn't right. And to another country?

"You'll be alright. We love you," another kiss, this time from my mother. "You have always been strong."

"Chou Tzuyu?"

"Mom, please!"  
~~~~  
??? P.O.V.  
~~~~  
This is absolutely insane. Coming to a church? These people really are as crazy as Mom told me. Is it normal for them to come and get you in a public place? I always thought they would get you from your home anyway.

They couldn't have waited?

All they do is take you away to become a slave for the rest of your life. It's definitely not a happy place. The proof is in his workers: they all are Zodiacs, too. At least that's what everyone else says.

The entire church falls silent, eyes looking around for who the men could be here for. Will they hate me?

"Kim Dahyun?"

"You couldn't have waited?"  
~~~~  
Jihyo's P.O.V.  
~~~~

"You've already found all of them?" I speak up, lifting my head so that I can look at Jinyoung. He sighs deeply, hand ghosting over the names on his computer screen.

"I found the eight others we need right now. We can't protect everyone, no matter how much I want to," he taps a name, frowning. "Nayeon is the one we needed most. She's a Virgo, and from what I know, she doesn't have a home. It's perfect for both of us; Virgos are rare, and she needs a home. And we found sisters, both Scorpios. I got word a day ago that one was aggressive, so be careful."

"All eight will stay with me?" The aggressive girl isn't someone I'm looking forward too.

"Of course. You have enough experience to take care of them and explain what's going on without ruining anything. And I'm sure they'll be much more comfortable around another woman like them," Jinyoung smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. What exactly makes him so unsure this time? "They're coming in tomorrow at eight. We already have the dorm set up, so be ready, Jihyo. I'm trusting you."

"Of course, sir."

Getting a full night's rest is always good.

Of course it's hard to get your mind to calm down after a particularly eventful day. Getting a new place to stay and prepare for eight other women to come in hasn't let my mind mellow out. And then there's the worry that the aggressive one will try something once the guards leave, and I won't be able to stop her. But JYPE isn't as bad as everyone believes; Jinyoung wants to help, and protect anyone born as a Zodiac. The world isn't very kind these days.

My family was always so kind and forgiving. They never feared me, even when I was born as an Aquarius. In fact, we became closer. But they weren't afraid when Jinyoung himself took me to be with him. I wasn't of age at the time, but he saw something in me I suppose. Even as an eight year old. I was known as Park Jisoo then.

Jinyoung recommended changing my name in order to protect myself in the future. The mark can be covered up by a worker living near the top floor. She has always been good, and she was born as a Leo, so she understands. All of Jinyoung's employees are either Zodiacs, or very, very supportive of them. And he never tolerates any harassment, so I genuinely believe he is a good man with good intentions. He's never hurt me in my fourteen years of living with him.

The eight girls arrive right before the clock strikes eight, and a total of ten guards guide them out one by one into the dorm, with two watching out of any suspicious behaviour (they always do). Two of them are loud, with one trying to pull away from the guard holding her wrists. She kicks out, swearing in a different language while the other girl tries to get to her. When another guard holding her pulls her back, she turns quickly, not afraid of getting in the guard's face. I chew on my inner cheek, nerves beginning to bite at me.

"Goddamn, would you calm down? We aren't going to hurt you." The guard swears, tightening her hold on the woman who's still trying to struggle. I can't understand what she says, but she sounds afraid. An idea comes to mind, and I'm hoping it's a good one, but I make the best eye contact I can with the guard holding the other girl and speak in a firm voice,

"Let her go to the other one."

"Jihyo-"

"You heard me." The guard very reluctantly lets go of the taller woman and she immediately wraps her arms around the girl shaking and struggling.

"Don't touch her again." The woman's voice is strong, unwavering, and it sends chills through me.

"Jeongyeon, she's a threat." Jeongyeon. So that's her name.

"Momo's not a threat, for fuck's sake. She's afraid."

"Jihyo? Will you be alright with them?" A taller guard turns to me, releasing a shorter girl's arm.

"Two of you can stay for support. Thank you."

With the room quieter and definitely calmer, I motion for all eight girls to take a seat. Most are obedient, but there's just a couple who look shaken, one being Momo. The other one is dressed in what looks like older, dirty clothes, and I don't mean to judge so quickly, but she seems to be Nayeon.

"Hello," I try greeting. It's noticeably still awkward, and all of them are still afraid. I frown, but keep from mentioning it. "You can call me Jihyo. I just want you to know that we really don't plan on hurting you-"

"Bullshit," Momo swears, and I can finally understand it. Jesus, Jinyoung took her from another country? I should have known; they always teach foreigners Korean when they're born like us.

"We don't. Me especially. I've never liked violence," I smile carefully. "You're here because we want to protect you. You know how the world is with Zodiacs, I'm sure. But I want to get to know you, because you'll be living here for a while."

"So taking away people from their homes is perfectly normal and perfectly alright? That's protecting?" Jeongyeon sighs, wrapping her arm around Momo and pulling her into her lap. It's hard to miss how Momo tenses, but still, she doesn't move away. They're most definitely the sisters. Either that or the other woman beside Jeongyeon with multiple moles is Momo's sister, with the way she holds her hand so tightly.

"It is. You'll see, soon. But since you're going to be staying here with me, why don't you all tell me your names? And maybe what Zodiac you are, too?" It's easy being nice, but most of them don't seem to believe that I'm being genuine.

"Whatever, Jihyo." Jeongyeon spits as she holds Momo tighter. "Jeongyeon. Scorpio. Momo's Scorpio, too."

I was correct: they are the sisters.

"I'm Mina. I'm Aries." Mina doesn't act like the typical Aries. It's good; it provides more proof that we aren't like the world sees us.

"Sana!" Sana beams. "I'm Capricorn. Seoul is so pretty!"

"It is, isn't it?" She seems like she'll be the easiest to befriend. I'm glad for that.

"Tzuyu, Gemini." Her voice is almost as quiet as Mina's, and her eyes look lost. How young is she? She must be of age, either way. God, Jinyoung. At least he's doing this for the best.

"Dahyun. I'm Gemini, too."

"Nayeon," So I was right. My heart feels heavy, and I want nothing more than to hug her. She looks so small, and sad. "I'm Virgo."

"And that leaves me, huh?" The girl runs a hand through her hair, a smile that's definitely nervous in place on her lips. She seems young as well. Don't tell me that Jinyoung's going even younger now. If I'm right, I don't know how he'll be able to convince anyone that his intentions are good. "I'm Chaeyoung, and I'm Taurus."

"Jesus, how old are you?" Jeongyeon's eyes widen when they land on Chaeyoung. I almost chuckle.

"Nineteen."

"Good fucking God, they took you? I'm in my twenties and they just found me!"

"How old?" Nayeon speaks up, still staring down at her lap.

"Twenty-three." Jeongyeon's voice softens, and I'm sure that because of her protective nature (It's obvious with Momo), she feels the same way I do with Nayeon.

"I'm twenty-four. Guess we aren't so far apart, then."

I clear my throat, taking a cautious step forward, "There are only three rooms, so you should choose where you'd like to sleep. My room has four beds, and then there's another with three, the bunk bed counting as two. And there's a smaller room with only one bed. You can choose wherever you want, I'm not completely in charge of you." I finish off with another smile, and I get a couple more smiles the last time. I wonder if Sana ever stops smiling.

"Hey, do any of you want the smaller room?" Jeongyeon speaks up, taking Momo's hand. Mina clings closer to Sana this time. When no one speaks up, Jeongyeon smiles. "Great, 'cause I'm sharing it with Momo."

None of the girls are too picky, and of course it's a good thing. I unpack with the ones that will let me help them, and then check on the other rooms. Dahyun, Chaeyoung, and Tzuyu took the room with the bunk bed, while Nayeon, Mina, and Sana took the room with me. There's a small part of me that's glad that Nayeon chose my room; when I look at her, I want to protect her.

"It's been a long time since I've seen an actual bed," Nayeon speaks up after a long silence. Sana looks up from placing items on her bed , but she doesn't say anything. I almost sigh, but I stop myself. It wouldn't have been appropriate, and I'm sure it could have been taken the wrong way, "It's mine?"

"Yes, Nayeon," I go to smile once again, but I can't react as quickly as Nayeon wraps herself around me, voice wavering just slightly.

"I don't know if you did this, but thank you."

"Of course. Are you hungry? Actually, are any of you hungry? I could call Jinyoung to order something." I hug Nayeon back even tighter when she doesn't let go, my heart beginning to warm up again. I've only known Nayeon for a couple hours and I already want to give her the entire world.

"Jinyoung?" Sana finally makes a noise, now arranging different perfume bottles. She has so many that I'm kind of looking forward to seeing which ones are her favourite.

"JYP," I tell her. Mina, Sana, and Nayeon don't act like they're afraid of JYPE or Jinyoung himself. Not like Momo anyway. We haven't had someone like her for a couple years, the last one being a very, very overwhelmed Cancer. "He owns JYPE."

Mina is quiet still, and now it's beginning to worry me. She isn't plotting to kill me in my sleep, right? No, no. Mina feels nice. There's no way that she would attempt something like that.

At lunch, I keep my eye on each of the girls, trying to learn more about them. It's fairly easy: Nayeon is afraid, just like the others, but she doesn't show it. She's careful, but still downs the food, grimacing whenever she discovers that she doesn't like something.

Jeongyeon is barely anything but protective. It's clear to see that cares deeply for the other girls. Momo and Mina seem to be a soft spot for her (Nayeon too I bet, but they barely know each other right now). She stays by Momo the most, trying to feed her and stealing glances at Nayeon, Mina, and Sana. She keeps an eye on Dahyun, Tzuyu, and Chaeyoung as well, but her main priority is Momo.

Momo refuses to eat, and her hands still shake. I want to protect her along with Nayeon, but I don't think she'd let me. Not right now anyway; I think she could have anxiety, and the thought makes me upset. How old is she?

Sana is more cheerful, and hyper, and filled with positivity. She absolutely adores Seoul, and she's constantly talking about it with Jeongyeon in a mix of Korean and what I'm assuming is Japanese. She must be another foreigner. How many did Jinyoung find?

Dahyun is quiet for now, but her eyes stay almost as bright as Sana's. She loves the tofu, devouring almost all of it within a five minute span. I'd love to get to know her better, but I want to be careful right now.

Chaeyoung looks artistic. She has a fairly optimistic attitude, and she already seems like she looks up to Jeongyeon. She's a small girl, but you can see it on her face how passionate she is. She knew what would happen when she came of age. She's wise.

Tzuyu is afraid. It's not hard to tell, with the way she distances herself and puts up walls. The minute I laid eyes on her, I was amazed at how beautiful she was. But her tired eyes got me the most; she's young, definitely, so she shouldn't seem so lost and upset.

A part of me is still hoping that they can warm up to me quickly. Seven of them should be easier, and quicker to do so (though Momo and Tzuyu may be a challenge).

There's absolutely no way in hell that Jeongyeon will warm up to me anytime soon. She's so sure that JYPE is terrible. I can't blame her though; they did take Momo away from her and you'd have to be blind to not see how much she loves Momo. Does she not care about herself?

Jinyoung calls closer to four in the afternoon, voice steady, "How are they doing?"

"They're doing okay," I almost decide against mentioning Momo, but Jinyoung beats me to the topic.

"I heard that Hirai Momo has been a challenge. Is she doing any better since Jackson left?"

"She stays by Jeongyeon mostly. Do you have any tips for me?" I glance over at Momo. She's cuddled up against Jeongyeon in her lap with Mina and Sana by her side. Trying to put two and two together is fairly easy. Jeongyeon is her sister, and Momo is Japanese, correct? At least I'm quite sure she is. Before she spoke in Korean, she sounded like she was speaking Japanese, the same as Sana. So if Momo and Sana are Japanese, then Mina should be too, right? And Jeongyeon (her sister is Momo). With how close all four are, the signs are there.

"Not really, Jihyo. I'm sorry. This recent generation has been different from the past Zodiacs." Jinyoung chuckles solemnly. I'd count in the recent generation, right? Is he saying that I'm different as well?

"It's fine. Guess I'll just have to do my best, yeah?"

"You always do. I'll be by tomorrow morning to talk to them, so be ready. Good luck, Jihyo."

Jinyoung is always kind.

"Sana?" I ask as I place my phone on the kitchen counter.

"Yes, Jihyo?" Sana perks up, hand still rubbing along Momo's back.

"Can I talk with you for a moment?"

"Oh. Yeah, of course!" Sana whispers into Momo's ear before standing up and walking over to me calmly, her hands behind her back. I motion towards our room and she immediately gets the idea.

"I don't mean to sound so direct, but are you foreign? Jinyoung never said anything about foreign women coming in, so I was really taken back when-"

"Japanese," Sana smiles slowly, now playing with her fingers. "Momo and Mina are too. And Tzuyu is Taiwanese, I think. She told me on the way here."

"Four? God, Jinyoung is absolutely crazy."

"Is being foreign bad?" Sana frowns and I'm quick to wave my hands and fix my words.

"Not at all! I mean that it's strange that he looked so far for you four. Wait, Jeongyeon isn't..?" I thought Jeongyeon was Momo's sister?

"Jeongyeon is Korean. She moved to Kyoto to live with Momo a year ago." I make a quiet sound at Sana's words, my mind beginning to race again.

"I'm sorry if this was weird or out of place," I sigh deeply. "I want to get to know all of you, and I assumed that getting to know a little bit of background would help. Thank you, Sana."

"Wow, you're so cute! I get that Momo is being wild right now, and Jeongyeon is being a jerk, but all you have to do is ask about us," Sana squeezes my hand gently. "I promise we don't bite. You're a Zodiac too, aren't you? It should be easier!"

"I'm not a Zodiac." I stiffen. The last thing Jinyoung would want right now is for me to reveal myself. Even if I believe it'd better for the girls.

"Oh," Sana makes a face, pink tinting her cheeks. "Sorry. I just thought... Right. That was bad of me to assume!"

"You're fine. We'll eat dinner soon, okay? Just tell me whatever the others and you would like."

At dinner, Momo barely eats, poking at her food. Sana told me that Momo likes jokbal, so I ordered some in hopes that Momo would eat. Jeongyeon tries feeding her again, but Momo pushes her hand away, speaking softly in what I'm sure is Japanese again. Jeongyeon replies, and I still can't understand, but she sounds concerned.

"How is it?" I speak up, taking a sip of water. It's quiet for a long second, and then Nayeon speaks.

"Better than shitty fast-food."

"I'd hope so," I scrunch my nose up, flipping over a piece of meat. "But I'm glad you like it. We could have always called in something better if you didn't."

Dahyun hums as she takes another bite, her eyes fluttering shut. It's a very good thing I'm hoping, "Jinyoung's chefs are so good."

"Dahyunnie, here." The next thing I know, Sana is leaning across the table to feed Dahyun. At least they're getting along. All of them are actually. I'm not very surprised, they all did spend a couple of days together before coming here.

"I'll take this opportunity to tell you all that Jinyoung is coming by tomorrow," I try carefully. There's nodding, and murmers of acknowledgment. Jeongyeon stares at me, unrelenting and piercing.

"We become slaves tomorrow?"

"No! He wants to talk-"

"So we become slaves," Jeongyeon scoffs, standing up abruptly. "Fantastic. Drop the nice act, Jihyo. You can't hide forever." She takes Momo's hand, pulling her down the hallway.

I swallow thickly, pushing my plate aside.

"We should prepare for bed."


	2. bite

Jinyoung has always been an early riser, so I'm not completely surprised when he arrives just near eight. It makes me wonder if eight his lucky number; eight girls arrive at eight in the morning on the eighth of the month, and then he comes at eight the next day.

I welcome him with a cup of coffee and a place to sit. He looks around, the corners of his lips curving up after he takes a sip of the coffee, "They're not up yet?"

"They are more than likely tired from the ride. You know how stressful it can be." I reply, relaxing into the seat beside him.

"They're Zodiacs, Jihyo. They don't get as exhausted as a normal person would. You should know, but nevermind that," Jinyoung chuckles. "I know I asked about them yesterday, but they're still doing fine, right? I could call you in a guard if you feel threatened."

"Threatened? Not at all," a small lie. Jeongyeon isn't threatening, but she's intimidating. And Momo could become aggressive any moment again if triggered. "The worst is Jeongyeon running her mouth."

"Ah. The eldest Scorpio?" I nod and he continues. "When I first got reports on Mina, I thought she was a Scorpio, you know. A part of me also thought that Jeongyeon was the Aries we were looking for. They really have changed, haven't they?"

"Not to be rude, but where are you going with this? I should probably prepare food for them as well-"

"We have chefs for a reason. And what I'm trying to say is that you should just let Jeongyeon calm down. She's only angry because she's afraid," Jinyoung finished his coffee and I go to refill the mug, but he shakes his hand and places it in the sink. "Speaking of, good morning, Jeongyeon."

"Great," Jeongyeon deadpans, voice thick with sleep as she rubs at her eyes. "Stay away from Momo. And I'm not afraid of anyone."

"Just as feisty as Jihyo says," I feel heat rise to my cheeks. "You'll understand soon enough that my intentions are anything but ill."

"I'm sure I will. When's the slave work start?"

"Slave work?" Jinyoung laughs. "No. I want to give you and the other girls a tour around the building."

"A fuckin' tour? You're joking." Jeongyeon makes a face as she helps herself to a small fruit. The next to wake up is Nayeon, and she's fairly quick to latch onto me. It makes me feel good; she's warmed up to me the quickest, and she's just the one I wanted to completely protect (I want to do the same to all of them, but Nayeon seems so much more vulnerable).

"Nayeon, hello." Jinyoung smiles kindly, his eyes squinting. Nayeon bites her lip, looking over me carefully before looking back at Jinyoung.

"Hi."

"This is Jinyoung," I squeeze Nayeon gently. "He's the CEO of JYPE."

"And the one responsible for kidnapping us," Jeongyeon makes a face, looking over Jinyoung once. "We're doing a tour or something."

"A tour? That's... It's nice of you. Thank you." Nayeon smiles without her teeth (It's a little disappointing considering I would have loved to see her bunny teeth).

"God, you too?" Jeongyeon sighs, turning on her heels and walking back down the hallway.

"Jeongyeon should warm up soon, if she's like how we predicted. But yes, I planned on showing you all around the building. You are guests," Jinyoung looks down at his watch, nodding once. "But I should be going to get ready. Jihyo, meet me on the eleventh floor at twelve. We'll begin there." I'm surprised it's not the eighth.

As it turns out, most of the girls don't sleep in for too long. And everyone takes the news well, not once complaining. In fact, they seem more excited. Everyone other than Jeongyeon anyway.

I understand that she's afraid and most definitely pissed off, but she should still give JYPE a chance, right? And it's almost like she's angry with me, too. I do work for JYPE, but not in the way she probably thinks. I don't get to plan out who to find next, and Jinyoung never tells me about his projects. All except for this one.

There's a part of me that thinks he's testing me, considering this is my first time participating in a project. I don't know what this plan is however, so it's difficult to make sure I'm pleasing him. He is practically my boss.

Momo sticks to Jeongyeon the entire walk there (JYPE is really just up the road), and Nayeon stays by me. It's endearing to say the least, though I'm hoping she could grow out of it. As much as I love protecting her, Jinyoung would prefer her growing more independent like a Virgo is supposed to be. Momo too, but with Jeongyeon filling her head with nonsense, I doubt it'll happen anytime soon.

When we arrive, Jinyoung is standing near his desk, placing papers aside and rapidly writing on a few with a pen. I clear my throat and he looks up quickly with a smile, "Right on time. Hello, I'm Jinyoung."

I bite my lip when just a few of the girls greet him, "They're not very talkative."

"As can be expected. I'm here to welcome you all to JYPE. I'll be giving you a tour of the building because, well, you're all welcome here anytime you want. The staff are very friendly and will help you if you need it. Anyone decides to harass you? Tell me and they'll be fired," Jinyoung takes a breath, nodding towards Jeongyeon. "And no, we aren't making you our slaves."

"I'm not trusting a creepy old man." Jeongyeon shrugs, draping an arm over Momo's shoulders. "But stay away from Momo and we'll do just fine I guess."

"Don't be so quick to judge, Jeongyeon." Jinyoung warns, a smile creeping up onto his lips when Jeongyeon scowls. Momo tugs on Jeongyeon's arm and Jeongyeon bites her lip. At least Momo has her under control.

"We're beginning here because there are nine women in your dorm. All of you are Zodiacs. Minus Jihyo, but she leads you, so I'm considering her apart of you all," the lie makes me nervous. I can't hide forever, no matter how good the Leo is. "You're project Twice. And no, you will not be made into slaves."

"We're a project? What the hell-"

"Jeongyeon, please. Jihyo, keep her under control so I can explain. Now, the ninth floor is yours. Everything you'll need for the dorm is here, and you know what's even better? The fact that I don't care at all if you come up here to just hang out. Tell me and I'll make sure absolutely no one disturbs you." Jinyoung pauses, giving everyone a minute to digest the new information.

"Oh hell no. You're lying. You're gonna lock us in here and-"

"Jeongyeon," It's the first time I've tried being stern with her, and I'm shocked myself at how steady my voice is. "For Christ's sake, you're safe here."

"You're really going to lie to me? That must be fantastic for your reputation." Jeongyeon replies easily, stepping closer to me. It's easier to hold my ground; so many years dealing with men and women like her has made me used to it. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't frustrated though.

"There's no reason to lie," I tilt my head slightly when Jeongyeon leans even closer, eyes cold and unrelenting. "But I'd appreciate it if you'd stop acting high and mighty for more than five minutes and-"

"Enough." Jinyoung steps in front of Jeongyeon and she finally relents with a final glare.

Jeongyeon is quiet the next hour, only occasionally mumbling something in Japanese to Momo. At one point Nayeon decides to try and cling to Momo, and strangely, Momo accepts it. Jeongyeon isn't so cautious around Nayeon as she is with everyone else. It's only natural considering her nature and Nayeon's current behaviour and personality.

Jinyoung notices, a glint in his eye when he observes Nayeon. He's noticeably confused, but he still seems glad that Jeongyeon isn't cold to everyone. And it becomes even more clear to him how dependent Nayeon is on both Jeongyeon (she switched to Jeongyeon's arm halfway) and me when he reaches the dining area just in time for lunch. Nayeon leaves Jeongyeon's arm in favour of mine (it fuels a small part of my ego, but I won't tell anyone that), but she continues to whine and ask for Jeongyeon to stay near her.

When dishes are served out onto a large table, Jinyoung allows Nayeon to take the first bite rather than himself, and he keeps an eye on Momo (who doesn't eat even when she's barely ate at all since arriving).

"Momoring, please eat something. You're not going back are you?" Jeongyeon whispers near Momo's ear as she forks a small piece of meat in Momo's bowl. I don't mean to overhear it, but my curiosity has me wondering what Jeongyeon means. Go back where? Japan? No, Momo knows that it'll be a while before she does.

"Not hungry." Momo answers, looking up and across the table. I follow her gaze to Mina, who simply frowns at Momo. They don't push the topic, but Mina, Sana, and Jeongyeon all seem uncomfortable.

"You eat well," Jinyoung comments, and his eyes never meet Momo's. "How can I be so sure I won't need to stock up even more now?"

Nayeon hums, eyes bright. I can't help but admire how beautiful she looks when she's happy. I want her to look like that all the time.

Jinyoung told stories of how Jackson would find a Zodiac to take care of and take under his wing, and how Jinyoung himself took Jimin and Jackson himself under his own. Perhaps I'll take Nayeon under mine, then.

"There's something that the older bunch of you might want to know," Jinyoung pauses to allow everyone else to quiet down. "Dahyun, Chaeyoung, and Tzuyu are the youngest of you all. You'll want to take good care of them."

"Why'd you take someone just barely an adult, but you waited to take the rest of us?" Jeongyeon finally says something, but it's never good for long.

"I took the ones that seemed to have good hearts and a good mind. It was more difficult to find Nayeon, you, Mina, and of course Momo. Four of you were in Japan while Nayeon didn't even have home. Sana was well-known by many people in Osaka."

"Sorry, but sir?" Sana joins in, voice softer and more timid. "Tzuyu is from another country as well. Is she as young as Chaeyoung?"

"If my information is correct, she's just a couple months younger. I chose Tzuyu because I had heard about her from a few of my staff. The four of you were nearly invisible, while Tzuyu stayed around Tainan." Jinyoung glances at the girl as she plays with her fingers.

"You took a girl even younger than Chaeyoung? And a fucking foreigner! Don't you think she'll miss her parents?" Jeongyeon grips onto the edge of the table, her knuckles turning white. Nayeon makes a face before brushing over them. Jeongyeon softens almost immediately and it nearly makes me stop to think.

"Of course I know she'll miss them. I'll allow them to visit, but I need to keep her safe."

"Keep her safe? Yeah, taking a teenager away from her home is safe. Your head is so thick," Jeongyeon allows a breath to leave her lips.

"She's of age, Jeongyeon." Jinyoung continues pushing. It could be a good thing; he always gets people to see the light with pushing. But Jeongyeon has a terrible temper.

"So was I."

"I had to wait for you."

"Okay." Jeongyeon looks at me for a second, lips curving into a slight frown. I feel a tug at my heart, but I try ignoring it; Jeongyeon is nothing but a brat who should act her age.

Even I can't fool myself like that.

Jeongyeon needs to protect and being confined to the dorm and building with strangers only makes her more nervous because she knows she can't protect who she wants to. Jeongyeon is easy and hard to read at the same time.

The next half of the tour goes by quickly with Jeongyeon only opening her mouth exactly three times. Nayeon, Momo, and now Mina calm her down each time. Occasionally, Sana will rile her up just for kicks (I'm guessing anyway) and Jeongyeon will try lunging at her. Jinyoung is partial to locking Jeongyeon away, I'm sure with the way he steals glances when she decides to become more rowdy.

The dorm is cold, but not so lonely when we finally arrive back at seven PM. Some of the girls relax onto the couch and floor while some head into their rooms. Nayeon is already wrapped around Momo with Sana running her fingers through Momo's hair.

The hallway is decorated with the other girls' pictures of their families and even a picture that Chaeyoung said she drew. It doesn't feel so cold now, even when a hand wraps around my wrist and my heart leaps into my throat.

"I need to talk to you." Jeongyeon says, voice hard. My heart slowly finds its home again and I have to swallow to be able to reply at all.

"As long as you're not plotting to kill me, it's okay."

Jeongyeon pulls me (quite literally) into the room that she shares with Momo, pointing towards their bed with a roll of her eyes, "Sit."

Their bedsheets are a pretty pink and there's quite a few stuffed animals laid out on it as well. Call it common sense, but I'm about ninety percent sure that they're not Jeongyeon's. They've already filled the shelf on the right corner of the room with legos, some albums, and a couple books if I'm correct. Their room looks like it's truly theirs.

"Before you think I'm gonna kill you," a bit too late, but please, go ahead Jeongyeon. "I don't, like, hate you or whatever. You're just-" Jeongyeon cuts herself off with a heavy sigh, already pacing throughout the room.

"It's this hard to say?" I ask, smiling just slightly. It's good to know that Jeongyeon doesn't hate me too much, even if she could be lying (she's not. Jeongyeon isn't afraid to tell others what she thinks).

"No," Jeongyeon stops in front of me, making sure to keep eye contact. "You're perfect, aren't you? It's just been a day and you already piss me off because you're so in control. Do you even know what it's like to be taken away?"

"I don't know what it's like," I answer honestly, searching Jeongyeon's face. "But I know that you're having a hard time."

"And you know everything."

"Not necessarily, no. But your hands always shake and you're always so angry. You're scared, aren't you?"

"Scared? Over my dead body. It's more like I know what's going to happen to us. And at first I didn't think about it, but Momo has always been the type to think too much," Jeongyeon bites her lip before sitting down beside me with another slow sigh. "And she's like my little sister, so when she over thinks things, I do too. Jinyoung is too nice to be genuine, and you are too."

"Isn't nice a good thing?" I question, eyes drifting to her hand. She wouldn't let me if I tried to hold it, so I refrain from reaching out.

"Not the way you are. There's a such thing as too nice, where it becomes fake. No one is as calm as you. No one is as perfect as you."

"I'm not perfect," I frown, brushing over my covered mark. If being a liar is perfect then I suppose I could be though. "You should rest. I'm always here if you need someone to talk to, even if I'm your last resort."

"That's what I mean. Too nice," Jeongyeon laughs, but it's empty. "Don't think that just because we talked means I'll respect you more. You're still fake to me."

"I didn't expect you to just yet. I'll call you later for dinner."

Be still my pounding heart.

Every single Scorpio that has stayed at JYPE has been so intense that they leave my heart racing. Jeongyeon is different however; the girl is more guarded than the typical Scorpio (from what I've seen) and she's louder and more fire like for a water sign. Perhaps she has some more water in her and I just have to dig a little deeper.

And it doesn't hurt me too much that she believes I'm fake and trying to hurt her. I know our intentions and I know myself. Patience is hard to have when dealing with someone like Jeongyeon, but it's the best option to use. Kindness is second; she would prefer a jerk proving themself to her than a kind person doing nothing.

It's amazing how eight of these girls are so different and yet they all have found that they can trust each other. There's still a part of me hoping that I can be close to them too one day.


	3. drown

YOO JEONGYEON'S P.O.V.  
****  
The least of my worries is myself in any way. Momo needs me right now and I can't be selfish. I won't complain too; I love taking care of people. Especially if people means Momo, Sana, or Mina. Even the younger girl with pretty eyes (I think her name might be Chaeyoung). I may not know her, but it's so easy to see that she has a a beautiful heart. And Tzuyu too. Dahyun can surely take care of herself, but she's still young.

Those three are the youngest so I want to protect them from Jinyoung and Jihyo and even their weird employees. And the Nayeon girl makes my heart feel strange. Living alone on the streets for so long must have been so terrible. It makes me wonder if she's lived there her whole life. Either way it pisses me off, and I hope that her parents weren't like mine.

Momo's parents were better than anyone in my family. And Hana was just like an older sister that I never had (mine were too afraid that I'd hurt them). Hana never gave a shit that we were Zodiacs. And despite her sweet nature, anyone who threatened us would have been assured a bloody nose.

Japan wasn't always kind to us, but it was home for me. Of course I missed Korea, but I could get my fix by telling Sana stories about it. She always loved when I told her about the busy, bright streets and the prettiest sunsets I'd ever seen. Her smile every time made moving to Japan worth it.

Mina was struggling with her parents when I met her. They wanted her to run away to America so that she could study there and be safe. Mina made her own choice. I remember wanting to strangle her and hug her at the same time.

Since 1936, it's been required for foreign families with a Zodiac born into them to find a way to teach them Korean. There's more than just JYPE, but typically JYPE gets to Zodiacs quicker than other companies do (it's what I've heard anyway). Momo's parents were friends with mine, so when they heard that my parents were going to leave me, they took me in. It was easier for Momo to learn Korean because of me I believe. Mina's parents spoke more than just Japanese and they had enough money to get Mina lessons. And since Mina was close to Sana, they helped Sana out as well.

JYPE isn't home.

And Korea isn't home anymore.

Jihyo is far from home; I can't trust her.

Nayeon? The girl feels safe. She feels warm and loving, and even if I'm not crushing on her like some teenager, I enjoy her company.

And I like watching her flip through Jihyo's books mindlessly, humming under her breath. Something tugs at my heart once when she frowns. I keep watching her (I promise I'm not being weird) for another minute before Momo crawls into her lap. Nayeon's response is almost immediate, wrapping her hand in Momo's short hair.

Giving in, I walk over to them and sit down in a chair to their left, "You're close with Momo?"

"Me?" Nayeon freezes, the tips of her ears turning pink when she looks at me. I let myself smile before nodding. "Oh. Moguri wanted someone to dry her hair last night and you were in the shower. I was just offering, I'm sorry if you were-"

"Calm down, I'm not some crazy girlfriend. Thank you, Nayeon." Nayeon pauses, but her hand keeps moving. Momo sighs, leaning closer to Nayeon.

"But you're dating? Oh, geez, I didn't really know. I mean I did, but also not? You're very hard to read."

"Have some confidence, loser," I tease. Nayeon relaxes again. "I'm not her girlfriend. That'd be weird."

"Weird?" Nayeon makes a face. Momo sits up in her lap abruptly, a small smile on her face.

"She's my older sister."

"Sister? But you're Japanese-"

"We can say adopted." Momo wraps her arms around Nayeon's neck, falling back again.

"Careful," I joke, crossing my legs. "Minari will get jealous."

"Shut up, stupid, she's my best friend!" Momo rolls off of Nayeon smoothly, already trying to grab a pillow on the couch to throw at me. "Therefore, she knows better!"

"And Sana?" I dart up to grab Momo, doing my very best to hold her arms to her sides. I hear someone clear their throat, and when I look up, I bite my lip.

"At least you're playing around." Nayeon grabs Jihyo's hand to pull her closer to her on the couch.

"Damn, you've got Jihyo wrapped around your finger, huh?" I ask Nayeon as I let go of Momo. Ignoring Jihyo seems to be the best option.

"Oh. Do I?"

I don't miss Jihyo's smile. She's not into Nayeon is she?

"Probably," Jihyo laughs softly. "How are you three doing?"

"I'm okay." Momo mumbles, hand reaching out to grab my pinkie. Nayeon smiles up at Jihyo (there's a strange feeling in my stomach, but it's nothing) and I think that's enough of an answer for Jihyo. When she directs her look at me, I decide to get rid of my pride for just a moment.

"I slept and ate. I'm living I guess." I deadpan. Saying I'm living is probably too obvious that I'm lying, but Jihyo doesn't say anything. She nods twice, her thumb brushing over Nayeon's hand.

Sleep hasn't come easy, and it's not just Jihyo. Momo refuses to eat and it's the biggest deal in the world for me because Momo has a history of not eating regularly (her teacher at an old school in Japan always told her she ate too much and that she needed to lose weight). Momo told Hana about it first and of course Hana tried threatening him. It wasn't a good idea, but I would have done the same thing.

And I realize that moving to another fucking country could definitely put some stress on Momo's shoulders, but I'm doing my very best to comfort her. Even I'm freaked out (I'll never tell Jihyo that), I'm still trying. And Sana and Mina are too, but she won't listen. Is she afraid of the way everyone else here will view her if she eats? God. No one here seems like the type to judge. Even Jihyo.

It's not like any of us here are in any position to judge either. After all, I know that most of the girls here have went through things. The only ones I have no idea about are the youngest three. Chaeyoung seems fine enough, almost like she's not afraid. Dahyun has been relaxed, and Tzuyu won't talk. She opened up to Sana and Mina on the way here, but that's about it.

What's their goal anyway? JYPE kidnaps eight girls, puts them into a house with a total stranger who isn't even like us, and then he won't even talk. The tour didn't matter, and it's not like we'll ever have total privacy. To visit the ninth floor of his building, we have to ask Jihyo and she has to contact someone to take us.

I'd know; I asked her last night after dinner because I'm only human and I need time alone sometimes. She talked to a man named Jackson, but it was too late at night and no one else was at JYPE. It's bullshit if you ask me considering Jinyoung told us just earlier that day that we could go anytime we want. It's not like I'm going to try and open a window and jump out so I won't have to be here.

Maybe I would have considered it.

It's a quieter day today with most people in their rooms still doing God knows what. Momo is sleeping again (it's all she's really done), and honestly I want to talk to Nayeon. There's something about the girl that makes her seem so interesting.

I'm about eighty percent sure that she's rooming with Jihyo, so I take precautions and knock before just barging in. To my luck, Nayeon opens the door, now dawning a rather old looking shirt with wet, messy hair. She must have showered.

"Oh. Hi."

"Is now a bad time?" I ask, looking her over. That was probably a bad thing to do because now she thinks I'm checking her out, I'm sure, and maybe I'm contemplating actually doing it, but-

"I don't think so. What do you need?" Nayeon leaves the door open before climbing back into what I'm assuming is her bed. There's the most adorable rabbit stuffed animal, and I'm sure if Momo were to come in here, she'd try to steal it.

"I felt kinda lonely. Momo is sleeping, Sana is flirting with one of the younger ones, I'm most definitely sure, and Mina is... She's somewhere. This is her room too right?" I walk around, admiring how fairly clean it is. With Sana rooming in here, I doubt it'll stay that way.

"Yep," Nayeon smiles, pointing towards another bed beside her, and it's then that I notice her penguin printed blanket (it was a gift from an ex boyfriend. She kept it for some reason). "She's very quiet you know."

"Yeah. Just wait," I laugh, my thoughts drifting back to how wild Mina can be once she's comfortable. "The girl is something else once she's opened up to you. But, uh, what are you up to?"

"You won't like this, but I'm waiting for Jihyo. She wanted to shower after me, and she promised to do my hair," Nayeon pauses, eyes widening just slightly. "Wait, I know how to do it! I'm not totally useless. She did Sana's and I really liked it, and-"

"You're rambling again. Is that a habit of yours?" I sit down on Sana's bed (I can tell it's hers by all the perfume and lotion sitting by it).

"It's been a long time since I've gotten to really talk with someone. I'm sorry if it's too much, it's just that I really enjoy it." Nayeon frowns, playing with her fingers. I can't help the smile that threatens to form on my lips. She's cute in her own way, I guess.

"I like your voice," I tell her, already moving over to her bed. I curl my finger around a black strand of her, admiring how soft it is.

"Thank you I think. Is there anything specific that you wanted to talk about?" Nayeon shifts when my hand rests near her leg. I don't move any further because I know what it's like to be uncomfortable with someone touching you.

"Not necessarily. Is there anything you wanna talk about?" I pause when Jihyo comes into the room wearing just a towel. My heart stops for a second and I drop my head immediately, ignoring the heat slowly coming to rest in my face. Stupid Jihyo, I swear. Does she not know how to bring clothes with her?

"Oh," Jihyo swears under her breath and I hear feet shuffling quickly. "Sorry about that, I forgot my clothes. Whenever you're ready, Nayeon!" The door shuts abruptly and I hear Nayeon laugh softly.

"She's adorable isn't she?"

"Adorable my ass. More like too scatterbrained and annoying-"

"Why do you hate Jihyo?" Nayeon turns to me suddenly, eyes moving carefully. I swallow because my heartbeat speeds up just a little and I have no fucking clue why and it's kind of annoying.

"I don't hate the girl," I mumble, but I refuse to break eye contact. "I just don't trust her."

"It's not her fault that we're here," Nayeon answers, shaking her head. "And they only want what's best for us. I don't know about you, but I'm so much safer here. And I feel happier because I'm not alone. No one really hates me here."

"That's normal for you, you were fucking homeless for however long. I wasn't, Nayeon. She took Momo from me and then she took me from my family. I don't want anything to do with her," I stand up, chewing on my inner lip. "But you should go get ready with Jihyo, shouldn't you? She won't be waiting forever."

Sometimes I hate myself for being such a dick to people who don't deserve it. Or how I get so angry quickly. I wasn't even like this before I moved to Kyoto. It's not her fault. Jihyo works for JYPE, does she not? Of course she does.

A woman like that can only work at a high-end company. A lying, superficial, dumb kidnapping company.

Showers must be a common thing today because I find myself trying to relax under the hottest water known to man (Sana would be proud of how hot it is. The girl always loves burning her damn skin off). I sink down to the bottom of the tub, running a hand through my wet hair, and laughing quietly.

Surely I'm overreacting. It's what Hana always said I did. But she's one to talk with how aggressive she could get when defending us. Maybe that's where I got the aggression from and it's just now showing.

No.

I'm acting reasonably. Jihyo has no clue what it's like to be taken away; she's not like us. She only cares about acting on Jinyoung's word, and Jinyoung is somehow worse. He's been doing this for years. When Jihyo chose to help him, she chose the wrong path.

I make the water even hotter and breathe in the steam, smiling when my skin begins to turn even pinker. I wonder if the water will fall into my lungs if I stay here long enough.

Peace is something I would get then.


	4. burn

IM NAYEON'S P.O.V.  
****  
Being inside of a warm house when it's raining outside is so much better than having to endure it or trying to sneak into a shitty fast-food place to hide from it. And wearing another person's sweatshirt because you're kind of cold is a lot better than making yourself as small as possible by curling up into a ball.

Finally, resting on top of someone is so nice.

Jeongyeon is very, very confusing. I don't understand at all why she dislikes Jihyo so much. In fact, Jihyo has only been kind to me since I've climbed out of the van ( it was small and it smelled weird too). And I don't mean to brag, but I've always had a sense for good people. There's absolutely no way she's faking it. Especially when she allows me on her bed (on top of her, but it's the same thing) because I'm feeling too anxious to go back to sleep.

Jihyo opens her eyes, looking over my face, "Your heart isn't beating as fast. Are you feeling better?"

"I'm used to hearing storms, but it doesn't mean that I like them," I force out. I'm sure my heart will begin racing again when she lowers her voice. I glance over at Mina's sleeping figure and then Sana's. They're both still fast asleep. "It's too early."

"Is it?" Jihyo smiles, brushing my hair back.

"For storms, yes," I groan as quietly as I can, already burying my face back into Jihyo's neck. I don't mean to be completely weird, but she smells so nice and her breathing is so calming. She puts Sana's perfume to shame. "I'm sorry for waking you. Jeongyeon's door was shut and I didn't want to bother her, and you're the only one I'm used to so far and-"

"You never have to apologize to me. My job is to take care of you," Jihyo drops her hand beside me in what I'm assuming is an attempt to grab the blanket. "Do you want to get up and do something for the others? Tzuyu is usually the first one up around this time, and I'm sure she's hungry."

"I'm not a very good cook." I try arguing, but Jihyo laughs and shakes her head.

"I'll have to teach you then."

Jihyo ties her hair up once we're prepared enough and changes into a sleeveless shirt (she said that her sleeves would just keep falling down), and I'm kind of surprised that she isn't cold. Staying cold all the time must be me getting too old I assume.

The thought of my age makes me wonder how old Jihyo is. She never told us when we first came here. She doesn't look super young or super old, but she acts very mature. Then again it could just be first impressions.

Halfway through when Jihyo is stirring a mixture in a bowl and I'm attempting my very best to cut some strawberries, Jeongyeon comes into the kitchen, rubbing at her eyes. When she opens them, she simply makes a face, "You're cooking?"

"You're talking to me?" Jihyo teases (at least I hope she is).

"I have to. Don't expect anymore than a few words," Jeongyeon shrugs, coming up behind me. "Do you need help, Nayeon?"

"No," I bite my lip as I try to slice through another strawberry. It doesn't work as smoothly as I'd hoped, so with a sigh, I correct myself, "Maybe."

"Thought so. Hey, Jihyo? You know the girl was using the damn knife upside down?"

"Nayeon, sweetie," Jihyo sighs, turning around to come up on my other side. I groan and cover my face because who the hell holds a knife wrong? "No wonder you were having such a hard time!"

"You're not upset are you?" I uncover my face when Jeongyeon (her hands feel different from Jihyo's) touches my wrist as gentle as possible. "I was only teasing."

"I'm embarrassed," I laugh. "God, who holds a knife upside down?"

"You do apparently," Jihyo pats my head a couple times before turning back to mixing things. "Yoo Jeongyeon, you are a liar. A few words my ass."

"Only when I need to be." Jeongyeon shrugs. Jihyo shakes her head before calling me over to finish mixing two different bowls while she tends to the fruit.

Breakfast is simple. And it reminds me of what home was like before I was put out for being different. Jihyo made pancakes with a ton of different fruits, and Jeongyeon even helped.

Jeongyeon never apologized for blowing up on me, but I don't mind; it wasn't a huge deal anyway. I should be more careful to avoid making her angry.

Throughout the process of preparing the pancakes, Jeongyeon exchanged words with Jihyo that were very, very colourful. Surprisingly, Jihyo kept calm and only ever tried seeing things from Jeongyeon's point of view.

I feel a bit bad for Jihyo. She tries very hard and never swears at us, but Jeongyeon is never kind to her. Momo is scared, but she hasn't lashed out since the very first day. In fact, Momo is too sweet to really do any damage I've learned.

All of us are very confused still. Even if we knew it would happen, we still couldn't anticipate it. No one ever wants it to happen, so sometimes I think I'm insane. But from where I was so alone for so long, I needed someone. I didn't care who.

At first I believed that we would be turned into slaves. I think everyone thought that and Jeongyeon continuously pushing the idea didn't help at all. But Jihyo was softer than I'd expected. Even if it's only been a few days, I think I look up to her.

She was the first one that cared to get to know me.

As Jeongyeon said, she is only a liar when she needs to be, so I'm wondering now if she's pretending to try and get to know me. Jeongyeon doesn't seem like the type, but it's clear to see how she would do anything and everything for Momo. And since Momo has gotten close to me recently, maybe Jeongyeon thinks that she has to get close to me as well just so that Momo is better.

Silly thoughts is all these are.

Son Chaeyoung likes pancakes I learn.

And she's close friends with Dahyun I'm assuming. It's the only reasonable explanation that she's in the midst of smearing syrup on the girl's face. I cringe internally, but it still looks fun. And Dahyun laughs and returns the favour while Tzuyu makes a face at them.

Mina sighs when Sana tries doing the same, tucking her face into her hands. Sana pouts and whines while Momo stares at the food in front of her. I notice how Jeongyeon notices and reaches for her hand. I'm confused, but I try doing the same.

"Momo, please," Jeongyeon whispers near Momo's ear. "You've got to be starving."

"I'm fine." Momo smiles, but even I can't miss the lack of genuine happiness. It's guilt that seeps through her teeth instead. I feel strange inside when Momo almost cowers away from the food like she's afraid of it. Jeongyeon eventually sighs, picking back at her own pancakes.

"I hope that you've rested," Jihyo interrupts Dahyun's laughter and Sana's loud whining with a small smile. "Jinyoung would like to see us again today."

"Again?" Jeongyeon groans. "What's with that creepy old man and his obsession with us?"

"It's not an obsession, but you know why he wants to make sure you're okay." Jihyo folds her hands on top of the table, breathing deeply.

"If he wanted to make sure I was okay, then he would have asked before taking me here." Jeongyeon replies easily, a laugh escaping through her lips. For once, Jihyo brushes her off.

"Jackson will be here to take us to JYPE at eleven, so please be ready by then. Jinyoung says it's important."

Even when Jackson is guiding us into the building, Jeongyeon runs her mouth to Jihyo obviously still upset. I don't blame her, but surely she doesn't have to take it out on Jihyo.

The elevator takes us to the ninth floor and when the doors open, Jinyoung is resting on a dark chair, a glass of what I bet is alcohol in his hand. He smiles when he sees us, gesturing towards the seating area in front of him.

"Good afternoon," he says after just a sip. "First I want to address Jeongyeon."

"Address me? Did I fuck up again?" Jeongyeon tenses next to me and a part of me wants to hold her hand and run my thumb along the skin there because it's what Jihyo does when I'm upset.

"No, no. I believe I messed up last night, didn't I?" Jinyoung places his glass down before crossing his legs. "I Apologize for last night. I told you that you could come anytime you wanted, and yet I refused you."

"Okay. What am I supposed to say? It's fine?" She shifts and the urge to hold her hand comes back stronger.

"It is up to you if you want to accept my apology. However, I do want you to now that from here on out, my word stands. I was busy preparing last night is all."

"Preparing? That doesn't sound great on your part," Chaeyoung points out, taking a careful glance at Jeongyeon. "Especially when you know what most of us think of you."

"It's nothing bad, don't worry. It's for you all actually." Jinyoung finished with his typical smile. Jeongyeon doesn't buy it of course, but Jihyo gives her a look before she can open her mouth.

For some reason Jeongyeon listens to her and keeps her mouth shut. There's a couple silent moments of shifting and then I notice Jinyoung tap Jihyo's back. She clears her throat and then bites her lip.

"This part is mainly for the foreigners," she seems nervous and that makes me nervous. "We will have classes everyday near the third floor for language. And as for the younger ones, there is a school that you can attend. It's not mandatory, but it will probably be good for you. You won't be alone either."

"Do we have to attend language classes?" Momo purses her lips slightly. "I am... Not very good."

"They're not there to judge you, dear," Jihyo nods. "And we have therapy sessions every Tuesday and Thursday at six at night. There's a gym on the very first floor, a spa, and as you saw yesterday, we even have a garden that you can look through."

Jeongyeon makes a face, her fingers skimming over my knuckles. I flinch, but I don't mean to. When Jeongyeon goes to pull away, I grab her fingers and give her a look that I'm hoping she can decipher.

"Are we done?" Jeongyeon asks.

"We can be if you want," Jinyoung decides. Another moment of silence and Jeongyeon speaks up again.

"Yeah. I'm done," she grabs my hand and stands up, glancing over at Momo. "Can I go to the garden?"

With a nod, Jeongyeon nods to Momo before leading me out. The building is filled with many faces, none similar to each other. Their marks are on their wrists so bright and noticeable like they're proud and they look happy. It only serves to make Jeongyeon more tense.

The garden is in a room that no one can see into, but you can see outside. My grandma had windows like these, and my parents did too. Grandma always told me that it was because we didn't want anyone to take me away so quickly. Mom and Dad definitely didn't think like that though.

There's an array of different flowers with roses being the most common. There aren't just red roses either, and it makes the room so much nicer.

"Do you think these are artificial?" I speak up, skimming over blue roses. I take notice of a blue butterfly on one, but I ignore it. It's probably fake as well.

"Probably," Jeongyeon bends down next to a red rose. "I've never seen a blue one that's real."

I nod even though she can't see me. It's peaceful here, and it's not too hot or too cold. Jeongyeon doesn't even feel cold like she usually does.

"Do you think Jihyo would get mad at me if I tried lighting one on fire?" My eyes widen and I push her shoulder.

"Of course she will! Besides, you shouldn't hurt it. Water it or something else."

"Water isn't as fun as fire," Jeongyeon smirks, running her fingertips across the rose. I think about her words for just a second.

"But you're a water sign."

"And you're an earth. Is that why you don't want me burning this rose?" She takes out a knife and I go to move back because what the fuck, it's a knife, and I'm really sure that we're not supposed to have weapons. She gives me a look before slicing the stem of the rose, quick and neat. I almost roll my eyes.

"The rose did absolutely no harm to you," I frown. "Where did you even get that knife? It's your own fault that you're bleeding now."

"Then it actually did harm me," Jeongyeon laughs and my stomach feels strange, like it's twisting itself into a knot. "You sound like Jihyo."

"Don't the thorns hurt?"

"Of course they do. I'll cut them off because I want to keep it. It's pretty even if I've just killed it," she bites her lip. "Things are always prettier when they're broken, I believe."

For some reason I think that she doesn't believe that and she's trying to reassure herself. I used to do the same exact thing. But Jeongyeon isn't broken; the girl is always so strong and protective. How is it that she's like me?

The thought process doesn't stay for long because there's an abrupt change in atmosphere. When I look over towards the door, Momo is standing frozen. She coughs a couple of times and then apologizes profusely.

"Why are you apologizing?" Jeongyeon raises an eyebrow as she stuffs the rose into the pocket of her jacket.

"I was interrupting something, wasn't I? I feel bad," Momo pouts and my heart melts just slightly. "But um, Jihyo asked me to come find you."

"You didn't interrupt anything," Jeongyeon tenses. "But forget about that. Jihyo couldn't get us on her own? Some leader she is."

"She was busy helping the Kim girl calm down," What did Dahyun do? My stomach drops in fear. "It's nothing too bad! She had an anxiety attack when this one guy came too close. I wanted to stay, but Jihyo thought you'd trust me more."

"She's not wrong. Is Dahyun okay?"

"She was just starting to calm down when Jihyo sent me. We're going to leave soon, but she said that you can stay if you want." Momo glances down at her feet when she catches me staring. I'm not very embarrassed at all; it's natural to stare isn't it? I'm concerned.

"We'll go. Dahyun needs rest and I shouldn't stay too long." Jeongyeon shoves her hand into her pocket, shuffling around a couple of times before nodding at me.

Dahyun is still shaken up, only allowing the two youngest (and Jihyo) around her for a while. Sana offers to get her water, and she tries making sure Dahyun is comfortable, but Dahyun continuously refuses.

Even though I'm not as close with Dahyun as I am with Momo or Jihyo, I'm still upset and worried about her. But if she doesn't want anyone close, then I won't try and get close to her right now. I take a deep breath and then sigh.

It's somehow even quieter tonight.


	5. breathe

KIM DAHYUN'S P.O.V.  
****  
Sweat sticking to cold skin and hands that won't stop shaking accompanied by labored breathing and a pounding heart. The air is too hot and it's definitely late. It's quiet; it should be considering everyone is asleep.

Jihyo told me that I had an anxiety attack, but I've never experienced anything like it. Only people with anxiety experience those, right? I don't have anxiety. And that man did nothing wrong. But the hallway was very small for such a large building and it was too loud and I couldn't breathe. It's normal to feel nervous occasionally isn't it?

And Sana is a very sweet girl. She tried checking on me at least seven times. I didn't mean to be so dismissive and rude, but I couldn't handle too many people at once, and I'm closer to Chaeyoung than anyone else right now. Tzuyu is near my age, and she's gentle, and Jihyo is someone who has been nice even though she isn't like us. Sana was too eager to take care of me.

Even my brain seems to be failing now; I can't even come up with the correct word. Eager is an understatement, and even though Sana has been nice so far, I'd rather have Chaeng, Jihyo, and Tzuyu taking care of me. Or really I would prefer taking care of myself because I'm not a broken doll.

I try shifting in the bed again to no avail. Burying my face into my pillow, I groan in frustration. It shouldn't be so hard for someone so tired to sleep. Or maybe I'm wrong because I must actually be broken. I freeze when I hear the sound of sheets rustling above me, and then a small sound.

"Dahyunnie?" Chaeyoung's voice rings through my ears, soft, raspy, and clear. I swallow, roll over, and look up even though I can't see her.

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay? You've been moving around all night." I let a breath out that I didn't know I was holding as I try pushing the blanket even further away from me.

"I'm fine," I glance over at Tzuyu's clock and nearly groan once again when I realize it's still too early to get up. "I didn't wake you, did I?"

"A couple of times," Chaeyoung laughs softly. "But it's okay. You can't sleep, can you?"

"Not really,"

"Is it because of earlier?" Chaeyoung sits up (I can tell by the way she squeaks just slightly and the sheets rustle again) abruptly. "You can sleep with me if you want."

"No, no. You're younger than me, so it wouldn't be right for you to take care of me," I decide to sit up as well rather than lying mindlessly.

"I don't really care if it'll seem strange, you know. Jihyo takes care of everyone and half of us are older than she is." I stay silent for a couple of seconds because I'm not very sure how to respond. She's offering, but it still feels strange.

After a long minute, I finally breathe again, "Okay."

"Do you want me to come down?"

"No, that's okay. You're already doing enough," I stand up and adjust my shirt that's ridden up a bit before climbing up to Chaeyoung. "This is embarrassing."

"You're fine!" Chaeyoung reassures me, scooting over so that I can lie beside her. "Besides so far you've been the only one to really hang out with me, so this is the least I can do. Have you slept with anyone else before?"

"Sometimes when my cousin would stay over with me. My mom always told me to make sure I never told her I was a Zodiac, but I was only seven and I didn't really understand," I make a bold decision and turn to face Chaeyoung, her warm breath on my lips. Surely she could tell that my face is red, but the lights are off and it's too dark to even see her. "Why are you doing this again?"

"When I was little, I would sleep with my little brother or my mom when I had nightmares. It always helped. We don't even have to talk about why you can't sleep if you don't want to," Chaeyoung chuckles. I reach for her hand under the sheets and even though I'm sharing a bed with someone buried under two blankets, it suddenly isn't so hot, and my heart is no longer pounding. "I know that you'd rather sleep with Sana though."

"Sana? No," I bite my lip. "I don't even know her."

"You could." Chaeyoung mumbles, shifting so that I have more room. I don't really need the extra room, but I keep my mouth shut and close my eyes. Sleeping in is the only choice tonight.

Yelling isn't the best thing to wake up to.

When I sit up, I notice Chaeyoung changing into a longer shirt beside of Tzuyu's bed. Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I climb off of Chaeyoung's bed. As I'm tying my hair up, she peeks out of the door, only turning back to me after she takes a minute or two.

"What's going on?" I yawn, lifting my arms above my head.

"Jeongyeon is angry again." Chaeyoung sighs as she slips on her socks.

"Isn't she always angry?"

"Mostly. Come on, we should go see what's up." I follow her lead, flinching when the yelling gets louder. When we reach the living room, there's a taller girl in the center, frowning as Jeongyeon speaks to Jihyo. Nayeon grabs Jeongyeon's hand in what I'm assuming is a way to reprimand her, and it works, Jeongyeon's hands shaking.

"Good afternoon," Jihyo breathes, hesitantly glancing at Jeongyeon. "This is Somi, and she's here for a reason that I'll explain soon."

I wave at Somi, and she waves back, a small smile taking place on her lips, "Hi. Jihyo, would you mind if I told them now? It would be easier, wouldn't it?"

"If you believe it's best."

"Jinyoung shouldn't mind," Somi redirects her gaze to Momo. "I'm a trainer for Jinyoung, and I'm here to collect a couple of you girls for a session. I'll explain on the way there."

"Take me with Momo instead." Jeongyeon stares directly at Somi, cold and hard.

"I can't," she sighs softly. "It's the best option, I know, but Jinyoung needs Momo and Dahyun today."

Me? Why do I have to go? I'm nothing special, so there's no need to take me to a trainer. I know why this place has trainers, of course I do, but surely it won't happen to me. There's no reason for it to happen, and there will never be.

"Jinyoung can kiss my ass, I need to protect her." Jeongyeon takes a step forward, but can't travel too close to Somi because Jihyo steps in front of her.

"I'm sorry, Jeongyeon."

"Don't lie to me, and don't touch her."

It takes a while for Jeongyeon to calm down enough for us to leave and for Jackson, a guard who we've all become familiar with, comes to guide Momo, Somi, and me to JYPE. It's not as rainy today, thankfully, but something doesn't feel right. Once we arrive, Jackson informs Jinyoung of our arrival as Somi leads us into the elevator, pressing a button with the letter 'T' on it.

Momo clears her throat suddenly, "Why take two Zodiacs with you along in such a small space? Aren't you afraid we'll hurt you?"

"I'm a Pisces, my dear," Somi laughs. "And where I've lived with Jinyoung for so long, I've already matured completely where as you two haven't. I'm going to teach all of you eventually, but Jinyoung requested you two first."

"Why me?" Momo makes a face and I almost subconsciously reach for her hand out of habit and the need to feel secure.

"There were many reports that you were aggressive the first day," Somi cringes. "Though you definitely don't seem aggressive, so I'm sorry for stereotyping you."

"It's okay. I'm used to it," Momo scoffs. "What about Dahyun? If we're using aggression as an excuse, why didn't he want Jeongyeon?"

"Dahyun needs to learn how to handle things calmly. Jeongyeon does too, even I can see that, but she'll come with Nayeon on Friday. You and Jeongyeon together won't make an amazing combination even though you're both water signs and you both are comfortable with each other." Somi takes a deep breath.

I need to learn how to handle things? I'm not one for pessimism, but there's absolutely nothing here to worry about. As far as I'm concerned, I can get through whatever they want me to do and then I can leave. Maybe. This place isn't home right now.

The elevator finally opens to reveal a large room with wooden floors and different equipment ranging from super advanced technology to simple workout machines. It looks foreign, and yet I feel alright in here. Somi points to a large chair with about a million wires hanging from both above it and connecting it to a monitor. The monitor beeps three times as Somi scans her thumb, her index and middle finger going inside of what looks like a tube. When she removes them, one finger is printed with a light blue colour and the other has a soft gray. She holds out her hand to Momo and asks her to place her wrist in it. Surprisingly, Momo complies and Somi places the finger with blue on it on her mark. When Momo hisses, Somi releases her with an apologetic smile.

She asks for mine next, and though I'm hesitant, I want to get whatever this is over with. Her finger is cold, pulsing against the mark. Suddenly the mark lights up, a gray light tracing over the Gemini symbol. There's a heavy feeling in my veins and lungs suddenly and I think I could be choking, but surely they wouldn't try and kill me, right? When I try breathing, a sharp pain shoots up my arm and I can't help but cry out, and I feel like I'm no longer grounded. Somi lets go quickly, and I clutch at my arm, ignoring the tears that attempt to cloud my vision.

"What did you do?" I turn my hand over to lightly touch the mark. It isn't sore like I expected it to be.

"Nothing dangerous, I promise. Or it won't be as long as you don't try and run away from JYPE," Somi scratches the back of her head before typing quickly into the computer. "Momo, you're older than Dahyun, aren't you?"

"You're not planning to hurt me again, are you?"

"No, no. I have to take a sample of your blood and track your energy levels to make sure nothing will happen too soon. This is all natural."

"Honestly?" Momo groans as Somi guides her into the seat. "The energy levels and shit are fine, but the whole blood thing? Screw that."

I laugh and Momo smiles at me, gripping onto the arm chair lightly as Somi places white patches on Momo's exposed skin. She lifts her shirt up when Somi asks, and I force myself to look away even though it's not very lewd at all. Momo is still another woman and it's not right for me to look at her that way. Momo laughs and I assume it's alright to look up again, my cheeks surely red.

"It's just a stomach, Dahyun." I cough at her words, shaking my head. I decide that staring at Somi's computer would be better for now even though I can't understand any of the numbers or lines on the screen. The monitor continues to beep, occasionally pausing. Somi makes a sound when a line on the screen jumps.

"Thank you for trusting me, Momo. Dahyun, you're next, and then we'll just go through a couple of movements that will relax your mind," Somi rolls her eyes. "That's way too cheesy. They're easy though, alright?"

The machine isn't bad at all with only a couple of light shocks here and there. Momo occupies herself with the many shelves near the wall of the room filled with what I think are books.

Afterwards, Somi asks us to go to the center of the room as she begins printing off what she's taken note of, "You two should already know your element. If not, Momo is a water sign and you are an air sign. We won't do a lot of work today. In fact after I teach you how to relax more deeply, I'll ask Jackson to take you back to your home."

I stiffen; this place is far from home. 

The procedure is easy even though Momo and I have different positions. I'm sitting with my legs crossed, my elbows resting on my thighs. Somi directs me to close my eyes and just breathe. The directions for Momo are different: she has to try and keep her balance on one leg all while thinking about something other than the balance itself. In all honesty, I don't believe I could do it; there's too much to think about right now. 

"You're both doing well, but Dahyun you need to stop thinking," Somi's hand presses against my back gently, her voice low in my ear. "I understand you. It's alright to let go, I promise."

Somi makes me believe I can trust her.

She lets us go wherever we want in the building rather than Jackson taking us back right away (Momo's request surprisingly). There's a lot of rooms and floors in JYPE, so I don't blame Momo for constantly getting lost. She refuses to ask for help, too, and for some reason I'm too afraid I could mess up if I ask. 

We pass by the garden room, and then the gym, and the pool, and now Momo looks like she's contemplating walking into a room with a closed door. It doesn't say anything on the door, so it makes me all the more curious and just a bit afraid. The last thing I want to do is break a rule. But still, Momo pushes the door open and we're greeted with pretty plants and stray butterflies. They're beautiful with their blue wings and how graceful they fly.

"Holy shit," Momo breathes, looking around the room. "This place has everything, huh?"

"They're Morpho butterflies," I point out as I close the door behind me. The room is surprisingly the perfect temperature, so I shrug off my jacket. "They're not native."

"So that Jinyoung guy kidnaps butterflies too?" Momo jokes, running her fingers along a pretty green leaf. I laugh, shaking my head.

"Maybe."

There's a dark coloured stone path in the middle of the room rather than the entire room being covered in a material other than soil. It has me questioning how they made a room like this because it looks too natural. Following down the path, Momo's eyes widen when she spots a pond filled with Koi fish of all different colours and patterns.

"These symbolize good fortune," she tells me, bending down next to the water. She reaches out, just barely touching the water.

"So do the butterflies. What do you think this means for us?" It's mostly a joke, but Momo seems to take it seriously.

"Maybe JYPE won't be so bad and we can be happy." A small noise in the back of my throat escapes and I nod. I don't really know Momo that well just yet (other than the few conversations we had prior to today), but for an unknown reason, my heart agrees with her. My mind will most definitely be angry, but right now I don't care too much. "Do you see those white fish?" 

I nod, and Momo continues, "It's a Kumonryu. It symbolizes life transformations," she pauses again, smiling when she spots another Koi she must like. "And those are my favourite. That one is a Kuchibeni. I didn't know what they symbolized until I was like thirteen. Minari told me."

"What does it mean?" I lean forward, hesitantly touching the water. It's cool, but perfect just like the room.

"Love to put it simply." I chew on my lip. Another joke should be alright.

"Are you showing me it because you have a crush on me? That's kind of embarrassing."

"Whatever," Momo laughs and I feel comfortable with her. When her laughter dies down, she dips her finger into the water again, a smile lighting up the dark room. "Maybe eventually."


	6. drip

PARK JIHYO'S P.O.V.  
****  
Jinyoung is silent, eyebrows furrowed and eyes squinted as he skims across the screen. He nods suddenly, a small smile finally coming onto place on his lips. I lean over the desk, scanning over the information.

"This is good, then?" I question, my eyes stopping under Momo's name.

"It allows us to know that she won't do something she'll regret," Jinyoung confirms. "None of the eight young women at your home are mature yet, therefore these tests were required. I chose Momo because of the reports that she was aggressive, and you told me that Kim Dahyun had an anxiety attack. She is good at controlling certain emotions I've noticed, but she lacks stability."

"If you were using aggression as an excuse to test them, why didn't you schedule Jeongyeon first?" I walk over to Jinyoung's coffee pot, pouring myself another mug.

"Jeongyeon can't be trusted alone with Somi. Especially not with Momo because Jeongyeon will see everything as a threat." She already does.

"So she's coming with me?" I flinch at both the idea and the hot, bitter liquid.

"I trust you, so yes. We could get Nayeon to go as well since my plan is to split them all into groups of two. She trusts you, doesn't she?" Jinyoung's fingers rest on the keyboard, ready to type away. I clear my throat and set the mug down.

"She seems to." Translation: yes she does. And I'm happy about that. I trust that Jinyoung won't use this information poorly.

"It's settled then."

"You know best," I reply. "Is that all you needed for today?"

"In honesty, no. But you have eight women to tend to, don't you?" My eyes widen slightly, and suddenly all I can do is beg and pray that they haven't trashed the dorm or somehow escaped. I usher out an apology and swear under my breath as I dial Jackson's number down the elevator. He's fast to respond, meeting me outside of the first floor in one of the company's vans. He understands because he's been through the same situation as me. I'm just hoping that it won't end like his did (his group threw his clothes out the window and then proceeded to spray paint his walls and bed. The images were... obscene to say the least). 

I thank Jackson before jogging up the stairs and into the building where the dorm is. As I open the door, I sigh in relief though no one is anywhere to be found. I bite my inner lip and silently pray once more. It's my own fault for not thinking this through, even if Jinyoung needed me urgently.

It's silent for a couple of seconds before Sana darts out from the hallway, Jeongyeon on her heels sprouting newly blue hair. She swears multiple times, in both Japanese (if it's the same she should be) and Korean and I can only rub my face.

"I leave you alone for an hour," I interrupt as Jeongyeon grabs onto Sana. Sana freezes up and Jeongyeon smirks. "Sana, did you do this?"

"Do what?" Sana laughs, but it's guilty.

"You know what."

"Maybe," she smiles again, wriggling out of Jeongyeon's grasp. "She looks cute, doesn't she?"

"Fuck off," Jeongyeon rolls her eyes. "That's fine. Chaeyoung and I are gonna kick your ass later."

"Chaeyoung is barely tall enough to make a person!" Sana argues. I almost laugh.

"Have you seen her muscles though? That fucking girl is literally ripped-"

"You two can argue later. How long should it stay?" I walk closer to Sana and she bites her lip.

"Uh, I don't know. I didn't really check for anything like that."

"For Christ's sake," I groan. "You two are children!"

"Older than you," Jeongyeon corrects, leaning over the couch. "So you should have some respect, huh?"

"Could you please stop being so obnoxious?"

"Only if you tell me the truth and stop lying to all of us." she straightens up abruptly, turning on her heels and heading back down the hallway. I slump down onto the couch, running a hand through my hair. Sana joins me, crossing her legs.

"I'm sorry, Jihyo."

"It's fine," I shift to face Sana. "Hair dye isn't terrible."

"I didn't mean that," she laughs. "I'm so not sorry about that. I meant for the way Jeongyeon treats you."

"That's natural," 

"Doesn't mean it's right! I wish she'd stop being so mean," I nod absentmindedly. "How was your... Job?"

"I don't necessarily work for him," maybe I do, but still. "It was normal though. Has everyone else behaved?"

"Yep! Especially Tzuyu and Mina. They never really do anything bad."

Later, Jeongyeon complains a lot, both about the hair dye and not being able to get rid of it without killing her hair, and also about how Momo didn't warn her how late she'd be coming back. Which I would be complaining too if my younger sister stayed out too late without any word whatsoever, but at least Momo came back. I can't blame Jeongyeon much at all.

Nayeon is lying back on her bed, holding her phone (it's the company's gift to her) and making faces every now and then. She laughs once or twice, so I smile once or twice.

What will happen in the future is imminent and there's no way that anyone can stop it. It's upsetting in a way because anyone could mess up. Typically Zodiacs don't know how to comprehend this new information when it does happen, and they become depressed or anxiety ridden.

Nayeon is happy now, and I'm afraid that she'll become upset. Dahyun already seems to have anxiety, but I can't just diagnose her because of one anxiety attack. Either way, I'm still dreading her reaction.

Jinyoung made a poor choice Dahyun wise when it came to the first training session. She should have went with another air sign and later on. Though I understand his reasoning.

It's silent again. Nayeon smiles once more and I finally give in, "You're smiley today."

"Am I?" Nayeon shifts and turns so that she can face me in her bed. "How could I not be? Jeongyeon is really rocking that blue hair."

"Is that the only reason?"

"No, but it's the best," she laughs and my heart does a small flip. "Tzuyu showed me some dog videos earlier and they were really cute, too. I've been switching between baby videos and dog videos since."

"Tzuyu talked to you?" My eyes widen slightly; Tzuyu has barely even talked to me.

"Not a lot, but I think she was lonely. I mean, she hasn't talked to anyone but Chaeyoung, Sana, and Dahyun, and Chaeyoung is busy going with Dahyun to JYPE. Apparently Sana was busy helping Jeong dye her hair."

"Should I talk to her?"

"If you think you can," Nayeon sits up suddenly. "She's hard to read."

"I'll try when she's ready," forcing myself onto anyone is definitely not something I want to do. "How are you?"

"I'm okay," Nayeon bites her lip when she hears footsteps. "I'm thinking."

"Of?"

"A lot."

"That's vague," I point out. Nayeon shrugs.

"Well my thoughts are vague."

"You sound like Jeongyeon." I make a face.

"Funny. She said that I sounded like you," Nayeon pats an empty spot on her bed. "Come here please," I do as I'm requested, settling next to Nayeon. She lights up, grabbing my arm and leaning closer to me. "It was kinda lonely while you were gone."

"I was only gone for an hour,"

"And? I don't really know anyone else but you and Jeongyeon," she pauses. "And Momo, but she's mostly been either locked in her room or talking to Dahyun. I didn't wanna bother her. I'm not bothering you, right? Because I can leave you alone and you can go back to whatever you were-"

"It's fine, Nayeon. Do you want to talk?" I question, carefully guiding Nayeon back with me until I'm comfortable.

"All the time."

"Have at it then."

"Is it okay to talk to you about what I'm feeling?" I almost laugh when her finger graze across my side. I hum a quiet yes, and she continues. "When I was kicked out," she cringes. "Even though I was old enough to understand, I still didn't. This place is weird, but it's the most comfort I've had in years. And you're really comforting, you know?"

"I didn't know, but I hoped." I add. Nayeon leans until she's hovering over me with a roll of her eyes.

"Rhetorical," I smile again. How could I not? "But I'm not sure how to, um, like, fuck. This is hard."

"Here pretty soon you and Jeongyeon will have the youngest swearing like crazy. Take your time, I'm not leaving." Nayeon freezes up and I nearly go into panic mode.

"Yeah. Leaving," She laughs softly. "Don't mind me, actually. Ranting probably won't even help-"

"I offered to listen, which means I am willing to hear your thoughts. But if you really don't want to talk, then that's alright."

"You make things harder."

"Harder?" I raise an eyebrow. "Is there anything that I can do to be better, or-"

"No. Not like that. You're amazing," she bites her lip, glancing away from me. "That's the issue. What is the difference between infatuation and actually having feelings for them?"

"You have feelings for someone?" My heart drops slightly, and I feel disappointed. Of course, I don't like Nayeon like that, but still. It's too soon, isn't it?

"Maybe. But Chaeyoung was talking about being infatuated and I don't really understand how to comprehend what I feel. It's weird, right?" 

"No," I tell her, and I'm sincere. "Feelings are okay. What do you feel when you're with this person?"

"I haven't known her long," so I can cross Jackson out of the list of possibilities. It's a joke, but I doubt he'd take it as one. "But my stomach feels weird when I talk to her. And my heart flips sometimes, I think. I always think that I want to give her the world, or something, but I'm just a girl."

"That's cute," I comment. Nayeon makes a face as if she's offended. "Not bad cute, I promise. I say that you should just let your feelings figure it out." she nods, lying back down, and I have to force steady breaths.

It's late, then.

I don't remember falling asleep, but when I wake up, Nayeon is no longer beside me. My mind immediately begins to panic, but the logical side of me tells me that more than likely she's just in the bathroom.

I force myself up, rubbing my eyes once or twice, and then I head into the hallway. It's dark with only two lights being on. The kitchen doesn't have anyone in it, but there's a note on the counter, reading that there's food saved in the microwave. I can't help but smile as I read, happy that someone remembered me (probably Nayeon). I don't have an appetite, however.

I turn suddenly when a body comes in contact with mine and then a yell I'm sure came from the living room.

"Relax," Jeongyeon chuckles. "I just wanted some water."

"God, you complete idiot! You just sent me into cardiac arrest!"

"No, that was probably Chaeng. She's playing video games with Mina," Jeongyeon snatches a water bottle, opening it quickly and then taking two sips. "Surely just barely touching you didn't scare you out of your pants."

"Combined with the yelling? Of course it did," I stop suddenly when I realize that Jeongyeon is actually making normal conversation with me. "You're talking to me."

"Yeah? I have a mouth, and I know words."

"I mean that you're not being insufferable." Jeongyeon looks up before nodding, her hands wrapped around the water bottle tight.

"That's what you think of me? Should I be upset?" I shake my head, and she smirks. "I actually don't care what you think of me. As you already know, I only care about Momo, and the girls that I grew up with. And maybe Nayeon."

"I know. It's good that you care about Nayeon,"

"And I know that."

"Why are you being nice?" I lean against the counter as Jeongyeon takes another drink.

"This is nice? You don't talk to a lot of people." She says, looking me over once.

"I have to talk to tons of people daily. What time is it?"

"There's a clock right there." insufferable.

It's about eleven o'clock, so I'm surprised that Mina and Chaeyoung are still up. Typically everyone goes to bed an hour earlier. I leave Jeongyeon to check on the two in the living room, flinching when Chaeyoung swears harshly. A body on the screen falls violently, blood splattering, and it's a bit disturbing to say the least.

"Your game is so stupid." Chaeyoung says. Mina pauses it abruptly, turning to Chaeyoung.

"You didn't have to play," 

"I wanted to!"

"And now you're complaining?" Mina laughs as Chaeyoung grabs a pillow to throw at her. 

"Shouldn't you two be in bed?" I speak up when Mina goes to attack Chaeyoung with a pillow of her own.

"We have a bedtime?" Chaeyoung's eyes widen. I laugh and wave my hand.

"No, but you're usually in bed early."

"Oh. Minari got bored playing alone, so she asked me to play with her. Why are you up?"

"I may have taken a nap that ended up being more than a nap." I reply, scratching the back of my neck. Chaeyoung smiles and stands up, running a hand through her hair. 

"Maybe I should take a nap now. Goodnight, Minari," she stops when she reaches the edge of the hallway. "You too, Jihyo."

It's quiet for a few long moments before I decide to interrupt it, "You like video games?"

"I do. I'm happy that you have a PlayStation," Mina places her controller on the table, turning around so that she can face me. "And I also want to thank you for being kind and understanding these past few days. I didn't expect it."

"Not many did. But I try my best." I sit down next to her, legs crossed and my fingers interlaced. "Do you like Korea?"

"It's as pretty as Jeongyeon said it would be," Mina looks down, something flashing across her features. "It isn't home though."

"Hopefully you won't be here forever," I finish, but quickly realize how it could be taken. "Not that I want you to leave! I love having all of you here."

"I understand. Even Jeong?" she looks up, laughing when I pause.

"Even Jeongyeon. Her presence absolutely makes my day." It's only half sarcasm. I love how annoyingly frustrating Jeongyeon can be, even if it's too much sometimes. She'll come around. They always do.

"She has that effect on people. You know that she isn't as bad as she lets on, right?"

"Of course I do."

"You're not angry with her?"

"Angry? No. Frustrated? Yes. But it's natural, isn't it? She misses being with her family." Mina glances down again, playing with her own fingers.

"I do, too," her voice quivers, but it's barely noticeable. "How long do we have to stay?"

"I can't answer that," I frown, reaching over to carefully run my fingers along her knuckles. "We could schedule a visit for your parents, if you want?"

"No, no. That's fine. They're usually busy anyway." 

"I'm sure that they would love to see you." I reply. I ignore the warm skin under my hand, seemingly heating up every second. 

"Not really. My brother liked hanging out with me. My parents did as well, but they never had the time. So I don't think calling them would do any good," I flinch away when a sharp, quick pain burns the palm of my hand. "Oh! Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I rub my hand, but proceed to ignore it. "Are you?"

"I will be."

"Talk to me if you need to," I stand up, stuffing my hand into my pocket. "You should rest."

Mina stands up next, her hand resting on the arm of the chair. Suddenly, almost too quickly, she jerks away when the chair begins to smoke, a subtle flame sparking from the fabric. It takes me just three seconds to realize what's going on, my eyes going wide and my heart racing. She'll be fine, I promise myself, as I dial Jinyoung's number.


	7. cut

MYOUI MINA'S P.O.V.  
****  
Restless.

For once in my life, I am restless. Loneliness is natural for me, only ever leaving when Jeongyeon promises to visit me in the basement at night or when Sana will hold my hand and praise me for doing well. I'm never sure what I'm doing well though.

Loneliness left when Momo used to kiss my cheek or hold me when I had nightmares. She doesn't do a lot now, so I'm lucky to even get a glance. Of course I'm not blaming her, and I'm not mad at her. She's had the hardest time out of Sana, Jeongyeon, and me.

Jeongyeon handles things well most of the time, and she's quick to adapt to change. But since Momo has been nervous, it's affected Jeong. Sana is uneasy as well, but she is a natural leader. Even though she isn't the oldest, she still takes on the same persona.

I shift in the chair I'm sitting in. Jihyo glances over at me, an expression that resembles worried spread across her features, "Are you alright?"

"Of course I am." I smile as kindly as I can. But Jihyo is too good at seeing through people.

"No, you're not," Jihyo swallows. "If you lie, it gets worse. Are you worried about Jinyoung seeing you?"

"Kind of. But I'm more afraid of accidentally hurting someone," I bite my cheek. "It's happened, hasn't it?"

"Yes, but you're at a company specifically trained to teach you how to control it. In all honesty, I'm surprised that you matured first. I always expected Jeongyeon to be the first considering she never can control her anger." Jihyo reaches over, touching my hand. I almost flinch away in fear that I'll burn her again, but she gives me a gentle, knowing look. "Don't be afraid to allow someone to touch you, please. You won't hurt them and you're not a bad person."

JYPE feels stranger than usual.

I make a low noise in the back of my throat as Jackson leads me through a set of clear doors after we get off of the elevator. My heart continues to pound and my hands never stop shaking. Times like this I wish Momo was with me.

A girl I recognise as Somi greets me and then dismisses Jackson. My nerves get the best of me and I find myself tongue tied.

"Myoui Mina," Somi mumbles as she turns her back to me, fingers moving quickly across the keyboard. "You're the only fire sign under Jihyo's protection?" I nod, too afraid that I'll mess up my words. She taps a red liquid onto her finger before pressing it against the dull glow of my mark. It's alright at first, though a foreign feeling, seemingly lighting my entire body on fire. It burns me suddenly, and I flinch away with a small apology.

"I should actually be the one to apologise," Somi wipes the liquid off of her finger. "It's a mandatory procedure however. No reason to explain." She finishes her sentence just as the elevator doors slide open to reveal Park Jinyoung. My veins that were once on fire suddenly turn cold, and my heart rate slows down.

"Good morning, Mina. I'll get to the point for the sake of all of us," his voice is loud and clear in my ears. He stops in front of me, eyes serious. "You've matured early. And totally unpredictable," he chuckles, "Which is actually very predictable because you are a fire sign. You'll be attending weekly sessions more often with me observing and Jackson helping you since he is a fire sign as well."

"Jackson is a Zodiac?" I finally find a few words to communicate with Jinyoung.

"Nearly all of my employees are," Jinyoung pauses, glancing over at Somi. "Disregarding Jihyo. Is that all you're confused about?"

"No," I pause before deciding that keeping my fears in my head is better. Jihyo would definitely disagree, but she isn't here right now. "But I'm fine."

"Excellent. I'm an air sign, and Somi is a water sign. Somi isn't the best to mentor you, and I'm not the absolute best choice, but I'm more suitable. Jackson will be able to come closer to Thursday if that's alright."

"I just don't want to hurt anyone." I tell him honestly. He nods, and the coldness in my body soon leaves.

It isn't long before he's asking me to stop thinking, but it doesn't do anything. Jinyoung seems to realize, so he exhales heavily, hands resting on my shoulders. His voice is surprisingly soft in my ear, "Think."

I'm not sure what to think of, but I find that I don't have to think too hard. My thoughts drift to my family and Ray, and Momo, Jeongyeon, and Sana. It hurts my heart and my chest feels heavy as I focus on my parents. Though they tried, sometimes I think that they didn't try hard enough. They're powerful enough to get whatever time they want to themselves. Was I never good enough for their time? Or was it their fear that I would hurt them?

The thought saddens me, but at the same time I feel better. It's contradicting and confusing, but it doesn't take much at all until my wrist pulses and I feel heat near my fingertips. I open my eyes and Jinyoung smiles, "Good. Focus on keeping that flame right on your fingertips. Don't let it travel and don't let it die." It's hard to try and keep a flame steady when you have no idea how to.

It dies out softly and I almost swear (no doubt Jeongyeon's influence), "It's harder than you make it sound." He shakes his head and Somi chuckles.

"It will get easier," she speaks up. "Jinyoung, do you think that you could try and keep it steady until she can comprehend how to make it stay?"

"Perhaps. Mina, please," I shut my eyes and think hard, the fire barely burning my fingers. It's too strange to be able to feel the flame itself. Jinyoung waves his hand once, moving on to flick the mark on his wrist. I feel a gentle breeze against the flame, but it's not aggressive enough to put it out. "I know you feel it because your fingers are twitching. Focus on that pulsing now." I open my eyes and count. It's something Momo would do aloud when we would dance together. It always helped me and it made everything easier.

The flame sparks up higher suddenly and I flinch away. It dies once again, but Jinyoung and Somi are standing with proud smiles, "You're getting better. But you're still new and because you are new, you will tire out quicker doing smaller tasks. You can choose to stay here or Somi could go ahead and lead you home."

"I'd like to stay, but could you please bring someone," I pause. "Anyone who wants to come here?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes please."

I find the ninth floor quickly, my hand still warm and my mind still clear and wide awake with adrenaline. It's a bit wild how doing something so small with just the slightest of accomplishment can make a couple of my worries go away.

I sit on a stool in the dim room after pouring myself a cup of water. It's quiet and very peaceful up here. But it doesn't last long due to the loud swearing accompanied by threats ringing through the thick door. It opens, hard and uneven, and Jeongyeon trails in with a very confused Somi behind her. Somi apologies profusely, but I shake my head. It's not her fault.

"I'm telling you that if she's hurt I'm going to kick someone's-"

"Jeong, I'm fine," I interrupt. She gasps almost too dramatically before enveloping me into an obnoxious hug. I stiffen due to my prior thoughts of hurting someone, but try pushing it away. "Please stop though, you're killing me."

"I have to annoy you. Are you really alright? They didn't hurt you?"

"I'm alright. Promise," Jeongyeon purses her lips, but connects our pinkies anyway.

"Promise or whatever," I push her shoulder gently and she laughs. "Is it true? You're like the fucking Avatar now?"

"No, but I can kind of make fire with my hands."

"So we're talking Zuko?" Jeongyeon winks, making aggressive hand motions.

"You're such an idiot," I laugh. "Thank you for coming though. I didn't really want to go back to the dorm just yet, but I needed company."

"I expected that you know. God, I had to fight Sana and Momo though. I'm currently thanking God, by the way, that they didn't somehow mature and put me on my ass." Jeongyeon sits down next to me, grabbing my cup of water and taking a couple of long sips.

"It feels so weird,"

"It should. I can't really imagine myself bending fucking water."

"Is it bending?" I smile when Jeongyeon rolls her eyes.

"It's all the same. How are you feeling? Be honest, Minari. I will know if you lie to me because I can read you like a book." I bite my lip.

"I'm still afraid that I'll hurt someone. The last report of a Zodiac hurting someone was so long ago, but I keep thinking that I'll somehow become the next." Jeongyeon doesn't speak, but she does lean over to pull me against her. Her fingers thread into my hair and then she kisses my temple.

"You will be fine. Everything is under control, isn't it? You'll learn more about all of this," she lowers her voice. "Besides, I trust you. Momo and Sana do too, and everyone else knows about this. You won't hurt us."

"Thank you, Jeong," I close my eyes, focusing on her gentle breathing. "Your trust means a lot."

"Yeah? Well you mean a lot to me, so we can be even."

We stay like that for a while. I don't check the time, but three quick, messy knocks pull us apart. My eyes meet with Sana and Momo, and then both of them hug me so tight that I can hardly breathe, "You're not hurt, right?" It's Sana speaking into my ear the best she can.

"I'm okay," I repeat myself when Momo offers her hand to me. I grab onto her pinkie like I used to and there's a slight increase in my heart rate. I missed holding her hand. "Why did you come? Wouldn't you rather rest?"

"We've been resting too long," Sana speaks before Momo does. "And Dahyunnie wanted to hang out with Tzuyu and Chaeyoung."

"So she's your second choice?" Momo asks, but there's humour laced in her words.

"No... Maybe third though." I shake my head and hit Sana's upper arm as gently as I can. "I'm joking! All three of you are my number one."

"Wouldn't one be plural?" Jeongyeon joins in.

"I'm a foreigner!"

As Jeongyeon and Sana erupt into a mess of arguing and teasing, Momo bends down closer to my ear, her warm breath tickling the shell of my ear, "I've missed you."

"You're not afraid of me?"

"Not at all," Momo smiles and there's a familiar twisting feeling in my stomach. "Even with some sick ass fire powers, you're still my Minari. That kind of made me sick. Too cheesy, I've been hanging around Sana too much."

"Right," I chuckle as Momo leans against my shoulder. "You like being a Zodiac?"

"I don't think anyone does. The whole element control shit is kind of cool, but it's not worth it if you hurt people. I trust that you won't you know. You're too nice to do anything like that."

"Accidents can happen." I point out. I feel Momo scowl against my neck.

"Well you'll learn how to control it before another one happens. I'm still going to touch you whenever I want because I love you and trust you. You won't hurt me." Momo kisses my neck once and then it's empty.

I stare up at the ceiling, swallowing hard. It's easy to confuse reality with some fantasy. Being able to control an element is something out of fantasy world. So is loving Momo, but they're both real and I can't escape it.

I feel guilty, and despite being able to create a flame upon the tips of my fingers, I feel cold.


	8. warmth

YOO JEONGYEON'S P.O.V.  
****  
Messy.

Everything is messy.

Too messy, and I can't wrap my head around anything.

Mina shouldn't have matured so early. Is it early? This place is too professional and... Weird. It's weird. No man is that rich. No man cares about Zodiacs. I don't care if he is one. He's free isn't he? He has all he needs, so why does he care about us?

Why does Jihyo care? Or perhaps it's all a facade, and I have every right to be cautious. As long as Momo, Mina, and Sana are alright, I don't care to sacrifice myself.

Nayeon, too.

And maybe Dahyun, Chaeyoung, and Tzuyu. But Jihyo? I don't give a fuck about her. She isn't like us. She doesn't know what we go through everyday. She has never experienced it. She believes that she can earn my trust and suddenly I'll be the most compliant slave in the world, but I'm nothing like that. She's done nothing to prove herself to me.

Mina says that Jihyo is alright. And Nayeon does too. Sana has said a few nice words about her. Even Momo, and I cannot stand it. It's infuriating that they believe her.

I dip my hand into the water, barely flinching at it splashing my face. The Koi are timid, and it makes me feel guilty. I wipe my hand on my (Momo's) shirt, promising myself to do our laundry later.

How did Mina mature? The thought stays stuck in my mind. Today I went to see Jinyoung and Somi. Nayeon and Jihyo came too. Somehow Nayeon was calmer than me when Somi presses into her mark with a green colour. Mine was blue, and it's supposed to be a calm colour, but the pain that struck through every part of my body sure as hell wasn't calm. It was natural for me to be angry.

But they didn't show me how to mature. If Mina can mature by herself, then I should be able to. And since Jihyo isn't a Zodiac, she can't do shit when I try to leave. Even the guards outside can't do anything.

I scoff when nothing happens. I try touching around my mark. Nothing. Finally, I groan and splash the water roughly, silently relieved that the fish had wandered to the left of the pond.

"Bullshit."

"I've done nothing yet," Sana's voice snaps me out of my head. I feel her sit next to me, a soft gasp escaping her lips. I roll my eyes.

"Not you for once."

"So what is it?" Her hand grazes over mine. "Get those thoughts out of your head so you don't kill anyone."

"My thoughts mean nothing," I shrug, but hold onto Sana's hand tighter.

"Now that's bullshit," I flinch when her voice raises just slightly. "You still think like that?"

"Of course I do." The fish return back to the right side, and Sana smiles fondly before turning back to me.

"Well stop. I love your thoughts, even if you hate me!"

"You're so stupid. I don't hate you," I lean back, admiring how beautiful the painting on the ceiling is. They're stars, and they're simple, but they remind me of Japan when Momo and I would sneak out of my bedroom to lay out on the roof. "But sometimes you're intolerable."

"Whatever. Just tell me what's on your mind?"

"How it's the dumbest thing that Mina can mature on her own, but I can't. I want to get us out of here." The words are blunt, but effective. Sana looks over at me with wide eyes.

"We can't leave-"

"We could if I were to mature suddenly."

"It's not that simple. The entire vicinity of JYPE is absolutely packed with Zodiacs who have been mature for longer than we will ever be. You're asking for death if you try to leave this place." She sighs slowly.

Maybe that's what I want. But I keep my mouth shut, and focus on the silence.

Are fire signs more powerful? Is that why Mina matured quicker than any of us? No, that's not right. In school I learned that they're equally as powerful with only one Zodiac being more powerful than the others. All Zodiacs mature at different times, but the most powerful matures differently and quickly. Surely to God that isn't any of us though. The world has so many Zodiacs, and we are just eight girls. 

I wonder what was going on through Jinyoung's head when he made Jihyo in charge of us. Mina has some advantage to harm her so that we have a better chance of leaving, but she's too nice to do it. And that wouldn't be good for our reputation. I don't believe I'd ever purposely hurt an innocent human.

Even Jihyo.

But Jinyoung's Zodiac slaves? Definitely. I'd do all I could to get us out of here.

Most of the time I find myself trying to relax into a tub of warm water, just playing around with it to try and feel something at my fingers. Especially when Mina is away to train with Jackson. I can't find it in myself to stop worrying about him hurting Mina, or plaguing Mina with negative thoughts. The thought makes me grip onto the side of the tub tighter, clenching my teeth. It's a small attempt to calm down. 

There's a knock on the door that makes me jump, my free hand rubbing at my jaw, "What?"

"You've been in there for an hour. Are you okay?" Of course it's Jihyo. Her and her stupid, fake concern. I scoff.

"And you care why?"

"Because I don't want you drowning yourself," 

"Why the fuck would I do that?" I force out despite the heavy feeling on my chest. It wouldn't be that simple if I tried.

"Because," Jihyo's voice is muffled against the door. I close my eyes and then sigh once more as I relax deeper into the bubbles. Typically I wouldn't add bubbles into my bath, but Momo suggested it because it helps her calm down. "But really, are you alright?"

"That because? Yeah, it had absolutely no reason following it."

"Do I have to-"

"Come in for Christ's sake. I can't hear you," there's a period of silence before I make myself reassure her. "You can't see anything either, though I'm sure you'd love to." The door cracks open just wide enough for Jihyo to slide in, her cheeks already sporting a light pink colour. I nearly smile, but it's Jihyo.

"I could have waited,"

"Why? I don't wanna talk to you longer than I have to." I respond, closing my eyes again. I hear soft footsteps and then Jihyo's voice rings through my ears.

"You're not drowning yourself, so that's good. It's really hot in here though," I laugh lowly at her words. 

"I'm currently in here, so it should be."

"You still have humour to share? I thought you were angry with me?"

"Humour is easy to use to escape things," I bite my lip when I realize what I've just told her. It's too vulnerable for me, and it has my eyes widening and my heart speeding up. "Not like I need to escape. I'm not afraid. All of you can kiss my ass because one day I'll find a way out, and-"

"You're afraid," Jihyo deadpans, cautiously stepping closer (I can tell by how she walks, all careful and kinda stiff). I'm suddenly very glad that the bubbles are hiding everything, but I wish they'd hide my face as well. Mina always told me that my eyes were a gateway to what I feel. "That's okay, you know."

"You don't know me," I stutter over my words, internally swearing at myself multiple times. It's the first time that Jihyo has had such an effect over me. It's also the first time that she's been completely direct with me, and I nearly want to respect her. Nearly.

"You won't let me," she lowers her voice as she takes a seat next to the tub. I refuse to look up at her, but her fingers suddenly thread through my hair. "Tell me to stop and I will." The words bubble up in my throat, but I can't seem to get them past my lips. I can almost feel her smile as she reaches for a bottle of shampoo that's lying in front of me.

It's cold, a definite contrast to the heat of the bathroom, but Jihyo's hands are soothing and I can feel my shoulders finally beginning to relax. It's foreign to me, and I know that when I remember this after it's all finished, I'll hate myself more. I'm not supposed to be weak. I'm not supposed to be taken care of. I'm not supposed to allow Jihyo close to me.

Jihyo's hands never stray, that I'm thankful for, but she does occasionally mumble things. I can't ever make them out however because she's so quiet. That's a first as well. When she finally does speak clearly, my stomach twists into a knot and there's a warm feeling in my chest. I'm not used to it, "You're very beautiful."

"Oh," It's the first sound I've made since Jihyo started, and the way her fingers jump, I'm sure she's startled. If I know Jihyo though, she's pleased. "You're being nice."

"I've always been," she replies easily. "Or at least I hoped. You're being vulnerable. Thank you."

"I'm never vulner-"

"I know. So just this once please," her voice is next to my ear now, and the heat previously in my chest begins to rise to my cheeks. "You're alright here." I reach behind my head and grab her sleeve (a poor choice to not roll them up, but I'll remember that later), tugging it so that she's closer to me. I'm not thinking very straight, the heat surely affecting my coherent thoughts. I finally look up at her, and my knees feel weak when her eyes never leave mine despite lying down. 

"I don't want to be vulnerable," I mumble, my eyes drifting down towards her lips. I release her wrist to bring my wet hand up to her jaw, cupping it gently. Jihyo smiles slowly, and I can barely think.

"I've got you."

"Please, Jihyo." Her breath is hot against my lips, leaving me anticipating something, anything, but she doesn't move. I've always been like this. I always let my guard down to the people I hate most, and they will always end up using me. But that's what I need, right? I flinch when I feel a tear roll down my cheek, and then my eyes begin to cloud. She wipes the tear away with her thumb, proceeding to lean forward and connect our lips. It's a strange feeling, unlike any other, with careful, shy movements and Jihyo taking the lead. Her hands are colder when one of them reaches out to rest on my neck. She tastes like the ocean, salty (no doubt my tears), and it has me reminiscing. I want to feel more of her, and yet I know I'll regret all of it, so I pull away with a whisper that doesn't even sound like me, "Touch me?"

She pauses against my lips, her eyes opening just enough to look me in the eye, "You're not thinking straight," I don't let her finish, already pressing my lips against hers again. It's sloppier this time, mostly due to my neediness.

I'll definitely hate myself more.

"Never do," I laugh before biting down on her bottom lip. A low sound escapes the back of her throat, and I almost groan at how beautiful it sounds. Beautiful. I need to stop, and yet I can finally feel. "You're not gonna take advantage of me?" It's a dark joke, one that only I would get (with the exception of Sana, Momo, and Mina, but I really don't want to think about them when I'm making out with someone I'm supposed to hate). Jihyo's hand tightens around my throat just enough to make the heat in the pit of my stomach worse. 

"No." She answers, pulling away from me completely. It's uncharacteristic, but I almost whine at the loss of contact. I miss feeling. 

"Why not? I've been mean to you," I breathe. "Use me. I deserve it, don't I?"

"This isn't you. God damn it," Jihyo swears and I recoil. "I'm sorry, Jeongyeon. I shouldn't have done that. Be careful please." She's gone too quick for me to open my mouth to speak again. I bury my face in my hands and groan when I realize what I've done. But I wipe away my remaining tears, and sniffle before I make a complete mess of myself. 

And then I dig my nails into the skin of my thighs, sighing at the feeling. I close my eyes, my throat tight. I screw up too often.


	9. mess

SON CHAEYOUNG'S P.O.V.  
****  
Training sessions are nothing special. I should have predicted that, but the less logical side of me hoped that I would somehow get super cool powers that I can play around with. Not very smart.

Mina has been the talk of the dorm lately, with everyone taking more care of her and admiring her. Some are cautious, like Tzuyu, but that's natural for her.

Tzuyu is a quiet girl, just like Mina. But she's harder to befriend than Mina. Mina was simple and friendly. All it took was me asking to play a game with her and she was already more talkative.

But Tzuyu? She sometimes strays from our room to find Mina. When I'm in the room with her, she barely reacts. Me? I overreact. How could I not? She's absolutely gorgeous, and she's a complete mystery.

My mom always did tell me that I preferred quieter girls.

Jeongyeon is loud however. She's fire. Kind of pretty to look at, but she'll burn the hell out of you. I'll call what I feel for Jeongyeon... infatuation. I admire her strong attitude, and unrelenting spirit. She wants to be free.

I'm still not sure what I feel for Tzuyu. All I know is that I find her intriguing, and if she miraculously asked to kiss me like they always do in movies, I would definitely say yes. Actually if she would just greet me, I think I'd die. Only half joking.

Today is awkward.

Or rather the atmosphere is awkward.

Most of us are crowded where we typically are, the living room, but Jeongyeon is quiet for once. Jihyo is nowhere to be seen, and Nayeon seemingly looks worried. Mina has locked herself away in the room she shares with Sana, Jihyo, and Nayeon (she always does, but it's been more often now for a longer period of time). And then there's Momo and Dahyun, goofing around in the kitchen as Tzuyu takes passing glances at them. 

I twist in the floor, biting on my bottom lip as I try to think of what to say. I won't get anywhere if I don't try talking to her. As I open my mouth, Jeongyeon suddenly swears, a look that I can't decipher spreading across her features as she begins walking down the hallway, her fists clenched. I'm worried, but I know it's best not to bother her. When I look back over at Tzuyu, I catch a glance of Momo following Jeongyeon. It's good that she has her back.

"You're Tzuyu, aren't you?" It's a dumb question that has me automatically wanting to shrink into my hoodie. She hums, nodding, and suddenly I have no clue what I want to say. "We, uh, we share a room."

"Do we? I never noticed." she replies easily, and her voice makes my heart leap. I'm still a teenager somewhere, I'm sure, so it's alright for me to develop a crush. Maybe not because it sounds too young, but still.

"Yeah," I stutter.

"I'm not trying to be rude, but do you need anything? I'm trying to finish my language homework." She cuts me off before I can say anything else, but I don't find it as annoying as I normally would with anyone else.

"Like, for school? Or for those classes for foreigners-"

"Foreigners."

"I could help if you wanted. I'm Korean after all." It's a very bold attempt at getting to know her, but it works nonetheless. 

"I don't necessarily need your help," Tzuyu tells me about halfway through the page. I snap my head up from looking at her handwriting. It's very pretty, almost better than a native's despite the few spelling mistakes and marked out words. "But I do appreciate it. Korean is harder than I thought it would be, even though I've been studying it for years."

"You speak well," I mention, pointing at a sentence. "And you write properly. There's only a few grammar mistakes here. How old were you?"

"When I began to study?" I nod. "My mom wanted me to start early. I'd say that I was about five, but I never had to speak Korean, so I don't think I ever improved."

"Isn't it, like, terrifying to be so far away from your family?" I pause, and then proceed to groan into my hands. "That was crazy dumb to ask. Of course it is." Tzuyu laughs softly, and I find that I can't move my face from my hands because I'm definitely red.

"It's alright," she reassures me, reaching over to rub my knuckles lightly. "If you want, we can take a break. It must be terrible trying to help me."

"No, I'm just dumb," I try joking. "But if you want a break, then okay. It's actually fun helping you."

"That was my not-so-subtle way of hinting that I'd like a small break, so yes." Tzuyu laughs once more. Her work ethic is admirable to put it simply. She stuck around on words that she had trouble pronouncing until she could finally replicate it from my own pronunciation. It makes me believe that she's someone I could follow around and I'd be safe because she knows what she's doing.

Rather than trying to find Jihyo and interrupting her from whatever she's doing, I leave a note on the counter in the kitchen before Tzuyu and I walk to JYPE. It's dangerous, and definitely not logical, but I'm sure we'll be fine. JYPE isn't filled with complete strangers, and from what I know, everyone here is safe and professionally trained. It doesn't take too long at all to arrive, the doors to JYPE opening smoothly. We're greeted with a nice breeze of colder air that contrasts from the (slowly) warming weather outside. I hope that I don't regret wearing a hoodie later on.

Somi is sitting at the front desk of the first floor, flashing us a smile when our eyes meet. She doesn't question the fact that it's just us, without Jackson, thankfully. We're not very sure where we're going, but an idea pops into my head, "Tzuyu, can we go to this one room? It's really cool and pretty, I promise. Jeongyeon told me about it yesterday."

"And you suddenly know where it's at?" She smiles, something lying underneath her words.

"A door with no writing. All the other doors in this building have writing. So you coming?" I ask, already standing near the open elevator. Tzuyu shakes her head before following me. It's only slightly hard to find it, only having to take the elevator twice before we come across it. I'm quick to open the door and hold it open for Tzuyu, but I'm already admiring the pretty butterflies. Dahyun told me about those.

"Wow," Tzuyu gasps when she steps into the room. I close the door, my eyes widening because it's different actually seeing them up close and personal. I involuntarily reach out, a smile spreading across my lips when a butterfly rests on my finger. I'm careful not to move too quickly as I show Tzuyu. "It's so pretty."

"Dahyun said that they're not native," I hum, allowing the butterfly to fly away. It's almost like something out of a movie. "And Momo said something about Koi fish. They should be in a pond following this path." It's quiet, with the sound of pouring water filling the room as we follow the path to the pond. It's fairly dark in the room, but not enough to wear I can't see anything. The pond is filled with many Koi of different colours and patterns, and it makes my soul happy. 

"There's so many," Tzuyu's voice is quiet. I sit down next to the pond, not thinking too clearly about the soil. At least these jeans are dark. "Why would he need a room like this?"

"Decoration," I joke, smiling when Tzuyu rolls her eyes. "I'm not too sure." The Koi swim to me carefully when I dip my hand into the water gently. I nearly jump back when one grazes my fingertips. "Does this mean it likes me?"

"I can never tell if you're joking," she replies. I laugh quietly, taking my hand out and flicking the water in front of me. The fish follow it, and I pause, my expression surely twisting into confusion. Surely they don't believe I have food. "I'm not sure if you know this, but there's about a dozen butterflies on your back right now."

"No way," I pause, moving in an attempt to make some fly away. With my luck, only more join in. "This is so fucking cool."

"Maybe they all like you."

I bite my cheek when a thought comes to mind. It's one that I don't like very much, but it could be the reason behind it. I wave my hand to the left, and the fish move that way, "Wait, wait, holy shit, Tzuyu do you see this?"

"What are you doing?" Her eyes go wide when I move my hand to the right this time. They follow once again, and I feel giddy inside. I bring my hands to my chest, a smile lighting up my features once more. The smile fades when the soil beneath me shifts. 

"Wait, I didn't-" I don't get to finish my sentence because it moves abruptly, startling me. "I didn't just mature-"

"I think you did?" 

"No way. Oh my God," I stand up on shaky legs, my knees practically knocking together. I'm too afraid to move, but if I don't, then I'll be fucked for life. I can't just die in here with some butterflies and fish, and the ground fucking moving for Christ's sake. I try pausing, my breath slowing. There's a heavy pulsing feeling on my wrist, and when I roll up my sleeves, my mark is lighting up.

There's heavy footsteps then, and when I look up, I notice Jinyoung staring with wide eyes, "You're doing it. Chaeyoung, I need you to stop moving. Breathe steadily," I try doing what he says, but my heart lurches and my breath speeds up as my mind begins to cloud. I feel dizzy, not able to focus on anything but the ground still shifting, becoming more violent by the minute. "Goddamn it. Chaeyoung, listen to me!" I shut my eyes tight, doing everything in my power to steady my heartbeat. I can't hear much else, muffled yelling still trying to ring through my ears. 

My eyes open suddenly, and I'm sitting in the training room. It's too bright, and my head hurts, and I feel weak. I bite down hard on my lip, silently swearing. I shift in the chair I'm in, pausing when I feel the wires connecting to patches on my body holding me back.

"Chaeyoung, don't move. You tired yourself out," Jinyoung's voice is loud and serious. I hear typing, and then he continues. "Somi, we're in cycle one again. It's been twenty years, so the pattern should continue like this."

"Gemini, then?" Somi asks. My mind twists in confusion before I realize that it's just me in the room with them.

"Where is Tzuyu?" I recoil at how weak and raspy my voice is.

"The dorm," Jinyoung faces me. "What were you doing before this happened?"

"Was just showing Tzuyu the room," I feel tired, my eyes drifting shut once more. I've never felt so exhausted in my life. "She's not hurt?"

"No. Why were you in that room?" 

"Can't remember," my words slur together. 

"She needs rest. I'll get Jackson to transport her. Keep an eye on Dahyun for me. You're still connected, aren't you?" Jinyoung's voice is muffled. I internally groan at myself, doing my best to just wake up.

"Yes. Should I schedule an appointment tomorrow?"

"Let her rest." 

The next time I wake up, I'm on the couch in the living room of the dorm. It's quiet, and my muscles are still weak, but I can sit up at least. I don't trust myself to move too much, too afraid that I'll screw up once more. Is it normal to feel like this after exhausting yourself? I'll have to ask Jackson sometime.

I squint at the clock on the wall next to me, barely able to make out the numbers, "It's twelve in the morning." Jihyo interrupts me, gently sitting down next to me. I sigh softly, reaching for her hand for an unknown reason. Perhaps I need to feel comfort right now. Or maybe I'm still too tired to think straight.

"I've been out that long?"

"Exhausting yourself will usually do that. You'll fall asleep here again soon," she whispers, running her thumb over my knuckles. "Please do not sneak out again. That note can't guarantee your safety."

"I'm a hazard to myself, Jihyo. Nothing can guarantee my safety," I chuckle, flinching when a sharp pain shoots throughout my body. "God, this shit sucks."

"Ah, the swears," she shakes her head, and I can't help but to lean over on her. It's not too bad; Jihyo has only been nice to us since we've arrived a week ago. "You should sleep."

"I don't want to."

"You need to."

"No. I'm hungry." I mumble into her shoulder. She smells nice, and suddenly I know why Nayeon has such an obsession with cuddling with Jihyo. 

"We ate pizza today,"

"Pizza? Can I have a slice please?" I sit up so that Jihyo can walk into the kitchen. I hear shifting and the sound of a box being placed onto what I'm assuming is the counter.

"Hot or cold?"

"Don't care. I just wanna eat." Jihyo responds by typing in a couple of numbers onto the microwave, saying something about it being better hot. It's not long before I have a couple of slices in front of me. I don't even mind that I've burned my tongue twice now either.

"It's been a long time since I've seen a Zodiac tire themselves out," Jihyo mentions as she watches me eat. It must be an unpleasant sight (Jeongyeon always says so anyway). "I forgot how much they can eat afterwards. Another slice?"

"Please." I try saying through a mouthful of pizza. Jihyo simply smiles when she hands me another hot ass piece. This one is bigger, and I'm thanking Jihyo the best I can with even more food in my mouth.

"The way you eat food is so unappealing," she jokes and I cover my mouth so I can laugh. "Do you feel better now?"

"Kind of. I feel like the first time I ran a mile without stopping. That shit made me so sick that I couldn't think about running for a week. My coach kicked my ass for it."

"So who taught you how to swear like that? Was it Momo?" Jihyo pauses, and I don't miss the way her eyes flash with something I can't figure out. "Jeongyeon?"

"Both," I reply, downing my glass of water. I rest back onto the couch, closing my eyes for just a second. "Is Tzuyu asleep?"

"Yeah. She usually does sleep early."

"She's not angry with me is she?"

"Why would she be?" Jihyo asks. I open my eyes so that I can look at the older girl.

"I mean, that had to be terrifying. It was scary to me, and I was the one doing it." She shakes her head at my words.

"No. If anything she seemed worried. How did you get her to talk to you? She's been so quiet that sometimes I forget she's here."

"I helped her with some homework," I stop for a second to think. "Which reminds me, why the hell do you have homework? Isn't JYPE supposed to be a way to escape or whatever?"

"Not necessarily. We still have to provide an education system to those who need it. I was raised on that education system." I make a soft noise at her words.

"You were raised at JYPE? What about your family?"

"Hm," Jihyo's eyebrows furrow. "They were around I promise. But Jinyoung mostly took me in."

"You're a Zodiac then?"

"No," Her voice is suddenly much colder, and I immediately regret asking. "Sorry for being snappy. I'm just- I'm not like you all, alright? But I care immensely about each and everyone one of you, especially you right now because you're tired. Get some rest, Chaeyoung. Goodnight."

I'm left alone on the couch, my body dragging me back into my vivid dreams. I don't fight it this time.


	10. feel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning because jeongyeon gets kinda deep here. very brief suicidal thoughts.

PARK JIHYO'S P.O.V.  
****  
The world deciding that Chaeyoung should mature now is stupid.

The world also deciding that it wants to repeat cycle one is stupid.

And kissing Jeongyeon when she was in that state of mind was incredibly stupid of me.

It's undeniable that I've always felt something for Jeongyeon despite her loud, annoying nature. There was always something buried underneath all of that that I wanted to discover. I wanted to pull Jeongyeon apart piece by piece, but only with her permission. I know that she's afraid, she has been since day one, and I want nothing more than to make her feel more comfortable.

But I decided that when she was the most vulnerable, I should use her.

And my heart feels guilty because I see Nayeon often, and I do feel something when I look at her. It isn't normal for someone to like two people is it? No, no. That's selfish. Besides, I just want to protect both of them. It's probably nothing and I'm most definitely overreacting.

It's a quiet Sunday. Most of the girls are at JYPE surprisingly, so whenever I spot Jeongyeon's blue hair, I try talking to her. Except I can't because my words always get caught up in my throat, and I become tongue tied. Nayeon stayed as well, but she's mostly stayed in our room.

Sometimes Jeongyeon will sneak into the kitchen to grab food or a drink, but before I can even turn around, she's gone. Of course I realize that this was all my fault, but that makes me want to try and fix it even more. 

Jeongyeon has repeatedly made it clear that she despises me. My attempts at pleasing her must be nonexistent to her. And this makes me stop and think why she kissed me. Did she want comfort of some type? Did she need to feel alright for once? It's obvious that Jeongyeon is hurting as well, and that hurts me. 

I finally give up on catching her, and make my way into the room I share with three other girls. Nayeon sits up quickly, a smile already plastered on her face. I can't help but smile back at her because she's very pretty and even more adorable when her bunny teeth show.

"Finally! You've locked yourself in the living room and it doesn't even have a door. Are you alright?" Nayeon beams. I take a seat next to her, admiring how she immediately leans on me.

"I'm okay. Just confused. How are you? I've been ignoring you all day." 

"Fine," she replies smoothly. "You're right though, you have been ignoring me all day. Momo, Sana, and Mina are doing God knows what at JYPE, and the three youngest went to that one church Jinyoung owns. They're very religious, you know?"

"I assumed. I'm glad that you talk more now. Does this mean that you're becoming more comfortable?" I lower my voice when Nayeon grabs my hand. She nods against my shoulder, and then there's that familiar feeling in my stomach that makes me want to hug her.

"Jihyo?"

"Yes?"

"Can you sing for me? I know it's weird, but when I was really young and my parents didn't completely hate me, my mom would sing for me. Most often it was when I couldn't sleep. And you don't even have to sound good! It's just the noise-"

"Nayeon, you never have to justify yourself," I relax into Nayeon's gentle hold, smiling when she noses at my ear. "I can't really sing though, so be prepared to buy hearing aids." I start off slow with an older song that I used to listen to when I was lonely at JYPE. I had Taecyeon when I was younger, but he was much older than me. I remember just discovering that I could use the air to my (evil) advantage, so Taecyeon would play around with me. I was on the opposite side of the wall from him one day, a soccer ball in front of me. I swore up and down that it was an accident, but I knew deep down that it wasn't. I ended up blowing the ball into his stomach quite forcefully, and making him groan like a maniac. It made me happy then.

But now I'm not alone, and just singing to Nayeon is nice and fulfilling. I pause to breathe, and Nayeon grabs my neck to pull me down with her, "You lied to me. You sound like an angel. Please sing more often?" My eyes drift down to her lips, and if I didn't have a straight mind, I would have leaned into her. But I can't risk what I did with Jeongyeon.

"I can't." I laugh. Nayeon's gaze hardens just slightly, her fingers tangling into my hair.

"Yeah you can."

"Hey, Nayeon-" I shoot up at the sound of Jeongyeon's voice, the top of her blue hair snapping me into reality. "Oh. Shit, sorry." She's gone too quickly, and I can't do anything but bury my face in my hands.

"Jihyo? What's wrong?" Nayeon's hands wrap around my wrist, soft, and barely there, and it does nothing to calm my pounding heart.

"Nothing, don't worry," I sigh. "I need to talk to Jeongyeon, alright?" She nods, and I bite my lip before kissing her temple reassuringly. I want her to know that she did nothing wrong.

I'm not sure where to look for Jeongyeon, but I start out in her room. It's the most obvious choice, and yet she isn't there. I look around all of the rooms in the dorm before deciding that she has to be in the basement considering it's the only place I haven't checked yet, and I'm really hoping she hasn't tried running away. It's cold and dark in the basement with only one light being on. I can't see too clearly at all, so I try calling out.

I walk to the center of the room when I don't get an answer only to have someone (I'm really, really hoping it's Jeongyeon) grab my wrists forcefully. My back collides with the wall to my right, and soon I can smell Jeongyeon's perfume. It's silent with only soft breathing. I can't see her face, but I know she's looking my face over. It's the feel.

"I can't get away from you, can I?" She forces out, her breath tickling my lips. I bite them once again.

"I don't understand-"

"I mean that wherever the fuck I go, you're there. It's been that way since day fucking one. Do you know what you've done to me? I'm a fucking mess." Her breath hitches, and her voice cracks, and suddenly I want to hold her.

"You're not a-"

"Then you're blind. You keep fucking me up."

"Jeongyeon," I breathe, pulling my wrist from her grasp. I rest my hand on her wet cheek. Her hand follows, resting on top of mine. "Please talk to me."

"I can't," her voice quivers, and I finally give in, pulling her close to me. She sobs into my shoulder, and I can feel my heart breaking. "I'm not supposed to trust you. I'm not supposed to be weak, and I wasn't supposed to kiss you. I could be happy if I just jumped from the top floor of JYPE. Isn't that simple enough?"

"Simple but stupid. Jeong, look at me," it's the first time that I've used her nickname, and I hope that she knows that I'm doing so in a comforting way. She looks up, and I have to squint to be able to see her face clearly. "Don't jump. Ever. You're not a mess to me, alright? I've stuck around so far because I can read you, and I know you're not okay. Being weak for once in your life is fine, stop beating yourself up over it." I touch her cheek again, and she swears. "Even if I just met you, I love you. I love all of you."

"Shut up," she whimpers. "You don't love me. You need to hate me. Please hate me." Her voice trails off, and then she sniffles. I'm not used to Jeongyeon being so lost and small. Even when she was in the bathroom that one night, she wasn't so small. I swallow thickly, resting my forehead on hers.

"I am never going to hate you."

"You'll leave," her breathing becomes almost erratic. "Momo will leave, and so will Nayeon. Everyone is going to leave someday."

"Are you comparing leaving and death?"

"No. Death is death. Leaving is someone taking everyone away from me. No one should have that much power," Jeongyeon pauses for a long while. "Stop being fake to me." I'm not using the most logical side of me this time, and I'll definitely hate myself once again for this, but I kiss her again. It's messier this time as I try to prove to her that everything is real. She responds quickly, teeth knocking together and clumsy hands trying to find purchase. Her left hand grips mine tight, and my lungs barely burn at the lack of oxygen. I'm the first to pull away, my breathing unsteady.

"Everything is real, I promise," I whisper against her lips. "This? This is the realest damn thing. I care about you."

We don't leave the basement for a while. There's an old couch off to the left of the room, and somehow I guided us there through quiet promises, apologies, and messy kisses. It's quiet once again, my fingers threading through Jeongyeon's hair as she relaxes into my lap. She stopped crying about thirty minutes ago, but her eyes are still red and her cheeks are still stained with tears.

"You love all of us?" She speaks up, sighing deeply when I scratch gently.

"All eight of you."

"You don't think I'm dumb for breaking down?"

"Never."

"But I've been such a bitch to you." I shake my head at her words.

"Maybe."

"What are we now?" I freeze, scrunching my nose up in thought. It's wrong to be with Jeongyeon if I like Nayeon, isn't it? No, I don't like Nayeon. Maybe I do. This is too complicated, and I can't think.

"Whatever you decide. But I don't believe you're in the right state to be in a relationship right now."

"Relationships are sticky," Jeongyeon makes a noise when I return back to stroking her hair. "I agree with you I think. But I, uh, trust you or whatever. And I can feel when you kiss me."

"You couldn't feel before?" I question.

"Only anger and desperation. I wanted something more all the time. I couldn't ever find it though," I nod in silent agreement. "But, um, what are, fuck- What are you and Nayeon?"

"Me and Nayeon?" She nods this time. I decide to sugarcoat it right now. "I want to protect Nayeon. Why?"

"You kissed her didn't you?"

"No, no," I laugh. "I sang to her. She reassured me."

"Reassuring is nice. I really like it I think." Jeongyeon's words make me feel happy. I can't help but to lean down and kiss her the best I can. She sighs into the kiss before laughing. 

"You're doing well, then." I mention. Jeongyeon practically beams and I don't believe my heart could soar any higher. It's a very sudden and strange progression. I never did hate Jeongyeon even though she definitely hated me. No matter what she told me, I know she hated me.

"You don't regret this?"

"I don't. I like it when you're happy," I comment. "It's better than you chewing me out for reasons to be named."

"I only did it because I was afraid. I'm sorry by the way," she bites her lip. "I still don't trust Jinyoung. Be careful around him, will you?"

"I've lived with him half my life, Jeongyeon." She shakes her head anyway.

"And? I lived with my dad for a long time before he decided that giving me away to Momo's family was smart. Jinyoung could turn his back on you. I don't like him."

"You didn't like me,"

"Who says I do now? The kissing makes me feel better though," I roll my eyes when Jeongyeon laughs, loud and clear. "I'm joking. I think you're decent right now."

"You've opened up a lot," Talking to Jeongyeon has become a much better experience, one that leaves me on a cloud of euphoria. "Thank you."

"It's called breaking walls down. I'm really stupid. It's only been a damn week and I've already melted into a gooey, gross puddle of feelings. Speaking of puddles, how is Chaeyoung?"

"I don't see the resemblance between puddles and Chaeyoung, but she's doing alright. She's strong enough to go to church today with Dahyun and Tzuyu. Jackson is watching over them." I tell her. She sits up, stretching her arms above her head.

"That's good. I don't want my little buddy hurt," I smile at how caring she is. "I still don't understand the maturing thing."

"Most don't. You'll mature eventually. Promise me you won't do anything stupid when you do though." Jeongyeon rolls her eyes dramatically, but connects our pinkies anyway with a soft promise falling from her lips.

When I come back up the stairs (it's much later after Jeongyeon has left to wash her face), Nayeon is on the couch, aggressively slamming into the buttons on Mina's favourite controller. Momo is beside of her, so I'm assuming that they're all back. I refrain from talking to anyone right now, making my way outside.

There's a small area behind the dorm with a ladder that I used to use a long time ago (I brought it with me to the dorm. I guessed that I'd need it eventually). It's a bit dangerous to climb up by myself, but I've gotten so used to it that it's simple and quick. The roof gives me a beautiful view of the sky, even if it's not as good as JYPE's top floor. I bring my hand out in front of me, flicking my fingers towards my face. The breeze that I receive is comforting, and I breathe it in. The pulsing in my mark isn't so distracting anymore. I've been using it since I was ten however, so that should be natural.

The sky is pretty with pink and orange streaks lighting up the once calm blue. It's nice outside as well, only serving to make the perfect atmosphere. It's relaxing, and I've discovered that I miss it. I rub my mark gently before spreading my arms out to enjoy the incoming breeze. 

Most air signs would prefer to use their power to escape from the company that they're in, and some strays would prefer to cause harm rather than help people. Me? I love using my power to help. Whether it be myself or someone else, I've always loved using it for good reason. The only time I've ever used it for evil was when ten year old me attacked Taecyeon. I'm not at all guilty about that either. He knows it was all for fun.

I stop to let my thoughts drift through my body until my hand curls in the air. It isn't long before there's a rose in my hand, a pretty yellow. I believe that Dahyun would like it, so I keep it in the pocket of my jacket.

It must have been hard for Chaeyoung and Mina, being the first ones to mature and all. They're still uneasy here, and they still barely know most of the girls here. Nevertheless, I'm proud of their deep bond that they've already formed.

I matured way too early in Jinyoung's mind. And I suppose that nine years old is early, but it just meant that I could have more control in the future. And I do. I have a lot more control than most Zodiacs my age. Hell, I have more control than Zodiacs at least five years older than me.

I should be proud of it, and I guess I am just a little bit, but there was never any use for controlling air. Of course I still would help people when they needed it, but what else is there to truly do? Back when the war was still going on, there were people who would protect, heal, or fight with the power they had.

I would have preferred to protect. In my opinion, Nayeon would heal, Jeongyeon would protect, and Momo would fight. Momo has that type of spirit despite being squeamish. Sana... I can't read her too well just yet. But she would probably fight as well. She's strong. Mina would protect, Dahyun would heal, and Chaeyoung would fight. Tzuyu? She could do all three though she'd prefer healing. It's a feeling that I have deep inside of me.

But we're not at war. Disregarding slurs and hate, we're at peace.

No, no. Maybe not at peace just yet.

All eight of these girls have a war inside of their head that I want to help them win.


	11. sin

HIRAI MOMO'S P.O.V.  
****  
Mina barely talks the entire time we're at JYPE. The part that upsets me is the fact that it's just Sana and me with her. Before we came to Korea, Mina was more talkative with us. She knew how to make us laugh, and it was never boring when she was around. Hell, she was like this before she matured or whatever.

Maturing is such a dumb word for it. Aren't you mature once you come of age? Most are anyway. I wouldn't say that I'm mature in any way just yet. twenty-three is still young and therefore I should make the most out of it, but I can't because I'm confined in JYPE's creepy building. I wouldn't want to stay longer than I have to, but I admit that it has some calming rooms. When I get too stressed, I go to the gym with whoever wants to go with me. Sometimes I end up alone, but not for long because Somi will join me.

Last week it was Chaeyoung who came with me. She couldn't come today for obvious reasons, but also because Dahyun requested she go to church with her. I'm not as religious as the youngest three are, and definitely not as much as Mina. Sana is just out there. She does what she wants and I don't think I'd really care if she admitted she believed in a god or not. I don't necessarily believe in one because it's too unrealistic for me.

And if I did, I wouldn't be able to not be angry with him. Why would he make me a fucking Zodiac of all things? These thoughts only serve to make my punches delivered to the punching bag rougher. It was a mistake not wearing anything protective, definitely, because my knuckles are sore and slightly raw. This doesn't stop me however, Mina does.

"Momo, calm down," her voice is soft, and when I turn around I can see the sweat on her face, and her flushed face, and all it does is make me more frustrated. No one is that pretty. "You're hurting yourself."

"I am," I laugh lowly. "And?"

"And you need to stop," Mina frowns and I exhale carefully. My frustration continues to build, but I try keeping my breathing under control. "I don't want you harming yourself." This is Mina. It'll be fine if I can just chill the fuck out and listen to her.

"Fine," I try to ignore how cold my voice sounds, but Mina makes a face and I immediately regret it. "Sorry. I'm just really frustrated."

"I know. We all are," she redirects her gaze to Sana who is doing her very best to bring a silver bar to her chest. She swears when she just barely does it, already starting again too quickly and not as careful as she should be. If she continues like this, she'll surely pull a muscle. "Sana needs some type of release, so she won't listen to me. Try getting into her head."

"Sana, stop. Take a break before you're crying because everything hurts," I shake my head as I bend down to grab my way too expensive water bottle courtesy of JYPE (I totally filled it with juice instead). Mina shouldn't be too shocked about the price still on the bottom of the bottle, but she is. We've already been away from home too long. 

Sana finally releases the bar, and it flies back up to the top of the equipment, "You stop too! I can see your knuckles from over here." 

"My knuckles are used to it," I roll my eyes. "Mitang, you haven't touched anything, have you?" I haven't seen her using anything, but she's sweating and I can't put my finger on it.

"It's hot enough in this room," she shrugs and I give her a knowing look; there's no way that's the only reason. "I hate you two, you know that? I'm afraid that I'll mess something up."

"First of all, you love us, and second, you won't. You've been seeing Jackson for two hours a day since the very first time you accidentally burnt the damn couch. You haven't had any more accidents," 

"I could though."

"But you haven't. And you're slowly getting better. We trust you remember?" Sana joins in, wiping the sweat off of her forehead with a towel. Mina smiles as she looks down, and it makes me happy. Mina always looks pretty when she smiles.

"Still, I'll stick to just thinking right now. It's made me sweat enough, hasn't it?" Even though I'd like her to participate, I keep my mouth shut this time, downing the rest of the juice. Soda would have tasted better, but Mina was adamant on making me choose something healthier. Water was a no, of course. That shit has absolutely no taste, how am I supposed to drink it? It's like tasteless poison!

I don't continue using the punching bag, but I do help Sana out with pulling the silver to her chest. It's not even that heavy, so I can't help but laugh when Sana whines. But I don't push her anymore than she needs to be pushed.

I keep notice of Mina, who refuses to touch anything. She keeps her hands curled up into fists by her side or in her lap when she's sitting down. This is upsetting as well because I don't want her thinking she'll hurt any of us. It's more than likely all the bullshit that her parents put into her head when they did hang out with her (which wasn't very much) or when they had time to go to her recitals. I always made my parents take Sana, Jeongyeon, Hana, and, of course, me.

Jeongyeon always gave flowers to Mina afterwards, and they'd always hug so tight that little me felt jealous. It's hilarious, isn't it? I really believed Jeongyeon would steal my best friend. Mina developed a crush on Jeongyeon, which in reality made me laugh so hard I couldn't stop crying for an hour. We were really innocent and young then. I miss those days.

Mina wasn't so afraid then. And as long as we covered our mark, we didn't get too much hate. The only bad thing about Mina's recitals were accusations from the other kids in her class. She told them off once or twice, but soon she'd only shrug them off and cry when she stayed over at my home. We all wanted to protect Mina.

 

And now we can't because she won't let us. And Jeongyeon won't let us help her either. I'm not as stupid as most people think I am. I see right through both of them. I can see through Nayeon, and Jihyo, and Dahyun. Chaeyoung and Tzuyu are the most difficult to see through (Dahyun is difficult as well, but she's opened up more to me). Dahyun is constantly nervous and she feels empty. Her eyes lack life, like Jeongyeon's do. Jeongyeon wants to start living and Dahyun wants to stop living.

Mina wants a mix of both. She wants happiness and to not feel lonely. And I realize now that I've neglected her quite a bit, so I'd like to become closer to her. We used to be closer than Sana and I were. Now Mina is almost like a distant stranger, too afraid to get close to me. I'm too afraid to talk to her in fear that I'll mess up, but that's the only thing you can do, right? 

Most of my thoughts now are occupied by Dahyun and Mina. Protecting isn't in my nature, and yet I want to help them. Protecting is Jeongyeon's thing, and she's good at it. Maybe I could learn from her. I've always looked up to her after all. 

There are many things that I remember before moving to Korea.

I remember Jeongyeon buying all four of us ice cream with the money she earned from the bakery she worked at. And I remember her getting into a fight with Sana's ex girlfriend in middle school. 

I remember Mina crying because she wasn't good enough on her fifteenth birthday. Her parents were stuck in America for business reasons, and Mina had to spend her fucking birthday by herself in that way too huge house. So naturally Jeongyeon, Sana, and I came over with her favourite cake, and a stack of her favourite movies, and even some ice cream just for memories.

Finally, I remember punching a boy's teeth out. It wasn't an accident obviously, but Mina's parents didn't have to know that. His name was Yuuto, and I sure as hell wasn't taking any of his shit when he called Mina a, and I'm not even exaggerating, "Stupid, filthy dyke". He then proceeded to push her down. Hana scolded me, but I never once felt guilty; he was asking for it! And most people wouldn't bat an eye at his words, or they'd say that it wasn't much at all, but with the way Mina got so upset... It was too much for both of us.

But in Korea, we're stuck in a dorm with people we're just getting to know. It's nice because we don't have to worry about hate, but we do have to worry about being treated like subjects. No one should have to be tested, and no one should should want to die.

The dorm is empty. Or rather it's silent. Jeongyeon is in the bathroom taking a bubble bath (I recommended it to her, but if I told anyone that, she'd kill me). Jihyo has just come up the stairs from the basement only to go outside, and I'm beside of Nayeon watching her smash buttons way too aggressively. She swears when the character on the screen dies once more making her death count go up to a grand total of 504. 

I can't help but laugh, and she turns so quick that I almost choke, "Shut up! This is hard, alright?"

"Is it?" I joke, shifting in my seat. Nayeon rolls her eyes as hard as she can.

"Obviously. Where is Mina? She can beat this stupid level." 

"I don't believe she'd want to," my voice lowers, but I try keeping my emotions out of my words. "She's not feeling well." Nayeon makes a soft sound, and simply nods. 

Nayeon is kind, just like everyone else here, and there's something about her that I admire. She's strong, and calm even though most people here are still freaking out even after a week. I'm still not adjusted, I don't think I ever will be, but I've found that putting on a facade like everyone else does is easy.

Other than the noise of the character continously dying, and Nayeon's fingers rapidly moving across the controller, it's quiet. It always is. Or it is until Dahyun rounds the corner of the hallway, biting her lip and holding her hands, mumbling a soft, "Momoring?"

I jump up quickly because the look on her face is familiar and it makes me nervous. I don't reply, but I do gently grab her hand and lead us back into the room I share with Jeongyeon. Her room wouldn't have been a good choice considering there are two other girls who are most likely in it. I close the door behind me softly before exhaling slowly, "You're making that face again. Are you alright?"

"Yes," Dahyun looks down at her feet. "Actually, no. I feel weird. I don't like this feeling. I was thinking about how we could end up living here our entire lives, and I think I made myself upset? My stomach feels so weird."

"It's called nerves, Dahyunnie. Sit down somewhere. Do you want me to get you anything to drink? Are you cold? Hot?"

"I'm alright," she stutters, her hands shaking slightly. "I just want you to stay here with me please." I reach out and intertwine our fingers before lowering myself onto the bed along with her. It's the same position that Jeongyeon would lie with me when I was upset, so I'm hoping that Dahyun will feel alright.

It's silent disregarding our soft breathing, and Dahyun's hands occasionally squeezing mine. Her legs tangle with mine when she buries her face into my neck, a quiet sob leaving her mouth. There's a dark feeling in my chest, and all I can do is pull her closer, "I don't want to be here forever. I don't want to mature. I don't want to hurt anyone,"

"We won't be here forever," I whisper. It's a bit of an empty promise because I'm not even sure if I'm right, but anything for Dahyun. "You won't hurt anyone." I've never been amazing at comforting people, but I do try my best. I've always ended up resulting in violent actions influenced by Hana, but there's no need to use violence right now.

"I don't want to be here at all," Dahyun's voice cracks and I can't help but to roll over on top of her, taking her face into my hands as my heartbeat speeds up.

"I want you here." My words seemingly break Dahyun. She wraps her hands around the back of my neck, pulling me down against her. Her cheeks are wet with tears, and I want nothing more than to kiss them away. I refrain from it, staying in her embrace. Somehow I wiggle my right hand free to grab onto Dahyun's still shaking wrist until I can find her hand again. 

We stay like that, never moving, as I mumble quiet, soft reassuring words into her ear and she continues to cry. I feel like Jeongyeon when we first came here, with Dahyun acting how I did. This is different however because I'm finally the one taking care of someone else.

It takes me a couple of minutes to realize that Dahyun has fallen silent, her breathing no longer uneven. I sit up carefully, a small smile reaching my lips when I notice that she's fallen asleep. Rather than carrying her to her room, I move her as quick and gently as I can underneath the blankets. Jeongyeon will understand.


	12. trust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I FORGOT TO SAY that i dont use honorifics because i am deathly afraid that i'll mess them up and everything will go completely wrong so im very sorry if this is an issue,,

MINATOZAKI SANA'S P.O.V.  
****  
Korea is gorgeous. But what is the use in knowing when you can't explore? You are always in fear of harming someone. You never know when you will mature, and suddenly have enough power to have the world at your feet if you wanted. Jinyoung may be taking precautions, but shouldn't he have some idea of when we will mature? 

We've already had two of eight mature. I had my last training session with Mina. Jackson stuck to helping her the entire time while Jinyoung would attempt to have me relax. Relaxing is hard to do when you're nervous most of the time. He kept repeating something about cycle one, but I had no clue what it could mean. 

Cycle one could mean anything. He could be talking about taking over the world somehow and I wouldn't have any idea. And if he were, for some reason, talking about taking over the world, we wouldn't be able to do much. But I doubt he is. Jihyo trusts Jinyoung, so I should too.

Momo taps my thigh once. I pout, but move away from her. When I was nervous before, Momo would offer to cuddle with me, and I always loved it. Momo isn't one for too much physical affection, preferring physical acts that involve no feelings whatsoever. But she only loved them because she wouldn't have to think or worry about what would happen.

She used to have the biggest crush on Mina, and I believe that's why she resulted in hooking up with random, too pretty women she met at Jeongyeon's college campus. She was afraid that Mina wouldn't return her feelings (Mina did have the biggest crush on Jeongyeon then). She stopped a couple of years before being taken away, but she never returned to her old self. There's something that Momo is always hiding it seems. She's more distant now.

I think a lot of us fear rejection because it's what we're used to. It's very rare for a Zodiac to settle down with an actual, innocent, safe human because we're seen as worthless while actual people are able to become kings and queens. I'm not angry for their reasoning, but I am upset about it. It's been a while since a Zodiac harmed someone, and I'm very sure that we won't do anything purposely. 

Even though Jeongyeon constantly threatens everyone who comes near her (and us), she won't harm someone who's innocent. She's a protector. She protects anyone and everyone she loves and cares for, and Jeongyeon has a kind heart. 

In a way, I believe Mina is the strongest of all four of us. She went through a lot before coming to Korea, and yet she never once complained. Not until she became able to spark flames from her fingertips. She may be the youngest out of us three, but she's definitely one of the most mature.

And then there's me. I never went through too much, but I was lonely. I didn't have any siblings growing up, and sometimes my parents would work late like Mina's. But I had no reason to complain because at least mine did show back up. And they never tried giving me away like Jeongyeon's.  

In my head, anywhere can be home. In my heart, it's different. Though I want to accept South Korea as my new home, I can't. The air is different here, but Osaka is what my heart continues to try and pull me to. I understand Jeongyeon missing Korea now.

Probably noticing my pout, Momo scoffs, but pulls me back against her anyway. I smile because I'm content, and Momo smells nice, and kinda like-

"You smell like Dahyunnie."

"I do?" Momo raises an eyebrow. "I've been hanging out with her more often."

"Is she doing better? She won't let me talk to her." I frown, sitting up once again. She shrugs, running a hand through her hair. It's a bit useless because she doesn't even touch her bangs, and I should probably tease her about it, but I don't. She doesn't like her forehead anyway. Which is dumb. Her forehead is pretty, and I love kissing it.

"She still gets upset and nervous," Momo pauses to allow herself to think. I can tell by the way she purses her lips. "But she's okay. She's trying to open up to everyone."

"She's so cute, isn't she? She gives me the same vibes as Mina, so I want to protect her."

"She's already got the entire dorm to protect her. I agree with you though," I return to cuddling up the Momo as she continues to speak. "She's an adult anyway."

"And we're older. Which means, by default, we have to take care of her."

"Right." Momo falls silent. 

As we all fear rejection, I used to think I didn't. But Dahyun makes me afraid. I'm not used to someone I don't know well pushing me away. Jeongyeon always blamed strangers liking me on my "charm", but I don't believe I have any charm. It's called being nice. 

But nice has gotten me nowhere with Dahyun. And I know how to give people their space, but even when I try offering Dahyun a bite of food at dinner after leaving her alone for days at a time, she rejects me. The first day she allowed me to feed her, and she was even content with it. She smiled and laughed.

The sudden change in demeanor is what a lot of people fear in their friends. I consider Dahyun my friend. I consider everyone my friend here. Except for Jinyoung. He's kind of creepy. Sorry Jihyo.

I'm not new to feelings, in fact I'm very familiar with them. Though I push them into the back of my mind, I recognize them, and I know how to act upon them. While Mina, Momo, and Jeongyeon don't. Maybe it's the way they were raised; Momo and Jeongyeon only ever recognize anger. They're impulsive in that sense, and Mina can only recognize her loneliness. She'll lie to us now when we ask if she's lonely, but still. She knows she is.

I'm unsure of how I feel about Dahyun. She was the last girl to come along with us. Everyone else... they were strangers, right? But I only felt sympathy for them because I was in the same boat as they were. When Dahyun was brought onto the weird, ugly van, I immediately thought she was someone I needed to get to know.

A lot of people believe in soulmates, people you just automatically know are the one for you. Me? I just thought that we could fall in love with whoever we wanted. Of course I don't love Dahyun, but I'm not dumb enough to think my feelings are completely platonic. Platonic feelings are what I feel for Mina, Jeongyeon, and Momo. I believe in soulmates when it comes to friends. Some people just fit.

Dahyun to me is Nayeon to Jihyo, Momo to Jeongyeon, and Mina to Momo. I've always been known to catch feelings quickly however, so I shouldn't think too much of it, right? Love is the last thing I want to focus on right now anyway. 

"Are you still upset?" Momo asks, carding her hand through my hair. She used to do it all the time, but things have happened, and I'm lucky enough to get her to tease me. 

"No." And my voice sounds small, but I'm being honest. Momo is comforting. Before Momo can open her mouth, there's a loud crashing sound outside of her room. I sit up quickly, following Momo out of the room because anything could have happened. We're greeted with Jeongyeon staring blankly at a broken bowl with what I think is soup surrounding it. So it's good that no one got hurt, but she seems so out of it that I'm concerned.

"Jeong?" Momo rests her hand on Jeongyeon's shoulder, but Jeongyeon jerks away. 

"Go back to whatever you were doing." Her voice is unusually cold, but by now we know what to do. The best thing is to leave her alone, even if we don't want to. Nayeon seems to not know that though because she's holding Jeongyeon's face in her hands before we can even turn around. What hurts is the fact that Jeongyeon doesn't pull away from Nayeon like she would have with us.

But I know better than to let myself be hurt by Jeongyeon. She's not as predicable as she used to be.

Momo's face falls blank before she's grabbing my hand and leading me into my room this time, locking the door behind her, "Jeong has really become stupid, hasn't she?" Momo tries being tough. She really does, but I know her better than most. She acts tough because she's upset, just like Jeongyeon.

"You don't think that." I tell her, but she's still climbing on top of me with a cold face. I reach behind her and pull her down flush against me, ignoring the way Momo freezes. She still doesn't like physical affection. But I'm not about to let my best friend try and hide her feelings through sex that won't even do anything for either of us.

"Yeah I do," Momo huffs, but she doesn't move. "She's changed."

"A lot of us have."

"But she doesn't like me anymore. She's too caught up with Nayeon, and Chaeyoung, and she can't stop getting mad at Jihyo, so she has no time for me. I'm selfish, hm?"

"Not really," I reply, my hand sneaking up her shirt. Her skin is soft and warm under my fingertips. Momo sighs, relaxing more into my arms. "Just so you know, I don't plan on hooking up with you."

"I know you wouldn't," Momo laughs. "I don't do that anymore. And that's gross 'cause you're my best friend. But I wanna feel something other than being disappointed. That should be easy, but it's not."

"It's really not. Rather than staying inside, we could go to JYPE's cafeteria or whatever. They have some good ice cream, let me tell you," I nearly groan as I remember the strawberry ice cream I got with Chaeyoung the other day. I'm not sure if it's Korea or if JYPE just has nice ice cream, but it was the absolute best thing I've ever tasted. "Are you up for it?"

"Okay."

The cafeteria isn't so busy at this time, with only a few men and women sitting at different tables. I spot Jackson sitting in front of six other guys, his arm around the shoulders of one of them. It's an absent thought, but I think they look good together. And they're all smiling, so maybe we really will get used to JYPE. Unless they work here like Jackson. No, they aren't wearing the black button up shirt like Jackson and Jihyo do when they're doing business here. 

Momo and I choose a small table near the corner of the cafeteria by the window. Rain droplets are beginning to gather on the window, making it look almost ethereal outside. JYPE has such nice scenery. The thought that Momo actually is eating something doesn't cross my mind more than it has to. If I bring it up, it'll probably end badly.

Momo doesn't bite into her ice cream like Mina does. Every time Mina does it, I can't help but cringe. It's cold, so I don't understand how she does it. Momo moans into the ice cream, her eyes lighting up. It makes me happy that she doesn't look so dull anymore, "You weren't lying."

"Why would I lie about ice cream?" I smile as I wipe the corner of my mouth. The fact that it's so good could also be because Momo hasn't tried to eat much of anything at all. But I won't focus on the fact.

"Because obviously you wanted me to yourself," Momo smirks. "I mean, look at me, I'm irresistible."

"The only irresistible thing in this room is this ice cream." I shrug, trying to actually bite into the ice cream. Poor choice. I flinch away, frowning at the cone. Momo laughs, and I feel accomplished.

"Whatever. Thank you for this, Sana."

"Don't thank me. I was just sick of seeing your sorry ass being sulky over Jeong." I joke. Momo glares at me, but her smile never falls. It's a weird expression, but funny nevertheless. She leans back in the chair, licking her ice cream. 

Today has been one of the most relaxing days since we've arrived. The dorm is always quiet, but it's different going out where you can with someone you're close to. It's even better when you're both upset and need some type of escape.

Any day now, anyone else could mature, which just means an even darker atmosphere at the dorm. No one can ever be ready for it, but I'm silently praying that Momo doesn't mature too quickly. She's the least ready, second to Jeongyeon.

The rain begins to fall harder, and there's that stray thought in the back of my head, constantly repeating that it's inevitable, and that one day we all won't be so innocent anymore.


	13. oblivion

YOO JEONGYEON'S P.O.V.  
****  
Why am I so unstable? Why can't I keep my thoughts inside of my head rather than hurting people?

I used to be able to.

It's that weird ass Jinyoung guy. He's fucking with my head, isn't he? That's what all those wires are for. For fucks sake, Jeongyeon, chill out, would you?

I reach out for Nayeon's hand, glaring at Jihyo as she talks to Jinyoung. I shouldn't trust her. But then she's turning around and she's smiling, and my chest feels so tight that I want to die because Jihyo is such a kind person and-

"Jeong?" Nayeon whispers under her breath. I glance down at her, rubbing my thumb over hers.

"Yeah?"

"You look at Jihyo differently," her words make me bite my bottom lip. Hard. I don't want to be obvious about it, but there's definitely something going on in my head that makes me think it's alright to like Jihyo like that. All she did was comfort me. That's normal.

"Do I?" The laugh that leaves my lips sounds nervous, but I shake it off.

"You do. You look at her like she looks at you."

"And how's that?" Redirecting the topic won't do much at all, so I don't even try. Nayeon is persistent. 

"How I look at both of you." I laugh once more, shaking my head. It's best if I don't think too much about her words.

"That's funny."

"Is it?" Nayeon's lips quirk up into a smile, and it makes me happy inside. Yeah. Happy is that feeling. "Not many people think I'm funny."

We're at JYPE for an unknown reason. It's been about two weeks since the mess I caused with Jihyo, and Momo, and Chaeyoung's mess-

All of it has been a mess, really.

I assume that could be why we're at JYPE in the training room while Jinyoung talks with Jihyo and Somi in hushed whispers. Momo is clinging onto Chaeyoung while Mina sticks to Tzuyu. Mina still refuses to touch anyone for longer than three seconds, but she's slowly accepting herself. Seeing Mina so broken... it hurts; I love Mina with all of my being. I love all of these girls. Except for Jihyo. 

But I care about her. That's good enough.

Suddenly there's a sharp flame nipping at my left wrist, and when I turn around, Jackson is smiling sheepishly. The heat is calmed by a gentle, quick rush of cold metal, and when I bring my hand up to view it, I notice handcuffs. 

It's only natural that I go into panic mode, yanking myself away from Nayeon and kicking out at Jackson as he grabs my other wrist to lock the handcuffs. The difference between Jackson and me is that Jackson has at least twenty pounds of muscle compared to me, so struggling is a bit useless. That doesn't mean I don't still try. 

Fucking handcuffs though?

Why the hell-

Jinyoung is just proving his point that he's a creepy, old slave owner.

"Jackson, you've got the matured Zodiacs and Jeongyeon locked up, right?" Jinyoung speaks loudly. I swear inside of my head when Jihyo frowns at me. Her eyes hold a silent promise, and I'm not supposed to believe her, but I do.

"Yeah. What about Sana-"

"She's fine. Sana, we have to do something with Momo. Will you be alright with that?"

"No." Sana straightens up, eyes turning cold. It makes me proud that she's still so strong after these past weeks. I stiffen when he mentions Momo, and even though I've been rather cold to her lately, I still have the urge to protect her.

"We have to, my dear. It won't take long." Sana swears at his words, stepping forward quickly, but Jackson holds her back, whispering something in her ear that I can't hear clearly. It only serves to make me more anxious.

"Momo has already been injected, so she won't panic. All we're doing is running a simple test, and she may sound like she's being hurt, but she isn't," Jinyoung tries reassuring us once more, but I'm already trying to somehow get the handcuffs off to get Momo away from him. Mina stares blankly, but I can read the flash of emotion in her eyes. She's worried as well. "Momo is defective. We're trying to figure out what's made her this way."

"Defective? That's complete bullshit. We're human, we can't be-" Jinyoung cuts me off sharply, and I can read Jihyo's apology on her lips. 

"You're Zodiacs, not human. We will never be human."

"Let Momo go. Can't you make me defective or what the fuck ever?" A plead almost leaves my lips, but I refuse to be weak in front of him. 

"You don't feel, do you?"

"Shut the fuck up. You don't know that." 

"You don't. None of you do, which is why you aren't defective. Momo feels absolutely every emotion that a human should, and that's not correct. Emotions will only hurt her in this world." Jinyoung sighs as he connects the wires, hands steady. It's quiet disregarding my heavy breathing and Dahyun's short, desperate breaths. She sounds nervous, and her expression makes it seem like she's definitely not okay. I feel Nayeon stiffen beside me as she asks for Jackson. Jinyoung sends a glare her way, and my gaze hardens. He doesn't have the right to look at her that way.

Nayeon asks Jackson to get Dahyun out, and he seemingly understands, unlocking Dahyun's handcuffs and leading her into the elevator. I sigh a breath of relief knowing that at least one other girl is safe.

A light on the monitor brightens the room, and then Momo whimpers, shifting in the chair. I growl under my breath, struggling harder against the handcuffs. She isn't going to get hurt. She won't get hurt. I won't let him. He's a fucking liar.

"I feel," Chaeyoung speaks up. Jinyoung turns, and shakes his head. "Yeah I do. Wasn't I upset the week I matured? That's feeling."

"That's typical feeling. Momo feels everything, however."

"So do I. Anger, desperation, depression, anxiety. Loneliness. And guess what? I even feel," Chaeyoung pauses, a smile forming on her lips. "Hunger." I return her smile. Chaeyoung has been one of the bravest since we've arrived.

"You're not defective," Jinyoung pushes Jihyo's shoulder, and though it looks gentle, I still don't like it. "Control her, will you?"

"I, um," Jihyo stutters over the words as she bends down next to Chaeyoung. "I promise you everything will be alright. He's done it before." And though she tries her best to seem sincere, I can see right through her.

It isn't until the ground suddenly shakes so aggressively that the machines move across the floor that I can finally comprehend what's happening with Dahyun. The room lights flicker, and when they turn back on, Jackson is doing his very best to hold Dahyun against his chest. Her mark is glowing so bright that it hurts my eyes to look at it, and Dahyun's eyes have gone white, lighting up a path in front of her. She barely looks like herself. 

I hear Jinyoung swear loudly when Dahyun cries out, her legs struggling against Jackson. There's a quick, strong blast of wind that knocks Jinyoung off of his feet, and I can barely concentrate due to how loud it is.

I squint my eyes open to notice Jihyo trying to get in front of Dahyun. It's not safe at all for any of us, I know this, but Jihyo is a fucking human, and she could die, and-

"Let go of me!" Dahyun shouts, yet another heavy wind knocking me off my feet this time. In the blurriness of the moment, I can finally make out Sana's disoriented figure holding onto Dahyun's face, telling her so many things that I can barely hear.

The heavy bursts of wind slowly mellow out as Dahyun increasingly becomes more limp in Jackson's arms, with only one more being so aggressive that I feel someone hold onto me tight.

I wait for what feels like hours before I open my eyes. I can't hear too well just yet, but I notice that Jihyo is holding both me and Nayeon to her chest, and I have no clue when the hell she got close to us because I swore she was going to Dahyun, but-

"You're okay, yeah?" Jihyo asks. I groan, still trying to wiggle out of the handcuffs. I stop when I remember Momo being strapped into a chair, and suddenly all of my thoughts can only form around the topic of my little sister.

"Is Momo?"

"She's alright. After Dahyun tired out, Jackson took her back to the dorm with Momo. We believe that Dahyun matured in the midst of another anxiety attack. Jackson was doing his best to get her down here for Jinyoung, but they had just made it when Dahyun lost control."

"Where are the others?" Nayeon asks, sitting up. Jihyo reaches into her back pocket, pulling out a key before turning us around to unlock the handcuffs. I rub at my wrists once I'm free, scowling as I look across the room. It's a complete mess, and it's no doubt that they'll have to repair everything.

"The dorm. Jinyoung decided to wait a while before... fixing Momo," Jihyo cringes, and I understand that she doesn't like what he's doing either. But he's her boss isn't he? So she doesn't have much of a say. Frankly, I don't care. "I'm very sorry that you had to go through this."

"Momo doesn't need to be fixed." I tell her, doing my best to keep my voice steady as I stand up. My legs still feel weak, so it's harder than it should be to stay on them.

"I know she doesn't," Jihyo sighs, hand carding through my hair, and I should care that Jihyo is touching me because Nayeon is in the room, but Jihyo is so comforting that I can't think about anything else but Momo and her. "But Jinyoung is particular in the training of his Zodiacs. I don't have to agree with it, I just have to assist."

"Can't you add in your input?" Nayeon pouts, her hand finding mine once again. Jihyo shakes her head, and her eyes seem sad. I almost reach forward and pull her to my chest.

"No. Though I've been here for most of my life, Jinyoung still doesn't allow me to add my opinions in too much of anything. Project Twice is my first project that I've participated in. I don't understand how all of you are a project, but I don't need to. I just have to take care of you."

"You're doing a good job." I force out, biting my cheek. Nayeon smiles up at me, and the look on her face lets me know that she's proud of me. That makes me happy as well.

Jihyo decides against taking us straight back to the dorm, so I interrupt her as when get off of the elevator, requesting that we go to the garden. I'm sure Nayeon will like the idea as well because the last time we went, she looked so peaceful and calm. Or she did until I decided to cut a rose off its stem. It was for good reason though, I swear on it.

As I open the door to the garden, I'm suddenly reminded of Dahyun once more for an unknown reason. It must be the gentle breeze though Dahyun's breeze was sure as hell not, well, a breeze. I hope she's alright. No one should have to go through that. God, Momo, too. I wonder if JYPE will continue destroying us one by one.

My gaze drifts to Nayeon as she rests on her knees, admiring a pretty butterfly. It must have escaped from the room that Momo likes so much. Jihyo smiles, and I recognize her expression as fondness. Jihyo has always looked at Nayeon like that. Since day one. Of course she looks at all of the other eight girls like that, but it's something different with Nayeon. She must like her then. That's what it must be, right?

I push the thought away, reaching into my pocket only to prick my finger on a thorn. I forgot to cut the thorns off it seems. Either way, I bring out my pocket knife next and begin slicing them off so that the stem is safer to hold. It doesn't take long at all; I'm rather skilled with a knife. You have to be when you have to walk across a college campus late at night and you're not particularly liked. I said that I wouldn't harm at innocent human. The people that attacked me weren't innocent, therefore I felt absolutely no remorse when I'd have to use the knife. I'd always ask Hana if that made me a shitty person. She liked it. She was proud of me. But that's not the right thing to be proud of I don't think.

I smile contently after a while, finally looking up to see Jihyo smiling right back at me. A strange feeling rushes through my body, but I ignore it as I hand her the rose, "Here. I kinda stole it a while ago. It's kinda dead, too, huh?"

"Kinda?" Jihyo laughs. "Very. But that's alright."

"You look at Nayeon differently," I mention, repeating Nayeon's words from earlier in a different manner. The girl is currently occupied with looking at each and every colour, so I'm not too worried about her overhearing. And that's besides the point. She might need to hear Jihyo's words.

"Do I?" It's nearly an exact replica of the conversation before the incident. 

"Yeah. She says that she looks at us the same way you know," I pick a thorn out of the skin of my finger, flicking it away. "Do you think Nayeon is naive?"

"Naive? Maybe. She's innocent, but she knows things. What does she mean?"

"I don't know," I do have an idea though. "But think about it, Jihyo. How do you look at Nayeon? Don't lie to me to spare my feelings or what the fuck ever either. I don't care."

"I told you. I look at Nayeon like I want to protect her probably. And I do," Jihyo turns to look at Nayeon, and I don't miss the way her eyes soften. There's no doubt in my mind that Jihyo loves Nayeon. She said it herself, that she loves all eight of us. But it's different with Nayeon. Everything is different with Nayeon. "She's too innocent."

"Innocence can be good," I bite my lip as Nayeon begins to walk towards us. "You love her don't you?" Jihyo laughs as Nayeon stops in front of her, a bright, pretty smile lighting up the room. Love never came easy to me. It's a known fact to many of the girls now that I can't love too easily because I'm not used to it. But I love Momo. And I love Sana and Mina, and Chaeyoung, and Dahyun. I love Tzuyu, and I love Jihyo. Maybe. But Nayeon? I love her more than I want to admit. But in a world like this, it's not easy to allow yourself to love. Especially not when you're locked away for God knows how long, never knowing if the person you love will be taken from you.

"I do." Jihyo answers. 

And I wonder how it'll work. 

Easy and simple.

I refuse myself to make others happy.


	14. mellifluous

KIM DAHYUN'S P.O.V.  
****  
I wake up in a cold sweat once more, my heart already pounding so hard I can feel it in my throat. My limbs feel weak, and when I try to sit up, I can only groan as my back collides with-

This isn't my room.

I pause, looking around as I take in a scent that I'm not very used to. It's not bad at all, vanilla wavering around the bed I'm in. I squint in the darkness of the room, finally making out a couple shapes in the room. There's three beds, four counting the one I'm in, so then I must be in Sana's room. I try moving once more only to jump when I feel someone's hand rest on my stomach. 

I turn my head, a gasp nearly escaping my mouth as I take in Sana's features. Did she take me in after the incident? What actually happened?

I know that I matured. And when I was barely conscious, I could hear someone talking about repairing the training room, so I must have done something to it. Honestly I can't remember much else.

My chest felt tight in the elevator even as Jackson tried reassuring me, but he came too close like the man in the hallway, and I couldn't breathe, and I swore I was going to die. I was worried about Momo. That's it.

The hand on my stomach slips under my shirt and I make a soft noise before trying my very best to wake Sana. I can't just slip out; it'd make me seem ungrateful, but Sana's hand likes to wander I find out, and it's kind of too hot.

"Sana," I whisper, resting my own hand on top of hers to stop it from moving. "Sana. Wake up," She shifts, but doesn't say anything. I huff, slipping her hand out of my shirt so that I can turn my entire body to face her, pushing against her arm gently. "Come on, I don't wanna seem like a jerk."

"A jerk?" Sana's voice comes out raspy and low and I'd be lying if I said it didn't affect me. But this is Sana, so it shouldn't. "You could never. Are you feeling better?" 

"Um, yeah," I stutter when Sana's eyes open, dark and inviting. "I- I should go because, like, this isn't really my room and-"

"I don't mind if you stay. I just brought you in here because it was late and Chaeyoung and Tzuyu were already in bed. I didn't want to wake them."

"Oh," I bite my lip, staring into Sana's eyes in a poor attempt at not glancing at her lips. "Thank you." Despite my words, I stay still. Sana chuckles softly.

"You're not leaving?"

"I should, shouldn't I?"

"Like I said, you don't have to," it's Sana's turn to bite her lip now and I finally give in, letting my eyes drift down. "It won't hurt my feelings if you go though, alright? I just wanted to know if you were good."

"Good?"

"Better, rested, back to yourself. Whichever you prefer," she smiles and suddenly I don't really want to go back. 

Momo.

"Enough about me, how's Momo? Did he-"

"She's fine. Definitely fucked out, but she's alright. He couldn't do much with you blowing the room to shreds." Sana laughs once more, a sound that sounds so pleasant that I want to hear it everyday, over and over again. Sana is friendly. I can get used to her. 

"Fu- What?" I scrunch my eyebrows together in thought. What does that even mean?

"Poor choice of words. She's... Drugged? Kind of. They injected her with something apparently, but I didn't see them do anything." I nod in acknowledgment. At least she isn't harmed. 

God. That Jinyoung guy is something. He's too creepy. Everyone thinks that, but Jihyo always does her best in reassuring us that he's good. And I guess his intentions are fine, but it's what he's doing after we mature that I'm worried about. Or the fact that if we feel too much, he wants to fix us. Feeling is normal, right?

"What time is it?" I mumble, looking back up at her eyes.

"Not sure. Late. You slept most of all day yesterday, so it's probably not even five in the morning yet." Sana replies, shifting so that she's lying on her hands. I almost shiver at the reminder that her hands were definitely planning something, and she doesn't care, but she didn't mean to. So it won't happen again. I think.

"Oh. Since it's late," I drag my words out. "I should just stay here, right?"

"Only if you want to." Sana smiles kindly. I make my final decision, relaxing into the pillow as I stare up at the ceiling. It's silent for a long while with only Sana's soft breathing (and Nayeon's snoring, but I'll ignore that) filling the room. I close my eyes, thinking about Momo, and what Jinyoung's plan is, and even what I'll do now that I've matured. My thoughts won't calm down, and I'm sure it's been a long time since I lost spoke, but I attempt asking something of Sana that I would typically be shy about.

"Sana?"

"Yes, Dahyunnie?"

"Can you sing for me?" I hear Sana moving and when I glance over at her, I notice her staring at me. 

"Okay." It's me not thinking too straight at all, but I turn completely until my face is near her chest. I swear that I can hear her heart pounding against her chest, but that's probably my imagination. Sana is always confident.

Her voice is soft, careful, and soothing, words falling from her lips so slowly that I'm immediately drawn into her. Some words I can't understand, but it's not a bother to me at all. Sana's voice is very nice, and it reminds me of home in a way. I exhale, breathing in vanilla before shutting my eyes.

I wake up to a pleasant smell, and kind of cold. When I sit up, I notice that Sana is no longer beside me, and the other three beds in the room no longer have anyone occupying them. So everyone should be awake, then. I don't take too much time to gather with everyone else in a room that's become quite popular over the past few weeks. 

The first person my eyes decide to drift to is Momo. She still looks sleepy as Jeongyeon dries her short hair, every now and then having to wake Momo up (I know that they had a couple of issues before yesterday, so I hope they've made up). It's worrying, but cute. She probably has absolutely no clue what happened.

Jihyo, Tzuyu, and Nayeon are in the kitchen. I watch them from afar not wanting to disturb them or distract them. Tzuyu flicks water into Nayeon's face a couple of times while Jihyo scolds them, and it makes me feel a little bit better that none of them are too affected by the fact that I basically destroyed the training room.

Still, none of it makes too much sense to me. I was taught that Zodiacs mature randomly, but why was I triggered to mature right then in an elevator? I'm sure that it wasn't the panic running through me. Or maybe it was. I haven't studied Zodiacs like Jinyoung has, how would I know?

I shake my thoughts away and turn back to Momo. She's been there for me the several times that I haven't felt well, so I should try being there for her. Jeongyeon runs her fingers through Momo's now dry hair with a satisfied smile before standing up and gathering everything that she had in her arms to put away I presume. I take this is an invitation, sitting down behind her and taking a couple of strands of hair in between my fingers. Momo sighs, leaning back into my hands, and I smile, "Good morning."

"Is it good?" Momo questions, her eyes slipping shut once again. "I feel like shit."

"Me too," I comment, beginning to braid Momo's hair just to let it fall apart. "A lot happened yesterday, huh?"

"A lot is an understatement." Momo replies groggily. 

"Right," I pause when I notice Sana settling down in front of Momo, taking her face into her hands with a... it's a dumb expression to say the least. "Good morning, Sana."

"Good morning! I hope you two are feeling better," even though I can't see Momo, I know she rolled her eyes. It's a thing between Sana and Momo, and even Mina. They tease each other like that. "Come on, Momoring, don't be like that. I'm worried about my older sister." Sana winks and Momo groans.

"You're so annoying. But I know. Shouldn't you be more worried about Dahyun?"

"You know about that?" I ask, my voice quiet.

"Jeongyeon told me." 

"Oh."

"Anyway, I'm worried about both of you. Dahyunnie kind of passed out yesterday and you were so out of it that Jackson had to carry you to your room," Sana releases Momo's face in favour of grabbing her hands. "That maturing thing is scary. And so is Jinyoung. I don't see the point in drugging someone innocent."

"Jeongyeon also told me about the drugging thing. Why'd he do it?" Momo shifts in front of me.

"Something about you being defective. It's really dumb," Sana's voice trails off, dropping her hands in front of her. "Just so you guys know, I love you all. Like, I realize that it hasn't been long at all since we've met, but I really do love you, Dahyun," my heart flutters I think, but Sana is quick to rephrase herself. "Like a friend! Everyone here is my friend I hope."

"I'm not the type to express my feelings easily," I admit, finally beginning to braid her hair in fervor. "But I think I love you all, too. Love is when you care about someone a lot, right?"

"Usually," Momo hums softly. "But it's a bit more than that in my opinion."

"Elaborate?" Sana makes a face.

"I love you, right?" Sana beams, and Momo rolls her eyes once more. "I know I'll regret this, but I love a lot of these girls here. Even though I barely know them, I'd take a bullet for them because I feel that they're nice. I feel that they'd do the same for me," Momo's words aren't hard to take in because I understand that. I doubt that they'd take a bullet for me, but I know that I'd take one for each and everyone of them. I'd for sure take one, maybe even two if I'm lucky, for Momo. And Sana. Those two are something different to me right now. "Jihyo is no different to me. Sure, she's completely human and all, but she cares about us. You can see it in her eyes."

"Momoring, you've opened up a lot since coming here." Sana's smile softens. I smile as well because, well, how could I not? There's so much that we've been through so far and the fact that we're all beginning to slowly open up is... it's something amazing I think. Though Jeongyeon is still hidden away most of the time, only ever letting herself loose around Mina, Momo, Sana, and now Nayeon. Momo was the same. It fills me with a bit of hope that not everything will be bad here.

After some more teasing from Sana and Momo returning it, I dismiss myself to check on the youngest two. They typically reside in our room, so I don't have to look too far. The door isn't shut, which it usually isn't, and Chaeyoung is sitting across from Tzuyu on Tzuyu's bed, pronouncing Korean so slowly that I'm left with no doubt that she's helping Tzuyu. It's endearing to know that Chae tries taking care of her.

"Tzuyu, you're practicing?" I ask, leaning on the doorway.

"Dahyun, you're not resting?" Tzuyu returns smoothly. Chaeyoung shifts as well, a smile coming to rest upon her lips.

"You got me there. I rested a lot yesterday. Was it yesterday?" I laugh. "Maybe not enough though. But I'll be alright. Mina was fine-"

"Mina didn't wear herself out." Chaeyoung scolds. I nod.

"And you got me there again. You were back on your feet after a day though, so I should be fine, right?" Chaeyoung points towards my bed and I get the message. 

"Alright, alright. But talk to me for a bit, will you? I'm kind of restless," I request as I attempt to relax back onto my pillow. "Or you could continue teaching Tzuyu. It's the sound that I like." I add, my memory drifting back to when Sana sang to me. She has a beautiful voice, something I didn't expect. It isn't like you can look at someone and just automatically assume that they've got a great singing voice. I shut my eyes when Chaeyoung tells me that she'll talk to me occasionally, but I find that I want Sana's perfume enveloping me, and I want to hear her singing or just talking nonsense into my ear. And I want Momo holding me like she did when I was nervous, and I want to hold her hand and just stop thinking. 

Something's definitely changed with Sana. Things have always been this way with Momo I think, but I was iffy about Sana. Sure, I let her feed me our first day here, it was a way to test the water, but I decided to shrink back into myself after. I was probably influenced by Jeongyeon, but either way, it was my choice and it was wise. After my... anxiety attack, I believed that if I distanced myself away from everyone else, I'd be safer and they would too. 

But I became lonelier and I hate to admit it, but I felt more empty. The only time that I would feel would be when I got upset or when I felt so nervous I could surely throw up. It didn't last long with Momo being, well, Momo, and Sana being so persistent. Chaeyoung and Tzuyu were in the mix as well; those two helped me open up on our way to church. We tricked Jackson (Chaeyoung's idea) a couple of times and Chaeyoung told so many terrible jokes that I couldn't help but open up with a wide smile and loud laughter. Tzuyu has always been very quiet. But it's different when she's with Chaeng. She even joined in the on the terrible jokes, and despite her quiet nature, I believed that she was absolutely hilarious.

All of this serves to make me want to change. But then I matured and suddenly I want nothing more than to shrink back into myself because I'm afraid I'll hurt someone. And though Momo tries telling me I won't, I still believe strongly that I will. If I can destroy an entire room that's been around since I wasn't even born, then I can surely accidentally hurt a person. 

Guilt fills my lungs as I try listening closer to Chaeyoung's words.

"Love."

"Love?" Tzuyu's voice lilts, and I guess that she's happy that she pronounced it right. I almost laugh, and I'm sure it wouldn't have been anything but bitter.

Love isn't something I believe I deserve. So the fact that Sana and Momo say that they love me, and Jihyo, too... It makes me mad. So mad that I feel kind of sick. I shut my eyes tighter, tightening my grip around the sheet.

"Dahyun?"

"Yes?"

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: hello! I may have to go on a very short hiatus (1 week max) due to some things currently going on, but if I do, I promise it won't be long! And I'll return with the same regular update schedule but with some more chapters that I hope are better quality! Thank you for the support.


	15. release

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello asdkljg;s i just wanna apologize for short chapters i have a bit of writers block :))))

CHOU TZUYU'S P.O.V.  
****  
With three girls of the eight in our dorm already matured, I've noticed that I feel more nervous lately. Though the weeks that continue to pass have been normal for the most part, with Jinyoung and Jackson checking in on us sometimes, and his staff working hard to rebuild the training room, I can't help but feel like there's something hiding underneath all of this. 

Mina, Chaeyoung, and Dahyun often travel to JYPE together now to talk to Jinyoung about God only knows what. Jihyo goes along with them sometimes, but not too often. My guess is because she's afraid Sana will do something to Jeongyeon and Jeongyeon will probably kill her while she's away.

That's another thing. Jeongyeon seemingly argues with Jihyo less and less, and she offers to help Jihyo more. Momo has noticed too. I was helping her wash the dishes after breakfast one morning, and it slipped from her mouth. I know that she doesn't like opening up to anyone, so it had to be an accident. But nevertheless, I talked to her, and I did my very best to help her out. I've never been amazing at comforting people though.

Momo has become more upset, too. Her eyes lack luster unless she's around Dahyun, and sometimes Mina. And Mina is the exact opposite. She's still afraid to touch anyone, but she's trying to get out of it. Chaeyoung never cared too much about hurting anyone. Of course, she still thought she would, but from what I know, she believed that if she kept a positive mind, she'd control it better. So she didn't think about the negative aspect after the first week of maturing. 

Dahyun is different. She's more like Mina, always terrified that she'll mess up. She'll touch people, but when her breathing becomes labored, she'll lock herself away in our room or the basement for hours at a time. It's natural for all of us to be worried about the others who will mature along with the ones already matured. 

I know that it's inevitable, and that I'll mature as well at some point, and that terrifies me to no end. I'm an adult here in Korea, but at home, I'm still a child. And in my heart I'm still a child. I work on instruction and guidance, not freedom and trust. Freedom and trust aren't anything bad, no, I love them, but I can't function like that. So I'm glad that Jihyo has somewhat of a leader role over us. 

If you allow me to run free, I'll no doubt mess up because I don't know what to do after a while. And that's what I believe maturing would do. In this dorm, you're free to roam wherever. You can go out on the streets that JYPE owns as long as it's within the walls, and you can go to JYPE's building. You can mature and as long as you don't lose control, they'll let you free with a couple training sessions every now and then.

Instruction and guidance is what Jihyo provides. Jihyo talks with Mina, Chaeyoung, and Dahyun, and she never allows them to be upset. If they are, she'll stay with them for hours on end trying to make them laugh, and she'll always reassure them that she doesn't mind if they mess up. 

Instruction and guidance is what my parents provided. When I worked with my mother at her cafe, she always told me what to do. And she learned so much about Zodiacs while I was still really young so that she could educate me more. School always taught the bad things about them, so of course I'm afraid. We all were. Though school provided what I prefer, I didn't like it. It was the bad kind of instruction.

She never was afraid that I'd suddenly mature while talking to customers, and that I'd lose it because she knew. She understood a lot. And that gave me some relief. My dad was around, but not too much. He provided my mother and me with what we needed, and when he did come around, he stayed for a while. 

He was well educated on Zodiacs as well. He worked with a few, so he didn't think they were bad. Truth be told, I miss them. I miss them with all of my being because I'm still a child, and I want nothing more than to be back at home with my parents and my family. I miss Gucci, and I miss the cafe, and I miss my mother's coworkers. I miss it all.

Korea is hard.

I understand Korean, but it's hard to completely comprehend it sometimes, so I often lose myself in everyone's words, or when it gets too loud and I can't understand anything, I get frustrated. Chaeng has been helping me a lot, and I often study with the other foreign Zodiacs. Sana is always up for studying, but Momo has been partial to the gym lately, and Mina is too worried that she'll burn something to study. I understand that their intentions aren't ill, but it's upsetting.

All of this is upsetting.

"Damn, kid," Momo laughs under her breath as she holds tightly onto the punching bag. "You know there's more than just this, right?"

"Obviously," I shrug, wiping the sweat from my forehead. "I can't hit anything else though."

"Right," Momo shakes her head. 

I'm not one for violence, definitely not, but Momo had recommended going to the gym with her to work out stress. I admit that I was surprised at first, but out of everyone that had to come to Korea, Momo has understood the most. She knew that I was pent up. And so I swing my fist once again, my knuckles sliding against the glove just slightly as the bag shifts back violently before Momo steadies it, "Why did you invite me?"

"When I was your age," she pauses to release the bag. "I used to work out a lot. Usually for different reasons than stress, but that's not the point. When I was stressed, Jeong would go with me, and we'd do what we're doing right now. It helps, doesn't it?"

"In a way. I'm not violent,"

"Could have fooled me with the way you're punching that bag," it's a joke, I think, so I laugh. "But I believe you. I don't think anyone of us are super violent or anything. Even Jeong. She's a huge softie, I promise."

"Is she?" I stretch out my arms before grabbing my water bottle and downing nearly half of it. 

"Definitely. Just look at her. The blue hair tops it all off."

"She looks good."

"Right? She pulls off anything. Even the whole building walls thing. But that's what a lot of us have done, huh?" Momo sits down next to me, crossing her legs and brushing her hair back with her hand. 

"You've noticed?"

"Of course. I do it too."

"You're talking to me about it though." I deadpan, glancing away from her for a second. Momo is intense, no doubt.

"Talking about it isn't opening up," Momo shrugs. "Talking is talking. Opening up is me falling to my knees late one night because I feel so broken and I'm so afraid that I won't be good enough," she polishes her sentence off with another laugh, but it's disheartening. "But that? I'll never let it happen."

"You talk as if it'll be real."

"What I think is real. But expressing it is so, so different my dear," Momo raises her eyebrows as she stands back up. "So I'll express it on anything and everything here. You coming?"

"Okay."

About twenty more minutes there, and Jackson appears at the doorway with instructions from Jinyoung to take us back home. Which, really, I understand his reasoning behind it. With so many of the girls maturing so suddenly, it's only natural to take precaution. But wouldn't precaution be him watching over us just in case something does happen? He is the owner of JYPE after all. 

We spend too much time at the dorm. Even through my classes with the other foreigners, and Chaeyoung, we spend too much time here. And now that Jinyoung is so nervous (he must be anyway), we can't stay too long at JYPE. I know that the room that Chaeyoung matured in was Momo's favourite room, so she must be upset that she can't spend however much time she wants to in there.

It was common of Momo to try and sneak out of the dorm without Jihyo calling Jackson. She'd bring Dahyun, sometimes Sana, but never Mina. And I always believed that they were close, but apparently not. 

Mina was the first person I became close to here many weeks ago. Sana talked to me, of course she did, but Mina understood in silence. The first few days here, we found comfort in each other. But since Mina matured, she's more silent, more erratic. She locks herself away more, very rarely coming out to talk to Jihyo or Jackson if he shows up.

But if Momo talks about Mina like she's the entire world to her, why are they not close? No. It has to be because something happened. Was it Mina's maturation? Maybe. 

Closeness isn't something many of us have found in one another.

Chaeyoung hasn't shown much fear at all. When she matured, Jihyo told me that she talked to her that night. And that her main worry was me. As touching as it is, I would prefer her thinking about herself and her health. 

She volunteered to help me with homework. And I think things moved from there because she never tried talking to me before. Sometimes I wonder why her cheeks are so red, but when I think about it, it is becoming hotter outside lately. Still, she stutters over her words and she rarely looks me in the eye. Chaeyoung is... She's cute. And I'm very glad that she's my friend.

It's not that I can't trust anyone here because I can. I can allow myself to trust anyone I want, but I refuse to. My main worry is getting back to my parents. I don't care if I mature, I don't care if I can control whatever element I'll control. I want my family.

A few days ago, Jihyo took me up to the roof of the dorm. She told me that she takes comfort in being up here, and that the wind that's always there is so nice. I suppose I believe her though because as I relaxed with her by my side, I finally felt carefree. 

So I find myself here at least once a day with Jihyo when she isn't busy. 

"The weather is really nice today," Jihyo comments, holding her arms out. I nod even though she can't see me.

"Won't you fall like that?" Jihyo's eyes open and she steps back from the edge.

"I do it all the time," she smiles kindly. "Thank you for your concern though. Even if I fall, I won't get too hurt. We're not too far up."

"Are you sure?" I raise an eyebrow, glancing to the ground that is, well, it's quite far down. 

"Yep. Won't you fall?" I roll my eyes, but smile anyway. 

"You're clever, Jihyo."

"You have to be when you're taking care of eight Zodiacs."

"Aren't you afraid? You're completely human." I question, experimentally waving my hand in the wind.

"I'm not afraid of any of you if that's what you're asking," I open my mouth to ask another question, but she seems to understand. "Even Jeongyeon. Believe it or not, I've taken note of how you all act. I understand each and everyone of you. You won't hurt me."

"I won't," there's a silent promise hidden under my words. "But you're totally sure about everyone else?" I don't mean to seem so skeptic, but accidents can happen.

"I'm sure." It goes quiet once more. I shut my eyes, embracing the soft breeze.

I love the roof not because Jihyo is with me but because I feel weightless when I'm up here. And I can take my mind off of my family for just a minute. Even though it isn't long at all, I still treasure it because my heart slows down and my chest doesn't feel so tight. 

Air. That's the element I'll control eventually.

Then there's the reason why I enjoy being up here so much then. Dahyun never showed any preference towards air than any other element though. Dahyun's different compared to all of us. Or that's what I think at least. She's not as calm as Chae is, but she isn't as wild as Jeongyeon or Momo. The perfect balance between them despite being so messy. Maybe that's why the universe chose her to be an air sign. 

"Tzuyu," Jihyo's voice brings me down from my head. "You're floating in the air, sweetie," It's then that I realize that I truly do feel weightless. I open my eyes and take in how it feels to be hovering. "You're maturing, I believe." I feel Jihyo's hand at the small of my back, the pulsing in my wrist not as strong as I thought it'd be.

"This is maturing?" I laugh quietly, thinking hard about how to let myself drop.

"You're calmer than Dahyun," she mentions. "I understand that you miss your family, but you're not as, ah, broken as Dahyun feels. It was natural for her maturation to be more aggressive and sudden."

"You know that I miss them?" Jihyo guides me down with her hands, still holding on tight when I'm back on my feet.

"Of course I do. You're only a child," I make a quiet sound, ignoring how as soon as I'm back on my feet, my chest tightens again. I miss them so much. "We should get you back into the dorm before something happens, but Tzuyu?" I turn to look at her, my nerves beginning to bite at me. "Even if you don't want to accept us," she pauses and I nod carefully. "We could be your second family. We all care for you, and you won't be away from your own long."

"I thought you didn't know that?"

"I don't. But visits are a thing, and I'll do everything in my power to help you see your parents if you want."

"Jihyo?" 

"Yes?"

"Can I see my dog, too? He, um, he makes me feel better."

"Of course. Everything will be okay here, I promise. We're here to help you." With another smile and her hand on my back, we climb back down to go back into the dorm.

It's a quick, simple conversation, but comforting nevertheless. Jeongyeon says Jihyo isn't a good person to listen to, but I believe she is. And I trust Jihyo. She's a kind soul.


	16. lie

IM NAYEON'S P.O.V.  
****  
"God, your hair is a total fucking mess," Momo laughs as she continues rinsing the shampoo from it.

"Yeah, make fun of the girl that was homeless for years," I roll my eyes, but laugh anyway. "Turn around, I wanna help you." Momo complies with only one grumble of complaint. The complaining means nothing I think. Momo likes being taken care of, no matter what she says.

"You know I didn't mean it, right?" She clears her throat as my fingers work into her hair.

"No, you meant it. But I'm alright with it. It's just a joke. I'm not homeless now,"

"You're too compliant."

"Compliant?"

"Whatever. I'm foreign. Leave me alone." Momo scoffs. I smile once more.

That was comfort.

But having to deal with shaky hands and jagged movements as the ground rocks against your feet, and animals that enjoy crowding around you. Don't forget the company of wires hooked around you, all of this, it isn't comfort.

It takes a month for the training room to be rebuilt.

It takes exactly two weeks later for me to nearly destroy it again.

I was in a training session with Dahyun (and Chaeyoung, but she got angry and left. The girl has a temper like Jeongyeon's sometimes). Jinyoung was behind me, his hands touching my wrist, the one with the mark, and I was too uncomfortable. I couldn't relax like he wanted me to. So I assume it was only natural for my body to decide that, hey, I should definitely fucking wreck everything.

Luckily Jinyoung stopped me before I could wear myself out or do too much damage. And it wasn't good for Dahyun because the poor girl is already anxiety ridden. From the bit I can remember, Dahyun had another anxiety attack. I'll blame myself for that. It eats me up sometimes because she's young. She's a fragile, small girl and I'm not any help to her.

The same goes for all of the girls here. I'm the oldest if I remember correctly. That means that I should take care of them, right? 

But I can't. Jihyo typically takes the lead. Jeongyeon does sometimes, but not as often. Since we've matured, Jihyo is on her toes constantly. She always has been, but I've noticed that she rarely takes a break now. Sometimes she rests on the roof with Tzuyu, sometimes she goes down to the basement. But it never lasts long. 

If Jinyoung isn't calling her, then it's Jackson, or Somi. And then you have the fact that Mina is still struggling with coping, and Tzuyu just matured last month, and it's a complete mess for all of us. As soon as the training room was built, stronger than before, Jinyoung scheduled all four of the girls that have already matured to arrive. I'm not sure what went on, but Chaeyoung returned differently than she left.

So two weeks ago when Chaeyoung was doing the best that she could to not rock the ground under her, and Jinyoung told her to try curling her fingers, I suppose it was natural for her to be angry that the ground jerked so violently. Chaeyoung isn't the type for violence. She's calmer than most, preferring to talk things out rather than using actions. Jinyoung is the type for action. Any type of action. I learned that through his directions with them, and with Dahyun's shaky words.

Dahyun doesn't know what she's doing. She likes to hide away, to pretend like things won't get out of hand eventually. I'd like that, too. But I'm not as in control as the others are, having matured later than they did. Even Tzuyu has more control than I do. The only time she has trouble controlling herself is when she's talking to Jihyo late at night, surely crying because she misses her parents. It's heartbreaking to me.

I understand being taken away if you've moved away from your parents. I understand it if you're an actual adult. But Tzuyu, Chaeyoung, and Dahyun... They're all still kids. Dahyun is twenty-one, but she's still innocent. Chaeyoung is barely twenty. I know that in other countries, it's different, so that's what makes this feel different. Chaeyoung is nineteen somewhere else in the world. And Tzuyu is eighteen. Surely that's too young.

Jeongyeon is older than everyone else here if you forget about me. And she acts like it I think. When she isn't getting angry at Jinyoung, she acts like it. All of them act older than they should. No doubt because they had to grow up quicker. 

I don't like thinking about myself, but I believe that I definitely had to grow up quicker. I was left out on the streets as soon as my parents thought JYPE would come and find me. They didn't want anyone to see me, someone related to them, being taken away because they're (I'm) screwed up. 

I don't talk to a lot of people about what I feel. Even Jihyo. If I do, I keep it minimum. But I don't think I've completely opened up when it comes to my thoughts. It's not that I can't, because I can, Jihyo is really nice and forgiving, and so is Jeong, and Momo, and-

All of them would understand. I know they would.

But to me, it's hard to get the words out because I feel like I'll choke every time I try talking to them about it. Maybe I could write it on paper. But words never come easy when I think about it.

Jinyoung taught us that our emotions affect the way we mature, and when. I suppose it makes sense. Everyone knows that Mina matured because she was thinking about her family, and everyone knows that Dahyun felt nervous the day she matured. Chaeyoung... We don't know about her. We just know that she was hanging out with Tzuyu when it happened. We know about Tzuyu, too. My heart aches for her.

I matured in the training room simply because when Jinyoung touched my wrist, it reminded me of home and when my sister would hold my wrists when I felt nervous before going on stage for whatever musical I wanted to try that week. And I get that we're not supposed to feel, but how am I supposed to ignore it? 

I don't remember what I did, but I remember waking up in the dorm with Jihyo sitting by me. 

We talked. It's that simple. I told her why, but I didn't go into much detail. Naturally, I made the room tremor, not too violently, so I stopped talking. Anytime I think too much, it happens. It could be a very soft tremor, or a quick, violent motion that makes me, and everyone else around me stumble. 

Either way, I'm afraid. I'm not scared to admit it because I know I am. Anyone in their right mind would be terrified. Even though it's been nearly two months, I'm still scared. I don't know Jinyoung as well as I should. Though he still hasn't tried doing whatever it was he was planning with Momo again, there's something about him that makes me feel like he's not right. I'll call it a gut feeling.

I like going to the garden with Jeongyeon when I can. Or the room with the butterflies with Jihyo. Sometimes it's just the gym with Momo that I like. When I go with Jeongyeon, I don't think as much. Jeongyeon is good at giving distractions. And she's good at making me angry because she still cuts whatever rose she wants off (lately I've seen a lot of roses near Jihyo's bed, but I won't mention it). And when I go with Jihyo, I feel calm because it's just her presence. Jihyo is good at keeping me calm. And when I am with Momo, I can take whatever I feel out on any of the equipment Momo wants me to use.

When I'm upset, I hang out with Chaeyoung and Dahyun in their room, or I'll watch puppy videos with Tzuyu (she really likes dogs. Reminder to myself: get the girl a dog one day). I'll play a game with Mina when I want an escape, and I'll hang around at JYPE's pool (I'm not getting in there; it's too deep) with Sana if I just wanna talk. Sana is probably the best to talk to when you want to feel something other than hopelessness. Sana is good for fun. 

Throughout these two months, we've all become closer. It's the only thing we can do when we're alone. Each and every one of the girls have a certain dynamic with each other. None of them are the same either. How Jeongyeon protects Momo, Chaeyoung protects Tzuyu. But it's different. Jeongyeon is more aggressive. Or rather she's so assertive it makes her seem aggressive (Jeongyeon is a complete sweetheart. You've just got to dig past her layers). Chaeyoung is softer with Tzuyu. I'll think that it's because she's the youngest, but either way, it's nice to see everyone getting along well.

Jihyo is someone I look up to. Though it wasn't easy, they all got closer to her. Jihyo had to deal with constant arguments between Jeongyeon and herself, and she had to deal with the fact that Momo wasn't eating, only ever sleeping or doing harm to herself, and Mina being afraid. She had to deal with all of us. She still has to, but we try making it easier on her.

Last month was more difficult than it is now. Jeongyeon was a lot more wild, constantly lashing out at anyone and everyone. Now she's mellower, only ever snapping at Jinyoung when she believes he's treating Jihyo wrongly, or if he tries going too close to Momo. Jeongyeon is someone I also admire. I want to be as strong as she is someday. 

It's loud for once.

I can hear the girls somewhere in the house, yelling and swearing, but it's not bad. They're playing games together. Jeongyeon asked me if I wanted to play, but I had to turn her down unfortunately. It was out of fear that somehow I'd begin thinking again and I'd ruin things for them. 

So I guess I should have expected Jihyo to knock on the door about ten minutes into my bath (there's bubbles. Momo recommended them). It's easy to tell that it's her before she even speaks; she always knocks twice, firm and slow. I don't care to let her in because I trust Jihyo. It took no time at all for me to warm up to her when I first came here. 

But she looks nervous, even as I gather some bubbles into my hand and blow them at her, "Nayeon,"

"Hm?"

"Do you need help?"

"Help? No," I hum softly, relaxing back into the warm water. "You know Momo recommended these bubbles. They're so nice."

"It looks like it."

"You're nervous," I mention and Jihyo bites her lip. Definitely nervous. "Why's that? I don't bite."

"I know," she smiles, but it looks a bit forced. My heart nearly lurches. "I've got my reasons to be nervous, but hopefully this time it won't happen. How are you lately?" Before I can ask her about her reasons, she changes the topic. I huff, shrugging.

"I'm alright."

"Are you? You haven't talked to anyone that much since you, um, matured."

"Honestly, you probably know why. It's scary," I reply smoothly. Talking about my maturation isn't as hard as talking about my parents. "Or maybe not. You're human and all. You don't have to go through it."

"Right," another lip bite and now I'm even getting nervous. Jihyo is typically very composed and easygoing. "You know I don't mean to pry, but I care about your well-being. There's something off about you."

"You always can see right through me," I smile, sitting up. Jihyo looks away quickly, her cheeks turning red. I almost laugh, but decide against it. "I trust you, you know. But it's hard to think about. Or rather, talk about."

"We don't have to if you don't want to-"

"I want to. But like I said, it's hard. If you don't mind a few messy tears here and there, I'll try," It's a quick, simple joke. Complying to Jihyo even when she isn't asking much has always been so, so easy. 

"Are you sure?"

"You asked, didn't you?" She cringes and I'm quick to reassure her. "I didn't mean to sound like that. What I mean is that obviously I'm comfortable enough to try and get the words out. And it's better than me running away from everyone, isn't it?" A nod. I contemplate grabbing some more bubbles but decide against it. It'd be dumb to do right now. And immature. Whichever.

"I was homeless for a while. You know that, don't you?" Jihyo goes to reply, but I assure her that it's a rhetorical question. I know she knows; Jihyo knows a lot about me. "Sometimes it gets to me that they didn't want me is all." I try to shrug it off, but I find my throat tight and my voice shaky. Admitting it was harder than I thought it'd be, no matter how quick or simple I tried saying it. 

"Nayeon," Jihyo's voice becomes quiet, a distant distraction compared to the yelling surrounding the dorm. It draws me in, only serving to make my chest even tighter and my hands shakier. "Darling, we want you. We all want you here."

"For now maybe," I tell her, my words as sincere and steady as they can be. I clench my hand into a fist beside of my thigh, internally swearing at my mind. It never can calm down. "But a couple of years from now?"

"Fifty years from now." Jihyo strides over to me, enveloping my body into a hug, and it doesn't sink in that she's definitely becoming soaked by the second. I bite my lip harshly, digging my nails into the skin of my thighs.

"Please don't worry about me," my words are muffled against her shoulder. Jihyo simply runs a hand up and down my back, slow and careful, as if she's seeking permission.

"I'll worry about you all I want. How long have you kept this in?" She leans back, looking into my eyes with such sincerity that I almost sob.

"Since I was small," I clear my throat and bring my hand up to wipe at my eyes. "Living in a house doesn't mean they care. I used to go to an old friend's house a lot when I got really hungry or when I wanted to get away from my mom's yelling," the words that fall from my mouth seemingly cause the atmosphere to grow darker. I can't think or stop them either, and my head is spinning still even as my stomach twists violently. "Jihyo," I choke over her name, the ground beneath me lurching me up into the air. I still can't think, my limbs weak, and the only thing I can find myself able to do is allow my body do what it wants.

I can just barely hear Jihyo swear, and I'm not in the air long I don't think, because there's warmth enveloping my body. Even as I open my eyes, I can't see anything; everything is too bright and too many things are happening too quickly, and it isn't until I'm grounded with Jihyo holding me to her chest that I notice a mark, very dull and surely covered up, pulsing against her wrist.

"Nayeon?" Jihyo's voice, still muffled, rings through my ears as I close my eyes once more. I want to stay awake, to ask Jihyo what happened, to ask her why she has a mark, I want to ask her so many things. I want to learn. I want to stop thinking again. I want to be happy.

I don't know how long I'm out. I groan as I sit up, looking around the room quickly. The window is open, and it's daylight. It doesn't look super early either. I yawn, lifting my arms above my head before panicking and slowly moving them back down. The last thing I want is to fuck things up again.

As I rub my face, I remember Jihyo's mark. I remember something embracing me and pulling me back down. Did Jihyo do that? No. She's human.

God, what the fuck.

Then why does she have a mark? How did she hide it? What sign is she? Too many questions take over my mind. It makes it more difficult to relax.

I opened up to her, didn't I? She lied though. But she's so genuine. Why would she lie to us all? We could have related to her, we could have trusted her quicker. She must have some reason for it. Jihyo doesn't seem like the type to want to hurt us.

I swear before I hear someone clearing their throat. I look up to see Jihyo holding a tray in front of her with what I really hope is food. I still can't see too straight, "Did you rest well?"

"Um, yeah," I mumble. I should ask her about the mark. Or maybe not. That might make her run. Or Jinyoung could fire her. Wait, does he know? Screw it. "Jihyo? Why didn't you tell us that you're a Zodiac?" Jihyo pauses, eyes wide and hands frozen as she finishes setting the tray down.

"Pardon?"

"You have a mark. Yesterday," I shake my head. "Or whenever it was. Did you help me?"

"You were probably dreaming," Jihyo begins. I cut her off intentionally.

"I'm not mad. But I'm not saying the others will be all fine with it," Especially Jeong. She'll hate it. I don't want to even know how she'll react. "Why lie to us?"

"You should eat something-"

"Jihyo, please? I trust you."

With a slow, deep sigh, Jihyo finally relents, "Protection. That's all I can say right now. Please don't tell the others," I go to speak, but she quickly finishes. "It'd put them in danger as well. It's bad enough that you know."

"Danger? That's insane, Jihyo. Did I hurt you or something?"

"No. Please believe me. I know that this is crazy, and that you probably don't believe me, but I really cannot afford to have any of you harmed. I wouldn't be able to live with myself."

"I believe you," I tell her, and she relaxes. "But I'd like an explanation some time please."

"When I can," she promises. "Thank you, Nayeon, but I really can't right now."

"What sign?"

"Aquarius." A chill runs through my body. There aren't many of them recently if what Jinyoung says is true. Is that why she kept this a secret? 

"Things will be different now, huh?" It's a small joke, entertaining to me, but lacking true humor. Jihyo nods, and I can only take the information in. If Jihyo has helped me countless times, then I should be able to help her for once.

I glance down at my hands and shake my head one more time. None of this seems real yet.


	17. touch

YOO JEONGYEON'S P.O.V.  
****  
Nayeon matured. Which only means that I'm getting a day closer to maturing myself. And Momo. I'm not dumb enough to try and make myself think that she won't. I hate the thought. Momo should be left alone, to be innocent and alright. But once she matures, she'll change like the rest have. Each one of them have become darker.

It started with Mina. The girl has a dark past, which influenced her personality after she matured I believe. Still, she's afraid to even talk to any of us. She used to come to me for comfort when we were younger. It was my job to comfort all three of them, and I did well I hope. But Mina finds comfort in the room she shares with Nayeon, Sana, and Jihyo now.

Next was Chaeyoung. She used humor to replace any negative thing she felt. Maybe that's why we got along so well. I replaced my desperation with anger and the same humor Chaeng did. Still, she changed. It was a gradual shift in personality and the way she acted, but it was there. She's sadder than she used to be.

And then Dahyun. From the start, there was something off. She tries to be happy, and when she isn't struggling with herself, she does hang around us. But since maturing, her anxiety has gotten so bad that I can't do anything but want to help her. That's all I can say about her. She's sad, like Chaeyoung, but it's a different kind of sad.

Tzuyu has always been quiet, seeking comfort in Jihyo, Mina, and sometimes Sana. Only last month she became close to Chaeyoung, resulting in the two going out too late at night and staying out way past curfew. I want to say that it's Chaeyoung's idea because I don't like the thought of Tzuyu wanting to run away. But of course it's her. Tzuyu escapes by taking risks, I've learned.

And Nayeon. Nayeon didn't mature as abruptly as the others did. It was slow, not too aggressive, like Dahyun's. Her maturation happened in a training session if what Jihyo says is correct. She says that it was more like Tzuyu's, surprising but not so unsettling it makes you sick. Nayeon opened up quicker than most. She enjoyed Momo's company, and Jihyo's, and sometimes I think she even appreciated mine. But something happened a couple of days ago that made her want to shell up like Mina and Dahyun.

It's in my nature to care about her, and to worry and want to make sure she's alright. And I do, quite often at that.

There was a month between Tzuyu maturing and Nayeon. So it seems like the universe likes to surprise us. And, of course, being able to make water fly from your fucking hands is surprising enough, so I can barely handle it when I'm minding my very own business in one of my (Momo's) world famous bubble baths and water comes shooting from my fingertips. I wish it was the bubble bath. 

I don't freak out. This was inevitable. 

The most logical thing I did was clean up the bathroom before someone called Jinyoung. They probably wouldn't think someone matured, but still. The last thing I want is for Jackson to drag me out. I don't think I'd fight as much as I used to.

So I sit myself in front of Jihyo later that night and simply make myself angry by thinking about Momo. I accidentally soaked the front of her shirt, but she was quick to forgive. Maybe that's why I care about Jihyo so much now. Either way, she made sure to call Jinyoung and tell him what happened.

It's not any better than someone else calling Jinyoung. Or at least I had thought that. Up until I heard Jinyoung request Jihyo to bring me up there herself. It takes three days until he's completely free, which is, really, kind of stupid because if someone matures, shouldn't he see them first thing?

From what I can tell, I already have more control over my element than the others did. Tzuyu was great at learning how to control it, quicker than most, and I don't mean to brag, but I swear it ended up being easier than I thought it would. All I have to do is think about things I don't typically like to think about, and won't you look at that, I become Katara.

I laugh at my own joke as Jihyo steps in front of me, "Can I blindfold you? It would help you trust-"

"Just do it." I bite my lip, eyeing Jihyo as she smiles softly at me. My heart leaps into my throat, and I hate how I'm still not used to this feeling. Even after countless times of kissing Jihyo in the silence of the bathroom late at night, or subtly holding her hand when I'm nervous, I'm not used to it.

Jihyo's fingers graze my cheek, cold and gentle, before darkness clouds my vision. I relax into both the soft fabric and Jihyo's slow movements, patiently waiting until she taps my lower back to let me know that she's finished, "So trust. Why do I have to trust?"

"To work with the other girls if needed. There's a company. YG. He doesn't treat his Zodiacs like he should, and therefore Jinyoung wants to take them. Would you be up for helping if something goes wrong?"

"Yeah." It's an easy, quick answer. Helping people is what I love to do.

"Then I need you to trust. Feel it on your fingertips," I don't have to think too hard to know what she means, and I sigh slowly as I focus on the feeling coursing through my veins. I feel wetness pool at my fingers, and I smile. I'm not afraid of what I can do. I'm not too special. "Good," Jihyo's voice sends a chill down my spine because I'm not expecting it, low, and bordering sensual in my ear. I swallow as her hand rests on my lower back once again. "You're not afraid of this like everyone else, are you?"

"No need to be." I reply, playing with the water in my hands. I freeze up when Jihyo laughs, her hot breath tickling the shell of my ear.

"Why is that?"

"You're here," I shrug, closing my eyes as I try focusing once more. It bothers me that I can't see, but I know that I'll be alright; Jihyo is with me. "And water is boring. Fire is better, is it not?"

"Is it?" Her once cold hand seemingly heats up against my skin, and I find it becoming harder and harder to concentrate. "Fire isn't as flexible. Of course, the most flexible of the elements is air, but water... water is something you need to keep constant control over. You're good at control, aren't you, Jeong?"

"I'm good with control," I laugh under my breath, but it gets cut short as Jihyo slides her hand up.

"Then stay in control of the water in your hands," her voice comes hard, and I nearly groan. Jihyo is starting a dangerous game, and yet, I don't think she knows what she's doing. "You have to learn to work with distractions, hm?" Her hand slides back down, pressing into the small of my back gently.

"I don't think that anyone in YG is gonna be touching me like this," I laugh once more to hide the heat pooling in the pit of my stomach as Jihyo's other hand rests on my hip.

"How do you know?"

"Intuition."

"You're letting the water drip. Use that intuition of yours to fix it," Jihyo's grip on my hip tightens, and I immediately try focusing on the water. I can't fucking see it though, but I can feel it slipping away to the floor, and it's driving me mad. I feel her lips right below my ear, and there's no denying the shiver that runs through my body. Everything is so much more sensitive, and I never will know what Jihyo will do next. She's unpredictable. "You're not focusing."

"It's hard to." I force out between clenched teeth, her nails scratching lightly at the skin there.

"I told you to work with distractions, did I not? Besides, I thought you had control, Jeong," Next it's her teeth grazing my neck, too soft, almost like they're barely there. I allow the water to fall onto the floor before swearing and reforming a puddle in my hands. "You can always tap out if you can't handle it."

"I can fucking handle it." It's not my temper getting the better of me this time, it's the fact that Jihyo most definitely knows what game she's playing now. Isn't she still too young to know these things? God. I try to separate the water between my fingers so that I can practice moving it forward and back to get some control over it, but Jihyo never stops touching me. Sometimes it's her lips, and sometimes it's her fingers, but the worst of it all is the way she speaks directly into my ear, commanding something out of me that I can't decipher. It's a silent dare, I suppose, resting right on the tip of her tongue waiting to spill over.

I close my eyes tighter, curling my hands into fists so that the water can freely travel above my hands. I can feel it on my skin, occassionally dripping, only serving to frustrate me further. I feel Jihyo in front of me then, too quick for me to think as her hands wrap around my wrists. She squeezes once, and I somehow recognize this as a request. I allow the water to fall just slightly, right over what I'm assuming are Jihyo's hands. She's demanding me to keep the water there, to not let it drip onto her. I bring my lip between my teeth as I think of my next movement.

Jihyo's hand, her left one I believe, comes to rest on my throat, and I can feel her smile. She squeezes once more, and I can't help but let the water drop. She returns back to resting against my throat, her thumb right under my chin as she leans closer to me (I can tell by the way her perfume becomes stronger). Her lips replace the hand on my throat, and I find my heart pounding, "Are you going to tap out?" She murmers against my skin. I'm sure that I could burn Jihyo with how hot my skin feels, and yet, she doesn't seem to mind at all.

"No," my voice falls from my lips, quiet and raspy. Jihyo smiles against me. "Jihyo," in any other situation, I would have cringed at how whiny my voice was, but this one? I trust Jihyo with my vulnerability, "Please."

"Please?" She repeats, asking something from me all while scratching along my hip.

"I don't care what you do," I rasp. "Just do something," And she complies, lips pressing against mine, gentle and holding something I can't comprehend. I sigh, relaxing into her hold again. My hands find themselves around the back of her neck with very little struggle as she presses me into a wall. It's cold against my skin, but Jihyo makes it easier to deal with as she only deepens the kiss, her hand trailing up my shirt. "The blindfold." I whisper between kisses, stuttering over my words.

"No," Jihyo replies, and her voice never fails to make me into a complete mess of a girl. "Isn't it better on? You feel a lot more, hm?"

I go to reply, but Jihyo suddenly pulls away from me, everything becoming cold, and then I hear the door of the elevator open. Did I not hear the noise from it? I swallow, my breath still uneven, as I untie the blindfold. It drops into my hands, and Nayeon comes into vision. I chew on my inner cheek as Jihyo greets her, acting completely normal and alright.

She's too composed.

"A blindfold? Someone has to say it," Nayeon's lips curl into a smirk and Jihyo has absolutely no time to stop her. "Kinky." I laugh loudly as Jihyo rubs her face with her hand.

"Nayeon, please," she sighs, though she's smiling. "Anyway, how are you? Good? Bad? Cold?"

"Honestly after that sight? A bit turned on," Jihyo drops her hand, staring at Nayeon blankly. I bite my lip again to keep from laughing. "I'm joking! I'm good, Jihyo, thank you. What are you two doing?"

"Jinyoung requested me to help train Jeongyeon."

"Doesn't he realize that Jeongyeon will probably, like, kill you?" Nayeon understands my relationship with Jihyo. Jihyo understands my relationship with Nayeon. And I understand their relationship. We all protect each other I presume, with most of the protecting being projected onto Nayeon. She's the one who needs it most right now.

"I think he's noticed that she's warmed up to me more," Jihyo smiles softly, and I have to stop myself from holding onto her or kissing her or- 

Goddamn you, Park Jihyo.

"I think we all have," Nayeon mentions, and I nod. "Even when Mina finally comes out of our room, she talks to you a lot. And Dahyun seeks comfort in you. I wanna thank you, so, well, thank you. You've taken care of us all really well." There's something lying beneath Nayeon's words that I can't decode as something flashes across Jihyo's face.

"You shouldn't thank me," Jihyo's voice drops, and I finally allow myself to rest my arm across her shoulders, giving Nayeon a look. It's inviting, I hope. She gets the message, luckily, stepping closer to us. I use my free hand to brush her hair back out of her face.

"Why not? You've done really well, Jihyo," I finally speak up, messing up Nayeon's hair. She gives me a pointed look, and I shrug with a smile. "So thank you. You've, um, yeah." I stop myself before I can admit to opening up to her. She already knows anyway.

"You're all too nice to me," Jihyo laughs quietly. "I really don't believe I deserve it though."

"You've dealt with six girls trying to cope with having powers. Not to mention that more than half of these girls are struggling with different things mentally. You haven't complained once. And I guess that you've helped me," I look over at Jihyo and she wipes at her eyes. I pull away from her to cup her cheek and wipe away a tear. "Hey, why are you crying?"

"I'm not."

"Are too. Happy tears or sad tears?" Nayeon cups her other cheek and by now Jihyo is doing the best she can between sniffles and laughter.

"Happy."

"Good. Thank you, Jihyo. We all love you, you've done such a great job so far. I don't give a damn what that Jinyoung guy says. I know he's been shitty to you lately." I breathe in to compose myself before I can lose my temper.

"We could, like, totally kick his ass. Six of us against one of him? Fantastic odds!" Nayeon presses a kiss to Jihyo's temple.

"I don't think it works like that." Jihyo finally says, her smile wide. She looks so happy. I love that look on her.

"Well, it will. Oh! Right!" Nayeon pulls away suddenly, digging through the pocket of her shorts. She pulls out three bracelets, each with an initial. They look new, and kind of too fancy to be homemade. It makes me wonder if it was something she bought from JYPE. "I had these made for us. You two have helped me out a lot since I first came here, and I don't have a lot of money, so I asked Somi to hook me up with that Taurus lady. If you don't want them, that's fine, but-"

"They're lovely, Nayeon," Jihyo reassures her, sniffling once more as she wipes her eyes. Nayeon beams, hooking the bracelets around our wrists (the one with the mark. I won't ask why, but it's a bit endearing for some reason). She saves the one with the letter 'n' for herself, hooking it on quickly. "The Taurus works wonders, doesn't she?" With a nod, Jihyo chuckles. "Her name is Sunmi."

"Pretty name," I comment, touching the bracelet. "She's talented. Thank you, Nayeon. It's cute."

Though I can still feel the water running beneath my veins like a river, I feel more at ease. Things are different with Nayeon and Jihyo. I think I could be happy, even if not for long.


	18. dark

MYOUI MINA'S P.O.V.  
****  
Things have changed since I matured. That's obvious. I've always been more introverted, preferring to stick to my room away from too many people. The fear of harming someone has stayed in the back of my mind since I matured, never leaving. Jihyo reassures me. Jeongyeon reassures me. Momo reassures me. Sana reassures me. They all do, but what can reassurance do? Prior knowledge is something I prefer trusting over reassurance. I care for them, yes, and I value their opinions, but I'm too afraid to completely trust them.

Jinyoung informs us that we have to meet with another Zodiac. He owns a company, much like JYPE, but doesn't always treat his Zodiacs right. To me, it's madness, but I don't own the company. I can't decide how he wants them to live.

It's colder in this building, more... Sad. And dark. I lean against the wall, my eyes shut, and my head high despite my nerves. I open my eyes, jumping when a girl, much taller than I am, appears in front of me.

"You're the fire sign from JYPE." It's not a question at all, and I'm left wondering how she could figure it out. "And you're, uh, buying us from YG, aren't you?"

"Maybe?" I swallow when she touches my cheek softly.

"You're pretty. Most fire signs look different, but you," she pauses, her lips curling into a smirk. "You could pass as a water. It's the way you carry yourself that I can tell you're the fire sign I wanted. Look, I won't stall or sugarcoat anything, I'm a fire sign. I'm Lalisa, but I wanna be called Lisa, alright?"

"You're a fire sign?" It makes sense. Lisa is intense, definitely passionate.

"Yeah. I wouldn't lie to my future friend. You're buying me with three other girls I believe. Or you better because I'm not leaving them."

"I'm not in charge-"

"Don't care. I only care about my friends. I'm the only fire sign in my group you know, so I understand you. Isn't it hard to control things sometimes? And no one really gets it." Lisa drops her hand, shifting onto her other foot.

"No, not really-"

"It will be. I don't wanna hide anything from you. Honestly, I'm not sure if Hyun-suk lied or if it's all true, but soon you won't be able to control things as easily. I'm sure Jinyoung has told you that fire signs are less predictable?" I nod, too afraid that I'll be cut off again. "There you go. He gave me something. If you want it though, you should tell me."

"I don't really think that I should take whatever you're offering. I don't know you, and you could probably drug me. You could kill me, couldn't you?"

"I've been mature longer than you, so definitely. But I don't like killing. Hugs are better," she smiles and I can't place my finger on her change in demeanor. "But you'll know me soon enough if Jinyoung succeeds. And he will 'cause Hyun-suk likes his money."

"So we're really buying you? That's insane."

"Yeah, yeah. It happens in this world between all of these companies. What I wanna know is if you want something that's gonna help you stay human." I swallow once more, my eyes shifting down. The most logical side of me is screaming for me to refuse, but my heart is ruling over my head. I don't want to hurt anyone, and if she's as true as she says she is, then whatever this is... it'll help. With a sigh, a nod.

"Fine."

"Good girl," Lisa chuckles, digging in her back pocket. She pulls out a bag with exactly seven multicoloured pills, the most dominant colour being red. "These are something YG gave me. Honestly? Not sure if they're legal, but I don't care. The whole fire element shit is too wild for me, so I just took them. And also because if I didn't then he would have locked me away in room 94 for maybe, well, we'll say three days. And room 94 is terrible."

"God, that's so dark. Aren't you glad that you'll be away from here?" I take the bag without question, though my mind is still racing with thought. If I get caught with these and they're not legal- Damn. I'll be screwed.

"Always," She answers simply, turning on her heel. "Hit me up if I end up there. You'll want some more of those pills probably."

I'm left standing outside of the room that Jihyo and Jinyoung are currently in, staring down at the bag. The door opens suddenly and I panic and stuff them into the pocket of my jeans. The last thing I want is to be caught with random pills some girl who goes by the name Lisa gave to me. The thought of no longer hurting anyone is intriguing, but my mind is arguing with itself. Anything could happen with some strange pills.

A man, definitely Hyun-Suk by the way he dresses, strides out next to Jinyoung, "Are you sure you'd rather not trade? Just four of your new little ones to replace the ones I'm giving to you."

"No." Jinyoung replies, voice hard and cold. Hyun-Suk laughs.

"Is this one of them?" He looks over at me and I freeze, glancing over at Jihyo. She gets the message, striding over to me and standing by me, glaring at Hyun-Suk. I silently thank her as I reach for her hand. "Look at her, Jinyoung, she's gorgeous. Water? Air?"

"Fire."

"Fire? So beautiful," he steps closer. Jihyo steps closer to him in return, squeezing my hand in reassurance. "God, that one is feisty. You train them well."

"Don't talk about me like I'm not here." Jihyo begins, but Jinyoung raises his hand.

"You do too. The difference between us is that I have respect for them. Learn something from me, Hyun-Suk." Jinyoung pats the man's back before motioning for us to walk in front of him. 

The ride back is long and silent. The only girls in the van are the ones that have matured. Or rather three, plus me (Dahyun and Chaeng aren't in the best state, and Tzuyu has been more emotional lately). Jihyo rests in the passenger seat next to Jackson while Jeongyeon, Nayeon, and Momo rest in the back. 

Jinyoung's choice to bring Momo was a bit stupid in my opinion. She had just matured a few days after Jeongyeon, still not having great control over her element. In fact, she matured from trying to pour herself a glass of water (Jihyo's request. She really does care about our health), only to accidentally cause the water in the pitcher to fly across the room, effectively soaking Sana and Chaeyoung. It only got worse after she tried actually drinking it. The girl really does hate water.

And then you have the incident where she couldn't shower without Nayeon or Jeongyeon being in there with her. I don't think it would be awkward; she's close to Nayeon and she's known Jeongyeon since forever. She would constantly make the water too hot or too cold or make a complete mess from just trying to wash her hair properly. We only ever found that out after Momo would trail into wherever we were all gathered, still soaking wet with a bright pink towel wrapped around her body and a quiet, "Please help me." 

Momo tries the best she can while still coping with the fact that she can control water. I still admire Momo. Even now as she struggles.

It's late, but not so late that the other girls are in bed. To me, that should be a good thing. Not just because I'm afraid, but because Momo is currently in front of me in her bed, touching my face with a shy smile. I almost jerk away, but Momo shakes her head, "Please let me touch you. I promise you won't hurt me." And this is Momo, so I think I could try listening for once. When I try to relax, Momo nods, eyes brightening.

"Jinyoung told me that it's dangerous to touch you since you're a fire sign and I just matured," Momo tells me, and yet she continues trailing her finger down my face. "But you're too pretty not to touch."

"You never did listen," I chuckle softly. Momo smiles slowly as she stop at one of the three moles by my cheek.

"Right. Why start now?" She jokes, tapping it once. "God, your moles are so pretty."

"Are they?" Her eyes drift down to my lips when I bite them. I never did like my moles. Mostly due to my ballet class when my apparent friends would make fun of them. Momo wanted to punch them so bad. She nods again, this time more careful, trailing towards the one on the bridge of my nose.

"A whole damn constellation," she cups my cheek with her other hand, and I find that I want nothing more than to kiss her. But that's not right. "Touch me?" I shake my head, my stomach twisting. "I'll show you that you can't hurt me," she wraps her hand around my wrist, bringing my hand up to touch her face. My breath hitches when Momo hooks one of her legs around mine, bringing us closer. Her breath tickles my lips, and the thought of kissing her comes back much stronger than before. "See?" She breathes.

"Momo," I force out, curling my hand at her jaw. She simply smiles, kissing my nose.

"Hm?"

"This is dangerous." I remind her, but she rolls her eyes.

"We both are. I haven't intentionally hurt anyone though," Momo replies. I run my thumb across her skin, closing my eyes tight. "And you haven't hurt me yet. Wanna try more?" The way her voice drops is nearly sinful, an underlying promise beneath her words.

"Bad idea," I breathe out when Momo presses into my hip with her thumb. 

"Tell me to stop and I will," she presses a kiss to the bottom of my jaw, heat enveloping my body. I can't seem to get the words past my lips when her eyes drift up, looking for something. "Everything is for you, Minari."

She kisses the skin of my throat, firmer this time. Momo prefers physical acts when it comes to comfort, for both herself and the person she wants to help. I can tell that she wants to help me, with the way she grasps at my clothes, eyes seeking permission for anything and everything at the same time, each small movement bringing me down under the surface into her own hell.

"Momo," I repeat, my voice threadier than before. She pulls away, eyes searching for mine in the darkness of her room as the hand on my hip moves across my skin until it settles in my hand.

"Yes?" Her voice is soft, and caring with something resting on it.

"This won't work," Her hand tightens around mine, and she smiles. 

"It won't if you don't want it to," I lick my lips when my eyes drift back down to her own. "Just know that I'm doing this for you," And this should hurt me, that kissing me won't do anything for her, but I can't stop my body from begging, screaming for her to just lean in and fucking do something already. "You won't hurt me."

"Momo-"

"You want this. You want me to kiss you, don't you?" Momo leans closer, her lips brushing against mine, barely there, and absolutely maddening. "We're friends, right? It won't do anything."

There's a thought in the back of my mind, constantly repeating that she doesn't (and she never will) kiss Sana. Only once when we were little kids, and they brushed it off. There's also that small part of me that thinks I'm special, and that's why she wants to kiss me, but I don't fit like Momo and Sana do. And as I've reminded myself before, this is wrong, and I'm messed up. This won't end well, and yet, I give in, pushing Momo against my lips so messily that I can't think. It isn't perfect, far from it actually, with teeth clashing against each other, until Momo allows me to take the lead. In a way, I understand that she's letting me set the pace because she wants me to know I won't hurt her, but I'm not used to it. I'm used to the other ones taking care of me, and I'm used to them making sure I'll be alright.

Momo is different. She always has been. So when she bites down on my bottom lip as soft as possible, her left hand trailing up my shirt, I let it happen. I love Momo. I always have. And it's different from how I love Dahyun, or Sana, or Jeong. It's different from how I love the other eight girls. Loving Momo is a wild ride, one you either have to give up on and leave it or buckle in and do your best to hang on to. Me? I've never backed down from a challenge. Even the ones that I know will hurt me in the long run. So I don't stop Momo even when her lips are back on my neck, and her hands are wandering aimlessly, searching for purchase.

Momo is different. She always has been. Maybe that's why she loves going out with Dahyun more often than me. Maybe that's why she prefers to let Dahyun sleep with her when she's nervous or afraid or sad. Maybe that's why Momo definitely loves Dahyun, and I'm a second choice. I will always be a second choice to her, I believe. But at least she cares. She must, with the way she cries when I ask her to finally stop. And she must because she holds onto me so tight I'm afraid she'll leave eventually. And finally, she must because she asks me why she's so messed up in the head, only ever resulting to using people.

I still want her. In every way possible, I want Momo. I want her to be happy, I want her to feel alright, I want her to love and to be loved. I want Momo to learn, and to grow back into her old self. I want to help her fix herself, just as she's helping me fix myself. So I allow myself to fall deeper into Momo, and that beautiful, ambiguous mind of hers. Because we're friends, and that's what Momo needs the most right now.

Regardless of how Momo may feel about Dahyun, I still find myself visiting Dahyun the next morning in JYPE's garden. It's her request, and it's the first time since we've both actually been out willingly for a while. At first I'm surprised because I'm sure she would have preferred her time being spent with Tzuyu, or Chaeyoung, or even Momo, but I don't question it too much. If Dahyun wants my company, I'm glad to give it to her.

"Yellow is so pretty. I don't know why anyone hates it," she mentions, beaming at the row of yellow roses. Clearly she wants one, and I'm sure Jihyo has already gifted her one, but I still nod towards them.

"Take one. Jinyoung shouldn't miss one flower,"

"Oh," she pauses, pursing her lips at the flower she's set her eyes on. "But that would kill it, right?" Her innocence has always been something I admired.

"It would." I confirm, chewing on my inner lip. It feels weird to not feel so much sympathy for something I used to care so much about.

"Then I'd prefer it to live," Dahyun straightens, another bright smile taking over her lips. "This is kind of nice. I know you don't like touching things and all, but you've done really well." Well is an exaggeration. These are flowers, so if something went wrong, I'd kill them. I don't mind anymore, but Dahyun does, so I refrain from it.

"Isn't lying bad?" I say. It's not necessarily a question, but it comes out as one.

"I mean, yeah. But I'm not! You're doing well! Here, touch one of them. If I can do it, you can." And I'd like to think of myself as observant so when a flash of emotion crosses Dahyun's eyes, I shake my head. She doesn't like touching things either.

"But you're uncomfortable,"

"How did you know?" Dahyun shoves her hands into her pockets, taking her bottom lip between her teeth.

"No one destroys a room and recovers that quickly."

"It's been a long time though-"

"Not really. Here," I step closer to her, but keep my hands to myself for obvious reasons. "We can confide in each other, then. Because you understand. You don't like touching things either, right?" I've messed up with Momo, so I settle with accepting that fact. I shrug the thought away, and put on my best smile. Dahyun understands.

"We haven't talked that much though,"

"And?" I smile slowly.

"You trust me?"

"You understand. Touch me?" I hold out my hand, trying to steady my breathing that's speeding up quickly. My nerves always get the best of me. Dahyun's hand clasps mine, gentle and shaky, and the only thing I can do is give her a reassuring smile. We can settle this together, no matter Momo's feelings. That won't get the best of me.


	19. aware

YOO JEONGYEON'S P.O.V.  
****  
We're all a mess. It's natural, I suppose, with eight Zodiacs living together. Through struggles, we find comfort in different people. And feelings are supposed to grow because if they don't, your story is wrong. Feelings grow because you find that whichever person you find comfort in will be your home. Even if the place you're in doesn't feel like home, that person does.

In my case, I think my home consists of two people. When I kiss Jihyo, I feel so many things that make me happy again. And I care about her so much that it pains me when she comes home late at night with red, swollen eyes, and tear stained cheeks because of something Jinyoung said. Jihyo isn't the type to cry in front of us. I know that she's supposed to seem strong, but surely allowing us to see her vulnerable side would help the others understand her. But it's not like they don't.

When I look at Nayeon, there's this tight feeling in my chest that makes me want to envelop her and keep her safe from the world. And when she looks back at me, or I catch her staring, my heart leaps into my throat and I want nothing more than to give her only the purest side of the world. Jihyo and Nayeon are different from the others. Momo is my little sister, fuck blood, and I understand that what I feel for her is love. But I love Jihyo and Nayeon differently. More than I thought was humanly possible.

Allowing myself to trust anyone here was a big step for me, and yet Jihyo seemed to break down my walls within a week. That should have been a huge sign for me that I was screwed. And when I held Nayeon in the bathroom at night because she didn't want to wake anyone up, I should have known I was fucked for life.

And then there's the time that I was struggling with the water in the shower, so Nayeon helped wash my hair (which, thankfully, the blue is almost completely faded, thanks to Sana and her cheap hair dye). I was still uncomfortable to let her touch me in any other way though, but she understood. So she'd stand outside of the shower and comfort me so that I wouldn't think too much and make the water rush out too quickly, have it all gather above my hands, or carry me away.

Finally, when Jihyo blindfolded me and taught me that vulnerability isn't weakness. Or when she took me onto the roof that one night a couple of weeks ago, and couldn't stop kissing me and laughing because she was genuinely happy. All of these times, I should have known. But loving two people is selfish. I should allow Nayeon and Jihyo to find happiness in one another, and they do with the way they look at each other, but I can't. I've always been selfish when it comes to myself. Giving myself away for Momo, Mina, or Sana was different. I'd still do it without a second thought but Nayeon and Jihyo... I want them. I want both of them. With both of them, I'm calmer, and I don't stress over the fact that, yes, I have fucking powers, and I could probably hurt someone with them. 

Feelings are supposed to grow because when I look at Jihyo, she becomes one half of the world to me. And when I look at Nayeon, she becomes the other half of that world. Together they make one beautiful world that I wouldn't be afraid to lose myself in. In fact, I'd let myself fall from the sky in that world just so that I could experience every single little detail about it. I've become more aware.

Relationships aren't something I should want, or need. But the term provides a more solid ground for me. I can't wish that Nayeon or Jihyo love me, but I hope that they do. And if they won't accept me, that would be fine I think. Their happiness is more of a priority to me than my own.

And really, I hate myself, and I don't think I should allow myself to be happy with them, but Jihyo's kind words are too much for the part of myself that wants me to mutilate myself, change every single flaw about myself until I'm perfect enough for myself. But perfection won't ever come to me. I am a mess on two legs filled with anger, desperation, and... Sadness. I won't say depression. I don't know what the fuck that feels like.

That's another thing about myself that I don't like. My mind wants me to go and say that I'm hurting, but I'm not. I'm fine, and I shouldn't think like that because I don't know how Dahyun feels, or how Mina, or Momo feel. I don't understand how Sana felt that one year when she couldn't cope with the fact that one day she wouldn't be able to see her parents freely. And I never will. 

Awareness is something I thought I always had. Up until I allowed myself to melt in front of Jihyo, and I opened my arms up to Nayeon. And when Momo came crying to me yesterday night because she thinks she ruined things with Mina and Dahyun, and even when Sana finally let herself crumble because she believes she's broken. All of this has made me more aware of myself and my surroundings.

JYPE isn't a bad place, but I don't like Jinyoung. There's something not right about him. Since we've arrived and matured (minus Sana. She's the only one left), he's changed with Jihyo, treating her like some low employee he just hired. I know that Jihyo has lived and worked with him since she was just a little girl, so he shouldn't treat her like that. It serves to make me angry, and any time I have a training session with him, I lose my temper. Most often he calls Jihyo to show up and "control" me, but I don't need to be controlled. Jinyoung does. I don't care if he buys poorly treated Zodiacs from different companies, or he takes us in from all the bad, he himself is bad in my eyes.

I tighten my hands into fists, resting them on my temples. Too much thinking.

The thinking comes from a voice in my head, and that voice constantly wants Nayeon and Jihyo, always screaming for them. And of course, I'm worried about the other girls who have matured and are still taking things hard, but my mind can't focus too well when I think about them. There isn't much that I can do other than comfort them, and I'm not very good at that. Or not as good as I'd like to think I am. I want to help Momo, and whatever issue she has with Mina and Dahyun, but I'm not even in the proper state to help myself right now.

Cigarettes are terrible in every possible way. And still, I try sneaking one out to the roof when I think Jihyo isn't out there. They taste terrible, and I cough way too much, but I don't think when I'm able to smoke. Not until afterwards when I get mad at myself because that's the only way I can cope. I shouldn't have to cope with anything.

I shouldn't be able to control fucking water, and I shouldn't be able to be taken away from my home. I shouldn't have to come here and open up to people I've never met before, and I shouldn't have to stay. I shouldn't have been such a bitch to Momo because I couldn't accept the fact that I'm really into Jihyo. But I should have been there for all of them.

Surely I am not perfect, but that's supposed to be my role. I'm supposed to be the shoulder that the younger ones cry on, I need to be the arms that take in Mina. I need to be the one to defend Sana, I need to be the one to save Momo from Jinyoung. I need to be the one to take care of Nayeon as she figures herself out, and I need to... What do I need to do with Jihyo? I'd say protect, but she's strong. And she's capable of taking care of herself (plus eight others). Jihyo is the one I can really confide in because she's that strong. I'd like to do the same, each and every time Jinyoung upsets her.

That fucking man isn't right. He's got a twisted mind, one that makes me so sick to my stomach that I'll surely throw up anything I've eaten the day I see him. Jihyo still swears up and down that he means well, but since the beginning, nothing has been right. And there was a shift in his personality after Dahyun matured, so abrupt that all of us noticed. Sometimes I think he'll try and do something to us with his element. It's air, isn't it? Air and water don't mix well if what I learned in school was anything good.

Would that mean that I could protect the others if he did try something? Even though I'm not good at it, I'd still try. Anything for them.

We're still allowed at JYPE, though not as often as in the past. And we can't stay as long. The most logical side of me thinks that it's because of Dahyun, and that he really doesn't want to hold off training for another month, but the more emotional side of me? It calls the logical side a total fucking liar. Jinyoung doesn't trust us, and therefore believes we should be kept away. It isn't long until he locks us away with Jihyo for some newer group he brings in. Maybe it'll be that group of four that he just bought. Or does he plan to make them into his new slaves rather than his experiments?

Those four are something. There's one fire sign, Mina mentioned, and Nayeon told me about two earth signs. I ran into an air sign the other day while I was walking around JYPE with Momo. She's tall, but small. Like she doesn't eat much, and she's an Aquarius if the mark says anything. Those are rare, I think, but I won't question it. Would it be rude, I wonder? I've yet to see the fire sign, but I did catch a quick glimpse of one of the earth signs. I know that one is a Capricorn, so maybe Sana will befriend her quickly. I doubt the other one is a Virgo, and she doesn't seem like a Taurus. But who am I to make assumptions?

Jackson is an open man in every way. He's been kind to us, though I still haven't forgiven him for handcuffing me. That shit was insane. How did he expect me to protect Momo from that weird old man? Really, I'm just glad that he hasn't tried it again since. Maybe he knows better. Right, because a man who has been mature for years is gonna be afraid of a newly matured water sign. I really wish the more logical side of me would take over more.

I finally drop the cigarette by my foot, stepping on it once. I bring my hand up, forming another puddle in my hands. It's fun to play with, and if Jihyo says it counts as practice, well, that's a bonus. It's one thing to dip your hand into water in a sink, tub, or even the ocean, but it's another to actually feel it on your fingertips. It's hard to control when you don't think properly, but if you're able to keep a clear thought, it won't drift or drip. It rests exactly where you want it, forming whatever shape you demand. That could be a thing with water, I believe. Demanding, control, whatever. If you aren't the type of person to enjoy demanding, water isn't for you. It won't work out well.

My first example would be Momo; she likes being in control, but she doesn't demand things. With me, Momo isn't in control. She's weak, small, and fragile. Therefore when she tries controlling water like I do, it doesn't go as well. It's upsetting that the poor girl can barely take a shower alone without freaking out because she's terrified she'll screw something up. I can only hope that Momo will learn how to control it better. She could be a strong... What's the word? We'll say bender. God, Chaeyoung would have loved that. She's a total nerd for those things.

At some point I find myself sitting down with Nayeon in my lap on the roof, one hand in her hair and the other still playing with the water. It's warmer than it has been these past few days, and the wind isn't too strong. It looks pretty (the view in my lap is much prettier, but I won't say anything).

"I've noticed it. Everyone has." Nayeon interrupts the silence, and I pause, letting my fingers rest in her hair.

"What?"

"The way you look at Jihyo." She continues, and I stiffen. Of course everyone has noticed. I scoff, allowing the water to fall.

"I don't-"

"You look at her like she's the sun. That must make you the moon," it's a joke on her half, I recognize, but it's far from a joke on mine. It's too serious, and I feel weird. Or my stomach does. And my heart. Fuck it, I feel weird entirely.

"I don't, um, I don't look at Jihyo like that. I admire her I guess." I bite my lip, and Nayeon sits up abruptly, twisting to face me.

"Total, complete madness. You love Jihyo, don't you?"

"No? What the hell- I can't- I don't-"

"Jeong, it's fine, you know," I feel her hand on my cheek, soft and gentle, "love is natural. And I know you."

"I do." I finally swallow, closing my eyes. Nayeon is hard to lie to. Especially when she tries her best to draw you in, and make you trust her. Especially when she's someone you want to take care of and treasure.

"That's alright," she finally speaks after a long silence. "I do, too, you know."

"What?" It's my turn to sit up now, my face surely twisting into confusion. If she loves Jihyo, and I love Jihyo, and I most definitely love Nayeon- Fuck. What a terrible love triangle. I don't think Chaeyoung would be fond of this joke. It must be a joke with how unrealistic it is.

"I love Jihyo. You know, like her. Like like," Nayeon laughs. "But you deserve her, you know," And that's total, complete madness because I've been nothing but a nuissance to her. "Also you. I love you maybe."

"Me?" I chew on my inner cheek, trying not to laugh. It isn't until Nayeon huffs that I realize she's being serious. God. She's being fucking serious.

"Yeah, you. You're so wonderful and nice, and I don't have the biggest vocabulary in the world, but I'm doing my best. You and Jihyo are the sun and moon to me. And I love you both, like, a lot. And that's selfish isn't it? I should choose. And neither is probably the best choice because Jihyo definitely loves you too, so you two should end up together. That's how movies work, right?" I roll my eyes, ruffling Nayeon's hair. I feel at ease around her, so I sigh and let myself relax.

"So we're the sun and moon to you," Nayeon nods, and I smile. "Alright. If this somehow all works out... Wanna be our stars?" The look on her face is priceless, and call it cheesy, but the way the sky lights up in pink and orange behind her, she looks ethereal.

"That doesn't work," she captures her bottom lip between her teeth, her eyes shifting down to the ground. I shrug anyway.

"It can. If Jihyo allows it."

"Three people? In one relationship?"

"We'll work it out. Let time run its course right now." The river flowing through my veins has yet to calm down, but it's found a steadier rhythm to flow to, guiding my heart and mind along with it. Yeah. Maybe this can work out.


	20. insecurity

HIRAI MOMO'S P.O.V.  
****  
Physical acts are easy. They're so easy that I could do every single one in my sleep. With my hands tied together, too. 

Physical affection? That involves feeling, and feeling doesn't get me much of anywhere. Jinyoung says I feel too much. I'd like to think I feel nothing at all, but he's more correct than I am I guess.

It isn't the first time I've ever kissed Mina. In fact, I used to do it all the time, but it was never on the lips. God forbid I allow that. But it was too natural, the way we fell against each other and the way I relaxed so easily. Sana believes in friend soulmates, and I'd like to think that Mina and I are meant for each other in that way.

Friends don't kiss each other though. A friend wouldn't allow you to touch them like I did with Mina. And yet, I still think of her as my friend. It's no secret that I love Mina. I love her with every part of myself, and I want to give her everything. But it's different. Little me had a crush on Mina. Crushes are for children and mere teenagers, and now that I'm older, I don't want to think about having a crush on her.

With Dahyun, I want to protect her from everything bad in the world. But it's the same with Mina. I've known Mina longer, but I can connect to Dahyun just like I can connect to Mina. And all of this is complete bullshit because I'm really not supposed to be thinking right now, and-

"This is what he meant when he said you feel too much," Jackson mumbles into my ear before straightening. Jinyoung is across the room, guiding Mina's hands into the air. I bite my lip hard when a flame rises in her hands. She's clearly uncomfortable, and it's pissing me off. "Just focus on controlling the water, okay?"

"Not okay," I roll my eyes, moving to step away from Jackson. I don't blame him for trying to help me, it's his job, but I wish he'd go back to Mina. She's more comfortable with him. "I'll do it, but stop Jinyoung. Mina doesn't want to do it right now." Jackson's eyebrows scrunch up together.

"It being?"

"The fire shit," I shift my weight onto my right foot. "Look at her. Or you help her."

"It's not my place to tell him who to men-"

"Don't care."

I stare straight at Jackson, unwavering despite my stomach becoming weak and uneasy. I clench my hands into fists when Jinyoung tries touching Mina again, and heat boils in my lungs and throat, threatening to spill over any moment. Jackson relents with a sigh, turning to look at Jinyoung, "Sir, she's uncomfortable."

"I know. She has to learn to deal with it, however. It'll be over soon. Go back to Momo, Jackson." I bite into my lip harder, surely drawing blood. It's hard to keep my mouth shut. Before Jackson can try again, I give in and laugh.

"Do you want what happened to the training room last month to happen again?" It's not a malicious threat, really, because I'm sure Mina wouldn't do anything like that. But Dahyun didn't want to, but she did. Okay, fuck, Mina might accidentally.

"Momo, dear, I'm sure this-" I cut him off sharply, walking closer to him as calm as I can be. Mina stiffens, finally able to back away from Jinyoung's hold.

"Isn't my place? It is when you're making her uncomfortable," I grin when I form water around my hands rather than my feet. Jackson grabs onto my upper arm, holding on tighter than I'd like, and I don't really think about the fact that this is the first time that I've actually been able to control the water from somewhere inside of me. "We could destroy this room if we wanted."

"No you couldn't," Jinyoung's eyes narrow slightly before he clears his throat and straightens himself. "Or I'd hope you wouldn't because that would lead to serious consequences."

"You forcing Mina to do something she doesn't wanna do will lead to serious consequences." I shrug as Jackson whispers into my ear over and over again, mostly requesting me to stop. Mina's not in his grasp now, and I suppose listening to Jackson will stop me from being locked away. Is that something Jinyoung does? Probably.

Though my place with Mina is confusing right now, I don't care to keep her away from trouble or to take care of her. Just because I screwed up doesn't mean I should make her deal with things she can't. I shouldn't take it out on her. So after Jinyoung dismisses us (he really didn't want me to leave, so I hope I had some affect on him), I ask Mina if she wants to get an ice cream. It's a small attempt at making things not so awkward.

The ice cream here is better than expected. And it holds a more special place in my heart due to Sana using it to comfort me. I've become more comfortable when eating things around the other girls, and I believe it could have been my nerves. I trust all of them more than I used to; almost all of us know what the others are going through. And Sana knows enough to understand because some day she'll mature like the rest of us. Jihyo understands it, but she doesn't know what it feels like. She doesn't have to face the fear that we do everyday. But she still cares deeply about us, so I won't put that on her.

Mina bites into the ice cream as she usually does, and I shiver, "God, how do you do that?"

"Do what?" 

"Bite into it. Isn't it cold?"

"Of course it is, Momo, it's ice cream." I roll my eyes, and she laughs. At least she isn't making any of this awkward. Which means I probably am. It's gotta be one of us.

"You know what I meant," a long period of silence falls upon us. I watch Mina eat her ice cream contently, merely prodding at my own with a spoon. I bite my lip in search of a topic, anything at all, to talk about before clearing my throat. It's probably not the best thing to talk about on my part, but I'm curious about how their dynamic works. "You and Dahyun have become close."

"We have," Mina replies smoothly. Though her voice is steady, I don't miss the way her eyes darken, and how the atmosphere becomes darker. "We practice together a lot."

"Oh," I almost sigh with how slow the conversation is going. Which it could be worse, with neither of us speaking at all or even going near each other, but honestly? I think I'd prefer that. And I can't just tell her to drop the topic now because she'd catch onto the fact that I was staring. But she's not comfortable with it. So with a spoonful of ice cream, I ask, "The ice cream is good, right?"

"Momo," Mina's voice drops, and I look around out of habit. Jackson is guiding a group of men out the door somewhere, and I can't help but wonder if he's like Jihyo. "Momo."

"Yeah?" I finally look back at her, and she smiles. It's sadder than it should ever be though.

"How can you pretend like this is all normal? Like what we did was normal, I mean." I swallow, pushing away the cup of ice cream. I can't seem to get whatever the words are that I'm thinking of out, my tongue becoming tied.

"Normal? Aren't we-"

"Not us in general. I don't want to put you in an uncomfortable place, but we're both hurting. That's why you kissed me. You want to forget something." Mina is more blunt than she'd typically be, and I know that I should be worried about someone overhearing us, but then again, I don't really know anyone else here.

"You know that I love you, Mina. That's why I won't lie to you," I breathe in slowly. We really aren't in the best place to discuss this right now, but the quicker I get this over with, the quicker we'll be better. "I told you that it was all for you. And it was. But I was being selfish because I wanted it, too. You didn't want it, did you? So I forced myself onto you. And I know that you've never been great at defending yourself since that night at your recital, so how could I expect you to tell me to stop? You'd give your all to me, I know that. I don't deserve it, so keep it for yourself, so that you can heal. You and Dahyun are working well together right now. That's all I want, you know? For you two to be happy." I'm vaguely aware of the situation, and how out of hand it could get because I'm still new to the whole element control thing. Any minute that passes could be the minute that I accidentally hurt someone. So I settle with a breath.

"You didn't force yourself onto me," Mina smiles once more. Neither smile held any luster, like all the others did. "I wanted it for myself. I wanted it because I knew that it would help you cope with everything that's going on. And I wanted it because you wanted it. I told you to stop eventually, didn't I?" I nod because I can't do anything else. "So it's alright. I've known you since I was a little girl. I think I'd be able to give myself over to you because you've been there for me ever since I can remember. We can be there for each other, if you want."

It's the most that Mina has said since we've arrived. And even though we've drifted apart, we found a way to become closer again. I still have trouble with my feelings, but if Mina wants to help me, I think I'd be alright with letting her.

"Remember, fire and water don't mix well together, Minari." I smile, and Mina reaches across the table to shove my shoulder gently.

"Since when have you cared?"

The next step is talking to Dahyun. I have to figure out where we stand, and how she views me. And I have to let her know how I view her. It's the only way that I'll be able to stop beating myself up constantly. Luckily she doesn't really leave the dorm too often for her own reasons. Unless it's church because she always goes.

Mina retreats to her room to talk to Sana about certain things, so I don't waste any time finding Dahyun staring lifelessly at the wall by Tzuyu's bed. I don't laugh though some would find the sight funny. This isn't funny to me; it's more worrying than anything because Dahyun used to be all laughs.

"Hey," my words are softer than I intend, but it's a good thing; I won't startle her this way. She looks over at me, blinking so slowly that it scares me.

"Oh, hi." And her words are just a bit slurred, so I forget my original plan of just talking to her. It's almost too natural, the way I take her into my arms, her body completely relaxing as she whimpers into my neck. 

I don't say anything, simply allowing her to cry into my shoulder. Her hands tighten into fists, clutching my shirt as I shift to have her closer to me. I kiss her temple when she finally looks back up at me, tears still falling from her eyes slowly. I feel my heart shatter when she smiles because it's not the type of smile I want to see from her. This one is sad, so cold, and dark that I want nothing more than to bring light back into her life.

"I don't know what's wrong with me," her voice is raspy, and quiet. I use my left hand to wipe her wet cheek before cupping it and rubbing the skin there as softly as I can. "I can't stop feeling like this. It's like I can't feel anything at all, but when I do, it's only ever... I don't even know. It's sad. I don't want to do this anymore. I feel so weak, and tired, and broken, Momo."

"Nothing is wrong with you, darling," I mumble, pressing another kiss to her forehead. I hate this. "We'll get through this together."

"Bad idea,"

"Tell me why it's bad." Dahyun goes to turn away from me, but I shake my head, a silent plead.

"You don't want to help someone messed up." Her words are so serious, so sincere, like she truly believes she's messed up that I can't do anything but allow the tight feeling in my throat to take over. My eyes are slowly becoming more and more cloudy, so I do the only thing I can do. I hold onto her tighter, inhaling her scent, and embracing all of her. I bite into my own lip so hard I'm sure I taste blood for the second time today.

"You're far from messed up," I choke out. Dahyun laughs bitterly, and I contemplate trying to comfort her in the only way I know best. But that's not right. To both Dahyun, and me. And even more so Mina. Not after what we've talked about. "I don't wanna hear those words come out of your mouth ever again. You know what you are?" She opens her mouth, I know she does, but I cut her off before she can speak. "You are what fills this dark world with light. You are the happiness I feel whenever you smile. You're what makes me believe we'll be alright. I love you, so I don't plan on leaving you."

Dahyun keeps her mouth shut, only quiet sobs leaving her mouth. I don't mind though. I'll talk to her later when she's better, and smiley again. That's what I want right now. So I refuse to leave until she's alright. Until she believes that every word I said is true.


	21. downfall

PARK JIHYO'S P.O.V.  
****  
"Jihyo, tell me, do I look like I'm joking?" Jinyoung's voice is cold and stern, as it usually is. I shake my head, biting into my lip. He's changed a lot, and he hasn't been like the Jinyoung I used to know.

"They're changing. They're planning something," he continues, staring straight at me. "You remember the group we bought from Hyun-suk?" With a nod, he laughs, dark and bitter, "one of them has plagued Mina with those pills he buys from American Zodiac companies. Do they seem safe to you? A way to suppress power, to block out your true instincts. It affects your body in so many ways that I can't even begin to name them all. And we don't even know if she's taken any!"

"Sir, are you sur-"

"Yes, I'm sure! We have ways of knowing, Jihyo, you of all people should know this. Is your secret still safe? You know what could happen if anyone finds out." I swallow, my mind drifting to Nayeon. I could lie to Jinyoung. Or I could tell him the truth. Goddamn it.

"It's safe." The lie is sour on the tip of my tongue, a foreign feeling.

"Are you sure?" The way he says it makes my stomach drop.

"Yes." I stutter over the simple word. Jinyoung exhales shakily.

"Okay. Good. You haven't messed that up," the words don't bite me as harshly as they used to. "I hope you realize why I'm so hard on you lately. I want you to be careful, and these girls could hurt you if they wanted. Of course, you could protect yourself, but that would put everyone's reputation, and all in danger here." A part of me is sure that he couldn't care less about me, and rather himself and how the world would view him if word got out that I'm a zodiac. But this is Jinyoung, and I've known him since I was a little girl.

"You realize that there's a chance I could die if that happened?" I know it won't, but just the thought sends shivers down my spine.

"Of course I do. I'm not stupid," Jinyoung blinks slowly, his lips straightening into a thin line. "But you'd prefer to sacrifice yourself for the sake of everyone else here, right?" He's never mentioned something like this before, so I'm not very sure what to say. I've always known that one day I might have to sacrifice myself, but I didn't think it'd come now. And I hope it won't come now because those eight girls wouldn't hurt a fly. It won't. So I gather what's left of my nerves, steadying my voice.

"That won't happen,"

"It won't?" Jinyoung laughs. "Oh, Jihyo, it will. I've kept JYPE thriving for years, I've spent my entire life dedicated to studying Zodiacs. I know more than you ever will. I can read each and every one of you like a book. Jackson's group never gave off any weird vibes. Yours? Ever since Myoui Mina matured, they all changed. They won't be with you forever." 

"They're scared-"

"No, they're not," Jinyoung's voice raises, the sound booming into my ears obnoxiously. "They know what they're capable of, and quite frankly-" He's cut off by a door slamming open, hitting into the wall behind it. Jeongyeon is quick on her feet, her eyes narrowed, and cold as she swings an arm around my waist.

"You know how annoying your voice is? God, I could hear it from miles away. Don't yell at her." Her sentences are short, surely stabbing into Jinyoung with every word. Thankfully she's learned to control her temper a lot better, so there's no added yelling or threats.

"What did you hear?" He tenses at the exact same time I do. If Jeongyeon heard anything... I'm not sure what I'd do.

"What was I supposed to not hear?" Jeongyeon laughs, a complete replica of Jinyoung's bitter laugh from earlier. I bite my lip hard before she continues. "Probably all of it. But I'll be honest with you, alright? Just the bit where you said we know what we're capable of. And I do, Jinyoung. I could kick your ass if I wanted, but I won't."

"Wise choice-"

"Only because Jihyo would end up hurt if I tried anything." Relief floods into my body at the same time as the guilt. The guilt is stronger however, and I feel nauseous. I shouldn't still be lying to them. And I shouldn't be making Nayeon lie to them.

"You'd be surprised," I almost panic, but I'm quick to remember that he wouldn't put his reputation in danger like that. "Jihyo, I want you to retrieve Nayeon. We'll work with these two today." I go to protest, but Jeongyeon shakes her head, a soft promise lying on the tip of her tongue.

I decide to drive one of the company's vans back to the dorm; it's the quickest way, and I really don't want to arrive back at JYPE to see Jeongyeon trying to kill Jinyoung. Or the opposite (Jinyoung wouldn't harm her though, I don't think). I unlock the door to the dorm as fast as I can, calling out once. Nayeon pops up from the couch, smiling brightly. Momo joins her with a wave.

"How's Jeongyeon?" she asks, her voice soft. 

"As well as you'd expect," I chuckle. "She's alright. I need Nayeon though."

"Finally. Please, get her away from me," Momo laughs when Nayeon pushes her shoulder. "I'm joking. Be careful. You'll need all the help you can get if you've got Jeongyeon on your hands."

And truthfully Momo's right. Though Jeongyeon's calmed down a lot, she's still a wildfire. There's absolutely no reasonable explanation as to why she's a water sign. The girl is so fiery, and passionate that she should have been born as a fire sign. Her will is something I can't explain using words.

She'd do anything to protect the ones she loves, that's been noticeable since day one. And I dread the day that I'll have to tell her that I'm a Zodiac and that I've been lying to her since we first met because I know I'll break her into pieces. She doesn't trust easily. I broke down the walls that she put up the first week of her arriving to build that trust up, so when I tell her that I've broken that trust... God. That's too dark of a thought for me.

The ride is filled with Nayeon continuously asking what we'll be doing, and I don't mind to answer her; she's so lovely when she's excited. But the elevator up into the top training room is quieter than usual. The door to the training room is right in front of you as you get off, so Nayeon is, of course, quick to open the door. She's like an excited puppy, so it's truly adorable.

We're met with the sight of Jinyoung standing across from Jeongyeon, observing her like he would an experiment. I ignore the heat that comes with the anger that rushes through my body. I hate that. They're not experiments. Jeongyeon bends down, flickering her fingers before flaring each of her fingers down, gathering water at her feet. Jinyoung shakes his head, waving for us to come closer.

"We're going over how to float effortlessly. But clearly, Jeongyeon isn't doing it effortlessly."

Jeongyeon straightens herself, smiling, "Was our words earlier not enough for you, sir? My, you must love me."

Jinyoung scowls, "You're merely a brat. Please learn to behave." There's an underlying threat that I can't decipher. It hurts me more than I'd like to admit. Nayeon relaxes next to me as Jeongyeon plays around with the water at her feet. She carries herself around the room experimentally, eyeing Jinyoung with every move.

"I'm behaving," Jeongyeon's lips drop into a smirk, and I know she's up to no good, my pulse rising. "Come on, teach me some more. Let's keep that mouth of yours busy so you don't waste time talking shit to Jihyo again."

He rolls his eyes, stepping closer to Jeongyeon. She swerves away from him with another laugh, "She's my employee. I can yell at her if I need to."

"The thing is that you didn't need to yell at her. That's what pisses me off. She's worked her ass off since she was a little girl for you. She's been loyal to you, and you're gonna start treating her like shit?" She shakes her head, and I feel Nayeon stiffen beside me. The way Jeongyeon's eyes darken sends a dreadful feeling to my stomach. "Alright, then. Let's make you feel like shit." Her next move is surprising to all of us as she kicks out, water sending Jinyoung back roughly. He's quick to catch his balance as he exhales harshly, moving so fast that he's nearly a blur. His hand comes up to wrap around Jeongyeon's wrist, squeezing so aggressively at her mark that I'm surprised she hasn't made a sound. He's still wet, and shaky from Jeongyeon's attack, and her face is still red with her teeth clenched tightly. She's shaking as well, and I debate against myself as Nayeon begs Jinyoung to let her go.

"Let me go, asshole!" Jeongyeon swears, thrashing against him. Her eyes are going whiter by the second, and that's never a good thing, but I can't really think straight.

"What happened to Jihyo getting hurt? Your poor, pathetic human." Jinyoung has never shown this side to me. He's never been greedy or aggressive, and he's never said such harsh words before. My entire arm feels tight, my lungs shrinking by the second as Jeongyeon tries turning herself around. I notice him squeeze down harder, twisting so that she cries out. Nayeon's mark pulses, and I'm sure she's about to do something, so I finally give in.

It's a quick, heavy movement that sends Jinyoung off his feet. Jeongyeon latches onto her wrist, still swearing before she focuses on me. I can only smile sadly, the pulsing becoming stronger by the second. As soon as he's back on his feet, he tries lunging for Nayeon. I feel weightless as guilt floods into my lungs, and I choke, pushing my hands out in front of me with a curl of my fingers. Jinyoung is quickly ripped away from Nayeon, his eyes narrowing in on me now.

"Do you know what you've done?" He rasps. I shrug, raising my hands once more. He scoffs, "You don't want to try that, dear. We both know what would happen."

I can't even make the words fall from my lips as I feel my cheek become wet. I'm surely crying, but I wipe harshly at my eyes, "Leave them alone, and I won't do anything."

"I saved you! Do you not realize what Jeongyeon would have done to you? What do you think they'll all do now once word gets out? You're nothing to them, Jihyo. I'm all you've got." The words bite into me, and I lose my balance, the feeling in my veins becoming weaker. My emotions are getting the best of me, and I know that if I keep it up, I won't be able to help them.

"You're a fucking liar," Jeongyeon's voice is harsh, and raspy, her hands grasping onto the front of my shirt. The adrenaline must still be flowing through her because she pays no heed to her swollen wrist. "You lied to us. You lied to me." Her voice cracks, and I allow her to back me into the wall, my back slamming into it so hard that I'm surprised it doesn't collapse. My eyes focus on Nayeon, and then they search for Jinyoung. I almost swear as I realize that he's run away. That bastard.

"I'm sorry-"

"Liar. Your apologies are complete fucking bullshit. Is it fun to hurt me? Is that what you love doing? Because I poured every fucking inch of me out to you. I gave myself completely over to you because I thought that you would protect me. You're not even guilty are you?" I choke over my words as Jeongyeon lets go, her breath erratic. Her hands shake, and she's crying. The sight makes me hate myself more because I was supposed to help her. I was supposed to love Jeongyeon, and treasure her, but I couldn't even do that right. Nayeon comes over, her eyes more sympathetic than Jeongyeon's will ever be.

"I love you." I force out, staring straight at them. Nayeon smiles slowly though it's sad. Jeongyeon's hands tighten into fists. I realize that my apologies would mean nothing by now, so I don't try. I don't have much hope at all that they'll forgive me (Nayeon did once before. She's not mad I hope).

"You mean nothing to me." Jeongyeon replies, her voice completely ruined, and she moves too quick for me to comprehend what she's doing. Water fills my lungs, and it becomes so dark that I can't see at all. I hear a loud crashing noise, and then heavy pressure as something cuts into my skin. I open my eyes, allowing them to adjust to the view underwater, and I can only swear internally before my vision goes black again. The last thing I can see is the ceiling collapsing, and Jeongyeon's cold, white eyes on me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> could i PLEASE start writing longer chapters ffs,,, i promise ill try harder. anyway hope u love some angst bc well :)))))


	22. break

KIM DAHYUN'S P.O.V.  
****  
Tensions are high in the dorm to put things simply.

And simplicity doesn't come easy when you find out that one of the people you've put the most trust in lied to you. 

I'm in denial, in a way, but it was only to be expected. Jihyo always seemed guilty. I had absolutely no clue when it came to what she could have been guilty over, but I suppose now I know enough. Probably more than I should know.

And it's natural for the atmosphere to change with Jeongyeon threatening to burst any second. I'm not sure if anyone else caught on, but it became so painfully obvious that Jeongyeon had fallen in love with Jihyo. Or maybe she was just in the midst of it. She looks at Jihyo like...

Kind of like how I look at Sana and Momo. But I won't focus on that because I'm too broken to allow myself happiness.

Jihyo hasn't come home for a couple of weeks now, and Jackson continuously tries to inform us that she's resting, but it seems off. I only know bits and pieces of what happened, like how Jeongyeon got riled up due to Jinyoung mistreating Jihyo. And I know that she tried attacking him. All that's left is the fact that they discovered that Jihyo was a Zodiac.

And we know that Nayeon knew before we did. I'm not angry with either of them, honest. But the fact that Jihyo lied to us isn't comforting. To me, it means that she'd probably lie again even though I don't want to believe that. Whether or not she was made to lie, I'll never know. All I can do is hope she'll recover quickly because that's what she did with us.

I also hope that Jeongyeon will forgive her somehow. But I doubt that that will happen. In a way, I relate to Jeongyeon. I find it easier to build walls around myself rather than letting people in because if I do that, I'm safe. And Jeongyeon does the same thing as I do.

Momo is taking it as well as expected. She's not mad at Jihyo, but she's not happy with her either. She's irritated because Jeongyeon is though, and she's upset because Jihyo lied to Jeongyeon. Momo couldn't really care less about herself when it comes to the people she loves, and I love her for that. I want to be like Momo.

Sana is noticeably more antsy. Whether it be because of Jihyo or Jeongyeon or even the fact that she's the last of us to mature, and she has no clue when it will happen, well, I'll never know. Sana is close with Jihyo, too, though it isn't as noticeable as Nayeon and Jihyo. Sana looked up to Jihyo in a way that's indescribable. 

Chaeyoung always had a guess. It's obvious that she did, even as Jeongyeon came home with handcuffs tight around her wrists, tears streaming down her red face, Chaeyoung knew before she told us. Chaeyoung and Jihyo shared this bond that was different from anyone else. They understood each other, and Chaeyoung viewed Jihyo as a motherly figure. Tzuyu is a naive girl. She had no clue, and I know that she confided in Jihyo. She's clearly hurt. Mina doesn't know what to feel.

As we try getting more comfortable with ourselves, Mina breaks. And she cries, wrapping her arms around herself because she doesn't know what to do. I drop myself from the air immediately, and I'm not sure what I'm doing until I'm pulling Mina into my arms like Sana and Momo do. Mina is a mix between Tzuyu and Chaeyoung. She had no clue about Jihyo, and she viewed her as a role model in a way.

And I suppose I did, too. Because Jihyo was constantly there for us no matter what happened in the early hours or late hours that she had to help Jinyoung at JYPE, she was there for us. And when we matured, she took care of us until we were well on our feet. Jihyo always reassured us that everything would be fine. But was that a lie as well?

It can't be. Jihyo protected Jeongyeon from Jinyoung, so why would she hurt us? Jihyo understands us.

Finally, a weight on my shoulders feels lifted. Jihyo understands what it's like to be a Zodiac, and she understands the struggles. She could have been taken away when she was young, but how would I ever know? All that makes sense right now is that I'm not angry with Jihyo, and I still care deeply about her just like she does us.

It's in Jihyo's nature to forgive, and I know that she'll forgive Jeongyeon. She'd do the same if she were in Jeongyeon's place, and so would I. If I discovered that Sana or Momo were lying to me, I'd be upset. Because I trust them. I pour myself out to them constantly when I'm too weak to even think.

Momo provides her arms, wrapping them around me, kissing my face, and whispering reassuring words into my ear. And her words make me feel like I'll be alright, but I realize that there's something different than when I'm with Sana.

Sana provides her bed, and her beautiful voice. Her bed always smells just like her: vanilla and home. I shouldn't allow myself to trust her, but there's something in the way she looks at me, like she's afraid to lose me. I don't deserve her at all, but if I make her happy, then I think I could stay.

Sana feels like home, too. She feels warm, and welcoming, and I love sleeping with her because I wake up smelling like her. Sana makes me feel like I'll be alright, too, but as always, Sana makes things different. She has that affect on you. She pulls you in with her dark eyes, and pretty lips and makes you feel like you're in a safe haven.

The way I drop the book in my hands is so abrupt that I startle myself. I freeze up because my stomach feels strange, and all I can smell is vanilla, and I want Sana. All I want right now is Sana. And it's then that I realize that I could be allowing myself to fall for her.

Jeongyeon once told me that home is in the person you love. So I must love Sana.

Chaeyoung looks up from her phone, one eyebrow raised. I laugh it off because I suddenly don't feel so empty.

"Are your hands not working?" She jokes, but I shake my head, the smile never leaving. My cheeks begin to hurt, and I want to carry myself away, and into Sana's room, but I know I can't because she isn't doing well right now.

But maybe now is the time to be like Jihyo. The way I want to be.

So I find myself walking into the room without thinking of knocking, immediately letting myself fall into Sana. I breathe her in, my nerves calming down completely as my mind clears itself of all of the drama that's happened these past few weeks. Sana is stiff, though her arms wrap around me almost immediately, like it's an instinct for her, "Hey, what's wrong? Are you upset again? I could go get your favourite blanket and-"

"Not upset," I mumble into her chest before pulling away to look her in the eyes. "I'm here to comfort you because you've been all sulky." I ignore the way my heart flips when she smiles softly.

"You shouldn't have to take care of me, love, I'm an adult." I roll my eyes, pursing my lips.

"So am I. Please let me? You're always there for me, and I know you're thinking about Jihyo, and Jeongyeon, and all that, and I love listening to you talk. I want to hear all of your thoughts if you're okay with that." I should be embarrassed by my words, but I can't seem to shake the feeling that has my nerves buzzing. Sana shakes her head, her smile falling slightly.

"Only because you're so sweet, but I can't promise I won't bore you. Or would I upset you? I know some things bother you." It's my turn to shake my head, already searching around her room. Nayeon and Mina aren't in the room, luckily, and I'm at ease because I know that they're probably comforting Jeongyeon. She needs it now, but not from someone like me. I'm made for Sana, I think.

"What's your favourite blanket?" I ask, my voice lilting. Sana comes up behind me, wrapping her arms around my waist. I would have tensed up at the foreign feeling, but I feel alright. I feel safe.

"Yours," she replies easily. "What's gotten into you? I'm not complaining at all though. I love seeing you happy. It's a rare sight." And this thought should also sadden me, but it doesn't.

"I get to talk to you," It takes a good second or two until my blush surely sets in, my face on fire. I grab the blanket from the little space Sana stores it, twisting out of her hold to motion towards her bed, "Come on now, let me make you feel better." Sana pouts, crossing her arms, and I almost allow myself to be reckless and kiss her. I go to open my mouth, but she's too quick to grab me and roll onto the bed until I'm lying on top of her. I smile wider when she groans, reaching out for the blanket that's now on the floor.

"Look, you were being all cute, and now my blanket is on the floor," she sighs dramatically, and I laugh. I actually laugh so freely and so genuinely that I almost cry. "What will I ever do?"

"I'm not sure, maybe I should leave though. That blanket is mandatory, and if you don't have it-" Sana's eyes narrow as she presses a finger to my lips. 

"You can't back out now," I huff as I reach down to grab the blanket, enveloping both of us. It's pink, and pretty, and it smells so much like Sana that I have to stop myself before I bring it to my nose to inhale it. "Thank you, Dahyunnie."

"Come on, talk to me," I rest my head on Sana's chest much more comfortably than I used to, and the way her fingers tangle into my hair, just barely there, makes my heart flutter. It's natural. She hums softly, and I close my eyes. "What's made you so... Antsy?"

"Antsy?" I make a noise in acknowledgement. "A lot. There's Jihyo, and the fact that Jeongyeon is so hurt by her, and then I know that I'll mature someday, too. I wonder if I could do what Jeongyeon did. I don't want to. I don't want to harm anyone, and I don't want to lie to anyone. Jeongyeon trusted her so much. I also wonder if someone trusts me like that, too. Do you?"

"Do I wonder?"

"No. Do you trust me like that?" I don't have to think much at all because I do trust Sana. I trust Sana with all of my being.

"Yes, but that's because you've earned my trust. You didn't give up on me through these past few months, and you kept pushing to get to know me. If you hadn't, then I don't think I'd be getting any better. But you make me want to learn to be better." Sana laughs quietly.

"All of this is on my mind, Dahyun. I want to protect you, you know? But I'm afraid I'll hurt you. I can't protect you from myself unless I keep my distance." I bite my lip, a heavy feeling settling in my chest at her words. She's as worried as we all are, then. And the smiles and laughter is all a facade. Of course it is. No one is truly happy here.

"Sana?"

"Yes?"

"Can I do something?" It's quiet then, a long period of silence settling over the room. Sana nods, and I smile slowly, hovering over her. It's risky, but I know that if I don't do it now, I never will. This cloud of euphoria has made me bold, I figure, as I lean down to peck Sana's lips. It's quick, and not perfect, but it's enough to make my face burn worse than before.

"If I was worried about you hurting me," I tell her, pouring all of my sincerity into my words. I feel Sana's hands come to rest on the back of my neck, tugging me back down until I can feel her breath on my lips. "I wouldn't be here right now." She pulls me flush against her, kissing me firmer than my simple peck. It's intoxicating, the way happiness floods my body, and the way I feel freer. I can't help the laugh that bubbles from my throat, Sana quickly joining in.

"Are you sure you don't mind the mess?" She asks, voice low when her laughter dies down. A part of me is just slightly surprised that Sana kissed me back, while the other knew she would. I think that part has always known that Sana felt something for me.

"What mess?" 

"Me, darling," I frown, shaking my head, but she continues. "As Jeongyeon would say, I'm a mess on two legs. You're playing with fire if you want to get involved with me."

"If you're a mess, then I'm a disaster," I state. And it's true because Sana holds herself together so much better than I do. She could be a neat mess. "I don't mind getting involved with you." She's home.

"Two disasters together? God, Jihyo will love this when she gets out," It's a joke, I think. "Alright, Kim Dahyun. We'll see if we can fix each other."


	23. fragile

THREE WEEKS LATER.  
○○○○  
MINATOZAKI SANA'S P.O.V.  
****  
I'm not like Jeongyeon, Momo, or Mina. I'm completely different when it comes to expressing myself. It's not as easy as I'd like, but it's easy enough to where I can open up to someone if I want to. And Dahyun is someone I've wanted to open up to for so long, but my fear of harming her kept everything in the back of my mind. In that way, I'm similar to all three of them.

I wasn't raised to hide my emotions. In fact, my parents greatly encouraged me to express them. I think it was because I wasn't very loud then. I mostly kept to myself because it's what I was used to. I didn't have a brother or a sister, and no one else really visited. So I was alone until I met Mina, and Momo. And then Jeongyeon was thrown into the mix, and I felt better.

But that doesn't mean that I don't feel alone at all because it's quite often that I do. Especially now because Nayeon is focused on Jihyo and Jeongyeon, and Jeongyeon doesn't want to be around anyone. Momo is too caught up on Mina, Dahyun is too caught up with Momo, and Chaeyoung and Tzuyu have always been in their own little world.

I'm worried about Jihyo as well, and I know that it's selfish to feel sad because of myself rather than Jihyo, and-

I breathe in, wiping my eyes as the hot water seemingly falls harder against my skin. I don't like thinking. When you think, you become more messed up. I feel hands cup my cheeks, but there's no one in front of me, and I can't help but allow myself to cry even harder because I want someone to be in front of me. I want someone, a fucking saint, to come and save all of us. I want the hurting to stop. I want Jihyo to be alright, and I want her to know that I love her, and that I'm not as mad as the others.

I want Jeongyeon to understand Jihyo's side, and I want her to be happy for once in her fucking life. I want Momo to go back to her old self.

I want too much.

I ask too much of the world.

It hurts.

I should consider myself lucky. I don't have to struggle when it comes to my feelings with Dahyun, I don't have to worry about her lying to me, and I don't have to deal with wanting to die so much. I'm a normal mess at best just waiting to explode. All of us aren't perfect. We are far from it. With so many of us wishing death upon ourselves, and Mina dabbling in some type of pill that a girl gave her, well, it's only natural that we can't be happy. 

And I hate that Mina turned to some foreign pill that could seriously harm her just because she's so afraid of hurting someone. The first night she told me she's been taking them was four days ago as she was throwing up into a toilet at nearly three in the morning. She swears up and down that they'll make her better for everyone, but she's changing for reasons that can't be anything good. It's concerning how she, of all people, accepted fucking pills from a stranger so easily. It's concerning how she, of all people, really began taking them in a desperate attempt to fix herself, and it's concerning how she's becoming more and more reckless. Too dizzy from thinking, I turn the faucet.

I don't bother with dressing up or drying my hair (Jeongyeon would be mad if she still cared), settling with one of Momo's shirts, and a pair of Mina's shorts (they have little penguins on them, and they remind me of how things used to be). I can only hope that my eyes aren't still red from crying and rubbing at them as I intertwine my fingers with Dahyun, Jackson leading us out the door.

It's peaceful, the way Jackson doesn't push us to talk, and the way Dahyun hums quietly. Her anxiety has gotten better though she still has intense moments. I don't mind them; I'll do anything it takes to keep that beautiful smile on Dahyun's face.

More than halfway to JYPE, I decide to open my mouth, "How is she?" Jackson turns his head, his eyebrows furrowed. His features eventually soften as Dahyun looks at him as well.

"She's up on her feet. Jeongyeon didn't do a lot of damage," it's a promise, I can tell by the way he says it. "From what I know, Jinyoung hasn't done anything to her," I clench my fists, already beginning to speak again before Jackson shakes his head. "I wouldn't allow him to anyway. I'd say that Jinyoung's temper got the best of him when she defended Jeongyeon and Nayeon. He's not typically like that."

"I don't give a fuck how he's typically like," I deadpan. Dahyun's hand tightens around mine, and I try to calm myself. "If he wants to try and hurt anyone again, I'll-" I cut myself off, exhaling heavily. I can't do much of anything right now. I'm nothing.

Jackson smiles sympathetically as we stop in front of the doors. The new training room that Jeongyeon completely destroyed is now in the process of being rebuilt, hopefully stronger than ever. Apparently they didn't make them too much stronger last time like they said they did. There's a thought that won't leave my head, one that tells me that Jeongyeon won't be able to stay free forever. I'm sure Jinyoung recognizes her as a high threat now.

As we enter, Jackson points into the direction of the room Jihyo is staying in before heading off. It's nice that he trusts us to some degree. The door slides open to reveal a girl standing in front of Jihyo, one I'm sure is Somi, and then there's one more on her left side. I can't recognize her for the life of me. I come closer as Somi turns around, a soft apology leaving her lips as she dismisses herself. The girl is too sweet for her own good.

"You look like hell," Jihyo laughs softly, her eyes dark and lifeless. The girl beside Jihyo straightens, staring at Dahyun like she's nothing but prey. I wrap my arm around her waist, looking over the girl once before turning back to Jihyo.

"It's called lack of sleep," I tell her, "so I must look like how you feel." 

"I won't sugarcoat anything this time," she bites her lip, and I can't help but reach for her hand. "I'm so sorry for what I did. I'm sorry for hurting Jeongyeon, and I'm sorry for causing harm to all of you. I never wanted to lie-"

"I know," I cut her off, and her eyes widen slightly. I stop myself from looking at the other girl. "But I don't know why. You can tell me when you want; I've always trusted you, Jihyo. You're the type to have a reason for everything. And you've protected all of us from so much that I doubt you'd truly intend to hurt any of us." I squeeze her hand, and the way her lips curl up into a shy smile makes my heart soar. I'm glad that she still has some type of genuine smile in her. "I don't know if I've told you, but I love you. I can only hope that Jeongyeon will understand."

"She will," Dahyun adds, voice soft. "She always did come around." It didn't take long for any of us to figure out what Jeongyeon had developed with Jihyo once her secret came out. They both confided in each other, and if Jeongyeon's once bright eyes when she looked at Jihyo were any indication, feelings definitely became involved. Nayeon, too, but I won't tell anyone else if they don't know.

"Thank you both. This," she chokes, and I smile reassuringly as I wipe a tear away from her cheek, "I'm sorry for crying, but this means a lot. Does everyone else hate me?"

"No one hates you, my dear," I say. "No one ever could. The others will come around, we both promise."

"I really wish there was a way to truly express my gratitude. I don't deserve you two, really."

"It's quite the opposite," Dahyun speaks up. Jihyo's eyebrows furrow before she adds, "We don't deserve you. My parents did always tell me that one day God would send me an angel. It's cheesy, but I believe you're the angel. You're the exact replica of one."

"That's sweet, Dahyun." Jihyo's eyes finally brighten just the slightest bit. Before she can speak again, I hear someone clear their throat.

"Are these yours, Jihyo?" She brushes her hair back, and the way her eyes lock on mine send a chill down my spine.

"They're supposed to be the girls I take care of, yes," Jihyo shifts in her chair to look at the girl. "This is Sana and Dahyun."

"Jennie," she replies smoothly. "I'm not officially in charge of my group, but I'd like to think I am. One of your friends knows one of mine, I believe. They met as Jinyoung was buying us." The way she speaks is nothing short of cold, and I can't help the feeling in my stomach and chest that warns me of something I can't decipher.

"You're from YG?" Dahyun questions, and I fight the protective feeling that makes me want to wrap her up away from Jennie.

"I am. A pathetic little bastard, I'll tell you," the corner of her lips curve upwards into a smile. "You're adorable, what sign?"

"Gemini."

"Oh, I love those. Sana?" 

"What?" I straighten myself to match her gaze. 

"What sign? I'm curious. You don't look like any I'm used to."

"What are you used to?" Jennie laughs, and Jihyo's eyes flicker back and forth between us. I'm suddenly curious as to why she's even here because I highly doubt she knows Jihyo personally, "and why are you here?"

"Earth, fire, and air. Are you a water?" Jennie comes closer to me causing Dahyun to back away. The same protective instinct that I had buried comes back. 

"You didn't answer my question."

"Answer mine, and I'll answer yours, darling." She plays a nice game, but that's all I'll give her. Somehow I believe she would understand Jeongyeon. Maybe Mina herself.

"Earth. Capricorn."

"Lovely, I'm a Capricorn as well. I hope we get along just as Lisa did with Mina." I stiffen as my thoughts flood back to Mina, and the pills, and how someone from YG gave her them. Could it have been Lisa? Or maybe it was Jennie. Fuck, it could have been anyone. That doesn't stop the heavy fire I feel boiling in my veins. Whoever gave Mina the pills has no clue what the hell she started, and I can't get the thought that Mina could end up hurt out of my head. 

My mind races, and I feel my pulse speed up. I feel a body under my hands, and I can't see straight at all, and everything is too fucking loud. There's a natural feeling that I've never felt before that comes from God only knows where, so I allow it to happen. When I blink, I notice Jennie a couple of feet away with pieces of rock trailing in front of her, the anger still rising inside of my chest. If they want to hurt Mina, I'll have to hurt them, I guess. It only seems right.

And through the mess of my emotions taking over, I can tell that Jennie has been mature much longer than I will ever be because the way she guides herself into the air on a leafy vine so effortlessly is nothing but skilled. She's fast, too, the way her hands and feet move to redirect everything I try to send towards her. Really, I'd much rather just use my fucking hands, but there's the heavy realization that I'm maturing, and that I should really calm down because Dahyun and Jihyo could end up hurt, but I can't stop myself from knocking Jennie back down to her feet, forcing her up against an empty bookshelf, "The fuck did Lisa give to Mina?" My words come out as a growl, and I cringe as Jennie smiles, redirecting herself away from me. Something tightens around my ankles, but I'm quick to dissolve the strong, dark vine.

"Depends," she replies, and I feel sick. My muscles are becoming weaker, but my mind and heart are still pounding with emotion and thought, "pills?" I bite into my lip hard as I clench my fists once more, finally able to slam her into a wall. I hear someone yell, Dahyun, Jihyo, or even Jennie, I can't tell as I grab onto the front of her shirt recklessly. 

"Calm down," she breathes. I feel myself smile though I don't mean to, a white hand coming to rest at Jennie's neck. "Sana!" Her words are choked, her eyes wide as the hand tightens around her throat. I laugh, and I hate how I feel so powerful at the fact that I've got someone under me, practically begging to just breathe. To live.

I feel something envelop me, pulling me back hard until I'm several feet away from Jennie. I blink to try and see clearer, the image of Jihyo checking on Jennie as I feel a pair of arms wrap around me. I feel sick, and my head fucking hurts, and now I can't breathe, and I want to die.

"Sana," Dahyun's voice is mellifluous to my ears, a warm, welcoming home that I want to stay in, "Sana, what the hell?" I smile once more, allowing the fatigue to settle in my soul.

"Mina," I force out, my voice raspy and barely there. "Mina."

"Fuck," Dahyun swears, and my heart drops as I realize what I've done. "Jihyo, is she okay?"

"Jennie's alright. Jackson and Jaebum are coming to get her," I'm not sure how long it is after Jihyo speaks, but I hear doors slam open violently. As I look around, I take in the sight of the room, which in simple terms, is a complete mess. Jennie gives me a look, one that's sympathy and an apology all in one. I try apologizing as well, but I can't. The words don't come out because all I'm worried about is Mina and those stupid fucking pills that are going to ruin her.

I stand up surprisingly easy despite my fatigue, my apology long lost as I stumble towards her once more. I don't want to hurt Jennie, I really don't, but my mind won't function like I want it to, and I find myself being pulled back by stronger arms than Dahyun's. Cold metal wraps around my wrists, and I scoff, straining against them. I hear them snap, and my body nearly moves on its own, wrapping Jinyoung up in what I believe could be several vines, but I'm not sure where I could have gotten them, before holding him up against the wall like I did to Jennie, "You wanna hurt us again? Dare you to try it."

Jinyoung growls, low in his throat, "Goddamn it, Jihyo, the needle!" I turn, surely dropping Jinyoung. I want to feel terrible, but my body refuses to let me truly feel, and I hate it because I want to be normal, and I want to have control.. There's a sharp pain shooting up my leg and pouring into every other part of my body, and I swear, my eyes locking onto Jihyo's. They're soft, and Dahyun's hand is on my shoulder, and I can't fucking see now because everything is black, and-

I feel fragile as Dahyun kisses my forehead, her cheeks wet.


	24. use

YOO JEONGYEON'S P.O.V.  
****  
The calm before the storm.

I would consider the calm to be Nayeon, and I'd consider myself to be the storm. I am a reckless mess, just waiting to burst. The cell I was in made me so sick. It was gray, and dull, and it was too much like a reflection of myself that I just wanted to run the fuck away. And I could have definitely tried destroying it, but Jinyoung had done something. I couldn't even try to make a goddamn puddle if I wanted.

What I did wasn't right, that I know. But I don't regret it. If Jihyo wants to ruin me more than I already am then I think it's alright to leave a couple of bruises on her. She can handle it.

Love is stupid. Love is overrated. I didn't love Jihyo, simple. I was an idiot, and I perceived admiration as love. Maybe I am truly broken because I can't even feel anything for Nayeon now. I feel fucking empty. I feel like my heart is just beating because that's its job. I don't feel alive.

Trust is stupid, too. Nayeon lied to me about knowing about Jihyo. And I have no clue for how long it lasted, but it hurts. Everything hurts so much, and I feel like I can't breathe, and suddenly jumping off of the top floor of JYPE seems like the best idea in the world right now. If Momo doesn't need me anymore, what worth do I have? 

The water is increasingly getting hotter, and I know that it's because of my emotions getting in the way, but the way it burns my skin is so nice that I don't care at all. I push my hair out of my face, exhaling shakily. Crying is useless, so I won't let myself. 

I'm not mad at Nayeon. I'm really not, because Jihyo could have made her lie to keep her own secret safe. Jihyo is the one I should be mad at, and I am. I am so fucking pissed that anytime I think of her, my blood boils. And I could care less if I hurt her. I just don't want her around me. The thought of seeing her again makes my stomach twist and my nerves light up.

I hear someone knock three times on the door, and then I hear it open and close. I don't have to ask who it is because every single time she knocks, it's always the same way. I breathe in to try and gather my thoughts, "Jeong?"

"Yeah?" My voice is raspy, and it's obvious that I was thinking too much. I swear silently, splashing water onto my face.

"You're thinking. The, uh, water started getting really hot, and when Momo tried to fix it, well, it only got worse. The kitchen ended up flooded," I almost think it's absurd, but knowing both myself and Momo, well, it isn't hard to believe. "Do you wanna talk?"

"I'm in the shower, Nayeon," I deadpan. She snorts, and I know she rolls her eyes.

"And? I've seen you naked before, Jeong, it won't bother me. I just want to help you sort your feelings out like you do to me all the time," I stay silent, debating on whether or not I should open up again. "Unless you're uncomfortable! I could totally stay out here or leave or, um, yeah, like- I'm rambling, sorry."

"I've already told you to have some confidence," I scold her lightly. Nayeon hasn't lied to me yet. Other than the Jihyo situation, and I've already told myself that I don't blame Nayeon. She's a sweet girl, and from what I know about her, she has no reason to lie. "You can come in if you want. I can't promise I won't make a mess of you though." And maybe the room, too. If I think too much, surely I'll flood the entire bathroom as well.

I hear shuffling, clothes falling to the floor, and then the curtains to the shower are suddenly pulled back. I used to turn red, but not anymore. Nayeon understands me, and I understand her. Bodies aren't anything compared to what we've been through, "The hair dye faded," she notes, her fingers already tangling in my wet hair, "and it's grown a lot. You look pretty."

"I don't feel pretty," I laugh. Nayeon huffs, grabbing onto my shoulders before spinning me around, my back now pressing into the cold tile. I breathe in sharply when her eyes settle on mine.

"Oh, love, you're so beautiful. Talk to me, how are you feeling?" Her voice is low, and sincere, and I feel better when she smiles carefully.

"Like hell," I tell her, "it really isn't right. I don't understand why the fuck she lied, Nayeon. It hurts so bad, I feel like I'm suffocating all the damn time, and she still continues to fuck with my head. Who am I fooling when I say I don't care about her?" And I'm one hundred percent right because no matter how much I say I don't give a shit about her, or how I don't regret making the training room collapse on top of her. I regret hurting her, and I regret putting her in the fucking hospital, and I just wish I wasn't so angry with her.

"Yourself," Nayeon replies, squeezing my shoulders. "You're mad at her, but that's all. You don't hate her, do you?"

"I don't," the words blend into a whimper as I finally give in, allowing myself to break into pieces. Nayeon's left hand comes to rest on the back of my neck, pulling me into her arms. It's intimate, and close, and I can't deal with it because she cares like Jihyo did, and this place is more horrible than hell will ever think of being.

"You don't want to hurt her?"

"I don't."

"Do you love her?"

"No," I sniffle, wiping my eyes roughly. "I don't love her." Nayeon smiles sadly, cupping my cheek to lift my head up. I search her face, my chest tightening. The water is cold now, a violent, stinging feeling to my pink skin.

"Oh, my dear," she runs her thumb over my skin once, "you're so beautiful when you're in denial." There's regret, and anger, and desperation filling every part of my body, and I finally can't think as I press my lips against Nayeon's so sloppily that I can barely feel the tear trailing down my cheek. But I luck out as she returns it with the same fervor, and the way she pours herself into me, I know she's hurting as well. My fingers dig into the pale skin of her shoulder as she bites down onto my lower lip, pulling it back and releasing it with a breathy sigh, "this isn't how it should be, Jeong." She tells me, and I chuckle darkly.

"Don't care how it should be," I mumble against her lips before pressing my own against them once more. "Please make me feel." My voice falls as her thigh settles between my legs, her mouth surely making the most beautiful artwork on my neck. And I understand that this is wrong, and that I shouldn't be using Nayeon to get Jihyo out of my head, but she wants this, too. We both need this because we need to feel something other than pain. My head falls back as she captures my shoulder between her teeth, a low moan falling from my lips.

Heat settles into the pit of my stomach, much worse than before, as the water makes quick work with my skin, turning it red rather than pink, "Nayeon-" I gasp as I feel her nails mark down my stomach, settling between my legs, barely there, and I can't help but smile because it doesn't hurt so bad anymore. Her hand wraps around my throat, squeezing softly as her thumb brushes against where I need her most. She looks at me so sincerely, and so full of affection that I can't help but let myself cry again when she kisses me fully. I clutch at her shoulders when she fills me completely, my mouth falling open.

My hips move to their own accord as her hand tightens just the slightest bit, "What are you feeling, Jeong?" I bite into my lip hard, her hand dropping away from my neck as she lowers herself to my chest, capturing my left nipple between her lips. Her eyes never leave mine, and I feel vulnerable, and it's almost already too much.

"A lot." I force out, wrapping my hands in her wet hair. Her left hand grips my hips so hard that I'm sure they'll leave more bruises, but I'm content with that. I'm content with Nayeon trying to piece me back together by making me fall apart. So I relax into her touch, allowing myself to be free.

And it's hard for me to look at Nayeon sometimes when we happen to make eye contact because I can still feel her against me, and inside of me, and I can still hear every sound she made. And I can still remember Jihyo, and her lies, and I can't help but stay angry at myself because I really shouldn't have hurt her. And I should check on her, but I think I'd make myself sick if I saw her. Oh, but I miss her.

I miss her reassurance, and the way she always promised to only ever let me set the pace. I miss the way we'd meet up in the bathroom late at night to just talk and maybe slip in a few kisses here and there. I miss her being genuine.

Nayeon provides reassurance, of course she does, but it's different with Jihyo. I can admit that I love Nayeon, because I do, but Jihyo and Nayeon are different. Nayeon is softer, but she's wilder. And Jihyo is colder, but she's calmer, and she can handle stressful situations better than most of us. And yet I love-

I love Nayeon. I admire Jihyo.

Nayeon told me I was in denial, but I swear that I'm not. If I loved Jihyo, I wouldn't be mad at her right now. I wouldn't have acted so recklessly, and I wouldn't be refusing to see her. But I know enough. I know that she's alright, and that she's staying in a room at JYPE. I know that Jihyo is okay. But she's a liar.

Sundays aren't something I enjoy. The younger girls always go up to Jinyoung's church when they have free time, and Sunday is the only day that we're completely free. We're free to go wherever we want as long as Jackson is with us to make sure we don't mess anything up or hurt ourselves. Jackson is a good man.

Jinyoung is... Less than good. God, he's fucking evil. I hate how manipulative he is to Jihyo, and the fact that he probably knew about her being a Zodiac, and his name always makes my mouth taste sour. I don't want to waste my breath on him, but I can't help but get angry with him each time I think about him. No matter how angry I am at Jihyo, I don't wish for her to have to deal with him.

And Sunday is the day I'm face to face with him, handcuffs holding me back from trying anything. Jackson is standing next to me, unmoving, as Jinyoung scowls, "Have you found love?" He questions. I raise an eyebrow at him, searching through my thoughts to comprehend his words. I smile when I realize that he's talking about the marks Nayeon left.

"It's not like I had time to make myself all pretty for you, Jinyoung," the way his face falls in anger is worth it. "What, are you jealous?"

"Jackson, do you see what I mean?" He scoffs, coming closer until he's able to grip my chin between his thumb and forefinger. "Absolutely annoying. Has no respect for her elders, and could care less about the power she holds," he pauses before shaking his head, "or rather, she does. She knows what she's capable of."

"Don't talk about me like I'm not here," I warn, straining against the handcuffs. I move my head, but he follows quickly. "Don't touch me."

"I don't think you're in the perfect position to be giving orders."

"I could kick your ass," I tell him. "I told you."

"How did that work out last time?"

I fall silent as he drops his hand, circling around me. I feel so uncomfortable that I could surely throw up on his too expensive floor, "Do you know why I've got you here?"

"To throw me around like some doll?" I joke. He would though.

"I'm more mature than to stay angry with you. I understand your point of view now," The apology I'm waiting for never comes. Not like it would matter anyway. I wouldn't forgive him. He'll only ever continue to tear me apart. And in turn, I'll only ever tear Nayeon and Jihyo apart. "You'll stay in a cell."

"Again? You've gotta be fucking with me." I suddenly wish I could drown his ass. Jinyoung looks at Jackson once, and before I know it, he's forcing me into the elevator harshly. I would swear at him, but I understand how he has to act in front of Jinyoung. As soon as the doors close, he breathes slowly, "I'm sorry about that."

"About Jinyoung or you?" I ask, though I know the answer. I can still try and play around with him.

"Both. He's become a dick lately," Jackson clasps his hands together, still looking at the ground. "Also about Jihyo." My heart fucking clenches, and I hate how I have to bite into my lip to keep from tearing up. She's so stupid. And so am I for trusting her. 

"Don't mention her name." I keep my voice steady; the last thing I need is for my emotions to get the better of me on an elevator. He mumbles another apology, and I kind of feel bad. The elevator stops and the doors slide open to reveal a dark gray room. I shiver from the dull walls, and the creepy paintings. This room makes me feel something I can't even describe. Jackson clears his throat when he catches sight of another worker (he's wearing that stupid black shirt, so he must be an employee), grabbing onto my arms. He guides me down a hallway and then into a room that isn't gray. It's not much better though, being completely black. There's a body facing the wall on the bed, and I can only look at Jackson for an answer.

"Roommate." He replies simply, uncuffing me before shutting the door. I hear a lock turn, and then footsteps, so he must be gone. I search the dark room for a lamp, squinting my eyes even though I can't see at all. I hear shuffling, and I freeze up because there's anxiety pooling my stomach. What if my roommate is a murderer? What if I've never in my life seen them, and I'll end up dead, and I won't see Momo or Nayeon again. The thought of never seeing Jihyo again both eases and raises the anxiety.

"Who the hell are you?" A voice speaks, and I jump, still squinting.

"Sana?"

"Jeong?" More shuffling, and then a click as a lamp turns on. Her eyes are dark and lifeless, and my heart sinks. 

"Why are you here?"

"Have you not heard?" She laughs, but it lacks any emotion. I shake my head as she sits up, brushing her hair out of her face. "I fucked up really bad." And it's then that I notice her tear stained cheeks, and red eyes. I don't have to think twice before sitting down next to her, wrapping an arm around her.

"Talk to me," it isn't a question, but rather a statement. Luckily she doesn't fight much at all.

"Jennie," her voice cracks, "one of those new girls. Her friend gave Mina these stupid fucking pills, and she can't sleep or eat, but she keeps throwing up, and she looks so dead, Jeong. And I can't help her because that idiot locked me in here. I tried calling her, but this cell is absolutely hell."

"Please tell me you're kidding," she shakes her head, and I groan. "Mina wouldn't take some dodgy pills from a stranger."

"They're supposed to suppress your element or some dumb shit like that," her fists tighten until they're white. "They worked for that Lisa girl. She's the one that gave them to her."

"Lisa?" The name sounds familiar. I swallow, rubbing my eyes with my free hand. "Nothing good has come out of this place. That doesn't tell me why you're here though, Sana. Don't tell me you've killed someone."

The room becomes silent, and my pulse raises before she speaks, low and careful, "Almost."

"Almost?" It's more of a shout, and I'm suddenly glad that the walls are so thick.

"I didn't mean to. I lost my temper, and I guess that triggered something because I was destroying the room, and slamming her up against things, and I didn't feel a thing, Jeongyeon. I felt like I was playing with a fucking remote control car, but the car was a living, breathing human, and I was the controller. I didn't give a shit about her, but I feel so bad now. I didn't want to." She breaks on the last word, burying her head into my shoulder until I shift so that she's soaking the front of my shirt. I cup the back of her head in my hands, pressing my nose into the top of her head. "And Dahyun hasn't talked to me since they got me, and I just feel so tired. Sleep doesn't fix anything." Her words hit hard, and I almost lose my breath. I understand how she feels.

"You'll be okay," I breathe, kissing her head once, "I promise you'll be okay. We'll work through this together."

"Why can't we just let ourselves fall apart? That's the only thing that will happen in the end, Jeongyeon," she coughs, bunching the front of my shirt up in her hands. "It's inevitable."

Though her words may be true, I refuse to think about it right now. I want to let myself go, I want to jump from the top of the building, I want to die. But I don't want to leave the other girls alone. I don't want Jinyoung to get his hands on them, "Don't think like that. Don't be like me. Think about Dahyun, and think about Momo, and Chaeyoung, and Tzuyu. Think about all of us. Think about the home you've found in Dahyun." I'm not an idiot to think that Dahyun isn't the girl she's found a home in. Those two are more connected than I am with myself, and I'm happy that Sana has found someone to confide in other than me.

Before Sana can reply, the window to the door of the cell slides open, and a pair of eyes settle on us. I hear them laugh, "Are you Mina's friends?" Her voice is cold, but I don't fear her.

"Yeah," I reply easily, staying by Sana. "Who are you?"

"Great, great. Which one of you tried to kill Jennie?" The room turns darker than it already is, and before I know it, the girl is in front of us. I stand up in front of Sana, my thoughts beginning to race. I thought this room didn't allow powers? How the hell did she- Goddamn. This place is insane.

"How'd you do that?"

"Not my concern, and it shouldn't be yours. So was it you? You look brave." I roll my eyes, my temper controlling my bravery. If she wants to do anything, she has the advantage.

"The fuck are you gonna do?" I grin, stepping closer to her. I'm more than likely getting myself into a mess much larger than I am, but if it makes her keep away from Sana, I'm all for it. The girl rolls her eyes, smiling at me. I blink, and there's another girl in front of me. God, I am screwed.

"So the one behind you is Sana?" The girl asks, and before I can open my mouth, the other one has Sana by the neck against the wall. My temper finally gets the better of me, and I feel myself grab the front of her shirt, biting my tongue as I slam her into the wall behind her. It cracks, and I can only smile. If they can use powers, why can't I?

I try to let the water flow from my fingertips, but nothing happens. I'm forced back by the girl, a large, hot current of air making me trip over my own feet as I try to steady myself. My back hits the wall, and I look over just in time to see Sana twist out of the dark haired girl's grip, the ground below her shaking violently. We all stumble, I'm sure, and before I can refocus myself, my attacker has me thrashing against the wall. Sana's hands shake violently as a bright coloured bolt shoots from the palm of her hands, causing the other girl to swear. Why the fuck can't I do anything?

"Chill the fuck out, and let's talk!" I force out, struggling against the air that's forcing its way into my lungs. I feel like I'm choking, and Sana is doing her best, and I'm nothing but useless-

"Sana didn't want to talk to Jennie," she tells me, curling her fingers. My throat tightens, and I gasp for air. I'm dropped suddenly, my ankle twisting as I hit the ground. There's a sharp pain in my leg, but I ignore it as my eyes settle on a white hand wrapping around the girl's throat. The other one is held captive by what looks like a vine, and in any other situation it would be confusing, but this one? I'm proud of Sana. When I can finally catch a glimpse of her face, I notice her eyes are black rather than white, and it makes me shiver. She looks dark.

"You look so pretty with my hand wrapped around your neck," Sana's voice is raspier than usual, and she doesn't seem like herself. She tilts her head, cupping the girl's cheek as the white hand tightens. She gasps and chokes, but Sana doesn't relent. "Tell me who you are and I might not hurt you too badly." I'm frozen, unable to look away. I don't want to admit it, but I feel scared, and it isn't of the other two girls in the room.

"Rosé." The hand loosens, and Rosé breathes in heavily. The hand doesn't drop her however. Sana chuckles lowly.

"What about the girl I'm seconds away from snapping her neck?" 

"Jisoo."

"Good girl," Sana purrs, leaning in closer. The ground rumbles once, and when I look over to my right, I notice Jisoo gone. So she must have escaped. Sana turns sharply, swearing as she drops the hand. "I plan to talk to you later." She tells Rosé, her voice lilting. The vine retracts, and we're left alone in a room that's cracked and dirty. Sana's eyes fade, and it's then that I notice she's crying. Though I feel fear, I take her back into my arms.

"That's not me." She whimpers. I feel myself cry as well as I tighten my arms around her. I don't believe any of us are our selves anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! a quick little thing just so you know: im going on a week long hiatus to write longer chapters as;dklfjsadg also i have never in my life tried to write smut so i kept it short and simple but just enough to represent the shit 2yeon are going through rn :))))


	25. solidity

SON CHAEYOUNG'S P.O.V.  
****  
I breathe in steadily to calm my pounding heart. My skin feels as if it's on fire, and each time I blink, my vision becomes blurrier. None of this seems too real. I want to wake up any second now, and be able to laugh because none of this has happened. But it wouldn't feel right. No matter how much pain we go through, no matter how much I'm scared, I'd miss all of these girls. 

My pain increases, as does my fear, when I hear of Jeongyeon and Sana being locked away for only God knows how long. And my distrust and anger increases when I hear of Jihyo lying to us. It isn't right. She made all of us so vulnerable just to break us apart. I feel a weight on my chest as I think about her.

All of us have reacted so differently, so vividly. Jihyo was like... My second mother in a way. I'd like to think she could still be like that because I don't know her side of the story. But it doesn't look too fantastic for her right now.

I'm close to Jeongyeon as well, and I look up to her just as much as I did Jihyo. I feel as if I am stuck between the both of them, and neither one is winning. I am irrational sometimes, but Jeongyeon is irrational most of the time. She is more mature than I am, she understands how to handle situations better than I do. But the Jihyo situation was different, and she reacted the worse. And I can tell that she deeply regrets it. It shows in her eyes when Jihyo is brought up, but underneath that regret, she feels anger. The anger she feels is almost stronger than the regret.

Nayeon knew before any of us did. I'm not angry that Jihyo trusted her with the secret. As I've already confirmed, I don't know the whole story. It could have been an accident, and Jihyo forced Nayeon into hiding. Or she could have willingly told her. I don't care either way; it isn't my fight. Nayeon is still in pain though. It's too obvious. More than it should be.

There's too much going on, and my chest is tight every time I think about it. Jihyo still hasn't come home, but she's better, I know she is. She's strong. And Dahyun is stressed over Sana, who we haven't been allowed to see since they locked her up, and Jeongyeon is with her, and we can't have any contact whatsoever, and-

I breathe in shakily. We have all been struggling over our own battles since day one. JYPE has only increased them. Momo is worried sick over Jeongyeon, Mina, and Sana, and Mina can't do anything but sleep because she's so weak, but I don't know why. I know that she's been taking pills, but she says that they're to ease her mind. It makes me feel like whatever bond we formed is no longer there. But I can only accept her need for privacy.

The one person I should be taking care of right now is Tzuyu though. She's younger than me, not by much, but I still feel an overwhelming need to protect her. She's lonely, and she misses her family, and she misses Jihyo. She feels just as betrayed by Jihyo as everyone else initially did. But how could anyone blame her? Tzuyu confided in Jihyo more than she confided in me.

And it's no secret that Sana and Dahyun have found a home in each other, and how Jeongyeon fell deeply for Jihyo (I swear that Nayeon is involved in the mix, but I won't think about it too much). So I believe that it shouldn't be so selfish that what I feel for Tzuyu is more than platonic. Seeing her so upset makes my entire soul ache. I want to do anything and everything possible to make her just the slightest bit happy again, and I will. 

It's an absolutely terrible, and stupid, and crazy idea, but it's something I should do.

 

"You want me to fly Tzuyu's parents here?" Jinyoung deadpans. I almost roll my eyes. I shouldn't even be here because of what he provoked, and how he doesn't give a shit about us, but it's the quickest way I can get them here. Plus I don't want to stress Jihyo out right now despite her being completely recovered. She already has enough on her plate.

"Please?" I ask, shifting around, "I realize how busy you are-"

"Right? So you should leave me alone. Flying her parents here won't be easy. Do you not realize what's going on, Chaeyoung?"

"I do, and that's why I need them here. And, um," I bite my lip, deep in thought. I don't want to say the next words, but it's the best thing to say to a man like him, "the most dangerous Zodiacs are locked away right now. So it isn't like there will be much damage caused if something goes wrong."

"I understand. And I understand how capable you and the other young women are. Any of you could do just as much as Jeongyeon, Sana, and Dahyun can. It's just a matter of when it will happen." He says it so calmly that I feel nauseous. I know that I destroyed one room, but I've gained more control since then.

"I know. Can't Jackson stay with us though?" At this point I'm trying everything and anything I can do convince Jinyoung.

"Chaeyoung, I can't. There's too much at risk." I allow my temper to get the best of me as I turn on my heels, muttering under my breath about how much of an asshole he is.

"You're too afraid that a couple of Zodiacs you've known for months will ruin your precious building, but you'll bring in four fucking strangers who could absolutely destroy everything you've created. That's so smart of you," I scoff. The four that he brought in give me strange vibes, and honestly, it doesn't make sense. "You're just as thick as Jeongyeon says you are."

"And how smart is Jeongyeon?" He raises his voice, and I turn around, feeling absolutely nothing. "She's smart enough to get herself locked up. Those four women I brought in have done absolutely no wrong. If they did, I'd like you to know that I'd have them locked up as well."

"She's smarter than you'll ever be," I lower my voice, my hands shaking, "she did what she believed was right, Jinyoung. You would do the same." There's a feeling in the back of my mind that they're not as innocent as Jinyoung believes they are, but what do I know? Feelings are feelings. Logic would be better in this situation.

"I have more sense than to throw a temper tantrum. If locking her a way for a while won't fix her attitude, then I'll do what I wanted to do to Momo. You're lucky I haven't scheduled another appointment."

"You wanna try and hurt them?" I inhale, red blurring my vision, "go ahead. Try some dumb shit, Jinyoung, and I swear to fucking God I'll rip apart both you and this building. They're fine the way they are."

"You can't. Chaeyoung, dear, I'm stronger than you will ever dream of being." In my current state of mind, though I'd rather not, I take his words as more of a challenge. I keep eye contact with him as I slam my foot into the ground, clenching my fist as the mark pulses violently. The ground jerks violently, and I notice cracks forming in the floor. It makes me feel almost as satisfied as I should be, so I curl my fingers, the floor below Jinyoung dipping quickly. It doesn't collapse completely, but it's just enough to make him aware. 

"Lisa!" he says, and I allow myself to pause. I blink once, and I notice flames dissipating to reveal a woman. I glance between her and Jinyoung, but she's quicker than I am, grabbing onto me and yanking me back before I can finish making the room collapse. I growl, struggling against her grip.

"Hey, kid, chill out," she whispers, and suddenly there's too much heat around me. I gasp, the pain lighting up my entire body, so much that I can't do anything but accept it. But it's gone as quickly as it comes, and when I open my eyes, I'm standing on a roof completely unharmed. "See? Wasn't so bad, was it?"

"Who the fuck are you?"

"Who do I look like?" She smiles, and it's so annoying that I have to stop myself from lunging towards her. 

"Screw that," I breathe, the anger slowly leaving my body. I can't fucking stand Jinyoung. "Why'd you take me away from him? Do you not realize-"

"Love, I realize a lot. Jinyoung took me from a man who abused me for years. I wouldn't let any harm come to Jinyoung. Now, why don't you tell me what you were planning to do? You haven't been mature long, have you?"

"Name."

"Lisa. You're Chaeyoung, aren't you?"

"I mean, who else would I be?" And I know that I could be literally anyone else, but that doesn't stop my tongue from running on its own. "I wanted to kick his ass."

"Not smart."

"It was smart at the time," I roll my eyes, backing away from her until my heels are right on the edge of the building.

"You need something to calm that temper of yours," Lisa laughs, and I raise an eyebrow. She pulls a bag out of her jacket. I squint, barely able to make out green and red coloured pills. "You have a bad enough temper to be a fire."

"Well, I'm an earth," I scowl. Lisa is suddenly in front of me, and I nearly lose my balance. "Look, you don't understand what the hell Jinyoung has done."

"And you don't understand what your friends have done to mine," Her hand rests on my shoulder, her eyes dark and unwavering. "But I'll let you go because you're not my target. Take these," she forces the bag into my hand, "and maybe your other friend needs some more. Mina, isn't it?" It's then that the once blurry thought becomes clear, and I force her back away from me. She stumbles, but is quick to catch her balance.

"You really don't wanna start a fight with me. I'll have you dead in seconds," I chew on my inner cheek. "What's the deal?"

"What kind of pills are those?"

"Simple. You take them consistently, and you won't have to deal with those unfortunate powers of yours. Mina seemed all too eager to take them." That doesn't sound like Mina at all though. Are those what's been messing her up so badly lately?

"Mina's been suffering," I narrow my eyes, "can they hurt you?"

"Hurt me? They did for a while, but you get used to them. They shouldn't hurt her too bad." The thought of Mina getting hurt at all, makes me swear internally. I could definitely try attacking her right now, but she's a fire sign, and it wouldn't be smart of me at all. I can control my temper, it's alright. It's fine. It's perfect.

"Well stop giving them to her, and I don't want them."

"I can't stop her from taking them, it's her choice." Lisa shrugs.

"Well stop fucking handing them out." Lisa opens her mouth, but I shrug her off, letting myself fall from the top of the building. It's peaceful, and I know that I should be angry right now, and that I should be fearing for my life, but I'm the most logical than I've been since I came to JYPE. I wait until I pass the ninth floor to form a long vine. It slows my falling, and before I know it, I'm on the ground safely. I shake my head, making my way to find Jihyo.

I have to be more careful than I normally would be because I'm sure that Jinyoung is looking for me now to lock me away with Sana and Jeongyeon. At the same time, I don't even care.

I'd like to believe that Somi is on our side because even when she tells me that she knows about my attack, and Jeongyeon's, and Sana's, she leads me into the room she's staying in. It's tidy, and it doesn't look like anything happened to it. Unless they moved her to a different room because according to Somi, Sana nearly destroyed the room.

Jihyo's back is turned to me, typing away at her computer. I make my way over to her after thanking Somi, resting my hand on her shoulder. She jumps, and I smile softly, "Hi."

"Chaeyoung? Why are you here? Wait, it's not like I don't want you here, but aren't you angry with me?" The way her words are rushed, and her eyes are slightly red as if she's been crying makes my chest tighten more than it was previously.

"Angry? No. Disappointed? A lot. It hurts that you didn't trust me, but I won't hold it against you because I don't know your side of the story. You can tell me when you're ready. But I need to make these two things quick because more than likely Jinyoung is looking for me, and I need to get to Tzuyu before he finds me." I stutter over a couple of words, more than likely due to my adrenaline. Jihyo's eyes widen slightly, and I swallow.

"I feel absolutely terrible for lying, I promise I'll find a way to make it up to you. Why are you running though? Do you need help?"

"I don't need help, I need everyone safe. I fucked up a bit. You don't have to make it up to me, just tell me when you'll be back. I don't care what anyone else says, we all miss you." 

"I don't know," Jihyo tells me, and I groan. "Jeongyeon needs space-"

"Jeongyeon needs you! We all do. I don't give a damn that you lied, Jihyo, I really don't, I just wish you could have told us yourself. I'll never hold it against you. Just come back," she blinks, and I notice tears forming in her eyes. "Whenever you're ready. I love you."

"Thank you, Chaeyoung. I love you, too, even though it may not seem like it."

"It seems like it. I have a favour to ask of you though,"

"You don't have to ask me, I'll do whatever you need." I can't help the smile that forms on my lips before I kiss her forehead. It's a silent gesture to express my gratitude.

"I need you to fly Tzuyu's parents here. And somehow get her dog, too. She needs it right now."

"I will. Give her my love please. I'd like to see her if she wants to see me." I nod before hearing a man's voice yell from outside the room. She seems to understand despite me not using words. I take off as fast as I can, not looking behind me.

I stay with Lisa for days. And though I'm angry at her, and I can't stand that she hurt Mina indirectly, it's the safest place I can be right now if I want to keep Tzuyu out of trouble. And I leave as soon as Jihyo calls me, informing me that her parents are right outside JYPE's walls. There's anxiety, and excitement, and I don't know what to even say as I arrive at the dorm.

It's quick, with some begging on my end and cooperation on Tzuyu's end to get her out of the house. And I realize that it's definitely not good right now because more than likely they're still looking for me, but I don't care anymore.

Tzuyu's smile when she notices her parents is nothing short of extraordinary. And the way she silently understands why I'm in such a panic is so endearing to me that I can't help but grin when she invites her parents back to our dorm. The basement locks much more securely than any other room in the dorm, so I don't fear as much. The only thing I care about right now is making sure Tzuyu can see her parents before I get taken away.

"Chaengie, you really didn't have to-"

"I wanted to." I interrupt her, wiping away her tears. She began crying as soon as her eyes met with her parents', and she just hasn't stopped. It melts my heart. Gucci licks at my arm, so I drop my hand to pet his soft fur.

"Chaengie? Is that your name?" Her mother speaks, and her voice is so gentle that it calms my nerves.

"Um, Chaeyoung, yes. You're so beautiful! Wait, was that appropriate to say? Sorry-"

"Your girlfriend is adorable, Tzuyu," heat rises to my face, and when I glance at Tzuyu, her cheeks are red as well. She seems to catch notice of mine because she smiles, sniffling once.

"She is, isn't she?" My heart leaps so hard against my chest that it hurts, and I cough loudly. She pats my back, a smugger smile now in place.

Her father speaks this time, in a language I can't understand. It must be Tzuyu's mother tongue, then. Her mother is quick to translate, "He said that he appreciates you trying to get us here. It means the world to us to see our little girl again. He's right. Thank you so much, Chaeyoung."

"You're welcome," I stutter. "Should I leave you alone? I know that you'd probably like some privacy-"

"You're welcome to stay if you'd like, Chaeyoung. We should get to know the person so kind as to take care of our baby."

My mind suddenly begins to race, and I feel as if I should leave immediately. But I can't disappoint her parents, and I can't worry Tzuyu, so I stay still despite my shaking hands.

"Are you a Zodiac as well?" 

"Taurus," I force out before biting my lip. Tzuyu's hand brushes over the top of mine, and she takes it, squeezing softly, "I'm a Taurus."

"Lovely. I realize that Zodiacs mature at some point, and considering you two are apart of them, I'd like to know how you've been taking all of this in. Tzuyu wrote me a letter a while back telling me that she matured. I hope Jinyoung is treating you nicely." I almost scoff. Almost.

"Tzuyu's safe," I confirm. "But I can't say he's perfect. Everyone has flaws, don't they?" I'm sure that I hear a noise from upstairs, and I realize that I should definitely try leaving before something happens, so I fake a cough.

"I should really give you privacy. I'm feeling a bit, uh, sick? I don't want any of you to get sick, so I'll get going. Please enjoy the time you have with your daughter." I almost trip over my feet in my haste to get to the door, but as soon as I unlock it, it bursts open violently, smacking into the wall behind it.

There's three men, one being Jackson, and I can only glance at her family, mouthing an apology as one of them slap a pair of handcuffs on me. They're too tight, and they're cold, and they kind of hurt, but nothing can compare to the pain that floods through my body at Tzuyu's vulnerable expression. I decide that I should mouth something else to Tzuyu though I'm not thinking straight. It's effortless, the way it falls from my lips.

I love you. Be safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i forgot to update here my apologies sjajsdg;


	26. hiraeth

MYOUI MINA'S P.O.V.  
****  
Aching, weakness, barely able to breathe.

But at peace.

Though I cannot eat, and all I ever do is throw up, I am at peace. I don't have to worry about hurting anyone. I press into my mark as hard as I can with a shaky hand, pain shooting up my arm. I recoil with a heavy exhale. I try to relax back into the mattress, but my lungs are filled with water.

I took the first pill after I had talked with Momo days ago. Right after the training session. It felt fine, though it burned around my mark for a day. And I took another the next night. I felt okay. I felt happy up until the mess began.

Jihyo ruined most of us. And Jeongyeon tried to ruin her. And Nayeon was a liar, too, and Sana is a complete mess. Jackson and some other men I have never seen in my life took them away. And Chaeyoung has gone with them as well. All of this information only serves to make me feel worse. So I took two after that they took Jeongyeon and Sana away from me.

And my body ached worse than before, and I can't think straight, but I don't accidentally burn anything or anyone anymore. I like this, but I can't escape the suffering that I'm forced to endure. I want to go back to when I was young and made fun of, I want to go back to when my parents would finally come home after weeks of traveling.

I was lonely for such a long time, but I had Jeongyeon, Momo, and Sana, and I felt alright when they were with me. But I wanted something more. So I asked my parents for another sibling, one that would never outgrow me. What I got was something I still believe is better. They gave me a dog to keep me company. His name is Ray, and I can only hope that he still remembers me.

Ray did not fear me, Ray did not run from me. Ray thought that I was a good person. Ray kept me company when my parents weren't there, and while Kai was away. I'm not mad at Kai, I hope he knows that. Though we couldn't see each other often, I know he loves me, and I love him. Kai is away from me, so he'll be alright. He's somewhere in America doing what he loves. I can only hope that one day I can do the same.

Our home wasn't small, and that only made everything lonelier. Coming home with outstanding grades, smiling really wide because your parents told you that they would make it home that day, only to feel empty when they called you to tell you that their flight was delayed or that another meeting came up. It isn't something I would wish on any child. But it makes sense that it happened to me.

If you're an extremely well-known family brought up by yourself through hardwork and dedication, and you have a daughter who happens to be one of the most despised Zodiacs, well, it doesn't work out well. I'd like to think that they weren't ashamed of me, but every parent of a Zodiac is. No one wants their child to be one.

But I shouldn't be selfish. Nayeon's parents left her to fend for herself when they believed that JYPE would come and get her. Jeongyeon's parents gave her away to Momo's. And I've just recently learned that Dahyun didn't have it any luckier, as she scratches at her mark. She huffs, collapsing back onto the ground. I bite into my lip to keep from groaning as I stretch my arms above my head. My stomach feels weak, and my legs are barely holding me up.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I tell her. I'd like to think I'm good at lying though I know I'm not.

"Liar," Dahyun tilts her head.

"Yeah," I laugh, my throat burning, and a sour taste on the tip of my tongue. "I shouldn't bother you."

"But you should," she corrects me, "you can't spark a flame for the life of you. What happened? And don't lie to me. It hurts my feelings when you lie."

"Does it?" She nods. "Sorry."

"Don't try and avoid the subject either, Mina. I'm worried about you. You're so pale, and you've lost a lot of weight."

"It's that obvious?" I question. Dahyun nods again.

"Very. And your eyes are so dark and dead. You look like," she pauses, and she doesn't have to finish for me to understand. But she continues anyway, "You look like me."

"You're scared, too," I begin, steadying myself so that I can sit on the ground in front of Dahyun, "and I don't want to hurt anyone. We both don't. That's one thing that holds us together, Dahyun."

"Tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing is wrong. You know that new group?"

"I know them."

"I honestly don't think you'd believe me," I shake my head, pressing into my forehead with my open palm. Warm air wraps around me, and suddenly I'm much closer to Dahyun. She smiles softly, bringing my hand away from my face. She holds my chin with her free hand, forcing me to look into her eyes, and my stomach begins to feel even weaker.

"I believe you, love." The term of endearment warms my heart. She probably learned it from Sana. "Tell me all you want."

"A girl gave me some pills," The way her hand momentarily tightens around my wrist makes me nervous, but she gives me a look that makes me believe it's alright to continue, "they're supposed to suppress the element you control or something like that. I wasn't thinking too straight when she gave them to me. And I was scared, Dahyun. At first it was just an experiment to see if she was messing with me, but after hearing about what Sana and Jeongyeon did, it became more. I'm too scared to stop taking them because I know I'll hurt someone, and I don't want to. I want to be an innocent little girl again." I finish with a shaky breath. Dahyun's eyes darken slightly, but her smile never falters.

"Don't we all?" I scrunch my eyebrows together in thought. "We all want to be innocent again, Mina, but that will never come. From the day we were born, we have been dirty, and tainted. No one ever wanted us. I don't mind if you keep taking those pills. I want you to be happy though. I want you to believe you can be pure again, and I want you to be healthy. Those pills have ruined you more than God has though."

"What happened?" I breathe. Dahyun shrugs, but her eyes say something more. And the expression in her eyes drifts down onto her lips, spilling over the tip of her tongue.

"Sana happened. I saw her today. She told me about you, but she didn't tell me about the pills. Sana taught me so many things, Mina, and she opened my eyes. Now I know why you love her so much. Now I know why you look up to her, and treasure her, and I know why she does the exact same to you. We're all screwed up in the head, aren't we?" I nod, laughing softly. I feel like I want to cry, but I also don't feel much at all. "You need someone." I freeze up. 

"I- What?"

"You need a home. You need to find a home in someone here."

"Who's your home?"

"Sana," Dahyun replies easily, but she looks conflicted. She opens her mouth, closes it, and then opens it again, "and Momo. And you."

"Me?"

"Yes, I think. I have three homes. I love Sana, and I appreciate Momo. I love Momo. And I love you."

"You love me?" I can't seem to get over the fact that Dahyun chose me as a home. As someone she could confide in. I think I could allow myself to choose a home as well.

"I do. I love every single one of the girls here. But it's something different with you three. Am I selfish, Mina? Am I ruined enough for you?"

"I'm not sure you're thinking straight-"

"How could I? When I'm not afraid, I'm nervous, when I'm not nervous, I'm sad. When I'm not sad, I'm mad, and when I'm not mad, I'm empty. You're empty, too. And Momo is sad, and Sana is mad. We could create this wonderful storm, you know? We could save everyone from JYPE." I'm not sure how long I've been crying, but when I snap myself back into reality, my cheeks are wet, and my lips are salty.

"Chaeyoung taught you those words, didn't she?" I mean for it to be a joke, but I realize how beautiful Dahyun's mind is. She's smart, amazingly so, and she has a talent for picking out the details in everything. She can use those details that she finds to make a masterpiece, but the one she's trying to form right now is nothing but a disaster just waiting to happen.

"You know that I'm telling Momo, right?"

"I know."

"You know that I'm hurting terribly right now, right?"

"We both are."

"Do you know that I want to make a terrible decision?" Dahyun's eyes seemingly turn to black, and the atmosphere around us heats up. I hear thunder from outside of the building, and when I glance outside, I notice lighting, and rain, and heavy wind threatening to snap trees in half. I don't believe Dahyun is doing it until I notice the pulsing, and the bright light flowing from her wrist. I nod, and I know that I'm tearing everything to pieces, but the water from my lungs is suddenly leaving, and I can finally breathe as the salt entangles itself with Dahyun's lips. I grasp onto the front of her shirt, something sharp stabbing my finger. She apologizes, and her face is warm, and when I pull away to take a breath, I notice blood dripping from my finger, and then a yellow rose peeking from her jacket pocket.

I sniffle, pulling Dahyun flush against me, and I feel wrong, and dirty, but alive. I feel something that the pills could never accomplish, and my skin heats up as I bite down on her lower lip. She whimpers, and I can't help but grip her jacket harder in an attempt to calm the storm of emotions threatening to burst from my body. The rain from outside falls harder, and I'm sure that I hear something crash from outside, but I can't seem to stop from drinking Dahyun in because I'm selfish, and, as she said, tainted. 

She pulls back with a gasp before she smiles slowly, her cheeks red. She's crying, and I want to wipe her tears away, but I refrain from it. Dahyun tenses above me, and I begin to apologize because my head is finally clearing, and I know that Sana loves her, and-

Her fingers press against my lips, as if she knows what I'm going to say, "my choice. I- It was a mistake, wasn't it?"

"Do you love Sana?"

"With every part of my soul, yes."

"Then it was a mistake," I go to continue, but Dahyun is quicker.

"Do you love Sana?"

"Pardon?"

"Do you love Sana." It turns into more of a statement, and I swallow. 

"Of course I do," I love Jeongyeon, Momo, and Sana with every part of my being, but Momo holds my heart in an entirely different way. I'm not sure what I feel with Dahyun. I thought she we just someone who understood me, but after the kiss, my mind is racing. I felt something different than what I felt with Momo. It felt strange, but good. The rain is still aggressive, but it isn't as bad.

"Do you love Momo?"

"A lot." I don't have to think before answering such an easy question.

"What about me?" I stay silent, racing through my mind to find a reasonable answer. But I decide against thinking, and nod.

"I do. But not like that," Dahyun bites her lip, "I mean, maybe? I don't know. You should talk to Sana, Dahyun."

"You should talk to Momo."

Talking to Momo wouldn't be easy for me, this I knew without a thought.

I want to be brave. But it's hard to when you're afraid of nearly everything that's going on currently, and the people you're the closest to are being taken away from you one by one. It's only seconds until we're all locked away. But we should have seen it coming. Jeongyeon constantly pointed it out.

This place is so far from home.

I don't want to, but I find myself digging through my gray backpack that my brother had given me one of the few times he was home in search of a plastic bag. Something crinkles between my fingers, and I feel relieved as I bring the bag up to my face. There's one pill left, having found another bag a few days ago after a training session. Lisa seems to like disappearing. I close my eyes tight, sighing deeply at the colours that burst against the darkness of my eyelids. I stay like this for a few moments before opening them and grabbing the pill. Perhaps I should take two like I have been, but I can't. I go to place it on my tongue, but the door to the bedroom slams open so aggressively that I think a hole may have been put into the wall.

"Mina, you're damn stupid," Momo says harshly. She's in front of me in seconds, holding my wrists tightly. "Pills? You've gotta be fucking kidding me."

"Momo-"

"Don't Momo me. How long?"

"How long what?" I chew on my inner cheek, looking away from her face. She scoffs, pushing me back surprisingly gently until my back is flat on my mattress. She grabs the pill from my fingers, and places it on her tongue instead.

"You know what," she says, her words not coming out right. "If you lie, I swallow the pill."

"You'll end up sick, don't-"

"And you're not sick? Tell me." Her voice hardens, and it's so uncharacteristically Momo that I shiver.

"I don't know," I breathe, my cheeks surely red. "I didn't keep track. It hasn't been long." Momo rolls her eyes as she spits the pill out. 

"Tastes like shit,"

"Obviously. You're not supposed to let it dissolve." I find some bravery in the back of my mind. Momo's grip tightens. It's still raining, but it isn't due to Dahyun this time, I believe. Or it shouldn't be. I'm worried for her.

"And you're not supposed to be taking them at all," she growls, low in her throat. "You know that it's bad that I had to fucking find out from Sana and Dahyun. Do you not trust me, Mina?"

"It's not that-"

"Then what is it? Is it the fact that you knew I'd yell at you? Use that brain of yours, Mina, of course I'm going to yell at you! You're my other half, I don't want some stupid pills to ruin you piece by piece." My heart skips a beat, and then the guilt is back stronger than ever. Momo doesn't love me like that, so why should I be worried about it? The only thing she's revealed to me is that she cares immensely. It's what we discussed a long time ago.

"They'll help, and I'll get better, Momo." I want to promise her, but I don't want to lie like that. I'm not completely sure if I ever will get used to the pills like Lisa is.

"Help with what?"

"The fire," I whimper when her eyes turn colder, "I don't want it. I don't want to hurt anyone."

"Damn it, Mina," her voice finally softens, and her hands move to hold my face, "we've talked about this. You won't hurt anyone. You can't let fear control everything you do. We're all afraid of different things, darling. Do you not think I'm afraid of Sana, Jeongyeon, and Chaeyoung being locked away? Do you not think I'm afraid that I could hurt someone, too? I'm touching you right now, and I'm not getting hurt. You're not getting hurt either. You don't need pills to help you control yourself, you need support, and I'm ready to give that to you."

"I can't just forget about what I feel, Momo," 

"I know. But if you let me, I'll help you. We've already promised that we'll help each other, so I think it's time to start. We need to stay strong for Sana. And for Jeong, too. They're worried sick over us." She finishes with a breathy sigh, and I shut my eyes once more, "Dahyun has been helping you, hasn't she?"

"She tries," I lick my lips out of both habit and the memory of the kiss. It doesn't help me feel any better, "but it's been really different lately. I trust you, Momo, you know that, right?"

"I hope you do."

"Do you love Dahyun?" The silence that fills the air is nothing but awkward. I hear her swallow, her eyes leaving mine. "I won't be angry."

"It's not my place to love her," she replies. "She's Sana's."

"And Nayeon is Jeongyeon's. And Jihyo is, too. She'll realize that soon I hope. You can love someone who is taken." I loved Momo through her worst days when she would sleep around in hopes of feeling something other than hurt. She wasn't officially taken then, but it felt enough like it.

"I'm not dumb, I've seen the way those three used to look at each other. But I'm Momo, right? And Sana is Sana, and Dahyun is Dahyun. And there's someone else thrown into the mix, and that's too much. Isn't it?" She sounds vulnerable, and it hurts my heart. I don't like it when Momo is vulnerable.

"Homes are a thing," I mention, and I'm sure that Jeongyeon has told Momo about her views on love, and homes, and how they're associated, "and Dahyun has three homes, you know."

"My home is in you four." I don't have to think to know who she's talking about. Jeongyeon is her home as well.

"Am I a home for you?" I ponder. I know that Momo cares, but it feels strange.

"Of course. Tell me, who have you found a home in?" Though I feel guilt, heavy in my stomach and lungs, and my veins, I tug on the front of Momo's shirt. I can see Dahyun in her a bit, and that can only be because she loves Dahyun. She always has.

"Sana," I begin, staring down at her parted lips. Would I be using Momo? "You," I blink slowly as Momo leans closer to my lips. They're aching, and they still taste of Dahyun, and recklessness, "Dahyun."

"Did you give yourself to Dahyun today?" She asks, and I smile. It doesn't feel right, but I feel complete at the same time.

"I kissed her."

"Can I taste her through you?" I nod, and Momo is too quick to suck the guilt away from my body.


	27. reminiscence

TWO WEEKS LATER  
○○○○  
PARK JIHYO'S P.O.V.  
****  
Being taken away isn't something I experienced. Jinyoung came to my parents when I was young, too young, and requested that he take me with him for both safety reasons and, apparently, his own. I wasn't afraid then because of how my parents had brought me up. They made me realize that Jinyoung's intentions were nothing but good, so I didn't fear him.

Maybe I should have.

I was thirteen when he decided to change my name, and begin covering up my mark. I became Park Jihyo rather than Park Jisoo. I went from innocent to corrupted I believe. I became someone who would run errands for Jinyoung, and help him with very little things, or speak to Jackson and get information about him and his group. It wasn't until a few months ago when Jinyoung decided to put me in charge of my own group that I had an actual job. And I was so afraid that I wouldn't do it well, and I should have been because I have never done a good job despite wanting to.

I want to go back sometimes. To when I was younger, and my parents would still come and visit me at JYPE. To when my sister would ask me to lift her into the air after I matured, and when my youngest sister would do the same once she was born. But I can't.

Maybe I should have stayed with my family until I was old enough to not be so screwed in the head. I hope that they don't miss me for their sake. I still miss them with all of my being, but I haven't been able to contact them due to Jinyoung's orders. He promises that it's for my safety, but I don't care about my own safety anymore. And Jinyoung shouldn't after what he's done, but he insists he does.

I regret coming to JYPE, but I also don't. If I stayed home until I was of age, I wouldn't be struggling as much as I am now. I wouldn't know Jinyoung as well, but most importantly, I'd be with my family for a much longer time period than eight years. But I wouldn't have met the eight other young women I've found something in. Before I messed up, I saw happiness and hope in each one of their sad, broken eyes. I felt stronger around them. I felt invincible.

Invincibility was not a good thing. I became too brave when Jeongyeon attacked Jinyoung. I know that I should have allowed him to punish her, and to make her realize that he's much stronger than Jeongyeon will ever dream of being, but my heart screamed for me to help her. And Nayeon was thrown into the mix, and suddenly any logical thought that I had was pushed away to never surface again.

Home.

I am not stupid despite my actions. I know about Dahyun and Sana, and I see how Mina looks at Momo. I notice how selfless Chaeyoung is with Tzuyu, and how Tzuyu stares at Chaeyoung with these eyes that are filled with nothing but adoration and passion. I'm happy for them. And I can relate to them.

I know that Nayeon is absolutely too deeply in love with Jeongyeon. I know that Jeongyeon would give herself and more for Nayeon. Nayeon and Jeongyeon have a home within each other, just as I had hoped would happen. I love Jeongyeon. I love Nayeon. I love both of them so much that it physically hurts to know that I messed up with them. But if they're happy without me, then I won't mind. I'd rather the both of them be happy, I'd rather all of them be happy before me. I'd rather allow Jinyoung beat me until I'm covered in livid bruises and cuts, and until I'm so weak I can hardly breathe if it would allow them to be free. If it allowed them to smile, I wouldn't care.

I hate this part of JYPE. The cold, dark, scary part where the creepy paintings follow you. I hate the rattling, the squeaking, and the eerie dripping. I hate that the hallway is narrow, and that there's only a couple of employees down here.

Twenty-seven.

I breathe in, my heart already racing. It's the right thing to do, I think. I won't get anywhere if I don't get this over with. I press my forehead into the black door, exhaling heavily. Using one hand, I reach up and slide the window open. I notice Chaeyoung first. She looks at me, smiles slowly, but her eyes darken when she glances over at a girl I don't recognize at first. She's skinnier than I last remember, and guilt begins to eat at me again. Sana's face appears in front of the window suddenly, and I jump. She smiles, too, "You're here."

"I said I'd come eventually," I say, distracting myself so that I don't begin to chew on my lip. "Do you know how much longer you'll be here?"

"No," Sana's voice drops, and it hurts me with how upset she sounds, "Jinyoung hasn't said anything to us. And Chae has been here for a shorter amount of time than we have, so she may have longer. Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" There's so many reasons why I wouldn't be.

"I don't know. You look sad."

"Who isn't?" It's a rhetorical question. "Have the other girls been around to see you?"

"Dahyunnie. Momo, too. I want Mina to come, but um- Do you know about her?" The way her tone changes fills me with worry. I know that a girl from the new group Jinyoung bought gave her some foreign pills, but I had hoped that she wouldn't take them. Sana seems to read my mind, "she took them. And now she's sick, and I'm worried that they're tearing her into pieces. Momo hasn't been by in two weeks, so I don't have any updates. Have you seen her?"

"I haven't. If I go home, I'll let you know how she is." Home isn't JYPE anymore however.

"Promise?" I smile softly, entangling my pinkie finger with hers. She smiles, and then turns to look at Chaeyoung.

"You finally found some time to share Jihyo with me?" I think it may be a joke. Chaeyoung wouldn't intentionally be rude to Sana. Which, really, I don't understand why she would want to start something with Sana over me. I'm nothing. I hear rustling, and then a groggy voice, one that's so familiar that my heart clenches.

"Jihyo?" 

"I should leave," I begin, but Jeongyeon is quicker than I am. Sana and Chaeyoung step back to allow her to come closer, and her eyes are deader than I've ever seen them. They're completely lifeless, lacking any type of emotion, but they're wet, and cloudy, "get some rest."

"Why the hell are you here?" I stop myself from turning away from her.

"I wanted to see you three-"

"You wanted to see them. You couldn't care less about me." She sounds like she truly believes what she's saying, and it's slowly killing me. I take in her features the best I can through the dark, my eyes settling on a scratch across her cheek along with bruises that are painted onto her neck. I swallow.

"I care more than you think I do," I tell her, "you said that my apologies would be worthless to you, but you really believe that I hate you, don't you?" Her eyes narrow.

"I know."

"You don't know shit, Jeongyeon," I know that I should stay calm, but I can't help but allow my anger to speak for me. I don't want her thinking I intentionally hurt her. I can't have her thinking that. Jeongyeon seems taken back, "I know just about as much as you do right now though. I miss you. I miss all of you, but you're making my heart ache, Jeong. Nayeon misses you, too. She wants to get you out of there."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better? You're a liar. You're pathetic, and worthless, and I want fucking nothing to do with you. But you're always in my head, you've always been, and you won't leave, and I feel like I'm dying, Jihyo. It's all your fault. You've ruined everything." Suddenly I can't see Chaeyoung or Sana as I focus on Jeongyeon completely. I sigh deeply; what she's saying is true. I did ruin many things, and I am a liar. I'm pathetic, and worthless, and I don't deserve them. I don't deserve Nayeon and Jeongyeon.

"I know that," I wipe my eye before a tear can fall, "could you ever forgive me? If I left, I mean. Would that give you peace?"

"No. I hate you. I hate you so goddamn much that I love you. I love you, and I love your mistakes, but I hate liars. I've been lied to all of my life, Jihyo. When I came here, I knew what would happen. I knew the moment I saw you that you'd break me even more, and I hated you then. I told you I didn't though. So I'm a hypocrite," nothing can stop the heavy emotion that floods through my body, completely overwhelming me, "why did you do it?"

"Jinyoung," I admit after a long period of silence. Jeongyeon tenses, and I believe that her eyes darken. "It was for my safety." Or rather it was at first. I don't think he cares about my safety much at all now.

"But why didn't you tell us?" The way her voice breaks off as she shuts her eyes tightly only serves to worsen my guilt. "I gave myself to you."

"For your safety as well," I breathe. "If you knew about me, Jinyoung could have harmed you. But all of you know, and I can't apologize because an apology is worthless compared to how I feel. It's worthless compared to how deeply I regret it. I wish I could have told you myself, and I wish I didn't have to lie at all. He's not as perfect as I once believed."

"My safety?" Jeongyeon laughs. "My fucking safety. If he gave a shit about our apparent safety, then he wouldn't have taken us from our homes. I wouldn't be in a cell kept away from my little sister. I would be far away from you."

"You're contradicting yourself, darling," I say. Jeongyeon's eyebrows furrow.

"Stop doing that."

"Doing what?"

"Everything. Stop reading my mind, stop trying to be a good person, stop trying to seek my forgiveness. I can't give it to you, Jihyo. I can't. Do you know what the fuck I felt when you lied? When I finally figured out why you were so closed off?" I shake my head. I have an idea from both her previous words and what I know about her in general. Jeongyeon's nostrils flare, and her cheeks become flushed. I panic, but I'm able to use my mind well enough to concentrate on dissolving the door in my vision. It's only in my head, but I flinch when I notice her mark pulsing aggressively.

"You'll never know what the fuck I felt." I bite into my lip when she punches the door hard enough to surely hurt her. I almost say screw it and enter the room, but I know that it would be worse for the both of us. I finally remember the other two girls in the room as Sana pulls Jeongyeon into her arms. Chaeyoung stands by her side, a comforting hand rubbing her back. 

"I love you, Jeong." I cough, the sound radiating through the quiet hallway. Jeongyeon's eyes refocus on me as she pushes away from Sana. Tears are coating her cheeks and eyes as she pushes herself against the door.

"I hate you, Jihyo," she sobs, and I truly feel as if I'm being ripped apart. I did this to her. I ruined her, and I broke her down into pieces. I never fixed her, and I never will be able to. All I'm good for is bad. "I hate you so much," I attempt to soften my expression, more than a thousand apologies wanting to flee from my mind, "but I love you, and I want to die. I want you to leave, but I need you to stay, and it feels like all of the air is getting sucked from my lungs." My willpower has never been stronger as I smile softly at her before turning away from the door.

Home isn't the dorm either. It's a place in which I don't even live in anymore. I can't seem to stop the pity party going on in my head even when I'm in the car with Jackson. The man continuously asked if I'm alright, and if I need help, but it didn't make me feel any better. I love Jackson, I really do, but I just want Nayeon and Jeongyeon right now.

It's my first time being back at the dorm since the incident. It's quiet, just as it used to be, and at first, I believe no one is home until my eyes land on Momo. She looks tired to put it simply, the bags under her eyes oddly suiting her. It doesn't mean I like it though. I don't have as much time to speak with her no matter how badly I want to. I want to speak to all of them, and I want to explain, and help them. But time is a serious matter now, "Momo?"

"Jihyo," She replies. She looks up so quickly that I'm a bit afraid that she could have snapped her neck. "You are incredibly stupid."

"I know."

"You hurt Jeongyeon. And Sana, and Mina. You hurt all of us. I honestly hope you feel like shit, but I also want you to feel alright. I want all of us to find a way to be okay again. But not until Jeong forgives you. Welcome home, I guess." Momo finishes with a sigh, and I truly can't believe how bored she sounds. She sounds just as dead as Jeongyeon did the first few days here. Even more so now.

"I know, Momoring," I begin, "I'll try."

"Don't try. Do it." I nod, and with another (worthless) apology, I knock on the door to my old room. It takes exactly sixteen seconds before the door opens to reveal a tired, half-dressed Nayeon. She blinks slowly. On the last blink, her eyes widen suddenly, and she immediately presses herself into me, her arms tight around my waist.

"You're back," she mumbles into my shirt. I smile, resting my hand in her hair. It's a complete mess, so I make a silent promise in the back of my head to brush it later. "God, I missed you."

"I missed you too, Nayeonnie," 

"Did you see Jeongyeon?" She questions when we're settled into the room. My bed feels odd, and the room looks empty. I mess with the bracelet Nayeon gave me nervously. I exhale slowly with a nod, "is she okay? What about Sana? And Chaengie?"

"They're okay. They're not hurt," I continue when I remember Jeongyeon punching the door, "well, not too badly. But emotionally? They're hurting terribly. Do you think what I did was right, Nayeon?"

"What?"

"Lying. To protect all of us." She bites her lip.

"I think your intentions were right. But lying wasn't," she admits, and I can do nothing but agree. "I didn't like that you lied. And I still don't, but you've been nothing but kind to us. I don't believe you'd hurt us intentionally."

"Jeongyeon hates me,"

"She doesn't hate you. She just doesn't know you as well as she thought. She's confused, and so was I. Jeongyeon views you as the sun, love. The sun keeps us alive does it not?"

"Too much sun can be harmful." I point out. Nayeon exhales deeply, and it isn't hard to tell that I'm annoying her. I shut my mouth to avoid pressing her on. I'd rather not make the situation worse.

"You've made me open up thousands of times. I've poured my entire soul out to you so many times that it's hard to remember all of them. Do you know why?" I'm not completely stupid, so I have an idea. I decide to stay silent with a shake of my head. "I trust you. I trust you because you've given me absolutely no reason to not. Though you lied, you've made sure that I know all of the details, and you've made sure that Jinyoung wouldn't harm us. It isn't your fault that Jeong, Sana, and Chaeyoung are locked up right now. I promise you it isn't. But I'd like to ask one thing of you, and that thing is for you to trust me. I want you to pour yourself out to me like I've done to you so many times," I swallow thickly. I thought that I had trusted Nayeon completely, but her words are making me rethink so many things. I close my eyes, rummaging around in my mind for something, anything, to say. Nayeon smiles, gentle and loving, as she links our pinkies together. "I love you."

"I love you too," I reply, and the words seem more natural than a confession would be. Would it be a confession? I hope Nayeon knows that I've always appreciated her company. "But it isn't easy for me. I love Jeongyeon, too, and we're not stable right now. I want you to be safe. But Jeongyeon trusts you so much, Nayeon, so please talk to her. I need to know everything she's feeling. I want to hurt more than she is." Nayeon nods, pulling me into her chest. It's in awkward position considering I'm typically the one holding her. But I don't hate it. It's comforting, and for a minute, I feel like everything will be alright.

But I'm not foolish enough to believe myself.

I press the card into the slot. It beeps three times, and I pull it out as the doors slide open. Jinyoung is sitting in his chair, glasses slid down the bridge of his nose as he flips through paperwork. I clear my throat. Though I've talked with him only a few times since the incident, I still fear that he's angry with me. He promises he isn't, but something doesn't feel right. He looks up quickly, pushing his glasses up, "Good evening, Jihyo. Why are you here?"

"Why did you lock them up?" The reason for Jeongyeon is obvious enough.

"You know why," he simply states. I breathe in to calm myself; it seems as if my patience is running thinner these days. 

"No, sir, I don't. Jeongyeon attacked us, but if she truly wanted to harm us, she would have-"

"She harmed my building. And so did the other two. That's enough proof for me to know that they would harm each and every one of us if they wanted. My plan for them was so grand, Jihyo. I wanted them to be the brighter future for Zodiacs. I wanted the newer generations to look up to them, to the billboards around the city. Project Twice was supposed to be so much more, and yet, they've ruined it. How can we clean Zodiacs' image when those eight don't want to be clean?"

"They want it more than you think," I mumble. Jinyoung's eyebrow quirks up, and I shiver.

"What was that?"

"They want it more than you think," I speak up, avoiding his gaze. "They want to be happy, but they're not free. Give them another chance. They're my responsibility, right?" I can only hope that my reasoning is good enough to influence his decision.

"If they were your responsibility, you would have prevented all of this from happening."

"They're human, Jinyoung, it was only natural for them to experience feelings. They were afraid, and they were lied to." I tell him, anger rising throughout my body.

"Human?" He laughs loudly. "No, no. They're Zodiacs. We are far from human, my dear. We could destroy humans if we wanted, but somehow we're at the bottom of the damn hierarchy. But if you want to try and make them human, be my guest. It will never happen however."

"Just release them. Please." I grit my teeth. Jinyoung leans back as he takes his glasses off.

"Alright. Have it your way. I'm timing you," his words turn icy, "if you can't control them, I'll do something about it. Project Twice will no longer be positive."


	28. crumble

KIM DAHYUN'S P.O.V.  
****  
"What do you think the sun feels like?" Mina asks, interrupting the eerie silence. I hum softly, my eyes still closed. Mina's hand feels soft in mine as I reply.

"You've touched Sana before." She laughs.

"Apparently Jihyo came back to the dorm yesterday," Mina tells me after her laughter dies down. I open my eyes slowly, focusing on the side of her face. She resembles a Greek goddess, one I shouldn't try and touch. She may crumble apart, I believe. Or it could be the opposite. Definitely the opposite. "Nayeon told me that she was trying to get them out." I don't have to ask to know who she's talking about. Relief fills my chest as Sana comes to mind. She's the first, followed by the other two. I smile.

"Do you think she's trying to fix things?"

"I think she's trying to prove to us that she deserves our forgiveness. I'm not afraid to give it to her, but it hurt. Jihyo has always been hard to read, so I believe that's one of the reasons I could relate to her. She didn't fear me when I matured, too, so I genuinely believe she is a good person. Even if she lied, she's trying to mend things with us. Do you have faith in her?" Mina turns her head, and I nearly lose myself in her eyes. Falling for Mina was never my intention, but practicing with her for so long had made my brain into complete mush. I am selfish to put it simply.

"I have faith in God," I say. Mina's eyebrows furrow. "Jihyo is an angel sent down to Earth I believe, so I have faith in her as well."

"You're confident in that belief."

"Of course I am," I breathe in the air around me slowly, admiring the stretch I feel in my lungs, "my parents told me that God would send me one. And Jihyo is... I don't know. She's sure not a demon contrary to Jeongyeon's belief."

"Jeongyeon doesn't hate Jihyo." Mina mentions. I bring my lips between my teeth. I won't argue because it isn't my place. It's Jeongyeon and Jihyo's battle, not mine. And I'd definitely rather not pick sides. 

Mina is deep. Deeper than I had originally thought she'd be. Her mind is vivid with imagination and scenarios that I've never even once thought of. It's dark though. It's a messy storm, one that threatens to brew over and cause a complete disaster of anything and anyone around her. Mina is someone I'm not afraid to trust.

I love Sana. I love her as much as I possibly can, and then some more. Being in love is an understatement when it comes to how I believe I feel about her. When I first arrived at JYPE, I was skeptical, of course. Who wouldn't be? But I was okay with her at first. After I began to build walls around myself, I thought it would help prevent anyone from getting close to me. That didn't stop much however.

I was closest to the two youngest, having shared a room with them. And I was used to Momo for some reason I can't understand. She was comforting, and she still is, but most of it is focused on Mina now. I'm not angry at all though. Mina needs it more than I do.

Sana pushed. She pushed enough to where I would leave my comfort zone, but never too much. I admire her the most. Sana is someone I can't describe to an ordinary person. I would only simply be able to compare her to the sun because she's made my life so much brighter than I ever thought it could be.

I'm confused when it comes to Momo. She's unique, and she's strong, and she's always there when I need her. I've cried countless of times in her arms, and I can't count how many times I've just talked to her to settle my nerves. I still feel nervous about a lot of things, but when I think about Momo, it's not so bad.

I'm not sure how our dynamic will work, or if I even truly want it to, but if it would make them happy, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

"I'm going to go see the sun." I tell Mina. She brushes my cheek with her fingers, a glint in her eye. It fades away as quickly as it comes, and I almost frown.

"Tell her I said hi."

I want Mina to come with me. I want all three of us, all four of us, to sit down and talk, but that's hard when one of you is locked away. But I won't force her. 

Jackson trusts me, I think, because he simply allows me to go without any security this time. I feel more comfortable without a woman or man staring me down constantly when I try to talk to my girlfriend. I smile despite my twisting stomach. The term feels nice to say and think about despite seemingly being temporary. Marrying Sana wouldn't be terrible. No, it would be absolutely lovely. But it hasn't been long since we confessed, and I shouldn't be thinking of marrying her.

I knock on the heavy door before sliding the window open. It takes a few seconds before my eyes adjust to the dark room of her cell. She turns to me as she finishes sliding down her shirt, a small smile in place on her lips. I adore the way her eyes soften despite her hidden emotions. They're easy to see with how she carries herself towards me, "Dahyunnie." 

"Sana," I respond, taking in her features. I want to reach out and touch her face, but I can't, and it's slowly driving me mad. I miss her in more ways than one, "hi."

"Hi," she laughs, and oh, how delightful it sounds. I nearly have to shut my eyes to calm my pounding heart from the sight of her wide smile.

"God, I miss you."

"I'm right here, love,"

"I know," I swallow, resting my hand against the door. It's times like this that I wish I actually had superpowers. Ones that would be useful rather than causing harm. The thought of harm causes Mina to reappear in my mind. "Mina says hi."

"Aw, she couldn't come?"

"She didn't want to." I wasn't great at lying, and Sana knows her enough to not be upset. The older girl brings her bottom lip between her teeth.

"Is she still taking the pills?" 

"I don't know," I frown when Sana's happiness drops, "Momo is watching her really closely though. They miss you a lot. Do you know when you'll be out?" 

"Whenever he thinks it's fit," she replies, rolling her eyes, "Dahyun?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think it was my fault that Mina took them?" My eyes widen as I shake my head rapidly.

"Not at all! Mina's a big girl. She took them because she wanted to-"

"She may be a big girl to you, Dahyun, but she's still my baby. I grew up with her, so I care about her immensely. Everything she does, I will take responsibility for even if I shouldn't. She's smart, but sometimes she's more broken than she is smart." Her caring nature is absolutely endearing, and the thought of marrying her reappears in my mind. I become angry with myself too quickly as I brush the thought away.

"Is that why you're beating yourself up?"

"Oh, darling, there's so many reasons why I'm doing that," her voice drops, but her smile doesn't fade.

"Can I hear them?"

"You're too curious," she says, and I shrug. Curiosity has always gotten the best of me. "First is you. You trust me, but I messed up, didn't I? You were terrified after I tried to kill Jennie. And sometimes I still swear that you are because you flinch if I get too close through this stupid, small window. But that wasn't me, and I can't control it. I don't want to hurt anyone, but I have emotions, and those fucking hurt me."

I prevent myself from completely interrupting her no matter how much I want to comfort her, "Two?"

"Two is the fact that I couldn't protect Jeongyeon. I couldn't do anything to help her when she needed it because I was too selfish, and I only thought about myself. I had to cry, and break her down some more before I felt alright."

"Three."

"Momo. God, Momo. You can see it in her eyes that she's hurting. I'm not stupid, Dahyun, she loves you. She loves you a lot, but I'm selfish. That's what I'm trying to get through your head: I'm selfish, and definitely don't deserve you. One day I'll find another reason to abandon you whether it be for your safety or for my own, but I don't want that."

"It doesn't have to happen," I remind her softly. She smiles sadly.

"It will though. You'll think I'm terrible, that I'm messed up, and I hope you hate me. I hope you don't remember me when it does. I hope I'm left alone with all of these negative thoughts while you're with Momo because I know you love her, too."

"I love you-"

"Maybe," she interrupts, "maybe you do. But Momo won't leave you like I will."

"Why will you leave?"

Sana scoffs, "I told you."

"That reason wasn't correct. Try again please."

"Of course it was correct."

"Sana. I love you." I repeat, reveling in the vulnerability in her eyes. I can see her slowly breaking down her walls.

"There's these voices that talk to me sometimes. And that's fucking terrifying because it's all in my head, but I'm so convinced that I'm this terrible person that everyone is supposed to hate. But before all of this, I only tried to think of positive things. I tried not to dwell on the bad things, but it isn't working anymore. You need someone who functions correctly, who won't hurt you if they feel a little bit too much. Please, Dahyunnie-"

I don't know what I'm doing as I press myself further into the door, a strange sensation flooding throughout my body. I shiver, shutting my eyes tightly. There's a wave of freezing air followed by hotter air, and before I know it, I'm in front of Sana. I reach out to make sure I'm not going insane. My fingers press against warm skin, and I nearly sob from how much I've missed the feeling of Sana, "I love you. I love you, I love you. I'm not afraid of you, I promise. You'll be okay. We'll be okay." I breathe her scent in as her arms tighten around my body, pulling me closer. Her cheeks are wet against my skin, but I don't care at all.

"I don't deserve you," she mumbles, and I nearly roll my eyes.

"You deserve the world and more. I'd bring you the moon if you asked."

"Why the moon?"

"I'm already touching the sun."

Thursday.

It's Thursday, and it's too early, and I already miss Sana so much that I think my body could be mistaking it as physical pain. I try not to focus on her too much as I wrap my arms around myself in the cold building. It shouldn't be this cold. I huff as Somi enters the room before wrapping a blanket of warm air around myself, "Good morning."

"It's not even seven," I groan.

Somi laughs, "I know. That doesn't mean it can't be good."

"Somi, I could literally still be in my bed right now. So I think it's safe to say that there's no reason I should be up right now which means it is absolutely terrible. And I haven't been able to see Chae, Jeong, or-"

"Sana. I know. But between you and me, Jihyo and I are trying our best to get them out. She's already mentioned it to him, but as far as I know, he's only confirmed that they will be out soon. Soon can translate to two weeks with him though." I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. The news is reassuring and upsetting at the same time. All I know is that she won't be in there forever, and that Somi is on our side. I smile.

"Thank you."

"You're thanking me?" I nod. "Why?" I don't get to reply because the doors are opened once again. Jinyoung adjusts his tie with a smile that does absolutely nothing to soothe me at all. Somi tenses visibly, so I reach out and squeeze her arm, a silent exchange flowing between us. 

"I'm glad you came, Dahyun," he begins, voice dripping with a warning. I'm not sure what he's trying to warn me about, but I know that he's capable of many things. So I keep my mouth shut before he finishes, "it's been a long time. Have you used your abilities since the last time we met?"

"Sometimes," I tell him. I don't want to tell him about how I managed to pass through a door for so many reasons, Sana's safety being the absolute first, "I still practice with Mina."

"How is she?"

"Okay." If you count sick okay. She told me that she tried to stop taking them, but it made her feel sick, and she kept scorching her sheets. I felt terrible, and I want to help her so badly, but I can't. And it's killing Momo just as badly.

"I should schedule an appointment," he mumbles, and I nearly panic because she isn't ready.

"No!" He turns back to me, one eyebrow raised. Somi knows about Mina. She knows about many things going on because she's close to Chaeyoung. She understands Chaeyoung's mind almost as well as Tzuyu does, and luckily, she believes the same as we do. She grew up around Jinyoung much like Jihyo did. She knows his true side. "Just focus on me. I'm not good yet. I, like, fell and hurt my wrist really bad last week because I lost control." It's a complete lie, and a terrible one at that.

"Did you?" Jinyoung hums. I nod as I try not to focus on biting my lip. Sana told me that when I try to lie, I do that. She's too observant. "Okay. We'll begin now."

It's a strange feeling to have someone tell you what to do. I should be used to it by now, but I'm not, and I still find it hard when he wants me to do something I don't know how to do. He's an air sign however, so I think I lucked out with that factor. With Jinyoung in general? I wish I could do better. I don't like what he's done to us. I hate it.

"You've improved a lot," he says. I feel happy from the praise, but it's coming from Jinyoung, and I know he isn't good. I know that he's terrible, and that his wish is to only tear us apart. I am not as naive as so many of his staff think. "It's no secret that I am also an air sign. Jihyo, too," the mention makes me upset though I try to hide it, "and you are, too. One major ability that air signs possess would be teleportation. You cannot travel to another country or city, of course not, but you have the ability to pass through rooms, and buildings. I want you to try that."

I don't open my mouth to tell him that I think I've already done it. He dismisses Somi with a wave. Jackson takes her place, eyeing me carefully. I don't think his intentions are bad. And if they are, well, they're sure not as bad as Jinyoung's. He seems like a good man.

"Do you see that wall?" I nod. The wall is really just a window, but it's no doubt that it's another room. It makes me wonder how I've never noticed it before. "Pass through it. The easiest way to do this is not to try and teleport from where you are. I want you to press yourself against it, and relax. Breathe in and out very slowly. Imagine you're trying to make yourself fall asleep." I'm confused as to why he's being so casual about it, like so much didn't happen these past weeks. Sometimes I think he's truly and absolutely insane.

I do as I'm told to avoid getting yelled at. The wall is cold, and I'm not sure how to do it with his directions. My breathing is as slow as possible, but I don't feel myself melting into the wall just yet. I groan in frustration, my patience thinner than it has ever been. I think of Sana, and how maybe if I'm good enough for Jinyoung, he'll allow her out faster. He'll consider Somi's request, and also Jihyo's. I could act like Jihyo is teaching us to be better. I know she'll try. The familiar yet odd sensation of freezing air followed by hot air comes once again, and I don't know whether to wrap myself up with my arms or try and blanket cold air around my body. I feel dizzy, and kind of sick when I open my eyes. Jinyoung is standing with slightly widened eyes, "You look like you've done it before." His voice is muffled, but I can still hear him.

"I, um, have," I swallow. Jinyoung shakes it head.

"Obviously. You should have told me. Today's training was useless, was it not?"

"No! Jihyo has taught me-"

"More lies. The girl mostly resides in the room I gave her. And she's lucky I gave her that after the stunt she pulled. News has gotten out, Dahyun, and I've lost a lot of money and support."

I scoff, passing back through the wall as anger rises in my chest, "Seriously? Is that all you care about? Money?"

"I care about my employees-"

"You're such a liar," I don't recognize my voice, and it's scary to me. But thinking about the fact that he couldn't care less about us, and Jihyo, and Somi- It's infuriating. 

"Jihyo is one as-" Jackson wraps his arms around me, holding me tight as my mark pulses violently. I don't struggle against his hold, too focused on keeping my emotions in check. It's harder than it should be.

"Get her name out of your mouth!"

"Dahyun, please, calm down. You'll only harm yourself." He stays so calm, and that does absolutely nothing but make me angrier. I breathe in and think of Sana, and Momo, and Mina, but it isn't working, and I'm so frustrated that my heart is pounding and my breath is uneven.

"You don't care, so why should I?" I laugh, my eyes clouding up slightly. I blink away the tears that threaten to fall, and I don't even know why the hell I'm crying. "Let Sana go. And let Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung go, and don't bother us."

"It's already in my plans, dear-"

"Bullshit." I could totally throw Jackson away from me, but I don't want to make Jinyoung angry. I breathe in shakily, "if you were going to, they would already be out." He sighs heavily.

"I'll talk to Jihyo tonight." It's not a promise.


	29. forgive

YOO JEONGYEON'S P.O.V.  
****  
Sometimes I wonder how the world can be so cruel, and yet, it's beautiful. Because in simplicity, life is still around us despite humans' desperate attempts at killing it off. It shows how strong inanimate objects can be as well as nature in general. We tear down trees, they grow back. We try and kill off an animal, it does its very best to continue to thrive. But if we try and kill ourselves, it's impossible to hang on to that thin thread that is trying to hold us up. So we let go, and we allow ourselves to be carried wherever our plan decides to take us.

Truth be told, I do believe everyone is on Earth for a reason, whether it be important or minor. It's just a matter of discovering what your reason is. I don't consider myself particularly religious because I'm only a person. If there's a man named God, and he is as powerful and beautiful as Dahyun describes, then I won't try and run off his course of plans. If someday I feel like he's truly there, I'll follow him like Mina does. But if he isn't, and his life all happens to be some made up story, I won't be angry.

You can't try and discover your reason for being on Earth if you're trapped in a small, dark room however. I didn't think any place could be worse than that dorm, but I've never been good at foreseeing things. It was bearable when I was with Chaeyoung and Sana, but Jinyoung had separated us for the stupidest reason. First of all, I can't even use my damn abilities, so how can I try and get out? And the only time Sana ever used hers was when Jisoo and Rosé attacked us. And she was attacked first, so surely it was reasonable. Jinyoung didn't believe a word I said though.

That man... He pisses me off to no end. He causes an insufferable heat from the anger I feel when I see him, when someone mentions his name. If he wasn't a thing, I'd still be back in Kyoto. I'd be pushed around, but I'd be happier. I wouldn't have met Dahyun, Chaeyoung, Tzuyu, or Nayeon and Jihyo. My heart clenches at the thought.

When you're alone in a cell, you think more often because there's nothing else to do. And my thoughts have led me to believe that Jihyo lying could have been my fault. It's improbable though because she wouldn't lie because of me. If anything, it was more for everyone else's safety. But mine? God, it can go to hell.

The only thing I know is that Jinyoung made her lie for safety reasons. But wasn't he smart enough to know that in the end it would only cause more harm? Of course he wasn't. Jinyoung may have had ambiguous plans when he first started taking in Zodiacs, but now it's complete and utter bullshit. He's ruined it himself. Jihyo couldn't have ruined his reputation more than he already has. But the world continues to give him money. They continue to support him because they believe so strongly that he's a good man, one who will build Zodiacs up. But the only thing he's done is tear us down. 

A single dripping sound, followed by footsteps. I hear doors slide open, loud and obnoxious, before Jinyoung's voice rings through the hall, "Jackson, I want you to take them to the dorm. Schedule a session with both of them by Saturday." I hear Jackson agree, and Sana's voice asking if they're really leaving. A bit of hope fills my chest when I completely realize what's going on. He doesn't come near my cell however, and that hope begins to die out. It makes sense that he'd keep me longer though. I've always been more hazardous.

An abrupt sliding of the window makes me jump. I'm not sure how long it had been, but surely it wasn't too long. Jinyoung smiles and it makes me feel uneasy. I hear buttons and keys, and then the door opens. He sighs deeply, and I assume he believes I'll fight. Really though, I just want to see Momo, Mina, and Nayeon, so I won't fight him this time. I shrug and turn my back, holding my wrists out to him. I don't see his face, but his touch is gentler as he adjusts the handcuffs around my wrists. They aren't as tight as they used to be.

"I thought you'd fight me," he says, and it's the third time I've ever heard him speak so softly.

"I want to," I admit, "but I want to see them." I'm sure he knows who I mean.

"That's the best choice you've made since you arrived, Yoo Jeongyeon."

JYPE has never felt so warm as he shuts the door to the apparent jail he had built. The room is much brighter, and much livelier, and it kind of hurts my eyes because I've adjusted to the darkness. It's too loud, with men and women shuffling along the floor with papers, and boxes, and-

I bite my lip harshly. My mind enjoys tricking me, I suppose, because I swear that one woman in a black button-down shirt is Jihyo. And I hate the feeling that lights my body up. It's nothing bad, but it's nothing good. I hate to admit that I miss Jihyo despite being so angry with her. If I was in her place, I think I'd do the same. It may be time for me to be more logical rather than emotional.

"Where's Sana and Chaeyoung?" I ask, confusion making my mind a cloudy mess. He nudges me into the training room, and I recoil as the white walls only become brighter. I want to go to the dorm, not here.

"The dorm. Call me biased, but I believe you are much more dangerous than Sana and Chaeyoung can be. Chaeyoung threatened me, and she's very capable, and Sana has somehow extended her knowledge to be able to control something out of her element. But Sana knows what she's doing, and she doesn't want to. You allow your emotions to control you, and that always ends up ruining things, doesn't it?" I can't even argue because it's true. I nod, keeping my eyes locked to the ground.

"I get it. Please take the handcuffs off."

"I'll have to," he chuckles. "I'm surprised at how calm you've become."

"Look, all I want to do is go home." I bite back a smart remark that I could have added. I want to go back to Kyoto.

"I'm glad you've accepted JYPE as your home." I haven't.

He has me playing around with force in a transparent room, a variety of forceful waves, and mellow ones. I wonder why he never teaches us important things, but I'll keep my mouth shut. That is until the door opens, and a wave of cool air rushes in. I furrow my eyebrows, my mind completely going blank as I stare her up and down, "What's she doing here?"

"You obviously have built a connection with her, haven't you?" Jinyoung begins. I scoff, but he sees through me. I hate that I've become so weak. I hate everything so much. "And that's why you lose your temper easily when it comes to her."

"I lose my temper quickly anyway-"

"But with Nayeon, Momo, and Jihyo, you lose it the quickest. Why?"

"None of your business," Jihyo's eyes soften, and I know that she's doing that thing she always does where she tries to read you better, and it's making me fucking sick. I can't stand her. I breathe in. "Can we get this over with? I just wanna leave."

"Jihyo, I want you to come up behind Jeongyeon. Ease her into the hold of the water." I shut my eyes tight to keep my emotions at bay as she does as she's told. She whispers an apology into my ear, and I nearly brush it off. Her hands come in contact with my elbow, and I jump when cool air seemingly seeps into my skin and into my bloodstream. 

"Breathe," she mumbles, curling her fingers around the skin there. I close my eyes once more, allowing her to guide me into the flow of water beneath my feet. It's different than automatically forming a pool of it myself, it feels better in a way. But at the same time, I don't like it. It only reminds me of how Jihyo lied, and how she's just like me, and that she fucking understands, and god, it hurts. I step forward, the water dissolving into thin air. I shake my head, the words bubbling over, "don't touch me."

"Please try again," Jinyoung interrupts, "I'm not sure what happened there, but I'm going to have to ask you to relax against her. Remember, this is a test to your emotions." 

I smile, but it sure as hell isn't happy, "I mean, congratulations. They work I guess. Please take me to the dorm, I can't-"

"You need to try." Jinyoung touches my wrist surprisingly softly, but I jerk away.

"No, really, Jinyoung, I can't, you're- Fuck, please," the room is seemingly spinning, and I can't breathe nearly as well, "the dorm."

"And what the hell are you going to do when I release you from JYPE? You can't keep running away from yourself, Jeongyeon." I hear his voice raise as I feel an arm around me, but I feel too weak to fight it away. I blink slowly, the dizziness intensifying.

"Stop yelling, you're making it worse." Jihyo's voice rings throughout my ears, and it doesn't help at all because she's already always in my head, never giving me a break. I need one so badly.

"Jackson is back. He'll take you to the dorm. I want to see her again, Jihyo."

"If I'm with her, you can."

I lock myself away in the bedroom I haven't slept in since... It's been a while. I can't even remember when the last time I slept in it was. The room smells much like Momo, warm, soft, and a bit childish. But there's the faint scent of vanilla. There's a yellow rose in a small vase by the bed, one that resembles Dahyun. It's accompanied by a red one, no doubt Mina. They must have been taking good care of each other.

I want to sleep, I really do, but my mind won't stop racing. I don't think it's ever stopped since the very first second my eyes came in contact with Jinyoung's men. It's so much worse than it once was however.

And I want to talk to Jihyo. But I don't think I can stay calm long enough to talk to her. She hurt so many of us even though it wasn't technically her fault. But she didn't have to keep lying. She could have told us, and I- 

I probably wouldn't have kept it a secret back then.

I still wonder why Nayeon was the first to know. I know that those two have something in one another, but I thought that I was apart of it as well. Call it selfish and wishful thinking. If they don't want me though, I won't mind. Their happiness is what I need out of life. That includes Jihyo telling Nayeon everything and leaving me wondering.

Momo, Dahyun, and Mina apparently left with Sana as soon as she showed up at the dorm. I'm not sure why, but it isn't my business anyway. And I heard from Chaeyoung that Tzuyu's parents are staying at an unoccupied dorm that Jackson had found, and that she's with them. I feel happy for the kid. It may not last long though because I know how Jinyoung is, and I highly doubt he knows that they're here. Seeing as it was so quiet in the dorm (it's never any different), I suppose Chaeyoung went to visit her, and explain things. It'd be dumb on her part, but I'd do the same. Nayeon is somewhere in the dorm, I know, but only because I heard Jihyo talking to her earlier.

I inhale a shaky breath as I turn the doorknob, my socks slippery against the floor. I hear hushed whispers as I travel down the hallway and into the main room surely belonging to Nayeon and Jihyo. I gather up what little courage I can before clearing my throat cautiously.  Their heads turn at the same time, but Nayeon is the first off of the chair. Her arms wrap around me so tight I can hardly breathe, but I don't care at all. I smile, my heart warming as I breathe her scent in, "You idiot, I missed you so much."

"I missed you too, darling," I kiss the top of her head so naturally that it eases my nerves just that slight bit. Her body is warm against mine, and it's then that I notice she's wearing one of my favourite shirts, and fuck, I love her a lot. Nayeon's hands move to clutch at the front of my shirt as I feel her lips against mine. My mind seemingly stops functioning before I remind myself that I should definitely kiss her back, and she tastes so much different than Jihyo, but it isn't bad. They're both good. They're both too good. Jihyo tastes of something more raw and daring, whereas Nayeon is sweet and subtle. A faint thought of combining them lingers in my head before I shake it away. I'm supposed to be here to talk to Jihyo. Not think about kissing her. I need to understand her side of the story. Nayeon catches on, pulling away with a sincere look in her eye, "can you talk now?" I nod, nothing but affection swelling inside of me. She cares a lot, and she isn't supposed to.

It's different. It's so much different when I'm sitting in front of Jihyo and she's looking at me like she regrets absolutely everything and nothing all at once. It's different compared to when I'm just thinking about confronting her. I remember myself being so bold and outright, demanding answers from her. But I've never been the type to demand things from Jihyo. She's always been the one to demand from me, and I learn that way. It's something I've needed since my parents wanted to give me away.

"Demand from me, Jeong." And Jihyo has always been able to read me. I stumble over the words caught in my throat, and now I wish that I could be angry again. I want to go back to being a bitch to her, to making her feel like shit. I want to have that power again.

"I just want to know exactly why," I stutter, avoiding her gaze. Nayeon is no help either. Two fingers curl around my chin, directing my eyes to focus on Jihyo's own pair. I swallow thickly when Nayeon whispers, "let her read you, love."

"I can't tell you it all, Jeongyeon, you know that. But I want to. And when this is all over, I will tell you. The only thing I can hope you'll understand is that since I was a little girl, since I was Park Jisoo, Jinyoung has made me lie. And I grew up with him. His reasoning is his own, and I will never be able to read him like I read you or any of the other girls. Jinyoung is a force to be reckoned with."

"Will you be able to one day?" I ask. Jihyo's eyes darken.

"If it means you'll forgive me and it'll keep all of us safe, I will. Especially you two. I would do anything for you and Nayeon." 

"I told you that I couldn't forgive you," I begin. Jihyo allows me to continue, "and I meant what I said. I grew up around liars. And you'll only lie again."

"Jeong, I'm really trying. The guilt I feel keeps me up at night. I can't forgive myself. I know what I did to you, I know what I did to all of us. I know what I've ruined, and I know what I can try and mend. I won't lie and say I don't want us to be all smiles again because I do, but that won't happen. Not while we're here. The only thing I can ask is for you to allow me back in. I'll keep you away from Jinyoung regardless."

"I can't, Jihyo, what the fuck can't you understand from that?" And the anger that I once wanted so terribly to come back rises in my chest too quick for me to breathe. I choke on it, and swear. I wanted it before, but now I just want to be logical. I want to stop fighting myself, and contradicting myself.

"What do you want then?"

"I want you to be sincere." I ignore my cheeks that are gradually becoming more wet by the second, and I ignore the way my eyes burn and cloud up. I hate emotions. I hate too goddamn much, and I need to stop. Nayeon releases her hold on my chin as I clench my fists tighter, my knuckles turning white. My mark is pulsing, and it hurts because it's intense, and I just want to be happy again.

Jihyo reaches forward, and I don't want to, but I can't help the rush of water that bursts from my fingers, her body colliding back against the wall. It's foreign but familiar, and I try to calm myself before I harm anyone else more, but my anger is taking over as it used to do. I don't feel myself move, but I find myself in front of Jihyo, holding her against the cracked wall with such force that my hands hurt. I feel the power that I used to have, and I feel at ease. Jihyo apologizes once, and I'm confused before air restricts my arms behind me. It's a tight hold, and I'm losing control, and I don't like it. I don't fucking like it, but I can't move, and- 

Her hand grazes my cheek softly, her eyes trailing over my face. I struggle against the hold, but it becomes tighter when Jihyo curls her fingers, "This isn't helping your point." I grit out.

"You wanted me to be sincere," her voice is low enough to be a whisper, "but I can't be sincere when you're throwing me around. Let me talk to you like this please. And I'll let you go."

"Let me go now!"

"Listen to her, Jeong." Nayeon's voice interrupts me, and I bite down onto my lip for the second time today. The taste of blood makes me nauseous as I compel myself to listen to Jihyo.

"I'll keep it simple for you because I know how much you hate losing control," the grip loosens, and I try to curl my own fingers. Nothing happens, and I nearly groan. "Being sincere is easy when it comes to you. I love you dearly. I want to protect you, I want to keep you from harm. The one causing you the most harm right now is me, and if you truly need me to stay away, I will. Say the word 'red' and I will leave. I swear to you. But right now, you'll get my sincerity. You know that I've thought about marrying you? It's a bit insane because it hasn't been long at all since we've met. But marriage to me is special because it means giving yourself over to the person you love completely. And I want to do that for you. And for Nayeon, too. I've already discussed this with her. I want to marry you both, and I want to leave JYPE. I want to make you two smile again, and I want us to never think of JYPE again because the only thing it's done is break us. But without JYPE, I wouldn't have met you two. The moon is nothing without the sun, and I believe it's the exact same way the other way around. The stars make both the moon and sun stronger. You are my moon, my dear, and Nayeon is our stars."

It stays silent for a long moment, emotion completely overwhelming me, and for once, I don't hate it. I blink away the remaining tears that gathered in my eyes before speaking softly, "Please let me go." The grip immediately loosens, and I find that I can move my hands once more. But I don't think about harming Jihyo or Nayeon. This time I use them to pull the both of them against me, mumbling to Jihyo, "we'll use yellow right now. Prove to me that what you said is true."

"Promise."


	30. complication

HIRAI MOMO'S P.O.V.  
****  
A state of mind in which one is suffocating from both complication and ease. The complication is much stronger than the ease, having to mindlessly swim through the thick water of feelings that continue to tear down all of the levees you try and build. The ease is the one thing keeping you afloat, doing its all to keep you away from the complication. 

Simple and easy, the complication is Dahyun and Mina, and Sana is the one trying to keep my head above their heavy water. It threatens me, but it isn't their fault. I'm indecisive, and loving two people at once shouldn't be something I'm worrying about. I should be focusing more on Jihyo, the group Jinyoung bought, and Jinyoung himself. But I can't.

The moment Jackson opened the door to reveal Chaeyoung and Sana, I wrapped them both in a hug so tight I felt my own lungs crushing. But I didn't care because seeing them made me feel like things weren't going to stay so terrible. I was worried that Jeongyeon hadn't returned, of course I was, but I knew that Jinyoung wouldn't be dumb enough to keep her in the cell for longer than the others. She would have found a way out.

Sana knows many things. I know that she knows about Dahyun and me, and how I view her. I know that Sana knows that we're all fucked in the head. Dahyun and Mina are the same. Naive, but knowing. I've known both Mina and Sana since I was still in Kyoto, but I feel as if Dahyun is just as close to me as they are. Mina was my best friend, and Sana too, so I wonder why I ended up falling for Mina rather than Sana. I don't find the idea completely repulsing.

Mina brings me into reality when Dahyun pulls me up into a dream. Dahyun makes me feel my age. She makes me feel like I'm always the one to protect her, and I enjoy that feeling. I'm not very used to it. Mina makes me feel younger in a way because she doesn't just allow me to take care of her. She forces me back into my vulnerable corner when I need it, and she makes me believe I don't have to be alone. They balance me out, I think, and choosing seems impossible yet easy.

Sana is absolutely in love with Dahyun, and I believe that it's been like that since she first laid eyes on the younger girl. I've never seen Sana look at someone like that except for when she met Mina back years ago. Sometimes Sana still looks at Mina like that, and I wonder how we both could be so unlucky to fall for two girls. I've never seen a relationship with more than two people up until I noticed how deep Jeongyeon, Nayeon, and Jihyo fell. Until I noticed how completely broken Jeongyeon and Nayeon became when Jihyo lied.

The situation forced me to grow up a little more, and to stop being so hostile and fearful of JYPE. When it comes to Jinyoung, I'm both angry but terrified. He is capable of so many things, and I feel like if I do something wrong, he'll do something to me that I won't be able to stop, whether it be death or punishment.

"When was the last time?" I ask, keeping my voice low as I pull Mina's bottom lip down with my thumb. I glance up to her eyes, admiring the way they're positively glowing. I release her lip, moving my hand down to wrap around her neck, squeezing once.

Her breath hitches, "few days." I almost scoff before I press my lips against her jaw. I dip down to her pulse point, running my teeth over the sensitive skin there. 

"How do you feel?"

"Right now? Great," she answers. I revel in the way she rasps when I shift above her, grasping her wrists in my left hand just that slight bit harder. I kiss the spot that my teeth graze, inviting the skin into my mouth before sucking just enough to leave a mark, "Dahyun-"

"Will be here with Sana in a minute, I know," I chuckle, finally moving away from her burning skin, "you wouldn't be mad if I left a mark, would you?"

"Yes, I'd be-"

"My apologies." Mina huffs, shoving my shoulder. Very reluctantly, I settle beside Mina rather than on top of her, biting my lip to keep from smiling when her hand immediately flies to her neck.

"You're insufferable." She whines, and I laugh, loud and clear. When I fall quiet, I can't help but stare at her. I know what I'm doing, and I'm aware that Mina is becoming shyer by the way her cheeks are slowly turning more pink, and she's avoiding my gaze. She's completely captivating to me, and I still wonder how there's a walking goddess on Earth with me. I've always thought that, but I've also always decided it was better to keep my mouth shut.

Mina jumps when the door flies open to reveal Dahyun with Sana close on her heels. Sana shakes her head, but there's a smile in place on her lips with lets me know she enjoys Dahyun's strange antics. I do, too.

"We're late, aren't we?" Dahyun asks, settling down in front of me. I don't miss the exchange between her and Mina, or the way Sana notices it, too. 

"There wasn't any set time," I reply, staring up at Sana instead of looking at Dahyun. "You missed Sana that much, did you?" The poor girl seems to catch onto the hidden innuendo because her cheeks brighten into a crimson red almost instantly. She stutters over her words, mixing up disagreement and panic as Mina shoves my shoulder even harder than the last time. Sana's hand comes to rest on Dahyun's shoulder, a smile comforting her. I adore the way Dahyun visibly softens under Sana's reassurance. They're good for each other.

"Jesus, Momoring, are you trying to kill her?" Sana laughs.

"She's annoying, isn't she?" Mina groans, burying her face in her hands. I feel happy around them. I feel happy with teasing Dahyun and Mina, and having them both turn into complete, blushing messes while Sana scolds me. I enjoy Sana joining in soon after, and her reassuring them that I don't mean any of it when I really do. I enjoy Sana's flexibility with us, and her ability to switch personalities depending on who she's talking to. I like Dahyun's stupid antics, and I like Mina's smile, and her constellation of moles. I like all of them quite a bit.

"I've missed having all of us together," I tell them after everyone calms down. Though Dahyun wasn't previously involved in the mix months ago, I still feel like she belongs perfectly. Sana nods, her eyes bright and lively. It's such a contrast when compared to her dull, dead eyes in the cell. Damn it, I've missed her.

"I missed all of you," Sana says. She sniffles, and it's then that I realize she's about to cry. I roll my eyes because it's the first thing I always do when she becomes too sentimental, but it doesn't take long for me to pull her closer to me, an arm wrapped around her shoulders in what I hope is a comforting gesture. She turns her face into my neck, wetting the skin there as her hand grips onto the front of my shirt surprisingly gently. "That cell was hell."

"I bet," I swallow, looking over to Dahyun and Mina for help. After all these years of knowing Sana, I should know how to comfort her completely, but it's still a struggle for me. It's natural, but it's a struggle. Dahyun smiles, and they both move to a different side of Sana as quickly as they can, hands reaching out to play with her hair, rub her back, absolutely anything they can do. I stay quiet to allow her to cry, up until she stops shaking so much. Humour could be a good choice now. Or a terrible one. I settle with trying it out when she sniffles again, "Mina and Dahyun were so hard to handle when you were in there."

"Momo," Mina pulls back to scowl at me, and I grin. Messing with Mina was always fun. "She's lying, Sana."

"No, no," Sana clears her throat, brushing her hair out of her face before wiping her eyes, "you were a bit of a mess, weren't you?" Panic rises in my chest because my attempt at humour was already beginning to backfire. We should talk about this, but Sana is still upset about the cell, and Dahyun and Mina aren't ready, and- God damn it, Momo. 

"Only for a little bit, but-"

"No buts," she cuts Mina off, her eyes never leaving Mina's face. The girl looks as if she's shrinking under Sana's gaze, and I really wish I could mouth an apology right now, "why, Mina?"

"It was my choice, Sana, if I didn't want to do it, then I wouldn't have. I know what I did, so I can't complain about the consequences. Please don't worry about me, it's over now."

"I get that it was your choice," Sana begins, voice low and steady, "but, love, you're still my baby. I don't care if we're fifty years old, you'll always be my baby. So it's my job to take care of you, but I couldn't while I was locked away. You could have killed yourself, Mina."

"Death is a little dramatic, don't you think?" Mina chuckles. I don't find it funny at all, but I know she laughs when she's nervous, so I take her hand in mine. Dahyun shifts beside of Sana, her hand squeezing the older girl's thigh. 

"It's good to think about because it scares you," Sana replies smoothly, "you're not still taking them?"

"I'm not."

"Momo helped?"

"And Dahyunnie."

"Okay. Where are they?" Mina stays quiet, and my heart begins to beat faster because I really hope she didn't try and lie to me. She looks better already, but- I sigh deeply when she opens her mouth.

"In the backpack Kai gave me. But I haven't taken any since Momo made me stop, I promise!" I interrupt before Sana can lecture her. She might need it, but I'd like to think she won't.

"We'll get rid of them at the top of JYPE," it's more of a demand rather than a request. Luckily Mina nods. "I guess we're being really honest, aren't we?"

"Are we?" Dahyun finally speaks, her voice calming to the storm in my head. I look over at her, already realizing what she wants to tell Sana. I already know about it, but if I hear it come from her mouth, it'll be too weird for me. But I don't stop her. Sana needs to know.

"Is this some type of therapy session?" Sana asks, eyebrows furrowed when Dahyun pulls her hand away, taking her bottom lip between her teeth. "If you're trying to tell me something, Dahyun, just do it. You won't ever be able to say it if you don't do it now. Whatever it is, I'll still be here, okay?" She smiles reassuringly. Dahyun softens once more.

"I love you, Sana," it's more of a whisper, like she doesn't want Mina and me to hear it. It doesn't crush my chest as much as I thought it would actually leaving her lips. I know that they love each other. Those two are made for each other, "so I'm going to be honest, okay?" Sana nods, reaching out to squeeze Dahyun's thigh this time. "I kissed Mina during that storm two weeks ago. And it felt different from kissing you, it was more intense. You made me feel like I was on some euphoric cloud, but Mina wrapped herself around me and made me feel high on the ground. Neither of you were bad. You were both really good, and I'm so confused. It isn't right, is it?"

"So who do you really love?" Sana asks, eyes shifting towards Mina. I stay quiet because right now isn't my place. Not until it becomes more intense, and I know it will because it's Sana.

"I love you, but it's different with Mina and Momo."

"You love them, too?"

"Maybe, I don't know, Sana-" Dahyun begins to speak faster, and she's obviously becoming more nervous. Sana interrupts her before her nerves can get the better of her.

"Calm down, I'm not angry. I told you I'd still be here. Just tell me, do you really love me? Or are you confusing it with infatuation? I won't be mad, and if you need time to think about it, I'm more than willing to let you. Whatever makes you happy, my dear."

"It depends on who your home is," Dahyun says, "that's who you love, right? Damn it, I need to leave." She stands up abruptly, dusting off her jeans before hurrying out of the door in such a haste I'm worried she'll trip. I shouldn't try and keep her. If she needs time to think, I'll allow that. And if she doesn't love me, I'll be okay with that. Her happiness matters the most to me.

"That was... Intense," Mina breathes after a long while, "Are you okay, Sana?"

"I'll be okay when I know Dahyunnie is."

"You love her a lot, don't you?" I hum, squeezing Sana's shoulder. She nods, laughing softly.

"You do, too,"

"Maybe," I reply, chewing on my inner cheek when Mina's eyes drop away from my face. "I love Mina quite a bit though." And I do. If we're being honest, I might as well give into what little courage I can gather.

"Glad we're on the same page," Sana finally faces me, cheeks still stained and wet, and eyes still slightly red. There's something inside of both my mind and stomach that snaps at the way she looks, hair messy and cheeks red. She's my best friend, and yet I can't help but want to capture her lips in such a searing kiss it burns her. I want to burn Sana without harming her, I want to build Mina up, and I want to wrap Dahyun away from all things that can hurt her. I want to lean forward, wrap my hand around Sana's throat, and keep her under me until she's crying. But, I can't. After all, she's my best friend, "what are you thinking about, Momoring?"

"What hell tastes like," I reply, shrugging it off. I snap my eyes away from her lips to refocus on Mina. Sana's fingers trail up the side of my neck, cautious and daring before pressing against my pulse point.

"If you're so curious, find out."

"You don't wanna do that to yourself," I mumble. Mina's eyes darken, and there's that familiar feeling in the pit of my stomach that makes me feel strange. It makes me nervous, but it's not terrible, "focus on your girlfriend."

"Whatever you want." Sana says, and I hate the way her voice drops, dripping with filth. She worsens the sudden feeling, and my sudden attraction to her. She's forcing my head under the water that is Mina and Dahyun, and the ease is completely gone by now. I'm a complete mess, and to clear my mind, I grab onto the front of Mina's shirt, bringing her lips against my own roughly. It doesn't take long to settle into a steadier rhythm, one that has Mina crying when my hand slips down to grip onto her hip in such a harsh manor I hope it bruises.

"I love you." I tell her before taking her bottom lip between my teeth.

If we're a complete fucking mess, I might as well make the most of it for now. A mess will only ever turn into a disaster, especially if I'm involved in it. God, I hope it does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the last chapter is coming soon !


	31. dystopia I: END.

NO P.O.V.  
****  
Anxiety.

Anxiety, and terrible thoughts that plague Chaeyoung's mind, and that make her so sick she can barely stand. She wants to throw up, and she wants to punch something, and cry, but she bites into her lip instead, the faint taste of blood providing some type of ease to her racing mind. She knocks on the door heavily, exhaling harshly when it opens almost too quickly. 

"Chae-"

"I missed you, and I'm sorry, fuck, I am so sorry," Chaeyoung's words come out rushed as she presses her face into Tzuyu's neck, inhaling the sweet scent of the girl she's come to love. Tzuyu's hands scramble to push her away, eyes wide and curious, but hurt. Chaeyoung's heart clenches, "you hate me, yeah?"

"I don't hate you," Tzuyu mumbles, "I just don't understand why. You're safe, aren't you?"

She believes she is. She was released from the cell not too long at all ago without much word on why (Jackson was made to keep quiet). She nods, but she isn't sure. In her mind, none of them are safe, and they never will be as long as they're kept in JYPE.

"I'm out, not free," it's a partial joke, one that has Tzuyu shoving Chaeyoung's shoulder before she grabs her wrist, "can I explain?"

"There's nothing to explain," she replies, but the way Chaeyoung's looking at her-

She sighs, "okay."

Her parents departed this morning, Chaeyoung learns. And she learns that Tzuyu's father is absolutely furious with Chaeyoung, and that her mother really hopes that Chaeyoung isn't a troublemaker. She's probably more furious with Chaeyoung than Tzuyu's father will ever be, but if what Tzuyu says is true (that her mother is softer, even when angry), then she'll never know.

It's cold in the dorm Tzuyu has been staying at. And it's eerie and familiar, but too strange at the same time. A chill runs down Chaeyoung's spine as Tzuyu settles down on a dark chair. She hears footsteps, and a pair of unique voices, ones that make her fists tighten by her sides as she stands to Tzuyu's left.

One, two, three, four, five, six-

"You've brought in your love?" Rosé's eyes land on Chaeyoung, dark and unsettling. She swallows, her stomach dropping when Jisoo swings an arm around Rosé's waist. There's a fire nipping at her insides accompanied by a searing anger that threatens to spill over. They've hurt Sana, and Jeongyeon, so they could have injured Tzuyu. They better fucking not have.

"We're discussing things," Tzuyu smiles, interlacing her fingers with Chaeyoung's, and it almost annoys her how calm Tzuyu is. God, if she knew.

"That's good, isn't it, Chaeyoung? You wouldn't want to keep things from her." Rosé smiles, voice dripping with innuendo. Chaeyoung tenses, but keeps her distance. The last thing she wants to do is try and fight someone she barely knows, especially when she's still feeling weak.

"I'm not."

"No one ever is," Jisoo comments. Tzuyu's dart back and forth between Chaeyoung and the couple in front of them. Jisoo's arm tightens, "we're going. I expect to hear from you, Tzuyu."

The request is nothing short of confusing, and Chaeyoung has half the mind to go to ask what she means, but there are more important matters to attend to right now. So she waits until the door closes behind Rosé and Jisoo before she turns to Tzuyu, her anxiety returning at full force, "Jinyoung is a bad person. You know that, don't you? So you'll understand why I attacked him, right?"

"You attacked him?" Tzuyu deadpans as her eyes go wide.

"Yeah. I kept pushing, and he kept threatening me- I can't control my thoughts when I'm provoked, Tzuyu. And he got all pissed because I attacked him, and yeah, of course it wasn't very logical of me, but he spoke of Jeongyeon like she was only a speck of dirt beneath his shoes. And he has that Lisa girl wrapped around his fucking finger because she came flying in, which what the fuck, Tzuyu, does she still have the ability to use her powers?"

"Why does that matter?"

"Because of those pills. She takes them, so why is she still able to control her element? Fuck it, you're right, that doesn't matter. He wants to tear us apart one by one, piece by piece, and he knows that we have the ability to fight back. He locked me up because he knows I don't care if I get in trouble or whatever. Anything to protect you, and the others. And I'm so, so, so sorry I made such a terrible impression on your parents, and you, and I probably terrified you, yeah?"

"Obviously," Tzuyu sniffles and Chaeyoung swallows. She reaches out to cup Tzuyu's cheek, running her thumb over the trail of tears, "I couldn't come see you. It didn't feel right."

"It shouldn't have felt right, and you really don't have to forgive me. I don't expect you to." 

It stays silent, with only Tzuyu's heavy breaths, and sniffling filling the room. Chaeyoung crouches down, taking Tzuyu's face in both her hands, her heart aching at the sight of the girl she's come to love falling apart. It's her fault. It's only her fault why Tzuyu's falling apart, and she tries to push the self-loathing into the back of her head, but she can't. 

"Chaengie?" Her voice is small, and her eyes are red, and swollen, and wet as she finally meets Chaeyoung's own, a more comfortable silence falling between them before Tzuyu's hands pull Chaeyoung up and closer to her body, "I'll stay by your side no matter what."

"Me too." It's a promise, one that both know they can keep.

 

○○○○  
THREE DAYS LATER  
○○○○

Seven in the morning, and Minatozaki Sana is up rather than sleeping in. It makes sense; she hasn't been able to sleep well at all since the talk she had with Dahyun, Mina, and Momo. It had ended terribly, with Dahyun running away with the excuse that she had to think things out, and Momo provoking Sana only to turn to Mina. It's good that they've finally confronted each other about their feelings, but it still leaves a bitter taste in Sana's mouth. Falling for Mina wasn't her intention when she first met the girl, and slowly falling into Momo's messed up brain definitely wasn't even thought about. Ever.

But none of it matters because Dahyun is the one she can't ever get out of her mind. Protecting Mina and Momo was so much different than protecting Dahyun. To Sana, Dahyun needs it the most, and she deserves every good part of the world and more. She's a true angel.

Momo had switched rooms with Nayeon (and Jihyo) to allow Jeongyeon to see them more often, and to have their own privacy to talk things out. She understands a lot, more than most think she does. It's a comforting feeling to see Nayeon, Jeongyeon, and Jihyo cuddled up together on the bed most of the time when Jihyo isn't at JYPE, and the other two aren't in training sessions. Not like they need it.

And Chaeyoung and Tzuyu aren't any better. But they're young, and they're so sickeningly sweet that Sana doesn't mind that they're inseparable. It's somehow cuter, and much more reassuring to see them completely attached to each other on Tzuyu's bed while Dahyun sleeps soundly (Sana checks up on her often despite the issues still going on between them).

She wants to talk to her, she really does, but the thought of scaring Dahyun off is terrifying, and the absolute last thing she ever wants to think about doing. And she knows that Dahyun prefers not to confront anyone, so the only way she'll be able to talk to Dahyun about it is if she begins the topic.

She inhales, peeking her head through the door to the youngest three's room. It's a surprise to not see Chaeyoung and Tzuyu in the room, and it's even more of a surprise to see Dahyun sitting up with her head in her hands. It's instinctual, the way Sana doesn't even think to walk into the room, and pull Dahyun into her arms. But she can't because she isn't sure Dahyun would be alright with it, so she settles with clearing her throat, and closing the door behind her, "Are you okay?"

"Always," it's a complete lie, Sana knows. And Dahyun knows, too, but it still feels strange to admit to Sana when she feels like the world will come crumbling down any second, "why are you here?"

"Why are you awake?"

"I couldn't sleep."

"Oh," Sana bites her bottom lip as she looks around the room. It's messier than it was the other night, "where are Chaeyoung and Tzuyu?"

"Chae wanted to take Tzuyu to see the new butterfly room. Something about reminiscing. Really, why are you here?"

"I, uh, check on you. A lot. To make sure you're not upset, or mad. But you're upset now, and I need to talk to you."

"I thought you said you'll wait until I'm ready?" Dahyun drops her hands, and her eyes look just as tired and dead as they were when she was worse. It pulls at sana's heart violently.

"Are you not ready? I can wait longer." Sana thinks she could wait lifetimes if that's what Dahyun needed. But the younger girl shakes her head.

"If I don't discuss it now, I never will." She pats the spot beside her, and Sana joins her on the bed cautiously. 

"First, I need you to realize I'm truly not mad. And if you would prefer to be with Momo, or Mina, or anyone else other than me, that's alright. Your happiness is my happiness, Dahyun." She wants to reach over and take Dahyun's hand into hers, but that's a bad choice right now. Probably. Isn't it?

"I love them," Dahyun replies, and the confession feels like a weight being lifted off her shoulders, "and I consider them apart of my home, but you are my home. That's what you taste like. Mina tastes free, and mature, Momo tastes kind of childish, but warm and welcoming. You taste like everything I've ever wanted. And we're together, aren't we? You're my girlfriend. But aren't labels only making everything more difficult?"

"That's up to you," Sana smiles softly, grasping the sheets to keep from reaching out, "if you don't want to be mine, that's alright."

" I don't need that right now, and you don't either. But I'm yours," Dahyun's eyes drop down to Sana's left hand before she reaches down and eases her fingers apart, "one day."

"Is this a breakup?" It's only half a joke. It is a breakup. But it doesn't feel like one. It feels freeing, not upsetting, and it feels as if Sana can breathe. It feels like Dahyun will be happier, and if she will be, that's the only thing Sana will ever wish for.

"Don't put it that way," Dahyun shakes her head, "it's not. I'm not leaving you. It's temporary. Until we're both better."

"Alright."

"Sana?"

"Yes, Dahyunnie?"

"Can I kiss you one more time?" Sana really wishes it wasn't the last time for a while. She nods with the intent to pour every last bit of emotion into it.

○○○○

 

With the new room arrangement, many things have become more efficient, and much more comfortable, Jihyo decides as she's lying across jeongyeon's lap, her head in Nayeon's. It's a strange position, but somehow they make it work. Jeongyeon's fingers write along Jihyo's exposed stomach, and she laughs when Jihyo jerks because she's ticklish. Nayeon's fingers thread through her hair, surely only causing it to become more of a mess.

They haven't moved since they woke up, and really, it's kind of terrible. But they seem better than they did, and they want to cherish that because God knows it won't last. It never does at JYPE.

Jihyo hums, her eyes closed, "This is a strange feeling."

"Is it bad?" Jeongyeon asks, fingers pausing above her hip.

"Not at all. It's good. I like it. But shouldn't you two be the ones being taken care of right now? You've been through a lot, and I'd like to-"

"You always take care of us," Nayeon cuts her off, "let us take care of you."

"You don't have to, loves." Jihyo attempts to laugh it off, but Jeongyeon continues trailing her nails over the sensitive, tanned skin.

"We want to."

It's far from a lie, too. Jihyo has been there even when Jeongyeon wouldn't accept her in, and even when Nayeon was still afraid, Jihyo was there. Jihyo is too good. She's good at so many things, but the best thing is her ability to genuinely care for others. She's selfless, something Jeongyeon has always wanted to be.

Admiration is too small of a statement, too small to describe exactly what Nayeon still feels when she catches sight of Jihyo. The thought of the younger girl brings joy to every part of her body, and it makes her stomach twist itself into knots. She recognizes the feeling as euphoria each time Jihyo kisses her.

"Jihyo?"

"Yes, Nayeon?"

"Were you serious? About marrying us?" She can hear Jihyo swallow, and she can feel Jeongyeon tense by her side. It wasn't too much was it?

"I am," she tells them, sincerity dripping from her voice. It allows the comforting atmosphere to increase, a warm blanket wrapping around the three of them. "We won't be at JYPE for much longer. Jackson and I have been planning an escape to America. Of course it would be difficult, and it would take years to be comfortable, but we're safe in America. Jinyoung can't take us back when we're there. But only if you two, and the others are okay with it."

"How long have you been planning this?"

"While I was still stuck in JYPE's freezing cold hospital. Jackson visited me when he could, and we would discuss this. It's hard to find privacy when every single vicinity at JYPE has dozens of cameras." Jihyo sighs, eyes opening once more. The light on the ceiling is blinding, but it offers a temporary distraction to her rising emotions. They shouldn't boil over. She's had enough of that lately.

"We don't understand English," Jeongyeon deadpans, fingers pausing for the second time, "how would that work?"

"We learn it."

Another long period of silence, and Nayeon clears her throat, "Can we marry in America?"

"Jackson says we can. His group will come with us, too. He's got his own home he wants to marry." Jackson and Jihyo seem close. They always have, but Jihyo hasn't ever truly talked about him, and opened up about him, and it's nice to listen to, Jeongyeon thinks.

"When will-" She's cut off by Jihyo's phone ringing. It's loud, and one of the most basic ringtones possible, and Jihyo can't seem to answer it quick enough.

The conversation isn't too calm, and Jeongyeon swears she hears Jinyoung's voice from the speaker. She's holding her breath, counting the seconds in her head as Nayeon's hand moves from Jihyo's hair to Jeongyeon's hand.

"Jinyoung needs me at JYPE. Take care of yourselves, and don't get into trouble."

○○○○

 

"It's colder than usual," Mina says, gripping onto the straps of Kai's backpack tighter. Momo's hand comes to rest on the small of her back, a comforting gesture, "why the top of JYPE?"

"It's high, and we both don't like heights. This way you're overcoming two things at once." Momo says, voice wavering. Mina wants to laugh, and to make fun of her, but her heart is pounding just as terribly as Momo's is.

"Thank you for coming up here with me," Mina bites her bottom lip as she shrugs the gray backpack off. She opens the front zipper, pulling out two bags of the tainted pills before dropping the bag by her feet. She presses into the bag, crinkling the plastic as she looks back at Momo, "it feels weird."

"Of course it does. You're getting rid of something you've learned to depend on." Mina swallows the reply she wants to give to Momo.

"I'll be okay?"

"Hopefully. If not, I'm still here. I will always be here," Interlacing her pinkie finger with Mina's, she guides the younger girl forward until their feet are right on the edge. Her breath gets caught in her throat at the sight of cars, and little people hurrying across the streets and roads. JYPE doesn't look like that from the inside, "I love you."

"I love you, too." the words ease her anxiety, and she opens both bags. She tilts them down, watching each and every pill fall to the bottom, the wind carrying the smaller ones, and she feels as if she weighs so much lighter, like she could fly away with them.

"They're gone." Mina says, breathless. It's a strange feeling, one that's seemingly freeing as she begins to laugh. The pills aren't here to keep her anymore. She's okay.

"I'm proud of you, Minari." Momo's hand snakes between their bodies to intertwine her fingers with the younger girl's. Mina shakes her head before burying her face into Momo's neck, breathing in. Things would be different.

A rumble to the ground, violent and sudden causes the top of JYPE to crack in one large motion. Mina jumps away from Momo, her heart surely dropping into her stomach as Jinyoung smiles at them, "Lovely. I'm glad I called all of you here."

One, two, three, and four seconds pass by (Mina's counting them with bated breath). Chaeyoung's face emerges through the door first, followed by Tzuyu, and Dahyun, and then Sana. Nayeon stumbles out of the doorway holding Jeongyeon's hand, and Jihyo is last. She's biting her lip, and Mina sees straight through her expression: she's nervous, and that only serves to make Mina's own nerves more of a mess. Jihyo is rarely ever nervous.

"You've all waited for the day that you could leave JYPE. How would you feel if that day was today?" It doesn't feel right in Mina's gut. Jinyoung wouldn't let them leave just like that.

"I'd be all for it, Jinyoung," Jeongyeon is the first to speak, running a hand through her messy hair. She glances over at Jihyo, smile falling when she notices Jihyo playing with her fingers, "why?"

"I am done with you," he replies, stepping back. The ground shakes once more, just enough to knock each and every girl off of their feet for a couple of seconds. Jeongyeon's eyes squeeze shut as her hands come in contact with the hard ground, scraping against her flesh enough to make it bleed. She swears, and when she looks up, she notices Jihyo standing by Jinyoung's side. Jisoo, Jennie, Rosé, and Lisa are standing to his left, as if they're his bodyguards, and it makes Jeongyeon sick, "Project Twice is no longer my responsibility, and it isn't Jihyo's either," Jihyo swallows, "Jihyo. Kill them."

Silence fills the area around them.

Mina swears she can hear ticking, and then another heavy rattle followed by screaming from below them. She can hear slamming, and the sound of water and air ripping apart everything, and fire and earth aiding.

Chaeyoung can hear Jackson crying out for help, and Youngjae, and Somi. She feels guilt, and she swears she almost throws up all over the shoes Mina bought her a while ago.

Nayeon wants to die. She wants to be the one being ripped apart.

Momo bites her tongue, the taste of blood bringing her back down into reality. Her hand tightens around Mina's, eyes going dark.

Sana takes Dahyun into her arms, whispering promises, and swears. She kisses Dahyun's tears before her own begin to mingle with the taste of Dahyun's.

Tzuyu whimpers, everything crumbling beneath her. She misses home. She misses so much, and she doesn't want this. She doesn't need this. So Chaeyoung grabs the front of her shirt, pulling her into her small frame.

Jeongyeon growls, a force to be reckoned with as she begins to move for Jinyoung. Lisa is quicker though, wrapping her arms around Jeongyeon and pulling her to the front of her body. She burns fire into Jeongyeon's wrists in one simple motion, "Move and I'll do worse." It's a promise.

Jihyo feels tears beginning to form in her eyes, and she feels the burning in her throat threatening to overtake her. She wants the best for them, and more, and living through this won't help them. But she loves them, terribly so at that. So she swallows, shaking her head, "No."

"No?"

"No."

"Wrong choice," a heavy burst of wind sends Jihyo flying back until she's nearly at the edge of the building. She falls onto her knees and hands, swearing at the pain that shoots through her body. She stands up on shaky legs, knees knocking together, and biting into her lip to keep from groaning; it's a sign of weakness. "My dear, I've always known you were the most powerful. From the day I found you. You have the ability to take me out if you wanted. But that won't happen because you depend on me. Despite all the things I've made you do, you will always choose my side in the end."

It isn't surprising, but it is. It doesn't make Jeongyeon angry, but it does. It doesn't make Nayeon's trust fall, but it does. Jinyoung brings his hand up once more, fingers already curling. They reach his palm just as Jihyo redirects her position, a fast motion to direct her away from Jinyoung's focus. A more intense pain falters her balance, and she cries out, eyes shutting to their own accord. She feels a heavy hand around her throat, and when she can see clearly, she sees Jinyoung, eyes white and unforgiving in front of her.

He throws her off to the side, eyes searching for Jennie. It's a beautiful sight, truly, with the way Jennie has Dahyun in her arms with Sana crying and begging. Jisoo has a knife to Momo's throat, a vine keeping Mina rooted in place, and Rosé is more focused on making Sana's state of mind worse rather than attacking Nayeon.

Nayeon wipes her eyes harshly as Jihyo commands a burst of air to wrap around Jinyoung, trapping him between two air currents. She clenches her fists, concentrating on Lisa and her vice on Jeongyeon.

Chaeyoung has Tzuyu standing off to the side, her much smaller frame doing its best to guard her away from anyone who may try and attack. But Tzuyu has different plans, eyes meeting Lisa's. Lisa pushes Jeongyeon away, fire burning her lungs and veins inside out as she pushes a fusillade of fire Jinyoung's way. Tzuyu adds to the attack with a rush of air, enough for Jinyoung to choke over the angry smoke and air. His hand tightens momentarily around Jihyo's throat before dropping her, and pressing against his chest.

Jihyo pushes back against Jinyoung, heavy rocks from below making him stagger and trip. He loses his balance, and Jisoo takes advantage of that, tying him up in several thorn-decorated vines. He breaks them with ease, twisting back over, and carrying himself on a cold current. Jihyo swears, motioning for Rosé. She dissolves, and appears below Jinyoung, using hotter air to push herself above the man. She smiles, and waves before pushing him off of the current, grinning wider when Jihyo captures him in a suffocating grip, the air pushing into his mouth and wrapping around his windpipe. 

Chaeyoung's eyes go wide as she shields herself away from the boiling hot water that is sent his way next, no doubt by Mina and Momo if Jihyo taught her correctly. Lisa must have been teaching them things privately, then. It doesn't help her confused state because she's so sure that Jinyoung's new group were for him. They were with him, weren't they? Momo makes sure the water aids Jihyo, keeping it against his flesh, and blinding him.

She swears, jumping back onto her feet when a darker shadow appears next to Jinyoung. It fades into flames that dissipate to reveal Hyun-suk, the man they met so many weeks ago. He doesn't speak, or move, but Lisa freezes in her place, eyes wide. Jinyoung laughs (he's most definitely free now. The thought is sickening), and she can hear Jeongyeon gasp.

Jennie rushes over to Lisa, glowering at the man in front of her. Lisa falls to her knees, screaming out as agonizing pain washes over her. Sana's white hand is behind her, and Chaeyoung is so sure that she could definitely try and capture both Jinyoung and Hyun-suk in it, but she doesn't budge. The screaming, and crashing suddenly stops, and it's as if time slows with it. Jihyo's heart leaps into her throat, pounding harshly against it as she tries to pick herself back up. She's weak, and tired, and she knows she's so terribly close to exhausting herself, but the sight that appears once the smoke has faded is nothing short of terrifying. Nayeon almost cries out, and Momo's nails dig into her skin, and Mina's hand, too.

"This is what you've always wanted, isn't it?" Jinyoung laughs, wiping at his eyes as his own large, ghostly hand drops Jeongyeon a couple feet playfully before catching her once more. She's dangling from the edge, unable to move, and her cheeks are red as she cries out, shaking her head. She doesn't want this. She doesn't want to die yet, she doesn't want to leave them. God, she can't leave them.

Hyun-suk shakes his head when Sana growls, low in her throat, already stepping closer. He snaps his fingers three times, and a wall of fire begins to build around them, "Another snap and I'll have the building destroyed along with you."

It isn't enough, she knows. She knows so much, and she knows she doesn't have enough to succeed, but she gives in due to a spate of heavy anger, regret, and fear. Her vision is blurry, and the air is suddenly so much colder as she concentrates on using a larger, white arm to pull Jeongyeon out of his reach. She falls to the ground just as Jinyoung grabs the front of Jihyo's shirt, pulling her down with him as he staggers off of the building. She can't think, darkness washing over her eyes as she allows herself to sleep. It's just sleep. She's so, so sleepy.

It isn't the fall that knocks Jeongyeon's breath from her lungs. It isn't the smoke that makes her choke, and it isn't the searing pain pulsing around her mark heavily. No, not even close. A harsh pull tugs on her heart, and crushes her lungs, and she can feel water flooding into them and spilling out of her mouth. It isn't anger. It isn't sadness. She feels empty as she punches the ground without remorse, the force of it shaking the building. She hisses as Nayeon tries to pull her away and into her lap, but gives in, screaming into Nayeon's chest as the older of the two bites into her lip hard enough to make it drip blood.

It isn't real. It's not real. It's not fucking real.

It's too real.

Jeongyeon's nails hurt as they tear along Nayeon's exposed thighs, but she doesn't mind. She feels the same. So with dark eyes, she presses her own nails into her palm, smiling as the building begins to collapse.

This is dystopia.


End file.
